Born Into Anarchy
by MsHap Dilligaf
Summary: Mackenzi Morrow gets out of jail, and reunites with her family.Where she meets a Son she can't get out of her head.life isn't all rainbow and sunshine even for a biker princess. Rated M for Language, Violence, and future Smuttiness! Happy/OC
1. Chapter 1

a/n~ My first shot at writing a fanfic.

Special Shout out for Lauren (Bad Company) for reading this, listening to my ideas, and generally putting up with my rambling! 3

italics= flash backs or thoughts

*~*Chapter 1*~*

Today was the day.

Today was FINALLY the day.

The day that I get to see my family again. To really get to see them. Not behind a sheet of bullet proof glass. Without me sitting at a table handcuffed to the floor. Hell yeah today was the day I finally get to take this hideous orange jumpsuit off, don't get me wrong I like orange and everything but lets see how anyone reacts to a color that their forced to wear every single day and night for 6 years straight.

The guard comes to take me to get cleaned up, he's talking, but I'm just not listening too him. I'm too wrapped up in my own head to hear his bullshit taunts. I open my eyes and take a good look at my home for the last 6 years. Jesus am I ever glad to be out of here today. Good-Fucking-Bye 8 by 10 cell, with one nasty ass toilet and a busted ass sink. Hasta la fucking vista you flat as a pancake mattress. I put my hands together for the cuffs and he takes me to the shower. The last time I have to deal with these pervvy ass guards watching me while I shower.

When I'm done they take me to put on normal clothes so I can be released into the world again. These "normal clothes" where brought here for me by Gemma. A pair of dark blue jeans, a white tank top, and a pair of white Nikes is waiting for me, as well as a red bra and panty set. The jeans are really tight, I can barely get them over my ass. The Tank top is so much worse, extremely tight and short that there's an inch of skin showing then my belly button and then more skin thanks to my low riding jeans. And of course you can see my red bra threw my shirt. "Thank you Gemma!" I say out loud, and smirk at myself in the mirror; _it's good to be back baby!_

Then I head down to do all my paperwork, so I can get out of this shithole. It takes longer than it should but I don't let it get me down, I get to be outside without supervision. While the clerk is taking for-fucking-ever, I run though what got me here in the first place.

_I'm only 15 but my dad lets me come to some SAMCRO parties, not all because and I quote "I can't let these assholes corrupt you princess". These assholes as my dad put it were my family, they would never let anything happen to me. And as far as corrupting little ol' me, any innocence I had was ripped from my heart on my 5__th__ birthday, but that's a story for a different time. I actually got to stay for the party the night before because we were celebrating Bobby's divorce. _

_It was a Tuesday, nothing good ever happens on a Tuesday. I was in my hometown of Charming, California. I was at the garage that my dad owns. Most of the guys were passed out drunk from the party the night before as per their usual. What few friends that I had, that weren't Sons were busy. So I was extremely bored._

"_Sweetheart, why don't you come with me" Gemma, my step mom had apparently been watching me try to figure out what to do to keep busy. I sure as hell wasn't cleaning up after the party._

"_Why? Where are you going?" _

_Gemma sighed. "I'm gonna run into town and get my hair done, and thought maybe you'd like to get something done to yours"_

_I just looked at her confused unconsciously touching my dark cherry red locks, thinking What the fuck is wrong with my hair? She must have read my expression because she continued._

"_You could get it cut, or dyed, even highlights just come with me Hun" she grabbed my hand to pull me along, but I pulled my hand back. She just looked at me exasperated._

"_I don't want anything done to my hair, I like it just how it is." I told her. She just looks at me like I'm speaking Chinese. So now it's my turn to continue, and I'm pissed now._

"_I don't want to dye my hair, I don't want it cut, and I sure as shit don't want highlights. I like my hair how it fucking is!" The last part I annunciate like I'm talking to a 4 year old, and yell because she is still looking at me like I don't make any sense. _

"_Who gives a shit about your hair, stop fuckin' yellin!" Says a voice deep with sleep, I look over to see Tig glaring at me, to which I simple smirk and flip him the bird. Then I realize I basically woke everyone up. _

"_Well good morning, it's so nice of you all too finally WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I say laughing as Tig cringes and a chorus of curses arise from the mass of previously passed out guys. Some of the guys get up and shower so they can get to work before my dad has to come in and get them moving, none of them wanted that to happen._

See I don't remember much from that day, but I wish I had gone with Gemma. That's the only reason that the hair salon fiasco sticks out. We've argued a hell of a lot worse, over some really stupid shit, but that's what happens when you have two strong and fiercely protective females in a family.

_I hung around the garage for a while helping out the hung-over fellas here and there. Then I finally got the chance to get away from the garage. My dad walked over to me where I was helping Chibs out._

"_Princess, why don't you go get everyone some lunch?" I was ecstatic, I had recently gotten my license, and I'm damn good behind the wheel, thank you fellas for taking me driving when I was younger! I was so caught up with excitement and trying to walk away, that I didn't realize my dad was still talking, _

"_Hello, I'm not done yet. You need to get everyone's orders and wait for your escort"_

"_What? Dad come on I don't need anyone coming with me"_

"_Like hell you don't, you're a new driver and how are you gonna carry all the food to the car?"_

_I just looked at him. He was making excuses, and I knew it and he knew I knew it. He smirked at me and said "you can pick your escorts". So I picked Juice who was the prospect, and Chibs. My dad wasn't happy with that choice, so he said "Jax". I just scowled at him, me and my brother Jax have not been on good terms for a few weeks. _

"_What's wrong with bringin Juice and Chibs with me?" I said not understand what the problem was. He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow, so I did the same back to him, my crystal blue eyes meeting his identical ones. _

_We stayed like that for a while then "I'll go with Mac, Chibs and the Prospect." My dad blinked and I turned around smirking my ass off._

"_Thanks Opie you're the best." I said walking up to him and giving him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. I rounded up all the orders for lunch and headed to get the car. Just as I was pulling the drivers door shut someone grabbed it. I look up to see my dad standing there looking none to happy._

"_Mackenzi, I don't like this," he said. To which I raised an eyebrow. "This whole thing with you and the prospect."_

_Now I just rolled my eyes at him. "His name is Juice, Dad."_

"_See that shit right there" he said pointing his finger at me. "You call him Juice and I always see you two talkin to each other."_

"_Seriously, what the hell is the problem with me talkin to Juice?" I was beyond confused I talk to all the guys, all the time whether they're a Son or they just work at the garage_

_I looked up at him confusion all over my face, when it all became clear as he was looking extremely protective. So I got out of the car, and hugged him._

"_Dad" and I just start flat out laughing, so I decide to start again. "Dad, there is nothing going on with me and Juice I promise. We just talk and hang out a little, that's it dad."_

_He's searching my face, to see if I'm lying, which I'm not. Sure Juice is hot and all but we are just friends._

_He must have finally figured out that I wasn't lying and said, "I believe you Mac. But I," he looks over to the bikes where Chibs is motioning Juice towards the car, I'm just sitting back down in. He shuts the door and looks at me, "I just don't like the way he looks at you sometimes Princess."_

_I laugh again and motion for him to come closer, and kiss him on the cheek, "I love you, Dad." I say just as Juice opens the passenger side door and gets in. _

_My dad smiles at me and then looks at Juice and glares a full out warning at him, no words necessary. I'm laughing again and Juice looks like he's going to have a heart attack._

_As I'm pulling out, I stop close to my Dad and roll my window down. "No worries Dad, it's the ones that are patched that you should be worried about." With that I winked and drove away, but not before I saw my Dad give me a shocked look, and say "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?"_

_When we get into town, I find a place to park and we all head into the burger shop. There's a long line so I immediately look for a way to escape the crowd, and decided that maybe I could run down to the grocery store to grab some stuff while the guys wait for food. _

_Small towns like Charming are filled with judgment and gossip at every turn, and when you're the "King's little Princess" everything is amplified, and you get stared at A LOT. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me, I usually go out of my way to make sure that I make it memorable for whoever sees me out and about. But today I wasn't up to it, too little sleep and my teenage hormones were flaring. I didn't want to get banned from the burger shop again._

"_You know what? Why don't I just run down and get some 2 liters from the grocery store"_

_The guys all turned to look at me like I insane, so I explained. "You know how gross it is when your soda gets watered down and waxy from the cups. You were just complaining about that the other day Chibs!"_

_Opie and Chibs shared a look and Opie shrugged. "Ok darlin' but hurry it up I'm starvin'." _

_I grinned and kissed Chibs on the cheek for letting me do something without a fricking leash._

_I walked down the street to the grocery store, still in plain sight of the burger shop. I went in and bought a few 2 liters, making sure there was enough for all the guys. When I came out of the store I went to the car and loaded the trunk with our sodas, and turned to the guys who we back with the food._

"_You got everything Mac?"_

"_Of course I do Op."_

"_You sure about that?" At this I nod, seriously how hard is it to get some sodas?Why is everyone on me about shit today? Opie looks at me obviously waiting for me to realize I didn't get something I was suppose to, when I didn't say anything else he decided I needed a check list._

"_2 Coke, 2 Mountain Dew, Orange soda, Grape soda, Ginger ale, and some napkins."_

_I'm checking them off in the air as he listing the stuff, when he gets to napkins I just look at them, I know damn well no one said a damn thing about any napkins._

"_What do you mean napkins? We have a shit load in the club house we can just use them." I say moving to get back in the car._

"_Actually," I look over at Juice. "Me and Bobby used them this morning cleaning up after the party,"_

"_All of them? There was a huge bag of napkins I saw just last night. You used all of them?" I look at him and he just nods."Have you heard of paper towels?" he looks ducks his head a nods again. "Fine I'll run back into the store and grab some napkins!"_

_I run in and find the napkins without an issue, and figure I might as well grab some paper towels well I'm right there as well. I even grabbed a few snicker's bars for Tig. Everything is all fine and I'm walking back out with the paper products._

God if I only knew_._

_I'm waving at the guys when I see something out of the corner of my eye._

_Next thing I know I'm flat on my back trying to catch my breath. It feels like I'm breathing fire._

_I look around and that's when I see them, these 4 crow eaters. I had heard them a little over a month ago talking about getting pregnant by my brother so that they could always be protected and maybe he would marry one of them. I kept trying to keep these skanks away from him after I heard their stupid plan. Jax hasn't been thinking clearly since Tara left, and I'm trying to look out for him, just like he's always done for me. This is why Jax and I were having issues, because Jax being typical arrogant Jax doesn't need anyone to look out for him. _

_The skanks or as they were born, Brittany, Ashley, Megan and Sarah were standing over me laughing, and Ashley was hold a baseball bat. They were talking some shit but I couldn't hear over the blood pounding in my ears. But they were obviously feeling victorious and completely full of themselves, for getting me on the ground._

_They just didn't realize that I'm a Morrow and we don't stay down for long, we get up and beat your fucking ass. _

_I stood up and just started swinging. It honestly was all just a blur to me, being pissed off and hurting will do that to a girl. _

_When they were all on the ground I looked over to the guys, who were just standing there shocked at what happened. It had probably been 5 minutes, if that. _

_So I started to walk over to them to leave, that's when it went for not good to bad. Brittany grabbed my leg as I was walking past them, at the same time that Ashley swung the bat again, this time with less power behind it, and hit me in the lower back. _

_I stumbled a little and fell to my knees tripping over Sarah. That's when they all got up and started kicking and punching me. _

_I looked over at the boys and they were running to get me, but I yelled and shake my head no. If they did something it would go from bad to horrible, I wasn't about to let them do jackshit to help me that would get them in trouble. _

_Because of the cut they wear, the fact that they are men, and their prior records, it would be incredibly bad for them to get in trouble with the cops over this bullshit, which I knew I could handle. _

_I started standing up, but these skanks didn't want me to so they were trying to push me back down. But when you grow up around a bunch of guys you learn how to fight._

_I got up completely and pushed them all off me and I had a little breathing room for a second. Then I just heard their voices, no words just the sounds their voices make, and I completely zoned out standing there. So they started throwing punches and kicks at me, I finally snap out of it to defend myself. _

It's still a blur to me, all I know is they kept hitting and kicking me, and swinging that damn bat. Then I was hitting, kicking, and shoving back.

_Next thing I knew Brittany went flying off the sidewalk where we were fighting, into the street, just as a car rounded the corner and hit her at full speed. The others didn't seem to notice, but I remember the blood flying and her scream. _

_They kept coming at me._

_It was difficult for me to focus, harder for me to breathe, but I had to keep them off me. I remember thinking if they get me down one more time the guys will no doubt jump in no matter what, and I wasn't having that. _

_Megan was bleeding from her nose and mouth so she backed up a little more than the others, and was on the ground holding her face._

_They still didn't seem to realize that Brittany was gone, so I started to think maybe I was hallucinating it all, I was feeling dizzy and light headed. _

_That's when Sarah came at me again in a full on charge. I stepped back from her, at the same time that Ashley swung the bat again. _

_But the bat didn't hit its intended mark, my head. Instead it hit Sarah full force in the head, and she just crumbled to the ground. I just remember seeing a ton of blood._

_Ashley didn't even look at her, she just pulled the bat back to hit me again, and I looked over at the Guys, Chibs was running over to me. And I remember thinking__** I must look pretty bad if he's coming at me like that and there's only one girl left standing**__._

_So I used all the strength I had in me and I tackled Ashley just before the bat would have hit me in the head. Instead it hit me in my shoulder and I heard a load CRACK! Followed by a sharp, intense pain._

_I must have blacked out from the pain because I came too with my Dad , Tig, Chibs and Jax standing over me as they were putting me in an ambulance. I just remember Chibs saying something that was completely unrecognizable because his accent was so thick. _

_Turned out my ribs were shattered and a few pieces were too close to my lung, and with the fighting the pieces pierced it, so I had a collapsed lung, as well as a broken collar bone and shoulder blade. A concussion. Internal bleeding, which needed surgery that I almost died during. And a shit load of cuts and bruises._

_The skanks didn't fair to well either. Brittany died when she hit the car. Sarah died from the blow to the head that Ashley delivered to her. And Ashley died due to head trauma from when I tackled her, while she was trying to hit me in the head with the bat._

_Apparently Ashley's family was connected pretty high up so they place the 3 deaths on me, as well as assault for Megan's injuries.  
_

_I was 15 and they tried me as an adult. And kept throwing out to the jury that I was part of a "group of motorcycle psychopaths" so naturally I was completely insane and didn't deserve anything but being locked in a cage for the rest of my life. _

_Fast forward a few months and I was looking at life in prison with no opportunity for parole, so I was thrown in jail, away from my family for 5 years._

_But then my good friend Juice helped get me out. See turned out that the skanks were video taping the whole thing, and Megan was never too smart so she showed it to a few people, who told my Dad what they had seen. Who then went and had Juice do some "technological shit" as my dad put it, and Juice got the tape into the right hands. _

_They outlined their whole plan in the tape and Ashley even talked about this judge being a family friend so they wouldn't get in trouble._

_The new judge went over everything, and over ruled the pervious judge. _Now I'm set to get out because it was all ruled self defense and I would have died had I not fought back, hell I almost did die from what those bitches did_._

"Ms. Morrow you need to sign this." My head shot up, looking at the clerk, I took the pen and signed my name across the Freedom Line; _Mackenzi Morrow._

The guards walk me to the front door, "procedure and all" he says, while leering at me. I roll my eyes, yeah_ I get it you just wanted to check out me out a little longer in actual clothes, FUCKIN CREEP!_

His leer drops from his face as soon as he opens the door. I look up and see why he no longer is being the full on creep, I'm use to.

My family is waiting for me, in all their Sons of Anarchy Glory.

I spot my Dad immedently, he's pacing in front of his bike, and he is so focused on his pacing and waiting for me that he doesn't realize that I'm standing about 15 feet from him.

Tig's straddling his bike staring off into space. Chibs, Juice, and some guy I never saw before, with blond hair, are all standing around their bikes talking. I spot Bobby, Piney, and a long bearded Opie chatting about something in the back.

The guard who had only opened the door, and never shut it, quickly muttered a curse and went back in the jail slamming the door shut.

Which caused 8 heads to snap in my direction, and when they saw me they all had looks of joy that quickly morphed into looks of pure shock to which I just busted out laughing, and started walking towards them. With all of them still in shock I did a little spin and showed off the full outfit and my officially feminine adult curves.

My Dad finally snapped out of it and said, "What the fuck are you wearing princess?"

"Yeah your right Dad it feels amazing to finally be out and free, I've missed you all so much too! Thanks for all the love!" I said heavy on the sarcasium. Which seemed to snap them some of them out of it, since they realized I have change physically, but was ultimately still the same girl that was always around the garage and clubhouse. They all mumbled some sort a greeting at me.

But I noticed that Tig was still looking at me with his head cocked to the side, not saying anything.

"And for your information you can thank Gemma for my complete outfit today, anyone got anything to say about it, good or bad, you see The Queen!" I told them all laughter evident in my voice.

Then I went to my Dad and gave him a kiss on the cheek which he returned and a big ol' hug. Chibs came over and scooped me into a huge hug and spun me around in a circle saying, "It's so good ta see ya darlin' but I didn't think I'd be seein this much of ya!" and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Then everyone else came up to me; right after Chibs, Bobby was squeezing me, then Piney. When Opie came up to me I cocked my head to the side and looked him up and down with a raised eyebrow, before saying. "Who the hell is this Paul Bunion looking motherfucker?"

We both gave each other serious looks and then Op picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and spun me around. He's been doing this to me ever since we were little kids, him being 6 years older than me and Jax's closest friend, he's always been in the big brother role, and he took every aspect of being a big brother seriously.

When Op finally set me down I was expecting Jax to come scoop me up next, when he didn't I looked around. I'm grinning like a mad woman thinking he's gonna sneak attack me which isn't unheard of for him and me, when all the sudden I realize that Jax isn't there.

_Still pissed at me? SERIOUSLY! _

_You will not cry just because he's not here. _

_He's my fucking brother and he couldn't come out for a minute to fucking see me get out? _

_Breathe your free!_ I smiled to myself. _**I'M FREE**_

Before I could wonder why I was arguing with myself, my Dad said, "Jax is doin' something for the club." I just nodded and went over to Juice who was keeping his distance, which was weird seeing as how he was one of the guys who visited me while I was inside.

"What's up, I got cooties or something now?" I whispered to him, to which he laughed and hugged me. I hugged him back extra tightly, I'm out because of whatever computer voodoo he worked.

I wasn't about to let him go quickly so I whispered into his ear, "thank you soooo much Juicy, I owe you big time Hun."

Juice whispered back, "You're free Mac that's all I wanted."

I pulled back and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. I looked around then whispered back, "You mean to tell me you just want me free?" when he nodded I continued, using our joking standard that he wants more from me according to my dad, feigning confusion and a little bit of hurt. "Like you don't want a pole dance or a lap dance from me?" Juice blushed.

When we heard a throat clear, Juice looked over my head and paled. I turned and saw my Dad glaring at us, apparently I didn't whisper quiet enough. Turning back to Juice I kiss him on his cheek and said "don't worry about my Dad, so much Juice. And thank you again." With a kiss for his other cheek.

I went to move in front of Tig, when I realized that the guy I didn't know had been standing really close to Juice and me, looking really uncomfortable. I saw that he was wearing a unpatched cut so I said, "Hey I'm Mac."

He just kept staring at me so I looked at the other guys and they were all either laughing or shrugging. My dad was glaring at the Prospect, Tig was looking at me with a dazed look on his face. Opie was glaring at Tig

I turned back to the prospect and snapped my fingers in his face. Nothing. "Hello" Nothing. Finally Chibs comes over and throws an arm around me.

"Mac this is Half-Sack, the Prospect." I turned my head quick to look at Chibs to see if he's just messing with me on this, his face although smiling, was serious. So I turned my head back to Half-Sack, still nothing, just a deep blush.

I shrug and turn to move on but stop. Turning back a little I look at the prospect and say, "I'm gonna wanna know why they call you Half-Sack, ya know. And I expect to hear it from you." He actually nodded.

Now I move in front of Tig, still seeming dazed. I cock my head to copy his, then snap my fingers in his face, "Hello, Tigger anybody home?" he grabs my hand so fast I didn't even see it coming.

"Don't put your hands in my face little girl." He sneered at me.

"Don't keep starin at my ass, get grabby, them call me little girl, you perverted asshole." I sneered back.

"Good to see prison hasn't changed you, still such a bitch." He said affection clear in his voice.

"Damn straight, good to see that you're still a dick." Affection clear in my voice now as well. He hugs me really tight and whispers "Good to have you back Pippi."

And I just laugh, Tig's been calling me "Pippi" since my obsession with "Pippi Long Stockings" when I was little, and of course because of my hair. Nickname for a nickname I guess since when I was younger and everyone was calling him Trager, I thought they said tigger so I always called him tigger and it caught on.

"It's good to be back, Old Man" I said, laughing as Tig growled at me.

"So what do you wanna do Princess?" my dad said, coming to stand next to me, as I break away from Tig.

"I want to take a long hot shower, then soak in a tub for 3 days to get this prison stench off me." Which causes everyone to laugh. Except Opie he's looking at me nodding. _He gets it, _I think_, he just got out not to long ago too._ I smile at him then I just stare at the rest of them, "I'm serious I feel dirty, like I haven't showered in years."

"Alright, who you ridin' with Mac?" I looked at Opie, who just looked back at me and repeated his question, "Who do you want to ride with Mac?"

I looked at the guys and their bikes, then back at the guys. "Oh no, you guys aren't startin this shit again! You guys decide who I ride with."

When I was little they use to do this to me. Make me choose who to ride with, then get all pissy at each other and give me their puppy dog eyes, to try and get me to change my mind. Only to be betting the whole time to see who the final outcome would be.

They all looked at each other, trying to figure out who I should go with then. I sighed "God this will take forever," I mutter to myself. Louder, "Tig get me outta here already."

Tig laughs and goes to collect his money, when the money's in his hand I snatch it from him and put it in my bra. The guys all look at me with their jaws dropped.

I smirk and walk over to Juice. "Mind if I ride with you?" I ask him, he just smiles, and gets on his bike, while I put on a extra helmet. I smirk and go to climb on when I feel just how low my pants are.

And of course Tig notices, "The carpet matches the drapes and the panties, very color coordinated Pippi, I approve."

I turn around and punch him in the stomach and arm. "Creepy ass Old Man" I tell him and walk back to Juice, who just took his cut off. I look at him wonder what he's doing when he pulls his shirt off and hands it to me, wordlessly.

I pull his shirt on, while he's putting his cut back on. Juice is still sitting on his bike ready to go, so I go over and put my hand on his shoulder like I'm about to get on, but first I kiss him on his cheek for the sweet gesture. But he moves his head and our lips meet.

_Just a little peck no big deal. _Then he opens his mouth and runs his tongue along my bottom lip. I gasp not expecting that at all, and Juice groans and grabs a hold of my hip as our tongues connect and rub against each other slowly.

_Juice is kissing me. Why the hell is Juice kissing me? Hmmm he tastes like mints, _I think to myself_. Funny, good kisser, hot, fun to be around, incredibly sweet, and a great body. God why does it have to feel insanely awkward to be this close to Juice?_

I pull away, give a half hearted smile and hop on the back of his bike like nothing just happened, when I couldn't be more confused. _My Dad was right? Juice doesn't see me as just a friend?_

"Mackenzi, get over here and ride with me." I faintly hear my dad say. When I don't move he yells, "MACKENZI, NOW", so I hop off Juice's bike and go over to my dad, who is sitting on his bike ready to go, then he says to the guys, "When we get to Charming, you all head to the club house, Tig, and Chibs come with Me too the house."

He starts his bike and we're out on the open road, heading home.

The wind caught my hair, and lashed me in the face. _Ahh today was the day!_

_Yeah the day a guy you thought was just a platonic friend totally made out with you in front of the club._

_I don't wanna think about that right now. _

_Now everything's gonna be weird with Juice. Always second guessing how he's looking at me, and anything he says._

_SHUT IT! I'M FREE!_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- if you check out my profile you can follow the link to check out pictures that go with this brain child of mine.

Lauren is amazing, and I don't know how she puts up with my shit.

This is angsty and dramatic, it just happened.

I OWN NOTHING! Although I would LOVE to own many of the Sons for any period of time!

*~*Chapter 2*~*

Riding on the back of my Dad's bike while in formation, I feel invincible and on top of the world. It's a feeling that I've missed way more than I realized.Being locked away from everything I've ever known messed with my head. Everyday seemed to be a new month that never ended. Thinking of all my family helped get me through, but I didn't allow myself to think on anything specific.

Being myself hasn't been possible for 6 years,_ Jesus am I actually high on being out?_ The memories start to flip threw my head, like a slideshow;

Listening to music, and drawing, while the guys were in church.

Pouting when I found out I couldn't be a Son.

Marking random shit with hearts, including a passed out Tig, with a sharpie.

Girlie days with Gemma at the mall, buying clothes and getting our nails done.

Getting drunk with Jax and Opie.

Smoking weed with Chibs and Bobby.

My Dad teaching me how to work in the garage.

Cooking with Gemma.

Laughing at family dinners. _I really am buzzin on this right now._

So wrapped in the past, I didn't realize we stopped moving. I look around and notice, we're sitting in front of my Dad and Gemma's house.

_I don't belong here_.

I have no memory of feeling _right_ anywhere. Even the clubhouse, although it has been a continual safe haven for me through my life. I remember moving into this house when I was 8. I didn't get why putting two broken families together would be a good idea. I was incredibly wrong, we've been though a lot in this house.

_That's exactly what it is to me a house, never__ Home__. _

_I wonder if I was at home before I turned 5. _

_**NO DO NOT GO THERE. EXPECIALLY NOW.**_

"Princess, you alright?"

I turn to my Dad. _When the fuck did he get off the bike? _"Huh, yeah I'm great." He searches my face, trying to figure out what happened. I notice then that Chibs and Tig are also looking at me. I smile and take my dad's offered arm. Hopping down to the driveway, I see that Gemma's car isn't there.

We all walk up the sidewalk, and my dad opens the door. "I'm just gonna go shower." I immediately say, and run up the stairs. When I get to my room I open the door, and just stop and stare.

It's all the same like no one has touched a damn thing. The walls are light lavender, just like when Gemma and I painted them while the guys were off on club business. In the center of the room is the queen sized bed that my Dad and Gemma bought for me not to long before I went to jail. The black iron leafs and vines of the headboard sticking out boldly against the lavender. Theres a big box sitting in the middle of the bed, _that wasn't there before_. A black desk in the corner, with colored pencils and my sketch pads covering the top completely. A window with a seat overlooking the back yard. A door, leading to the bathroom, and a set of double doors leading to the closet. A tall black dresser and a wide black dresser with a mirror attached against separate walls. On the wide dresser, is an arrangement of fake pink stargazer lilies, and white roses, next to a pink picture frame. I'm glued to the spot, staring at this photo from a distance.

"Ye look so much like her, Mac." I jump and spin around, finding Chibs standing in the door way watching me. He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Ya wan' me to beat his arse, sweetheart?"

"Who's ass? I'm not back even a minute and you already want to fight someone for me. You know I may not be as good as you are but I have a bit of skill in that area." I say joking with him, trying not to let my tears fall at his mention of my mom.

"Yer right, ya do have some skill. It's a wonder though, your teacher being a drunken bastard en all." I laugh. "I will beat his arse for what he did." At my blank look. "Juice, that whole kissin and grabbin you shite he pulled."

"Chibs, I love you for that but it was a misunderstanding. Totally innocent." He snorts and gives me a disbelieving look.

"Mac have ya forgotten that I know ya better than anyone else? Ye were uncomfortable when he kissed ya, then after, you were not ok."

"Fine, I wasn't ok but he doesn't need his ass kicked. It was an accident, one that Me and Juice will have to talk about, alright? _ME_ and JUICE, k?"

He nods, and looks around. "so who's arse ye gonna kick for messing with yer art shite?"

"What do ya mean? No one's messed with it, this is exactly how I left the room that last morning."

"I don't think so lovie." I look at him. He obviously knows something I don't so I wave my hand for him to continue. "You check yer closet yet?"

I shake my head no, walk over to my closet and open the door. Colors pop out at me instantly; blues, purples, and pinks, mixed with blacks, whites, and grays. I see every shade of jeans there is; pure black, blackish gray, white, light blue denim, dark blue denim, just plain denim. Even Khaki's.

"These weren't here before, I…. these aren't mine." I mutter

"Oh they most definitely are darlin'. Gemma went out and got ye a bunch of new shite kept goin on and on about the ol' ones not gonna be able to fit ye. O' course all of us thought it was just so she could go shoppin, but turns out she was right, your officially grown up now." He said in a shocked tone.

"Ahhh so that's why you came up here!" he just cocks his eyebrow. "You knew I was gonna shower and were tryin to get a peak huh?" I tease him

"Shut it, I was just comin to see if ye were all right. And since ya seem better I'll just go so ye can shower." He says kissing me on the forehead and turning to leave. When he gets to the door he turns back.

"Oh Mac, if ye weren't basically my niece then this would be a totally different situation." He winks then leaves shutting the door.

As soon as I'm alone I realize I really am dying for that shower. So I go into my bathroom, and freeze again. The walls are a sky blue that Gemma and I painted as well. The whole bathroom has a rubber ducky theme, I had totally forgotten about. But Gemma obviously went out and replaced everything. Fresh and shiny blue shower curtain with yellow rubber duckies swimming around on it. Fluffy soft light yellow bath mats on the floor in front of the toilet and sink. Little yellow garbage can. On the sink there's a rubber ducky toothbrush holder. When I look in the mirror, I see my long, thick bright auburn hair going every which way. My blue eyes look dull with exhaustion. I inspect my nose and tongue; _I can get them repierced, maybe tomorrow, maybe more piercings too, I have to go see Freddie._ The thought just lifts my spirits 10 fold.

I take off my clothes and throw them in the light blue hamper, then go to the bathroom closet for towels. All new all fresh, light blue and light yellow towels of every size greet me. I take out one of each color, then grab a real razor, not one of those disposable pieces of shit. Stepping into the shower I see my favorite shampoo, conditioner and body wash.

After a shower then a warm bubble bath, followed by another shower, I felt squeaky clean. With my hair wrapped in a towel, I threw on a huge purple fuzzy bathrobe that was on the back of the door. _Damn I bet Bobby could wear this and still swim in it._ When I go back out to my room I see that big white box that's on my dark purple sheets. I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed next to the box. I open the box, and gasp.

"**OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!"**

Nestled into the huge white box lies thee hottest boots I've ever seen. Knee high, 4inch stiletto, black leather, 'fuck-me-I'm-the-baddest-dominatrix-in-town' boots. With ties up with front and buckles clasped in the back, but zip up the inside of your leg. I couldn't hold it in, I squealed. _Yes I, Mackenzi Morrow, biker princess, just fresh from jail squealed like a 3 year old little girl that just got a puppy._

"What so you're a girl now? Beat some ass, get locked up, rip your brother a new asshole when he comes to visit you, and now you gon go and fuckin squeal with happiness? Who the fuck are you and what did you do wit my baby sis?" Jax says leaning against my bedroom door.

I'm officially speechless. Still in love with my boots, it takes me a minute to fully process what he just said, and I instantly remember 'ripping him a new asshole'. The last time I saw or spoke to Jax.

_About 18 months ago, I came to the visitation room, wondering who it would be this time. I have a steady 5 I can count on to come see me, and an occasional surprise. As I'm waiting for my visitor, I get chained to the floor, and think of the odd conversation I had with Gemma the other day. She was all pissed off about something but wouldn't tell me what or who it was about. When I asked she just said. _

"_Oh you'll find out soon enough honey, and when you do don't worry too much, ok?"_

_I'm brought out of my phone conversation by a visitor entering threw the door. It's Jax.I try to stand up forgetting I'm chained. Jax looks like someone pissed in his corn flakes, ran over his dog, and told him he was a piece of shit; pissed, worried, and hesitant._

"_What happened? Who's hurt? Oh God is someone dead? What happen? Who is it? Why the fuck why aren't you saying anything?" I basically yell at him two seconds after seeing his face. _

"_Whoa calm the fuck down aiight." He says eyeing the guards. "No one is hurt or dying. Ok? Nothing bad happened. Just chill out."_

_I take a deep breath, "K I'm good now tell me what the fuck is going on!" When he just sits there looking at me, I throw in, "please"_

_He smiles. "Aiight, now you know there ain't shit I can do bout you bein in here right?"_

_I nod, "You know even though I was a douche to you before, that I'd do any-fuckin-thing in this world for you right?" I nod, getting a sinking feeling in my gut. "You're the best baby sis anyone could ever dream of, and I love ya."_

_I can feel all the color drain from my face, "What…. What…." _

"_I got married" _

"_Huh?"_

"_I said I got married." I laugh __Right my brother Jax Teller married HA!_

"_No seriously I got married," I look at him. He's completely serious, and still talking but I'm too shocked to be listening to him. "……hanging out……fun……..Wendy…….no big deal….."_

_Wendy, did he just say Wendy? It sounded like Wendy but I only know of 1 Wendy. He wouldn't._

"_Wendy as in crow eater, 'I'll suck any and all dicks if you just pay attention to me or get me some crank' Wendy?" _

_He just looks at me, and I can see him getting pissed. "What the fuck, you don't even know her." When i scoff he gets even more pissed. "How the fuck would you know, it's not like your around to see what anyone does"_

_Now I'm seething fucking pissed at how much of a prick he is. "OF FUCKING COURSE I'M NOT AROUND TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE DO," I can feel my face go up in flames with my anger, as the rest of my body goes numb with my rage. "IF YOU DON'T FUCKING RECALL, LET ME HELP YOU OUT BROTHER." I sneered at him. _

"_I'M HERE," I gesture around with my hands, and realize I'm standing up. "IN THIS LOVELY SHIT HOLE BECAUSE OF YOU NOT THINKING WITH THE RIGHT HEAD!"_

"_I,"_

_But I cut him off. "SERIOUSLY? I MEAN FUCKING SERIOUSLY JACKSON? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? SHE'S DISCUSTING, AND WORTH LESS THAN A PIECE OF DOG SHIT! TO FUCK HER YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR DAMN MIND, BUT THEN YOU GO AND MARRY HER?" here I realize that the guards are trying to pull me back, but I'm still chained to the floor._

"_You don't know anything about this," he says getting louder with each word. "and I don't GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, I ONLY CAME TO TELL YOU, NOT FOR YOUR OPINIONS!" we're face to face, the table between us, but only about 2 inches separating our faces. "YOU WOULD THINK THAT CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU GOT INVOLVED IN MY SHIT THAT YOU'D KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT."_

_I completely lost it, all I saw was RED. I tried to jump over the table at him, when that didn't work. _

"Last time_" I sneer, "a group of _junkie whores_ jumped me cause I _stopped_ them from getting pregnant with my nieces or nephews! _Soooooo fuckin excuse me_, I didn't realize you wanted a bunch of little Teller bastards running around. But if you wanna be miserable for the rest of your life _by all means_ keep thinking wit your dick instead of you brain! Just…. Just keep it _all the fuck _away from me! I'm _though_ wit this shit, putting up with _arrogant Jax_ just cause one day he'll be king! I won't _call_, I won't _write_, Hell I won't even _ask_ bout you. When you decide to grow the fuck up, and _man_ up MAYBE, just maybe then I'll _consider_ talking to you!"_

_I looked down to see my arms all bloody, and then the guards pulled me away. I was locked in solitary for 2 weeks, every time someone came to take me back I snapped at them. _

No one knew what happened exactly, just that I didn't want to hear anything to do with Jax.

"Hey, you a'ight?" I jump when I feel a hand touch my face.

"Why does everyone keep askin me that?" I say pushing him away and jumping back.

He frowns, "I don't know bout them, but you just completely zoned out on me. Are you though?"

"Am I what?"

"Shit, why don't you sit down or something'." _Since when am I standing? _I sit down at Jax's urging. Looking closely at him I can't place his expression.

He's just staring at me now, a weird look on his face like he's trying to figure out a puzzle without all the pieces. His eyes keep running over my face, analyzing me. I've never seen him look like this before.

_He's worried about me_

"Your worried about me? Like genuinely worried?" when he nods, "well that's a first."

He steps back like I slapped him. "Of course I'm worried bout you. You're my baby sis, I'm always worried bout you."

"Sure," Just then Tig pops his head in and cuts me off.

"Hey Pip," he stops and looks disappointed. "Damn I missed the shower." He says lowly, staring at my robe like he's trying to see through it.

"Tig, what the fuck man?" _First worried, now getting mad at Tig for bein Tig? Whats goin on with Jax?_

Tig shakes his head. "Right, Mac we gotta run, something just came up. Clay told me to let ya know that Gemma should be here soon. And to give you this," he hands me a cell phone and big bag. "Everyone's numbers are all in there for ya, feel free to call." He says coming over to hug me, he tugs on my towel and it pulls free. My hair falling in damp waves around me. He sniffs, makes a little noise, and whispers, "Call anytime Mac"

"See ya" is all I can manage. I have to actually shake my self back from the oddness that is Tig. Pulling out the contents of the bag, first is a medium sized box, the next is a small box. I shrug and throw the now empty bag, to look at the boxes; A fucking Ipod and dock are in my hands. There's a note attached to the Ipod.

'_Princess, no worries, fell off the back of a truck. Dad'_

I shake my head, "this is totally unnecessary."

"Music is your anchor Mac, it is necessary." I jump having forgot Jax was still there. He hugs and kisses me on the cheek. "I'm glad to have you back even if you don't want me around"

" I…" but he was already gone. Left truly alone for the first time in 6 years my eyes immediately go to the picture frame. My body following automatically.

In the cute little pink frame is a picture of an excited little girl, with her mom and dad. They're outside on a picnic bench, the little girl with her tiny hand on her mothers forearm next to a tattoo of a black crow holding a shamrock in the beak, and a name clutched in its talons, the sun glinting off of her wedding ring just a few inches below. The mother having just put a white flower in her daughter's identical auburn hair, as dad looks on with a expression of pure love and relaxation on his face, beautiful caring blue eyes matching his daughters, shine at the camera with unparalleled happiness.

Looking at this picture you'd never know this was the last time that family would be together.

I drop to my knees staring at the photo.

I can't keep the tears in anymore.

A/N Sorry for all the notifications, I'm new to this, and was having issues. Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- This chapter is a roller coaster ride of emotions, but I found it necessary. There are references to violence in this chapter.

While writing the beginning of this chapter I listened to 'Running up that hill' by Placebo. I think it fits the situation pretty well.

There's a link for pictures on my profile.

I own nothing you recognize, but I wish I owned a couple of Sons!

*~* Chapter 3*~*

_Trapped inside my own head. _

_In memories that I can't move past._

_I'm acutely aware that I'm shaking, on my knees, and clutching a picture. With tears streaming down my face, and struggling for breath. But I'm locked in, unable to stop anything and everything. I can hear someone's voice over the voices in head. I just can't relate who it is. It feels like my brain is quick sand, and my words are slowly suffocating. _

_Shaking harder, and gasping like a fish out of water. "Ccc….I……Ccc… an't….." I whimper. The person touches my arm, and I throw myself back violently. I curl into a ball, trying to hold my self together tightly. I hear the voice say something again and then it's gone._

_But I'm not alone, my head is packed full of soul shattering violence. Mocking voices telling me to beg. The copper and tangy smell of blood, saturating the summer air, staining it's purity. Heaviness like I've never experienced pressing down on me. The feel of something digging into my back, and stealing my warmth. Hands grabbing at my arms and legs, bruising in their strength. Swimming in a sea of red, with waves that keep lapping and slicing into my heart._

_Butchering my innocence._

Still trapped in my own personal hell, I have no way of knowing where I am or how long I've been there. I hear something, but my eyes won't open. The voice keeps going, unrecognizable words coming to me from a distance, gently spoken. The pure care with which their spoken helps break through to reach me.

"Mac, it's ok. Yer ok, Open yer eyes for me sweetheart." Keeps being repeated over and over. I fight with my eyes to listen to the present, and stop the past from taking over.

_No one can hold you down. _

_You're strong now._

_What happened to not letting cowards keep their power from their graves._ With that my eyes reluctantly open.

I instantly see Chibs lying flat on his back, a few feet away from me, the sun shining on his Cut. "Aye, there ya are love." He gives me a small smile, keeping eye contact with me "Just breathe for me. Slow, steady deep breaths. Yer doin great Mac, everything's just fine."

Listening to Chibs I breathe nice and slowly for a bit. Then never taking my eyes off his, I slowly uncurl my body from the fetal position, so I'm just laying on my side facing him. He doesn't move except to nod encouragement at me. Moving slower than any person ever has, I start scooting my way towards Chibs. Never once looking away from his light green eyes. When I finally get close enough to him, I burrow myself into his side, inhaling his smell of grease, cigarettes, and scotch, breathing deeply my whole body slowly relaxes even more. Once he can tell I'm in better shape, he slowly moves his arms around me, and it's like a dam breaks, unleashing more tears than I knew I had in me.

I wake up feeling completely disoriented, and like I've been hit by a train. I feel strong arms around me, _not like it's the first time I've woken up with some random guy and feeling completely out of it. _When I look down I see Chibs sleeping while holding on to me like I'm going to drift away. I look around to get my bearings. We're in my bedroom on the floor, with a blanket covering us, and it looks to be late day or early evening. Then it all comes back;

The Tears

The Pain

The Panic

The Suffocation

_Oh shit I had a panic attack. _I haven't had one in years, since before prison even. Chibs has always been my go to guy for pretty much anything. Having been my mom's closest friend for so many years, he carried that friendship right on to me. When push comes to shove he doesn't sugar coat shit like most of the guys do, he just lays it out plain and simple.

Wondering what time it is I crane my neck for a clock, not seeing one I try to wiggle my way free from Chibs' hold. It's not easy but I manage it getting far enough away from him that I stand and go into the bathroom. I look extremely pale, and my eyes are all red and puffy.

"Feelin better honey?" I whirl around to face Gemma. "I came into see you as soon as I got home and found you. It's been too long." she said hugging me. Pulling back she looks at my face, "We're all worried about you."

"My eyes are puffy." Is all I say, not sure what to say, and not wanting to lie to Gemma.

She smiles, "Let me help you out, baby." She says taking my hand and silently pulling me to her and my dad's room. Everything in their room is different; wall color, curtains, bed, rug, and dressers. She sits me at her vanity, and starts going through her drawers.

"Thank you for the clothes and everything you bought for me." She just smiles at me, and waves my thanks off.

"From what I hear," she says looking at my robe clad body. "You got quite a body under that robe, making guys crazy enough to risk death from your dad, for just a kiss." She finds some type of cream and starts putting it around my eyes.

I sigh and roll my eyes, pulling at my robe.

Inspecting her work, she nods. "Why don't you go throw some clothes on and then we can have a little chat."

"A'ight I'll be back in a minute." I stop my walk to the door, and go back over to her. "I really do appreciate all of it, Gem." I say hugging her.

"Anything you want or need, you don't hesitate. Just come to me and I'm there for you. That'll never change, ok babygirl." She says hugging me back, when she feels me nod she lets go.

I run to my room, and stop when I see Chibs is sitting on the floor looking half asleep. He lifts his head to me.

"Feelin' better I see."

"Thank you" I shyly say, embarrassed that I'm almost 22 and can't calm myself down enough to know what's real and what's not. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything important you were doin'." He stands up and comes over to me.

"Mac ya know I'd do anythin for ya." Noticing that I'm still a little raw emotionally he grabs my face in his hands. "Now where the hell is Mackenzi Morrow huh? I hear she takes no bullshit and would snap yer neck for lookin at her family wrong." he says jovially.

"I'm here, and you know I would"

"Nah can't be the same Mac. Cause the Mac I know and love, she doesn't run around in robes that look like their made for a 600 pound man."

I laugh, "Don't hate on the robe, its comfy! And I was about to get dressed when I came in here but there was this crazy Scotsmen on my floor."

He laughs, "_Comfy…._Comfy ya say?" he laughs harder when I stick my tongue out at him. "Mac's a real bad ass ya know? I once saw her beat Tig's ass," he looks around then whispers, "and she was only 9 at the time!"

I bust out laughing harder than I have in what seems like forever. When I was 9, Tig after watching me practice fight with Chibs and Jax decided he wanted to join us. Then started talking shit to Chibs and Jax and told them to get out of the ring, so he could teach me some "important skills in a fight."

What I learned was to not drink and be too cocky in a fight. It all started out well, then he got pissed and tried to show me up. Show up a 9 year old, yeah Tig's an asshole, but I wouldn't expect anything else from good ol' Tigger.

So when he came charging at me, I side stepped him and jumped on his back. Laughing the whole time. When I landed on his back he tripped and fell. At Chib's urging I use some of what he taught me. I ended up with Tig in a headlock, which wasn't effective but he was shocked and Chibs counted Tig down.

Looking at Chibs still laughing, I see him smiling and then get a mischievous expression on his face. I cock my head at him, and raise my eyebrow. Next thing I know I'm flying threw the air, the only thing I have time for is a squeak before I land on my bed. I giggle and look at him.

"Now that yer back, put some clothes on already!" When I nod, he nods back and walks out of the room.

While searching the drawers I find one of Jax's old shirts that I stole from him. It's

a faded navy blue t-shirt that says 'Reaper Crew' in white across the front. I throw that shirt on with a pair of regular denim jeans. Then head into the bathroom and dive into the rat's nest that is my hair. After getting a hair tie for my wrist, I head back to Gemma.

I find her standing by her bird's cage stroking his feathers, looking more relaxed than she was earlier. "I heard some giggling," she says looking at me.

"Who needs Xanax when you have Chibs around?" She just nods her understanding.

I follow her direction and sit on the bed next to her

"We were all set to have a party tonight," I groan thinking of how shitty I feel right now, and she turns her head to me. "I moved the time, a lot has happened today, so its tomorrow night after church."

"It doesn't have to be anything to big Gem. Just me, you and the guys is good." At this she scoffs. "What? You said yourself lots of shit has happened today. I appreciate it, I really do it's just not that big a deal when you think about it."

"Not that big a deal? Mac you were in jail for 6 years. We got a lot to make up for."

I shake my head. "Gemma theres nothing to make up for." Gemma shakes her head now.

"You spent 5 birthdays in there. And some pretty important ones at that. Your sweet sixteenth" I snort. "Your eighteenth, and your twenty-first. You know damn well we would've done it up big each and every time! If it makes you feel better you can just pretend that this party is for all your birthdays, and a welcome home party all rolled into one"

"Gemma, I don't want too much shit goin on. I don't wanna play little miss party hostess. I just wanna hang with the guys, drink, and dance, shoot some pool, maybe play a bit a poker. Just have a all around good time, with no worries ok?" I look into her eyes.

"One condition."

I shrug "Name it"

"Tomorrow we" she motions between the two of us. "Go shopping,"

"You just bought me a shit load of clothes,Gemma I don't need anything else!"

"Actually you do."

"I seriously _don't_ need anything else."

"Oh? You plannin on runnin around with no bra and panties on then?"

"Uhh… what?"

"I didn't know what types of bras and panties you'd want; colors, materials, styles. Let alone the size. You have a whole different body than when you were 15, you had nice boobs then but now you have a huge rack." She motions at them.

I nod, looking down my 5'6 body. "It was like my hips and ass decided it was time to pop out more. Then next thing I know all my shirts were too tight."

She nods, "You just get use to your body being one way, then puberty decides to get off it's ass and finish the job."

"Exactly. Wait a minute, there are bra and panty sets in my dresser." I say eyeing her.

She smiles at me. "I may have bought a few sets for you just in case."

"Sneaky obsessive shoppin addicted bitch!" I say laughing

"You know it honey, now about tomorrow,"

I interrupt her. "I never agreed to anything," smiling at her. "How bout this. Party tomorrow night how I described, we go have girlie time before, and we have a family dinner really soon. Deal?" I stick my hand out.

"Deal." she shakes my hand smiling.

My stomach growls just then. "Ok that sounded pretty serious," she points to my stomach. "Let's get some food before your stomach eats you alive." I laugh.

We stand up to leave again, when Gemma links her arm threw mine, "I didn't agree that this would be the only party."

"Shit!" I say and we both dissolve into laughter. I stop in front of my room and run in to grab my Ipod, then we go down the stairs. Just when we reach the bottom we hear the door bell ring.

"What the fuck are you doin here?" We hear my Dad say.

Gemma looks at me and whispers "See what that little body has provoked!" I shake my head at her, when I hear Juice answer my dad.

"I came to see if Mac was a'ight, I called but no one would tell me shit."

"I wonder if it has anything to do with you molesting her earlier." Tig says. I separate my and Gemma's linked arms.

"I didn't," Juice starts but I round the corner just in time, as my dad moves into Juice's face.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I say casually slipping in front of Juice. "I could use some help figuring this thing out." I say holding up the Ipod.

"I'll help you." Juice says instantly, my Dad growls and leans forward. "I mean if that's ok with you Mac?"

"Sure Juicy come on in." I say pulling him into the living room. "And join the party?" Everyone's in the living room; Chibs, Gemma, Jax, Opie, Bobby, Piney, and even the prospect Half-Sackis there. Everyone stops what they were doing to look at me.

_Gotta stop this shit now._

"Everyone come in here for a minute." Once everyone's paying attention, "I love each and every one of ya, but the next person that asks me if 'I'm ok' im gonna beat their ass." I stare at everyone in turn, when they nod, "So you can take the kid gloves off, now what are we eatin? I'm starving!"

"Your pick baby girl" Gemma says. "Anything you want"

"A extra large ham and pineapple pizza, with extra pineapple!" I say instantly, and everyone just looks at me taken back, "What? Get whatever ya want but I want that damn pizza!"

While everyone was trying to figure out what they wanted on their pizza, I sat down and watched them. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. After all the shit we have gone though, we all can still sit with each other, and let loose.

"Mac, I gotta get going, dinner with Donna and the kids."

"Sure Op, I'll walk out with you." I stand and head out the door. Once outside, I stand next to Opie's bike caressing the 'S.O.A' lettering and surrounding skulls.

"What's…" I clear my throat and ask quietly, "How are you doin?"

"It was a little overwhelming at first, still can be sometimes. But once I got back to doin the shit I was use to before…." He sighs, "Look Mac, you ask any of the guys in there, and they'll probably tell you something totally different but the important thing is…." He sighs again and lifts my chin with his fingers, looking deep in my eyes.

"The important thing is to be you. Don't let just gettin out effect everything you do. You know better than anyone what its like to have someone else hold power over you. And it fuckin blows right?" I nod

"Will it impact how you look at some shit? Or how you feel about certain things? Yeah. But you can't let the fact that you haven't been here for a few years stop you from bustin Tig's balls, or holdin your own against Jax." He gives me an encouraging look.

"You don't gotta pretend that it's all good, you'll have shitty days where you just wanna beat someone's ass. You'll have days where you're on cloud nine smiling all day. You wanna dye your hair green? You feel like makin out with Juice? Havin a little shootin practice? Sleepin all damn day? Wanna crack jokes? Be serious? Anything you want. If it feels right to you then, it's right for you."

"I,"

"Mac, we all love you for you. I mean you're the most crazy bitch I've ever known. But I wouldn't have you any other way, and neither would anyone in that house." He kisses me on the cheek and then his bike's roaring down the street.

Taking in what Opie said to me, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me.

I know who I am, despite missing out on what most people say is 'an essential life experience.' What's the life experience that's so necessary? Prom? I couldn't care less. Best friends stabbing each other in the back for a guy who is only using them? Seen it. Graduation? I did the work, got the piece of paper, and didn't have to wear an ugly ass gown and stupid hat.

I'm the girl who when you see my face you mistake me for an innocent little flamingo. But when you look at my eyes you see a lioness ready to cut your throat with her claws for getting to close to her cubs.

I'm the girl you never want to face because there isn't a damn thing I wouldn't do for those I care for. I can come across as quiet and shy. I'm neither. I have no issues with getting in anyone's face and speaking my mind.

I'm the girl who's seen some horrendous shit that most couldn't even see in their nightmares. I use to have panic attacks when anyone touched me. I did drugs at a young age. I stole liquor and drank to bury my self.

But _I own me, no one else does._

"Hey what's takin so long out here Princess." I turn to my dad standing at the door and run up and hug him. "What happened?" he says while rubbing my face with his hands.

It's then that I realize I have tears on my cheeks, but despite my meltdown earlier, I feel amazingly good.

"All I wanted to know was how he was doin, and I got an after school special."

"You learn anything useful?"

"Oh yeah, the lesson finally sunk in. So wheres my food old man?" I ask while we walk back to everyone.

"Prospect's bout to go pick it all up in a few."

"Good," I turn to Half-Sack. "Can we go now, I need to go somewhere first."

"Uh, um yeah sure if you want."

"Did ya hear that he actually talked to me this time!" I say to all the guys. Turning back to Half-Sack, "be right back then we leave." I run up the stairs to my room and grab the money I took from Tig earlier _$400 nice!_ Putting it in my pocket while I run down the stairs.

"A'ight Half-Sack lets move it" we leave getting into the black van.

"So, uh where do you need to go?"

"Sutter's Ink" I say and smile _Time to resurrect myself a tiny bit_

"Is that gonna be ok with your dad?" he says looking terrified.

"My dad does not control me. Besides I'll be 22 in a few weeks, grown ass adult female sitting next to you here!"

We pulled up in front of 'Sutter Ink' the local tattoo parlor I use to hang around when I was younger. I hop out of the car, Looking up I see the red and white skull and smile. Going inside I'm greeted with the smell of antiseptic and ink. Freddie comes over to greet us having heard the bell. When he spots me he does a double take.

"Mac? That really you? He says shocked

"Yupp Freddie, look I'd love to catch up but" I look over at Half-Sack who looks like he might puke. "We got some time sensitive shit to do after this."

He nods "I got ya Mac, so what can I help you wit?"

"I 'm feeling a little naked here." I say motioning towards my face.

Freddie smiles, "I know how you feel, lets get you back to feeling clothed a'ight? Yo Kim?" he yells and a pretty girl comes over to us He leans in and whispers some stuff to her, while I check on Half Sack. _Still pale_ I shake my head.

"So the nose, tongue and industrials right?" Freddie says

I shake my head no, and swipe my hand over the areas I want pierced. First I touch my nose, then stick my tongue out. Rub the tops of both my ears, point to my belly button then my nipples.

"What the fuck?" Half-Sack says. "No way your dad will kill me"

I roll my eyes at him. "One I'm an adult, Two I've had my nose, tongue and industrials pierced before. Three I had plans to get my belly button pierced when I turned 16, since I was a little busy I never got to it. And four he knows damn well you couldn't stop me even if you tried." I pat his hand and turn back to Freddie and Kim. "Where too?"

"Follow me" Kim says. She leads me back to a jewelry case and I pick out what I want for my industrials, 2 titanium blue barbells. For my nipple rings I pick out 2 identical little barbells with a tiny chain hanging a small star. The other jewelry is all the standard issue for piercing, titanium; nose ring, barbell for my tongue, and little hoop for my belly button.

None of the piercing hurt except the nipples and it wasn't that bad just a pinch and burning. She hooks me up with piercing cleaner and after care instructions and goes over them with me. I walk out of the back room to find Half-Sack pacing around.

"It's all good Prospect, just calm the fuck down."

I already paid so after a quick goodbye we went to the car to pick the pizza up.

"You know if your gonna make it you cant be so damn bashful bout shit." I tell him, just as a general passing of knowledge.

"I'll work on it" he says

After picking up the pizza we finally get back to the house. I inhale half of my pizza right way, grab a beer and sit down at the table next to Jax, just listening to them all talk. Suddenly the day seems to catch up with me, I slouch in my seat. Then Jax puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls my head on to his chest being careful not to disturb my piercing.

I mutter "Tomorrow is gonna be so much better"

"What…"

A/n-

Ok some people may think that the piercings were out of context or too much too soon. But Mac just came out of a panic attack, and the piercings were her way of reclaiming herself. Owning her body after being trapped inside of it. Does that make any sense? Probably not, whatevs.

Happy is arriving soon I promise….Reviews inspire me to keep writing….


	4. Chapter 4

A/N-

I'm nervous about this chapter, hope everyone likes it!

Big shout out and hugs for Lauren (Bad Company) for putting up with me and my ideas while on vacation.

Link for pictures from this chapter are on my profile.

Warning; if you don't like swearing and smut you really shouldn't be reading this story, or really any story that has to do with SOA.

I own nothing but I'd love to own a few certain Sons!

*~* Chapter 4 *~*

I wake up groaning as soon as I open my eyes, the sun shining brightly in my face. Quickly closing my eyes I try to go back to sleep, tossing, turning, and fighting to get comfortable enough. Discovering that more sleep is a lost cause, I turn my back to the window and open my eyes, and stare at the wall.

I know I wasn't myself last night. I just sat there taking in the fact that I have my life back. I didn't even really talk to anyone and then I passed out. _Today's gonna be different, no dwelling on shit. _I vow to my self and decide to start my day.

When I sit up I see that I'm still in Jax's old shirt. Standing up I trip over my jeans that I vaguely remember fighting to pull off in the night. After making a quick trip to the bathroom, I go straight for the closet, to see everything that Gemma bought for me.

"Jesus she thought of every-fuckin-thing!" I say as soon as I open the doors. Then I start looking though all of the clothes. There are dresses that look form fitting and sexy, and then there are dresses that look girlie and cute. Jeans of different shades, and styles, some with rips and tares, others faded with design. Shirts that are flirty, yet appropriate for a business setting. Skirts some ruffled some flared. I see shorts, and capri's, tank tops and cami's. All these clothes in every color you could possibly imagine.

_She remembered_, I think surprised while running my fingertips over a polka dotted item.

I move to kneel down in the closet, when I notice that there are a bunch of shoe boxes there. Opening the boxes I find various styles of stilettos, in boot form or regular high heels. There are even a few pairs of cute flats. As well as a medium-large sized black leather purse with a metal chain connecting for straps. I'm shocked

I'm not shocked and surprised that she got me more clothes and shoes than are necessary, that's just Gemma. It's because of how on the spot she is with my style. Never one to fit in a certain box, I'm always switching my style up; tomboy one day, the next cute and innocent, the day after that kind sexy and sassy. _I don't see one single thing in here I wouldn't wear._

Moving to the dresser I see that, although she said she didn't buy me any, there are more than enough sets of bras and panties. I smile knowing she just wanted an excuse to go shopping with me. Wondering if she went over board with anything else, I move to the bathroom closet.

Actually paying attention when I open the door this time, I just shake my head. I see a curling iron, hair straightener, and blow-dryer that are all new. But I don't know how I missed all the hair accessories. There's everything from ouchless hair ties, to fake flower hair clips and different color headbands. I decide its time that I put some of these things to use, and take a shower.

When I walk out of my bathroom, drying my hair with a towel, I see a note on my bed stand, so I walk over and pick it up.

'**Breakfast? Lunch? Call me and I'll pick you up'- Juice**

There's an arrow drawn on the paper pointing to my cell phone. I smile, _He's such a dork_ I think while picking my cell up. I flip through the address book, after finding Juice's number hit send, it rings but there is no answer, I'm shutting the phone when I see that its 2:30 in the afternoon.

"Shit!" I say going down the hall in search of Gemma, I quickly find that she's not here. So flipping back through my contacts I find her number and hit send.

She answers, "Hey Mac," I cut her off.

"Gemma, why didn't you wake me up?"

"I would have, but I knew you could use the sleep." she pauses to take a drag of her cigarette. "We can go shopping in the next couple of days. But right now I'm on my way to pick you up so we can get pampered before the party tonight."

"I just got out of the shower I'm not even dressed yet, wait did you say pampered?"

"Just throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, you won't be wearing it for long, the party's after our boys get done with church, maybe 10ish."

"Ok," I say pulling on a pair of khaki capri's. "You talk to any of the guys today?"

"Yeah, some club shit came up, though so their a little busy. I'll see you in a minute" she says and hangs up.

As I'm pulling on a black tank top I hear her come into the house. I run a brush through my hair, then take a pair of black pumps out of their box and slip them on my feet, grab my cell phone, and head down the stairs.

"Why are you rushin?"

"It's been a long time since I've been pampered." I say with excitement.

She nods, looking me over closely. "That's why I set it up so all the treatments would be available for you to choose from."

"Wait I thought we were just getting mani's and pedi's." I say confused

"Nope I set us up for a little spa visit. Figured you could use a good massage."

"Your gonna spoil me with all this shit, you know that right?"

"Honey I thought we would never get to see you again except visiting in that damn room, while you were chained. You went with nothing for 6 years, so when I see something I think you'd like I'm getting it for you." She firmly says to me.

"Ok, so we leavin anytime soon or what?"

"Depends, you eat anything today?" I bite my lip and shake my head no. "Didn't think so, you go find something in the kitchen, while I run upstairs."

I head into the kitchen, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and grab a glass of milk. Just when I'm finished with my lunch, Gemma comes in.

"Ok you ready?" I nod walking to the door, then get in the car. When she pulls out of the drive way, she says.

"You seem better," when I go to speak she holds her hand up. "Yesterday was hard, we all know that, it's understandable. I'm just saying that I'm glad you're more at ease."

I look over at her and say "I just wanna move as much of that shit behind me as I can. I'm trying to live in the day, just go where it takes me ya know?"

She nods and goes to speak when her cell phone rings. I motion for her to answer it. While she talks to Luann, I stare out the window watching as we pass the 'Welcome to Charming' sign.

"So you talk to Juice yet?" she says a few minutes after hanging up the phone.

I sigh, "No, I called him but he didn't answer."

"Did you want him to?" When all I do is shrug, she says. "You leave a message?"

"I'll see him at the party tonight." I say with a shrug.

After driving for a little while we pull up to a two-story house that is surrounded with plants, and has a sign proclaiming 'Carriage House Spa' Once Gemma parks I move to get out of the car but she stops me.

"You're not the least bit interested in him are you?"

I shake my head "No, I…." I pause and take a deep breath. "We're friends ya know?" she nods at me. "Juice is great," I start playing with my hair. "He's sweet and cute, and a good kisser and we always have fun when we hang out. It's just… it's just not there." I bite my lip, not willing to continue.

Gemma reaches over and pats my leg. "It's just that there's no spark." She finishes for me.

I scoff while nodding, "Exactly but it sounds so fuckin cheesy."

"Honey it may sound cheesy, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Think of a relationship like a fire." She pulls her lighter and a cigarette out, demonstrating as she says, "If the spark doesn't catch, then there's no flame and you'll be left out in the cold with nothing." She waves her unlit cigarette at me. "But when the spark catches, and flames ignite, the heat that comes with them will slowly consume you." She says lighting her cigarette, inhaling and gets out of the car.

I follow her out of the car and say, "Why didn't you just say 'if there's no spark then the sex isn't that good'?" I say and we both laugh while walking up the path to the door of the spa.

We stop by the entrance while Gemma finishes her cigarette, and I stare at the spa. Just the outside is peaceful, with all the trees, and flowers, there's even a well in the front yard. It makes me twitch with need for my sketch pad.

"Now do you wanna go in," she motions at the door, then at the well. "Or do you wanna stand out here staring at nature and shit all day?"

I scoff and walk past her, "I'm gonna go get pampered." Looking over my shoulder at her, "You comin in or staring at nature and shit?"

"Cheeky little bitch." She says when she reaches me and laughs.

A little after 6, we emerge feeling rejuvenated. The salt rub, body wraps and massages having completely relaxed us. The facial, manicure and pedicure didn't hurt either. Once we get in the car I turn to Gemma, and say.

"That was fucking _amazing_. Feel free to pamper me when ever you want."

"I do," she says "we should stop and get some dinner." I nod. We make our way into Lodi, and stop at a diner. Sitting down at our table we look over our menus in silence for a minute.

"Gem I really love all the clothes and shoes you got me." I say grateful.

"I'm glad." She says as the waitress comes over to take our orders, after she leaves I take my cell phone out of my pocket and put it on the table.

"You not like the purse though?" when I give her a quizzical look she nods to my cell phone.

"The purse is great, I just don't have anything to put in it yet." I say, and pick the phone up to play with.

"Do you think I could get my old job back at the garage?" I ask.

"I'm counting on it. The office is a mess and it's hard to find good help." She shoots a wink at me.

"I'll start on Monday." I say with a smile

"You know you can wait a while longer if you want." She says as the waitress brings us our food.

"And what, sit around the house alone all day? I want to be back in the thick of it with everyone." She nods at me in understanding as we start eating our food. After we finished our dinner we head back to Charming.

Once back at the house Gemma and I split up to get ready. When I get to my room I immediately head to the closet in search of what to wear tonight. After flipping through the hangers for a little bit I finally choose a dress. And try it on to see if I want to wear it tonight.

_Perfect, I've got a good feelin about tonight, _I think when I look in the mirror, and do a little twirl to check myself out.

The dress is short, like upper thigh barely covers my ass short. It's white, with a scoop neckline that has a necklace attached and clings to my every curve. Except for the sleeves, their loose and when I lift my arms they flare out like wings.

Going back over to my closet I grab a pair of white sling back heels with black above the open toe. Moving into the bathroom I stare at my hair, after debating with my self I decide to leave it down as it is but curl the ends a little bit.

"Damn sweetheart, your father will not be in a good mood tonight." I turn to face Gemma

"What? What happened?" I say starting to panic.

She just waves it off. "Honey you're smokin hot, and you know how your dad gets."

"He will just have to deal with it, I ain't changing." I say as I lift my chin.

"I'm not telling you to. You're young you wear whatever you want, but tonight is gonna be interesting." She says smiling at me.

"I have a really good feeling about tonight actually." I say smiling back at her. "Can we leave for the clubhouse now?"

She looks at her watch, "Well its quarter after 8, and everyone isn't set to be there until after 10."

"You know I don't give a shit about anyone else being there except for you and the guys."

"Yeah, we could head over now, get a drink before everyone arrives." Gemma says while

I nod and start moving around my room with my purse in hand.

"What are you doing?" she asks me

"I'm putting anything I'll need in the morning in my bag. I plan on getting fucked up tonight." I say picking up a bottle of aspirin and throwing it in my purse. "Bra, panties, sketch pad, pencils, aspirin, tooth brush and tooth paste, Ipod, hair tie…. What am I forgetting?"

"You got your cell phone?" she asks

"Yupp, well it doesn't matter lets just go." She nods and I follow her out of the house to her car, then we head to Teller-Morrow.

As soon as Gemma parks, I get out of the car and head to the clubhouse. When I open the door the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and man hits me in the face, and all I can do is smile. _Not big on change these guys._ I think while looking around, it smells and looks the same as it always has, except the pool table looks kind of new.

There's no one around which is surprising, and the chapel door is wide open. _Must be in the garage_, I think while I walk over to the bar. I turn around to ask Gemma what she wants to drink but she's not there. I shrug and put my purse down on a stool and sit next to it, and pour myself a glass of Jack, _Ahh it burns so good._

The silence starts to creep me out so I get up to put some music on. I see that there is something else new here after all, instead of an old stereo there's a full on sound system that has an Ipod dock. I put my Ipod in, and pick the first song on the list without even looking.

It takes a minute to connect with the speakers and by the time it does, I'm just about to sit down. The music is so loud that when 'Addicted to Love' by Robert Palmer starts I jump and knock my purse on the floor, spilling all the contents all over the place, and see the aspirin bottle break open.

Crouching down to pick my stuff up I move my body to the music and sing along. When I turn to get the items that fell behind me, I smack my head into something very solid.

"Motherfucker!" I say, as I almost fall over. I grab on to the solid object, only to realize it's not an object but a pair of jean clad legs. I open my eyes, and blink seeing that I'm face to crotch with who ever this is.

"I don't do red heads." I hear a deep, raspy voice rumble at me.

I shiver, _damn that's the sexiest voice I've ever heard._

Slowly looking up his long legs, I see tattoo covered arms, attached to a tall body that is muscular but not heavily so. I notice his cut says Tacoma, and keep looking until I reach his face. I see smooth tan skin and full lips that I instantly want to lick, suck and bite. I bite my own lip to keep from lunging at his, and take in the rest of his face but freeze as my blue eyes meet his dark brown ones.

I can't seem to look away and he doesn't seem to be able to either. _This is one badass motherfucker, _I think to myself. I can actually feel the waves of raw power wash over me. He's like lightening in a bottle, gorgeous, rough, and dangerous.

I hear a door open somewhere and he blinks breaking eye contact with me. Then I hear that sexy voice again.

"I said I don't do red heads." This time it actually registers what he said.

Pissed off, I slowly pull my body up along side his, just barely brushing against him, and set my purse on the bar. He narrows his eyes at me.

"You don't belong here." He says. _Oh the things I would love to hear that voice say to me._ I shake myself out of it and scoff at him

"I'd say you're the one that doesn't belong here Sweetie." And tap his patch that says 'Tacoma'. I turn to walk away and he grabs my arm.

"What were you doin in here?" he asks.

But I'm too shocked to answer him, _ over here just grabbed me unexpectedly and I didn't even flinch_.

Clearly frustrated that I didn't answer him, he pulls me into him and says, "Answer me Strawberry, what were you doin in here?"

"Strawberry?" I ask, but he doesn't say anything just keeps staring at me. "I was just getting a drink, Cupcake." I say with a smile.

"Don't call me Cupcake." He growls at me while tighten his hold on my arm.

I smirk and am about to reply when an arm drapes across my shoulders. But I don't take my eyes off Cupcake.

"Why, what's wrong with Cupcake? You want me to call you cookie instead?" Before he has time to do more than growl at me, I hear.

"Hey love, yer early." Chibs says and starts rubbing my arm above where it's being held, when Cupcake doesn't let me go.

"Yeah, I needed a drink." I say staring straight at Cupcake. "Still do actually."

"You were going though shit when I came in." Cupcake says.

"I turned on some music, fuckin sue me already!" I say glaring at Cupcake.

"What's the lady drinkin?" I hear some guy say. I don't say anything and hear Chibs and this mystery guy talk to each other.

Cupcake still has a strong grip on me and it's making it hard for me to focus on anything other than how amazing his hands would feel all over my body. _Or ripping my clothes off_, I shudder and he notices.

He cocks his eyebrow, smirks and leans in close to me and says, "I told you I don't do red heads."

_Fuck he smells fantastic, like cinnamon and leather. _I think, and then notice that I'm leaning into him, I pull back. "Really then why do you keep touchin me Cupcake?" I say nodding towards his hand.

He frowns when he sees that he's still holding on to me, but doesn't say anything just drops his hand. I immediately regret bringing it up, but decide to keep fucking with him for being an asshole.

I cock my head to the side and slowly look him up and down, while biting my lip I think, _To bad he lives in Tacoma, he looks like fun._ Leaning in close, so that our faces are only inches apart I say, "It's for the best, I don't think you could handle me, Cupcake."

I smirk, grab my purse and start to walk away when I hear mystery guy say, "Damn I think I'm in love."

Just as I get out the door, I see Gemma and my Dad coming over from the garage. Gemma gives me a questioning look and I just shake my head and laugh. My laugh's a little breathless, from Cupcake being so goddamn sexy. And she narrows her eyes at me, but I just shake my head.

"Mackenzi, what the fuck are you wearing?" I snap my head in my Dad's direction, and give him an innocent look.

"Daddy," he cuts me off.

"Don't try that sweet shit on me. You can't wear shit like that with all these fuckin guys around."

I quirk an eyebrow. "Why the fuck not? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Well it's to fuckin tight," he says pointing at my dress. "It barely covers your ass and your…" he points at my chest.

"My what, Dad? My tits? What about 'em?" I say looking down. "Their covered, you can't see threw the dress, what's the problem?"

"You know damn well what the problem is." He says.

"Guys will look at her no matter what she's wearin, Clay." Gemma says.

Just then Juice, Tig, and Jax come walking over. Tig whistles and Juice's jaw drops.

"What the fuck are you wearin?" Jax says.

"It's called a fuckin dress, asshole!" I say and walk back to the clubhouse, hoping to avoid getting in a bad mood.

Once back inside I see Chibs talking to some guy with blonde hair by the couch, and Opie, Piney and Bobby sitting around a table. I don't see Cupcake and it makes me frown. I head straight for the bar, grab the Jack and take a big swig from the bottle.

"Isn't that a lot for you to drink?" I whip my head around to the sexiest voice ever spoken, and just stare at him. He's leaning against the bar maybe four feet away from me.

"Stalkin me now Cupcake?" I ask and take another drink from the bottle of Jack.

"Keep drinkin like that and you'll be passed out on the floor soon." He says completely ignoring my question.

"It's so sweet of you to be worried about me Cupcake, but what makes you think I'll be passing out anytime soon?"

"Your small." is all he says

I stand up and motion down my body and cock my eyebrow, "I'm not small, Do I look small to you?" I ask and turn around in a slow circle.

"Yeah you do Strawberry." Just when I'm about to ask him about calling me strawberry my dad comes in.

"Get your asses in the chapel, we got a party taking place here soon." And with that all the guys go in the chapel and shut the door. Gemma comes over to me.

"I talked to your Dad and Jax, told them to let you have tonight."

"Thanks Gem." I say dancing in my seat to the music from my Ipod, which thanks to Juice got a shit load of music put on it. When "La Grange" from ZZ Top comes on I jump out of my seat, still holding the bottle of Jack and start dancing, I motion for Gemma to come join me but she just shakes her head no. I shrug and get lost in a one girl-one bottle of Jack dance party.

"What the fuck?" I shout sometime later, when someone shuts the music off, I turn and see my Dad by my Ipod, and all the guys standing there looking at me. "I was listening to that!"

"Yeah, yeah .Mac this is Kozik and Happy from the Tacoma Charter, their staying here for a few days." He says pointing first at the blonde guy from earlier, and then Cupcake. "Hap, Koz, this is my daughter Mackenzi," he gestures at me then turns and looks at all the guys. "Keep your dicks away from her, I mean it, _all _of you." He says glaring extra hard at Juice.

I'm watching Cupcake, err Happy the whole time and he's watching me. When my dad introduces me as his daughter, Happy cocks his head to the side with a look of surprise on his face, but it's only there for a second. When my dad glares at Juice, I see Happy narrow his eyes.

"Hey, just call me Mac." I say with a little wave. "Dad, what the fuck? How can we party without any of their dicks getting near me?" I go for mock seriousness but just end up laughing.

"Mac I'm serious."

I just roll my eyes, "Can you turn the music back on then?"

When he does, I go back to dancing. I act like I'm not paying attention to anyone, but I'm fixated on Happy. _He is so a cupcake, _I think to myself, _delicious and_ _tempting, I just wanna lick him._

After dancing for a while I go over to Bobby, "Did you bring me some weed like I asked?"

"Of course I did." He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a joint, and hands it to me.

"Thanks Bobby" I say and kiss him on the cheek. I look around the room for my Happy fix, but don't see him. So I decide to just go outside to smoke in peace, and get my fix later.

I walk out the clubhouse door into the cool night air, and head towards the picnic table, hidden near the side of the garage. When I sit down on the top of the table I realize I don't have a lighter, so I sigh and lay down across the table and look up at the stars, rolling the joint lightly between my fingers.

"Need a light?" I jump when I hear Happy's voice break the silence.

I look over to see him leaning against the side of the garage drinking a beer. _How the hell did I miss him standing there?_

"What are you doin out here Cupcake?" I ask as he moves closer to me.

"Just getting some air." He says holding the lighter up, I put the joint in my mouth and inhale, holding it in for a minute then blowing it out.

I take another hit and hold the joint up in offering to him, which he accepts. After taking a few hits while staring at me, he passes it back and asks.

"Why didn't you say you were Clay's daughter?"

I pass it back to him, "Why, does it matter?" I ask sitting up.

He inhales talking though the smoke, "No."

We pass the joint back and forth, while he stands in front of me and we just keep staring at each other. While Happy's taking a hit, I grab his beer and finish the rest of it.

"I didn't say you could have any of my beer, did I Strawberry?" he asks stepping closer to me

I shake my head, "Why do you keep callin me that?"

"What, Strawberry?" he says, pressing up against my legs. I can feel the rumble of his raspy voice go up my legs, straight into my panties. All I can manage is a nod while looking up into his eyes.

Putting his face near my ear he whispers, "You smell like strawberries." He sniffs my hair and growls "fuckin delicious" and I whimper in response.

He pulls back to look at me and I shiver when I see pure lust in his eyes. I instinctively open my legs, to get him closer to me, and he moves in flush with me. I gasp as I feel his erection against me. He runs his fingers down the side of my face, to the bottom of my chin and tilts my face up, and then he leans down.

As his lips softly touch mine, I throw my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. His hands land on my hips, and pull me almost completely off the table. I run my tongue across his full bottom lip, and then suck it into my mouth causing him to groan. I'm nibbling on his lip when he pulls my upper lip into his mouth, I moan and wrap my legs around his waist.

I bite his lip hard and pull back with it still caught between my teeth, I release his lip and run my tongue over it. His control snaps, he grabs me tighter and pulls me closer while plunging his tongue into my mouth. All I can do is whimper as he runs his hand up and down where my dress meets my leg. I grab his belt buckle, struggling to get it undone with limited space. I finally manage my feat, moving my hand inside his jeans.

"HOLY FUCK!" I hear

Faster than my desire riddled brain can track, Happy spins around and grabs who ever interrupted by the throat and presses them into the wall. I stand on shaky legs and walk over to see who just ruined the best kiss I've ever had. There pinned against the wall by a furious Happy, is a very red faced, completely terrified looking guy, and it takes me a minute to realize who it is.

"Half-Sack what the fuck?"

A/N-

Chapter 5 is about half way done, Reviews keep me writing…..


	5. Chapter 5

A/N-

HUMONGOUS love and shout out to Lauren (Bad Company) for helping me when I got stuck with a few plot points.

This chapter went in a totally different direction than intended, but I like it!

Oh for those wondering when this all takes place, the answer is pre-pilot. I haven't decided but it will probably be 2-3 weeks before the pilot.

WARNING; this chapter contains smutty smuttiness. You have been warned, so if you don't like smut then you shouldn't be reading this.

Ok I am extremely nervous about this chapter. This is my first attempt at true naughty activities, so hopefully you like. Plus its harder to write smut than i originally thought

I own nothing you recognize, I just like to pay homage to the GENIUS that is Kurt Sutter.

.

*~* Chapter 5*~*

Standing there breathless, I wait for Half-Sack to answer me. He looks scared to death and turns pleading eyes to me.

I step closer to Happy, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Happy, why don't you let him go." He doesn't respond, but Half-Sack makes a strangled sound.

"It's just Half-Sack, you can let him go Cupcake." This seems to reach him as he loosens his grip but doesn't remove it. Half-Sack takes a deep breath.

"What the fuck you doin out here?" Happy growls at him.

"I…Clay sent me to find Mac." He gasps out

"You should have just walked away." I say

He gives me an exasperated look. "And tell Clay what?" he says gasping as Happy tightens his hold.

I smirk at Happy, but he doesn't notice just keeps his eyes narrowed on Half-Sack "Tell him you found me, I was fine and told you to go back to the party. Which you should have done, _QUIETLY_" I emphasize.

"What about Juice?" Half-Sack asks

"Juice has nothing to do with this." I tell him.

"But you two kissed." He says confused.

"Jesus I am so fucking sick of everyone questioning me about that kiss! It just happened get the fuck over it already!" I spit at him with so much venom that he flinches back from me into the brick wall.

I'm pacing back and forth behind Happy, trying to stop myself from hitting Half-Sack out of pure frustration, from both, exasperation with this whole Juice situation, and sexual frustration since he interrupted me and Happy.

"You know Clay's gonna be pissed when he finds out right?" Half-Sack says

I'm in his face before I even realize I moved. "Then he just won't find out." I say pointedly.

He gulps, "That's gonna be hard to manage."

"Why the fuck is that?" I spit. "Just keep your fucking mouth shut!"

"I'll keep my mouth shut, but he'll be able to tell what you were doin as soon as he sees you." He says, squeaking when Happy applies more pressure.

I cock my eyebrow. "What the fuck does that mean?" I say completely rethinking my whole 'no hitting the prospect' idea.

"Hap, look at her man." When Happy just continues to glare at him, he tries again. "Just look at her it's obvious."

Slowly, while keeping his hand locked around Half-Sack's throat, Happy turns around and looks at me. I shiver as he slowly runs his eyes over my body, I can feel them like a caress. I bite down on my lip, and hug myself to keep from running to him and wrapping my legs around his waist, Half-Sack be damned.

Happy lets go of Half-Sack, never taking his eyes off me. "He's got a point." Is all he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask smoothing down my dress.

"Your face and lips are all flushed, and your hair is wild." Half-Sack says continuing, "It's obvious." He finishes with a shrug.

"So what? I've been drinking, dancing and smoking. You get flushed when you dance and drink, and out here the wind is blowing in my hair" I explain away as I move toward Happy and buckle his belt back up. I look up at him and smile, "Rain check Cupcake?"

Before he can answer me Half-Sack says, "That's not a smart idea, Clay will be fucking furious."

"He'll get over it." I say still looking up at Happy.

"Yeah he'll get over being mad at you, his Princess. But Happy? I don't think he would." Half-Sack says.

I whip towards Half-Sack, and punch him right in the face. All I hear is a muffled curse come from him as he falls to the ground, holding his eye. I turn back to Happy, who's looking from me to Half-Sack then back at me, silently asking why I hit him.

"He's got a point." I say with a shrug. As i'm turning to leave, Happy grabs me.

"Where you goin Strawberry?" he says holding me in front of him

"To see what the fuck my Dad wants, then getting fucking wasted." I say and pull on my arm, when he doesn't let go. "You really shouldn't be touching me" I tell him.

He cocks his eyebrow "Why the fuck not?"

"The Prospect was right. If my Dad knew anything happened between us, he'd take it all out on you." I say pissed off.

"I can take care of myself, Strawberry." He says.

"But I,"

He pulls me closer to his body. "I can take care of myself," pulling my hair to the side, he licks up the side of my neck, and whispers in my ear, "Strawberry."

I shiver and completely forget everything except what I want Happy to do to me. He pulls back and looks at me, "Let's go get something to drink." I just nod

As we're walking back I see Half-Sack walking back as well, and Happy walks over to talk him. Opening the clubhouse door I'm greeted with music blaring loudly, and cigarette smoke. When I look around for my Dad, I see that it's just SAMCRO, Koz and a few crow eaters in side. I spot my Dad at the bar with Tig and Gemma and walk over.

"Heard you were lookin for me?"

"Where were you?" he asks looking me up and down

"We wanted to let you know we were headed home," Gemma says clearly trying to prevent a fight. "I'm tired and your dad doesn't want me driving by myself. So you'll have to get a ride home. Do you mind us leavin early?"

"It's fine, your tired go get some sleep, don't worry about me. I'll ride with one of the guys, it's no problem." I say knowing Gemma will worry no matter what.

"Holy shit!" Tig says laughing, and nods his head to the door. We all look and see Half-Sack, with a bruised and swollen eye, and blood on his cheek. _I guess I cut him too._

"See? I can take care of myself." I say to my Dad.

"You did that?" Tig asks

"He snuck up on me." I say with a shrug

"Where were you?" my Dad asks again

"I was smoking weed outside." I say

"Why outside? Where you alone?" he asks suspicious

"Because I fuckin wanted to be! I thought I just got out of jail, I didn't know I was transferred, _Warden_" I spit.

"Who were you with?" he asks angrily, inspecting me, all I do is glare at him. "I know it wasn't Juice cause he was here the whole time."

"JUICE AND I ARE JUST _FRIENDS_!" I yell at him

"THEN WHO THE FUCK WERE YOU WITH MACKENZI?" he yells back standing in front of me now.

I take a deep breath trying to calm down. "Who says I was with anyone?" I say, glad that Happy didn't walk in with me.

"I do, I know you weren't outside alone."

"Maybe I was alone. Or maybe I was blowin some guy by the garage. Why does it fucking matter?"

"WHO WERE YOU WITH?" He spits out each word

I step into his face, and sneer. "NONE OF YOUR _FUCKING_ BUSINESS!"

"PROSPECT?" he yells. When Half-Sack comes over my dad asks him, "When you found her, who was she with?"

I hear him gulp as I look around for Happy. He's standing against the wall near the pool table, watching me. I nod my head towards the door, telling him to leave. He raises his eyebrows at me, with what is clearly a 'I can handle myself' look. I sigh and see Chibs is watching this whole exchange, and bite my lip.

_If Half-Sack says anything I'll break his fucking jaw!_

I turn to look at Half-Sack, as soon as I see him I feel bad. He looks conflicted, and scared shitless. He keeps gulping like he's trying to find his voice. He keeps looking around the room, and when he looks over near Happy he tenses and turns back to my Dad, only to flinch.

_I should say something, save the poor prospect, after all it isn't his fault. But I can't give Happy up. No matter what he says about being able to take care of himself and I know damn well he can, but my Dad will flip his fuckin shit! And I refuse to let a make out session, no matter how fuckin awesome come between brothers in this club!_

"I,"

"She was alone, Clay." Half-Sack says.

My mouth drops open, but I quickly close it, glad my Dad was looking at Half-Sack. I look over to Happy and he smiles at me. _Fuck, he's sexy!_ I think. I narrow my eyes at him. _He threatened him. _When Happy sees my eyes narrow he winks at me, and licks his lips. I shiver, _Damn Half-Sack for interrupting us!_

Then I realized what all this means. _Half-Sack is more terrified of Happy, who lives in a different state, than he is of my Dad, who he sees everyday, And holds his future in this club in his hands._

I bite my lip, _Just when I think he can't possibly be sexier, he goes and out badasses a legendary badass._

"You know what I'll do to you for lying?" I hear my Dad say to Half-Sack.

I step in between the two of them, pushing Half-Sack away. "He's not lying, I was alone."

He looks at me. "The Prospect?"

I laugh, "Dad I told you before and I'll tell you again, it's never the prospects that you gotta worry about."

He narrows his eyes at me. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"A guy that's already patched, I know he's gonna be around and that he's trusted by those I love." I say looking around at SAMCRO. "That goes a long way with me."

"Okay Sweetheart, I'll see you tomorrow." Gemma says coming over to hug me.

While hugging her I whisper in her ear, "I know damn well you're not tired. Thank you."

She laughs quietly, "No, I'm not tired. I'm also not stupid either, you smell like leather." She says pulling away and giving me a 'we-will-talk-about-this-later' look. I smirk thinking about why I smell like leather.

"You coming with me or not?" she says turning to my Dad.

He cocks his head to the side and looks around the room, "Tig, I want you to…" he stops, shakes his head and scowls, when he sees Tig looking at my ass. "Chibs keep an eye on Mac for me." He says.

I just smile knowing that Chibs, though protective will pretty much let me do what I want.

My Dad comes over, hugs me and whispers, "Be good Princess."

"Aren't I always?" I say as he pulls back. When he scowls at me, I quickly kiss his cheek, "Love you Daddy."

Gemma shakes her head trying not to laugh, and pulls him away. Then looking over her shoulder she says, "Smart ass. We'll see you tomorrow, Honey." I nod and give a little wave.

Once their out the door and I hear my Dad's bike pull out of the lot, I turn to everyone in the clubhouse. "Who wants to do shots?"

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Jax says

I turn to him, "Yes, I have had enough. I'm an adult, so Stop treating me like a fuckin baby already!"

"It's been a while since..." Jax starts only to get cut off

"Jackie boy, its Mac's party and we're celebratin'" Chibs says

"Exactly we're celebrating! And I'm good, I could totally drink any of you guys under the table." I say

"You up for drinkin me under the table?" Tig says grabbing his crotch.

I roll my eyes, and move behind the bar, "Actually I was thinking of us doin shots until you fall on your ass." I say

Tig cocks his head at me, "You challangin me to a drinkin contest little girl?"

I cock my head back at him, "I am Tigger, but not just you, the more the merrier. They can drink too, or just sit and watch me beat you."

I look around the room at everyone, pausing when I see Happy, "Anyone else want me to drink them under the table?" he just raises his eyebrow, and I smile back.

"I'm up for a drinking contest, beating Tig is just a bonus." I hear mystery guy say and realize mystery guy is Koz.

"You might beat Tig, but you aren't gonna beat me Sweetie." I say to him

He laughs, "Oh I think I can handle you Tiny."

I narrow my eyes, "Why is everyone calling me small and shit?"

"Cause your short" Opie says

"I'm not short, I'm average." I say

"Sweetheart you aren't average." Koz says looking me up and down.

"You aren't getting shit from me, except your ass kicked. Now we drinkin or what? Little ol' me against the two big bad Sergeant at Arms." _This is gonna be fun._ I smirk at them.

"Ya don't know what yer getting into guys." Chibs says

"Oh they'll be fine Chibsy. Pick the poison boys." I say sitting down at the table.

Koz and Tig come over with a bottle of Jack and 3 shot glasses. As they sit down with me, I start pulling my hair up while saying, "We need refs to make sure there's no cheating. Chibs you cool with playin ref?"

"You just want him so he'll help you win." Tig says

"Making excuses already and we haven't even started yet." I say shaking my head. "How about we have 3 refs so it's all fair."

"Sounds good, how about Chibs, Happy, and Bobby." Koz says.

"Fine by me," I say. "What about you Tigger?" he nods.

"No pukin or your out. And ya gotta keep up with everyone." Chibs says to us as the ref's all sit down. Happy sits between me and Koz, Bobby sits between Koz and Tig, and Chibs sits between Tig and I. "agreed?" we all nod and he starts pouring shots.

5 shots in and I'm feeling good. I'm focusing on the music pumping through the speakers and ignoring the guys taunting each other. I'm also focusing on one sexy badass ref who's sitting next to me.

16 shots in, while Koz is taking a bathroom break. 'Suck my Kiss' by Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on .As the verse is ending, I decide to jump up on the bar to sing along and shake my ass.

_Hit me you can't hurt me, suck my kiss.  
Kiss me please pervert me, stick with this  
Is she talking dirty  
Give to me sweet sacred bliss  
Your mouth was made to suck my kiss_

After dancing on the bar for a while, I feel a hand on my leg, and look down to see Happy standing in front of me. I smile at him and dance a little slower. He runs his hand up my leg until he reaches my knee. He hooks his whole arm behind my knee and throws me over his shoulder.

"Great view." I say as I grab his ass. Happy pulls me off his shoulder to stand in front of him.

"Did you just smack my ass?" he says

"Actually I grabbed your ass." I say moving closer to him. I whisper in his ear "Anything else you want me to grab?"

"You know I'll grab you back." He whispers into my ear.

"Oh I'm counting on it, Cupcake." I say, and then bite his ear lobe.

As I walk away I hear him growl and I laugh. When I sit down at the table I look at Koz, "Where the fuck is Tig?"

"He's fuckin some crow eater." He says nodding his head toward the dorms.

I nod and look around. Everyone is either passed out or gone to the dorms, except for Chibs, Happy, Koz, and me. "I see we lost Bobby." I say

"Aye darlin'" Chibs says while watching a brunette walk in from outside.

"Go ahead Chibs." I say to him

"And leave ya alone with these two?' he says motioning towards Koz, and Happy, who's just sitting down next to me.

"I'll be fine," I say. Looking at Koz, "He's gonna throw up soon anyways."

Koz shakes his head at me. "You talk a big game Mac, to bad you can't back that shit up."

"Honey, your goin down." I say to him

Koz smirks and leans forward. "You wanna keep drinkin or you want me to go down?" he says looking down my body. As Koz says this, Happy grabs my leg under the table.

I laugh, "Koz, it isn't gonna happen." I turn towards Chibs. "Chibs go on, it's fine."

After looking back and forth between Happy and me, and then at Koz, Chibs nods and stands up. "Have fun darlin'." He says, kisses me on the forehead, and then he's gone.

Koz continues to hit on me constantly, which is fine by me since Happy has his hand wrapped firmly around my leg, and every time Koz says something flirty to me, Happy runs his hand up my leg a little higher.

After a few more shots I call a bathroom break, it's not that I have to go. It's just that I need space from Happy before I do something that will get him in trouble. The second I shut the door I start pacing.

_Damn Cupcake is a hot ass motherfucker! Ahh those hands of his felt amazing on my leg. I can't wait to feel them on my…_

_Whoa Whoa Whoa. Stop! that can't happen. Dad will kill Happy._

_He doesn't have to know. _ I bite my lip and look in the mirror. "He would know," I mumble to my self. "Gemma would figure it out and eventually Dad would find out."

I pull my hair out of the bun I put it in earlier, and run my fingers through it. "Just stay away from Happy, try to avoid being alone with him, or too close to him." I continue to mumble to my self. "He's irresistibly sexy, and a badass with a voice that could melt even the coldest bitch. But Half-Sack was right, Dad would be extremely pissed if there was anything between me and Happy."

I look my self straight in the eyes in the mirror. "Just don't be alone with him." I nod at my self and pull my hair back up. Taking a deep breath I open the bathroom door.

"What the fuck." I say loudly, when I see Happy standing against the opposite wall. "Are you following me around, Cupcake?"

"Koz wanted me to make sure you didn't puke." He says looking at me

"Well no worries, I'm not even close to puking." I say as I start to walk away.

"It's funny, the whole time you were in there you didn't turn on the water or flush the toilet once." He says, blocking me from leaving.

"Bad bathroom etiquette." I quip, while walking around him.

Once we get to the main room of the clubhouse, I look around and shake my head. The place is a mess, there are empty bottles all over the place, and people passed out on pretty much any available flat surface. I walk over to the table, where Koz has his head resting on his arms.

"You ready to puke yet?" I ask him. When I get no answer, I stand next to him and touch his arm. All he does is mumble something unintelligible and turn his head towards me. I roll my eyes, "Such big strong guys and they all pass out on me."

"I wouldn't pass out on you." Happy says from right behind me.

_Is it just me or did that sound like he meant passing out from something other than alcohol?_ I shake my head at myself.

"Well next time I'll drink you under the table." I say then bite my lip. "I mean we can have a drinking contest." I don't look at him because I know very naughty things will happen if I do.

"You can drink me anytime you want to Strawberry." He growls. My head snaps up and I look at him quickly before fighting myself to look away.

_Shit! Don't lose your focus here. Concentrate! _

"What time is it?" I ask

"Almost 4am." He says, and I can feel him watching me. "Look why don't you take my room, and get some sleep."

This time when I snap my head to look at him I don't look away. "What do you mean?"

"Well if you want me to take you home I can." He says

"I don't have a home." I mumble

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

He watches me, and I can tell by how he's studying me that he heard me. "If you wanna stay here you can have my room, but if you wanna leave I'll take you."

I notice how he doesn't say 'take you home' again, which confirms that he heard me just fine. I bite my lip while still looking at him. If anyone thought I'd be here this late they would have given me a room. But all the rooms are occupied or locked right now except Happy's. I could sleep out here but it's too crowded.

"You sure you don't mind me sleeping in your room?" I ask, not wanting to take up his personal space.

"I wouldn't have said shit if I didn't mean it." He growls at me.

I hold up my hands, "Alright let me get my bag." I say moving behind the bar. Once I have my bag on my shoulder, I turn to Happy. "Ok lead the way."

We make our way through the clubhouse, to the dorms in back. After walking down the long row of doors Happy stops at one, and fishes around in his pocket. Coming up with the key he unlocks the door and opens it widely for me.

I look around at the standard clubhouse dorm room. Bed, dresser, open door that leads to the bathroom, closet, couch. And a bed stand. I sit my purse down on the floor and turn to look at Happy. He's stand half in the door way and half in the hall way.

"What are you doin?" I ask

"Nothing.' He says, staring at me.

I walk over to him. "Hap," I stop myself from saying anything as I stand in front of him.

"I'm gonna sleep in the bar." He says and turns to leave.

I grab his arm, pulling him back. I slowly slide my hand up his arm to his shoulder, and wrap my arm around his neck, pulling his head down I kiss him. Not softly, or gently. But a hungry, desperate, and passionate kiss.

Happy groans and picks me up by my hips. I instantly wrap my legs around his waist, as he shuts the door with his boot and locks it. As Happy's walking us in the direction of the bed, I pull his cut off without breaking the kiss.

When he reaches the bed, Happy pulls me off him and puts me down on the edge. Just as I start to protest he silences me with a searing kiss, and then starts kissing down my neck.

"How is it," he says between kissing and nibbling at my neck. "That after hours of being around everything, you still smell like strawberries."

I just moan at him, completely caught up in how amazing his mouth feels on my neck. He starts running his hands all over my body, and I can't take it anymore, I pull on his shirt until he realizes I want it off. After freeing Happy of his shirt, I pull him to me and start sucking on his tongue, while running my hands across his shoulders and down over his chest.

Once I reach his nipples, I pinch them both, then run my thumbs over them. Hap groans and starts pulling at my dress. I try to pull away from him, but he's reluctant to let me go.

"Cupcake, just a second ok." I say pulling back completely, and he actually lets me.

I stand up, and slowly pull my dress down my body. As soon as I get the dress to my hips, he's on me again. This time he pulls the dress down completely, leaving me standing there in my white lace bra and panty set and heels.

Happy stands back and slowly runs his eyes over my body. "Fuck your hot." He says

I run my eyes over his tattoo covered torso. "So are you." I manage to get out while dying to trace the snake that runs from his chest to his stomach with my tongue.

"Take off your shoes." He says

I immediately kick them off.

"Take your bra off." He says roughly.

I slowly run my hands up my stomach, then around my back to the clasp. After unhooking it, I let the straps to the bra slide down my arms.

"Strawberry." He growls at me in warning. I smile at him and bite my lip, while letting the bra fall completely off me.

"Fuck!" is all I hear as he tackles me to the bed.

He kisses me roughly, our tongues lashing at one another. I'm trying to undo his belt, as he works his way down my neck. When he reaches my chest he looks up at me, and slowly runs his tongue around my nipple.

I moan, grasp his head in my hands, and arch my back for more. He smiles before sucking my whole nipple into his mouth. It burns from the new piercing but it feels fucking phenomenal.

"Cupcake" I moan – whimper at him, never breaking eye contact.

Happy sucks harder and grazes my nipple with his teeth. I gasp and let out a loud whimper, pulling him closer. Instead of continuing he pulls back and stands up.

"What?" is all I can get out though my lust clouded brain.

He smirks at me and starts undoing his belt. I'm completely captivated by him, but As soon as he gets his belt undone, and pulls his jeans and boxers down, I run my eyes down his body.

"Fuck." I breathe out while staring at his huge dick. _I won't be walking normal tomorrow._ I think to myself, as I move to pull my panties off.

"Don't" Happy growls at me. I stop what I'm doing, and look at him confused. "I'll take those off." He says gruffly while standing at the edge of the bed, causing me to shiver.

I sit up a little bit, while still maintaining eye contact, and lick the head of his dick slowly. He groans and grabs my hair pulling me back. He shakes his head, and kisses me.

I pull him closer with one arm around his neck, and spread my legs for him. While my other hand grasps his dick firmly before stroking him slowly. Happy groans, and pulls his mouth away from mine.

"I can't fuckin wait." He says sliding down my body, pausing to lick, suck and bite at my nipples, before pulling my hand off him. He runs his hands over my stomach to my hips, where he grasps my panties and tugs them off me completely. Then he just leans back and looks at my pussy.

"I can't." He says, running his hands up my legs and pulling them farther apart. His eyes meet mine for an instant before he looks back down and licks his lips. I moan at the shear hunger in his gaze.

My moan must have spurred him on, because one second he's by my feet, and the next his face is hovering right above my pussy. I see him lick his lips again, and I can feel his breath on me. He wraps his arm around my back and holds on to my hip before lowering his mouth.

I hear him growl - moan the instant his tongue parts me, and dives right in, circling my clit. I moan back, arching my back, pulling his face farther into me and lifting my hips. He grasps my hip tighter, while grazing his teeth over my clit.

"Happy." I moan arching for more.

"Taste so fuckin good." He growls between swipes of his tongue, and then punctuates this by sucking hard on my clit. I fucking explode instantly, whether it's from his voice, the words, or the actions I don't know nor do I care. My whole body's trembling and I can't stop moaning.

As I come down, he's still tongue first in my pussy, licking gently. I release the vice grip I have on his head, and try to pull him up. But he burrows his tongue deeper into me.

"Cupcake." I moan, "Cupcake, please" he lifts his head a little bit to look at me. I'm not sure what he sees exactly but he lessens his grip on my hip, and pulls back. I grab his shoulder and tug until he's holding himself above me.

"I want you now." I gasp as his fingers run up and down the inside of my thigh. He nods, kissing me, then thrusts into me in one powerful stroke. I gasp, open my legs wider and pull him down on top of me.

"Fuck, you're so tight." He breaths while holding himself completely still.

"No, shit." I manage, gasping. Not only has it been over 5 years, but his cock is unprecedented in both girth and length.

He looks at me, our faces only a few inches apart. "Are you ok?" he asks.

I'm so taken aback by this that I don't say anything. He assumes that it's not ok and starts to pull out, when I realize that he intends to stop; I shift my hips up and wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him back to me. This drives him in deeper and harder than before.

I moan and throw my head back. Happy growls and grabs one of my hips in his hand, but doesn't move. I lift my head to see him staring at me with such intensity that I almost cum again. _I guess I gotta provoke him._ I smirk and lick my lips.

"I told you that you couldn't handle me, Cupcake."

He narrows his eyes at me, and then pulls all the way out slowly. _Shit! Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him?_ I think. Suddenly, he thrusts back in completely. My orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks out of no where. I'm shaking, whimpering and chanting "Cupcake" over and over again.

This time though, he doesn't slow down or stop. Instead he keeps fucking me, while holding my hip, and my hair in his hands. I bite his lip, to try and quiet all the noise I know I'm making, this causes Happy to groan and fuck me harder, which just makes me cum again.

I can't seem to stop myself for chanting "Cupcake" even though I have Hap's lip between my teeth, I realize in the back of my mind that I'm being pretty fucking loud, but I don't seem to give a shit, and have no intention of stopping.

I bite down harder on his lip, moving my body in time with his, when I taste blood. I release his lip, and pull my head back. "Shit, sorry." I say on a moan, trying to wipe the blood from his lip.

"I don't give a fuck." He growls, letting go of my hair, and pulling my hand away before pushing his tongue into my mouth with such relishing savagery that it causes me to cum.

I should be grossed out by kissing him and tasting his blood, but it just makes me hotter for him.

All the sudden I feel his hands unwrapping my legs from his waist. Then he lifts my leg over his shoulder and thrusts into me harder than before. This causes me to make a gasp-moan-whimper- groan sound.

I can tell that he has basically no control left, as he keeps fucking me harder and faster. Even though I should probably be scared of getting injured by him from the intensity of his fucking, I'm not.

After a few more strokes I can tell he's close. I scratch my nails down his back, which causes him so shudder. He pulls my hair hard, and kisses me in time with his thrusts. Suddenly my whole body flushes with more heat that I thought possible, _holy shit I'm gonna cum again! No fucking way!_

"Oh fuck, CUPCAKE!" I scream biting his shoulder, as my whole body convulses under his.

"Fuck!" he shouts, burying his face in my neck, he slams into me a few more times, until stilling completely and groaning.

I run my hands softly down his back, trying to catch my breath and get my heart to stop beating so fast, before it bursts out of my chest. I try to pull my leg down off his shoulder, but he still has a firm grasp on it.

When he realizes that I just want my leg he lets go, and slowly runs his hand up my leg until it's resting on my hip. Happy pulls back, effectively removing his dick from inside me. I whimper at the loss, but can instantly tell that I'm gonna be extremely sore later.

Happy still has his hand wrapped in my hair, looks down into my face and smirks. I narrow my eyes at him, but he leans down and kisses me. This kiss is completely different, there's that same hunger and passion as earlier, but now it's not as urgent.

He breaks the kiss and moves from on top of me, to lay next to me. I can hear him breathing heavily, just as I am._ Damn, I just came more than I ever have, and I'm already sore. But Fuck I want him again. _

"It seemed like you had some trouble handling me, Strawberry." he says.

I scoff, and turn my back to him. "Asshole." I say laughing, while burrowing my head in his pillow. _Mmmm it smells like him._ I'm smelling his pillow instead of him because I know if I go near him, round two will start and as much as I want that, I'm exhausted.

Happy suddenly throws his arm around my waist and pulls me back into him. I turn my head slightly to see what's up with the cuddling, because I didn't peg him as a cuddler or a spooner.

I giggle a little at the sight. -Don't call me Cupcake-Tattoo covered- Hot as fuck raspy deep voice- Scare people from states away, is fast asleep, with his face buried in my hair.

"So much for not passing out on me." I say.

"… noisy…. strawberries…." He mumbles unintelligibly back at me. I giggle again as I immerse myself in him. I listen to his breathing for a minute before it lulls me to sleep.

*~* A/N- I keep trying to space out the lines of this story but it won't let me, can anyone help me with that? Reviews keep me writing, even when I think no one likes what I put out there…..


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Sorry for making everyone wait longer than usual! My nephew was a little outbreak monkey who gave me the stomach flu. And while i appreciated hallucinating weird shit that involved several of the Sons, I did not appreciate anything else. So i was low on energy and that's why this is late.**

**Shout out to my girl Lauren (Bad Company) for always reading my stuff first and listening to my ideas about shit!**

**Also I'm not a writer, so i don't have every chapter planned out ahead of time. What i do have is ideas and scenes planned out**.** But i just go with where Mac and my crazy brain takes me.**

** I feel so appreciative for everyone who has set this story and me as an author, to their favorite's list and alerts!**

**Warning; this chapter has some more smutty smuttiness with a very naked, very sexy Happy! **

**I own nothing you recognize, i do own Mac's smart ass though!**

***~* Chapter 6*~***

As I wake up, I smile without opening my eyes. I slept extremely well, and had expected to wake up alone. That's obviously not the case, as I can hear Happy's shallow breaths in my ear, and feel him on me. I open my eyes to look at him, and my smile stretches.

I'm laying on my back, with Happy half next to me and half on top of me. He's laying on his stomach with his right arm wrapped around my stomach and back, with my hip in his hand, effectively holding me under him. His face is buried in my hair right next to my ear.

I bite my lip, to stop myself from laughing and waking him up and my smile is replaced with a grimace. My mouth feels all fuzzy and dry. _Ugh! That's what I get for going to sleep before brushing the Jack and Beer out of my mouth. How could Happy have kissed me last night?_ I shudder, thinking of everything we did last night.

_Oh god, will I even be able to walk._ I give my legs a little test wiggle, their stiff but not too bad. _Maybe I should take up yoga_. I really need to brush my teeth and use the bathroom, but I'm comfortable, and I don't want to disturb Happy.

I look over at Happy, He looks so peaceful. I'm willing to bet anything that this is a rarity for him to be all cuddled up to someone._ The bathroom trip can wait._ I decide with a nod. I lift my head to check the time and see its 10:26am. As I lift my head I hear Happy grunt and then feel him tighten his hold on me, pulling me further under him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cupcake." I whisper while running my hands over his arm and back lightly, watching the sun glint on my black nail polish.

"What… time..?" I hear him breathe in my ear, still partially asleep.

"10:30" I say, feeling Happy move slightly, but without letting go or moving off me. "I wake you up?" I feel him shake his head

"Gotta get up anyway" he says still not moving.

I laugh lightly, "No rush, the cuddling is nice but unexpected."

Happy lifts his head and looks down at me. "Who's cuddling?"

"Well it looks like," I glance at where our bodies are still pressed together, "We are."

He doesn't look, but narrows his eyes. "I don't cuddle."

"Really? What do you call this then?"

"Not cuddling."

"So your what, protecting me from the cold California morning? Ooooh I know, your protecting me from the boogeyman under the bed."

Hap leans further into my face, glares and growls, "I don't cuddle"

I bite my lip to hold my laughter in. _God he's so fucking hot!_ Obviously I didn't do a good job of hiding my amusement, as he leans in completely until our noses touch.

"I do not cuddle." he growls.

I giggle, but quickly throw my hand over my mouth, and push a finger to his lips. "Hold that thought." I say behind my hand.

Hap grabs my wrist that's holding my finger to his delicious lips and pulls it away. "I ain't holdin shit."

I raise my eyebrow. "Actually your holding me by the hip, and the wrist." I say still hiding behind my hand. "And I'll be right back it won't be two fuckin minutes."

"Where you goin?"

"I gotta brush my teeth." He cocks his head to the side, and I sigh. "The jack and beer don't taste too good after mingling together for a few hours. Add sleep to that and it's a shit ton of a disgusting cluster fuck, breeding on my goddamn tongue!"

Happy chuckles as he pulls my hand away from my mouth, and I quickly clamp my lips together. "You got a naughty little mouth on you, Strawberry."

I smirk involuntarily, "You've got no idea"

I'm still smirking as Happy leans down and presses his lips to mine. I feel his tongue glide across my lips seeking entrance. I'm prepared to hold out and not let his tongue in but he plays dirty. Running his hand, that has been attached to my hip this whole time, slowly up my ribs to skim his thumb over my nipple.

I gasp, arching my back, and allowing his tongue full excess to my mouth. Our tongues slide and roll together for a minute while he plays with my nipple ring, and then he pulls back.

"Not disgusting." He says, removing his arm and body off me.

"Fuckin' tease" I say standing up. I almost fall on my face, but Happy slings his arm around my waist, saving me. I look down at his sexy tattoo covered arm around my hips, that's supporting my weight. "Holy fuck" I breathe

"What?"

I look over my shoulder and smile at him, "You're strong."

"No shit" he says clearly frustrated

I roll my eyes, "I'm not talking about your arms." I say, cupping my hand behind his elbow, and squeezing his arm tighter to me before pulling his arm off me. I take a tentative step forward, and when I don't fall I make my way to my purse, and crouch down.

"I'm talking about the fact that you fucked me so thoroughly last night that I couldn't feel my legs when I stood up." I say, pulling my tooth brush and tooth paste out of my bag, and then I head to the bathroom.

"No shit." I can hear the smirk in his voice but I know if I turn around I won't be leaving that bed for a while.

"No shit! Not even shaky like jello" I say as I shut the door.

After relieving my bladder, I finally get to brush my teeth. First a quick rinse and brush with just water to get the fuzzy feeling off my teeth, then adding tooth paste to eliminate the taste.

I look up in the mirror and I can't contain my laughter. My hair looks completely insane, almost like a lion's mane. Sticking up in different directions, and all poofed out, and some strands wavy from being wrapped in Happy's hands.

"What's so funny?" I snap my eyes to focus on the whole mirror and not just my reflection, and see Happy standing in the doorway watching me. He didn't bother to get dressed, and is clearly aroused.

"My hair." I say as my eyes run over his reflection in the mirror. "Tooth paste turn you on?" I turn around fully and tilt my head to indicate his erection.

"No your…" he stops and looks down my body and furrows his eyebrows. Then walks to me and says. "I hurt you."

"My legs are fine, Cupcake." I say looking up into his face. He's not looking at my face but at my body, I follow his gaze and see what he's talking about. On my left hip there's a purple bruise, that's clearly from his hand. I look up his torso to his face.

"I'm fine. But it looks like I hurt you." His head snaps up and he looks at me. I tap my finger on his shoulder. "I bit you," then tap my finger on his lip. "twice."

Hap looks down at his shoulder, and I follow his gaze. On his tattoo of a guy holding a blade with blood dripping from it and from the mouth, right on his head is a bruised pattern of my teeth.

He looks at me and smirks, "I like you bitin me."

I shiver, "You know your full of contradictions." He raises his eyebrow at me. "Your all Glare and growls, then you fuck me like a mad man." I say fondly. "But you're just a Cuddly Cupcake."

Happy puts his hands on my hips and spins us so my back is against the wall, and steps in flush against me. "What did you just say?"

"Your full of-"

"No." He rasps quietly

"You fucked me like a mad man?" I say breathing heavily.

"No. What did you call me?" He growls

I smirk, "Cuddly Cupcake."

Happy leans into me harder, "Do I feel cuddly to you? And stop calling me Cupcake."

I ignore that. "You know what I think? I think you like me calling you Cupcake just as much, if not more, than you like me biting you." I say smiling up at him.

He narrows his eyes, and then his lips are on mine. Hap's tongue is dueling with mine, as he picks me up and heads for the bed, but I pull away and shake my head.

"Shower" I say between gasps for breath. He nods and steps into the shower while kissing my neck. I pry his hands off my hips, so I can stand in front of him; I pull back and turn the shower on before I look at his face.

"You know why I call you Cupcake?" I say, sliding my hand down his arm slowly.

Hap narrows his eyes, "'Cause I don't like it." He says roughly, while his hand rubs gently over the bruise he left on my hip.

I smirk up at him, and kiss his neck. "I call you Cupcake because," I start licking his collar bone, above his 'I Live. I Die. I Kill. For My Family.' Tattoo. "From the moment I met you," I kiss my way to the snake's head over his heart. "I've wanted to," I trace the snake's body with my tongue until I'm between his nipples, and bite the 'Filthy Jew' tattoo under his right nipple. "Know if," I continue following the snake's body with my tongue until I reach the end, and then fall to my knees and kiss his belly button while looking up at him. "You taste as good as you look."

"Strawberry" he growls in warning.

"Cupcake." I purr back at him from the shower floor.

Happy tries to pull me up by the shoulder. But it's a half assed attempt and we both know if Hap wanted me off the floor I would be in an instant.

I smile up at him innocently, and slowly slide my tongue down and around his length, never breaking eye contact. I grasp the base in my hand, and slowly drag my tongue up to the head, pausing to trace the veins, before taking him completely into my mouth and sucking back up hollowing my cheeks.

Looking up at him like this, with water bouncing off his shoulders and slowly cascading down his abs, while I'm on my knees pleasuring him, I feel like we're back in time and he's a warrior come home from battle.

I moan as I circle the head with my tongue, and pull my mouth off him with an audible pop. I lightly blow on his dick and Hap groans. I give him a devilish little smile, and sink my mouth back down on him, while massaging his balls, and lightly allow my teeth to scrap against his shaft.

Happy smacks his hand onto the shower wall, grabs onto the soap dish and tightens his grip until his knuckles are white. I reach up and grab his other hand and direct it into my hair, the intensity that sparks in his eyes makes me whimper around his dick.

"Fuck Strawberry!" he hisses

I slowly pull my mouth up and off him, and let my hair sweep across his dick. "Told you, you had no idea bout my naughty little mouth."

"You," he stops trying to talk as I firmly grasp his balls in my hand and tug them down, while simultaneously tracing where the head meets the shaft of his cock with my tongue. Then sucking only the head in my mouth and sucking harder as a pull his balls firmly. I feel Happy's hand tighten in my hair, and know he's close.

I deep throat him as far as I can, and come up a little faster than before and follow with my hand. As I reach the head I twirl my tongue all around, making sure to let the ball on my tongue ring run over the slit there, suck hard, lightly nip with my teeth and moan while I let my nails scrap lightly against his sac.

Happy explodes in my mouth with a drawn out, "Fuuuuuck." I swallow every drop and milk him dry, never once taking my eyes off his during the whole blow job. Once I'm sure there's nothing left I pop up to my feet and stand under the spray of water like nothing happened.

I look over at Hap, whose leaning against the shower wall and looking at me with an expression of wonder, hunger and deep arousal. I smile and drop my head back to wet my hair, and grab the shampoo and squirt some into my hand.

As I'm massaging the shampoo into my hair I feel Happy's fingers sweep lightly across my hip. I open my eyes to see him standing practically on top of me. "Hi"

He smirks at me, "Hey" he says gruffly before kissing me.

I moan as he picks me up and puts my back to the shower wall, and I wrap my legs around him. I feel his hand in my shampoo filled hair, and the other holding onto my ass.

Hap pulls back, "Your sore." He says breathing heavy

"I don't give a fuck." I say back panting and tightening my legs around him afraid he'll stop. Happy must have grabbed his dick in his hand because all the sudden he's sliding his cock back on forth in my slit, and circling my clit. "Do _not_ fuckin tease me!"

I hear him chuckle and line up with my opening. Just as he's about to thrust into me I hear a phone ring. I groan "Go answer your phone."

He nods and tries to set me down but my legs have a vice grip on him. "You wanna come with me?" I shake my head and disengage my legs from his waist with a dramatic sigh, which earns me another sexy chuckle and a peck on the lips.

As Happy exits the shower, I stay leaned back against the shower wall and admire the view of his ass and his Son of Anarchy back piece, and then gasp. Hap whirls around to face me, probably thinking I was falling, and raises his eyebrows.

"I left scratch marks down your back." I say, "That's 3-to1 Cupcake, man up!" I say with a laugh

Happy raises an eyebrow, "And who couldn't walk this morning?" he says then turns and leaves to answer his phone.

"Touché you sexy fuckin tease!" I say a little loudly, and then turn into the spray to finish the shower before all the hot water runs out.

Just as I start lathering my body with soap the water turns cold. "SON OF A FUCKING WHORE BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Such a dirty mouth" I hear and snap my head over. And see Happy standing with the side of the shower curtain in his hand and pulled to the side, watching me finish my shower.

"How long you been there?" He shrugs. "You been there the whole time huh?" he nods with a smirk. "You got dressed." I say with a pout when I see he has a pair of jeans on.

"Got church in a few, but thought I'd check out these scratches first."

I nod and rinse the soap from my body while watching him, "And you love my dirty mouth, especially when it's wrapped around your dick, don't you Cupcake?"

"Strawberry." He says in warning. I turn the shower off and put my hand on his arm to stabilize myself, before stepping out.

I look up at him and start tracing his snake tattoo with my finger, while completely innocent saying, "Which part did you like best? Was it when my tongue was swirling all around the head? Was it my moaning around your dick? When my teeth were scraping lightly on an up stroke? When I deep throated your cock?" then I step away to grab a towel.

"Now who's a fuckin tease?"

Standing at the door, I look over my shoulder at him. "Technically you, since I delivered." I say with a smirk, and walk to my purse to get dressed.

I'm standing in the middle of the room, drying off when I see Hap watching me, from the bathroom doorway, out of the corner of my eye. I turn to him and arch an eyebrow.

"I was gonna deliver, _you_ told me to answer the phone." He says

I raise both eyebrows in surprise at him. "The club's more important than me getting off, I know that and so do you."

Happy looks at me surprised. "That's rare."

I drop the towel to the bed, crouch down to my purse and root around for my bra and panties. "Ah ha!" I say and pull my hot pink bra and panties out of my bag. "Yeah well I'm a rare breed." I say fastening my bra

"Yeah, You are." I hear him say as I step into my panties.

I crouch down to my bag again, this time looking for clothes to wear but come up empty. I smack myself in the forehead, "That's what I forgot!"

I stand up to search for my dress from last night when something smacks me in the face. I catch the item in my hands as it bounces off my face, and just stare at it.

"Put it on" Happy says

I look up at him and then back down at the black t-shirt he threw at me, then back up at him. "You don't gotta give me your shirt, Cupcake. I can just wear my dress from last night."

Happy scoffs at me._ Who knew scoffing could sound so sexy?_ "Like I'm gonna let you walk out of here in a white dress with pink panties on. The whole clubhouse will be sportin more wood than last night when you were dancin."

"Were you sporting wood while I was dancing Cupcake?"

"As soon as we left the chapel."

I smile at him, but then it registers, for the first time, where we are and my smile slips. "Oh shit this isn't good."

"What?"

"We fucked last night."

Hap looks at me like I'm insane. "No shit."

I roll my eyes at him. "We fucked last night, here, in the clubhouse and I was loud."

"Everyone was passed out, no one heard you, and if they did who cares?"

"Who cares? My Dad will fucking care, and he'll gut you like a fucking fish!" I say breathing heavily.

Happy walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Just calm down. People hook up all the time at MC parties."

"Not me!"

"You've never hooked up with a Son before?" Hap asks clearly surprised and sounding hopeful.

"No not once, or any hang around wannabe douche bags!" Happy smiles at me, a genuinely cocky smile. I narrow my eyes at him and shake my head, completely exasperated. "Listen my Dad can't find out, which means none of the guys can find out ok?"

Hap's smile drops and he cocks his head with a blank expression on his face. "You ashamed of fuckin me?"

"What?"

"You keep sayin your Dad will kill me, but I can take care of myself."

I throw my hands up in the air. "I know you can take care of yourself! But what do you think would happen if you raised your hand against my Dad? Huh? They'd kill you for attempting shit on the President!"

"And if you've never been with a Son before then you don't know what your Dad would do."

"Are you calling me a fucking liar?" I ask pissed off

"No, but how do you know what he'd do?"

I take a few deep breaths to calm down. "Look I don't know what he'd do, ok? But why chance it? You saw how he was last night when I came in from the picnic table. He's insanely protective." I look up into Hap's eyes. "And I won't have Son's fighting Son's because of me. I _won't_ come between brothers."

Happy's looking deep into my eyes while I say my peace, and it feels like he's seen just how ripped up my soul is. He slowly nods, "Ok no one finds out about this then."

I nod too, "We just avoid anyone seeing us leave your room together and it'll be fine." I say trying to convince myself as I walk to the door.

"You gonna put my shirt on?" Happy says stopping me.

I look down, and sure enough I'm still holding his shirt not wearing it. I turn around and smirk at him, "You seem a little insistent bout me wearin your shirt Cupcake."

He shrugs, "Can't have you runnin around with your panties showin. What would your Dad say?"

I pull his shirt over my head, and smooth it down. The shirt comes a little past mid thigh, and could probably fit 2 ½ of me in it. _Oh fuck! It smells like him._ I smile and arch an eyebrow at Happy, "Oh of course! I'll wear yours out and then burrow a shirt from one of the other guys so you can get your shirt back."

He narrows his eyes at me and growls, "Don't you fuckin dare."

"Don't what Cupcake?" I ask innocently, twirling a lock of hair around my finger.

Hap steps in close to me at the door; he wraps his hand in my hair and pulls so I'm looking up at him. "You switch my shirt for someone else's," he leans in so we're nose to nose, and I can feel his breath on my lips. "And I'll bend you over the pool table, and fuck you senseless in front of the whole club." I shiver, and he smirks. "Walking won't even be a fuckin option, got it Strawberry?" I nod and he walks away.

I'm hyperventilating completely turned on and overwhelmed with the imagery he just created, while watching him go to his bag at the foot of the bed, pull out a white shirt and put it on. Next he pulls out a gun holster and puts that on, followed by pulling out a bunch of guns.

I snap out of it and pick up his Cut from the floor and hold it for him. I run my hand threw my hair to smooth it out, but encounter a bunch of snarls. I go to my purse, crouch down and pull my hair brush and hair tie out. I give my hair a quick brush out and pull it up into a messy bun.

"Déjà vu" I hear Happy say

I snap my head up and sure enough its déjà vu. Hap's standing above me with my face in his crotch. I smirk at him, "Yeah but what ever happened to 'I don't do redheads'?"

"I don't"

I stand up, still holding his cut, and laugh. "You don't do redheads, just like you don't cuddle, right Cupcake?"

"You callin me a liar, Strawberry?"

"Absolutely not! But you're clearly in denial." I say and hold out his Cut for him, which he takes and slips on. "Now have you seen my shoes?" Hap points behind me, I turn around and spot them nestled under the bed, next to my clothes from last night.

As I sit down on the edge of the bed to pull my shoes on I look at Happy, only to find him staring at me, with an expression I can't read. "What?"

He shakes his head without saying anything.

I shrug, pick up the clothes and stuff them in my purse, then sling it over my shoulder, "I'm starving, how bout you Cupcake?"

Hap doesn't say anything again just nods.

As I reach the door, I narrow my eyes at him. "Ok weird silent Cupcake, it's been fun." I say reaching up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. I take a deep breath, open the door and step out.

I'm standing outside Hap's door, looking down at his shirt while rubbing the hem between my fingers, and enjoying being wrapped in his smell. _He's never getting this shirt back!_ I think to myself with a smirk.

"How could you drink as much as you did last night?" Hap says finally breaking his silence.

I turn and look at him as he locks his door. "I'm 100% Irish"

"But you're small."

"Ok just because I'm not, what…" I look him up and down. "6 ft tall doesn't mean I'm small. I'm a woman and 5'6 is average."

"6' 2." He says. "And you're not average." I smile at him. Even though it's the same thing Koz said last night, how Hap says it is sweet and genuine, instead of flirty. _Definitely never getting this shirt back_, I think with a smirk.

I turn around only to freeze. I feel all the blood drain from my face.

"Mornin Dad." I manage around the lump in my throat.

***~*A/n- Let me know what you all think! I thrive on reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- This chapter I'm not %100 happy with, because i had plans for more but decided it would be too long so i cut it in 2! **

**Shout outs to Lauren (Bad Company) who listens to me and all my bullshit! Check out her stories to if haven't already.**

**I own nothing you recognize. I do own a deep love for the summer as the sound of motorcycles are loud and proud, and make me think of our boys of SOA! **

**Pictures for this story can be found here- **.com/albums/zz216/angiepie_photos/Born%20Into%20Anarchy/

***~*Chapter 7*~***

Standing maybe 5 feet in front of Happy and me, dressed in his usual jeans, t-shirt, Cut and boots, is my father with a disbelieving look on his face.

"What the fuck is this?" my Dad says pointing his finger between myself, Happy, and his room, without taking his eyes off Happy.

"Happy offered to let me sleep in his room last night." My Dad looks a little shocked at this but quickly schools his face to pissed.

"I'll just fuckin bet he did." He says lowly. I step back a little bit so I'm blocking Happy. Which isn't a smart move as my Dad cocks his head and looks between the two of us.

_Shit! _ "Dad, everyone passed out, and all the rooms were locked up. Hap offered to take me to your house, but it was 4 in the morning, and I didn't see the point in waking you and Gemma up." I say trying to remain calm.

"Where'd you sleep Hap?" my Dad says, narrowing his eyes and ignoring me.

"In my room." Happy says with a tilt of his head at his door.

My Dad glares at Happy. "Did you fuck my daughter?" he says taking a step closer to us.

_Fuck! This isn't good; I gotta get him off this. Gotta protect Happy!_

I gasp, "Dad! You think I'm some kind of biker whore who fucks a guy the day she meets him." I say outraged. _I obviously am a biker whore, well Happy's whore, but he can't know that!_

Happy looks at me surprised, and my Dad looks at me ashamed.

"You know I don't think that, Princess."

"How would I know that? You're being rude to Happy for being nice to me and you make me sound like some skanky bitch because I slept in his room!" I say exasperated. "I guess next time I should just cuddle up with Juice on the pool table, or maybe sleep on top of Tig on the couch!" I know I'm being dramatic, but so is my Dad, even if he's on the right track.

My Dad searches my face, for what I'm not sure, but he seems to find it as he put his hand on my shoulder. "You look like you slept well." He says, hopefully dropping the subject.

I nod, "I slept amazingly well." _Of course I did Happy fucked me into exhaustion. Shit, focus!_

"You actually slept well with someone else in the room." My Dad asks surprised.

"Well it was Happy's room, and I wasn't gonna make him go sleep out in the main room, where there was no space left."

He looks between the two of us again, "That's not like either of you."

I cock my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Well Hap doesn't let women into his room, let alone his bed. And you, Princess, you can't relax enough to get good sleep when someone else is in the room. It's good you found someone else you can trust, besides Chibs."

I turn and look at Happy, who's looking at me questioningly. "So what, you get blow jobs against walls, and shit?" I say playfully, hinting at this morning.

He nods with a smirk "Fuck 'em on picnic tables, pool tables, whatever." He says with a shrug

I smirk back at him, suppressing a shiver; _I knew he would have fucked me outside last night!_ _I'm never gonna be able to look at a pool table the same way again._

"Too much information Hap." My Dad says, we both look at him. "I'm glad you showed me respect by looking out for my little girl, and not being all over her like all the other assholes out there." He says holding out his hand.

I turn my head and look at Happy, who looks guilty, but accepts my Dad's hand, "Course Prez." He says, with a stoic face.

"I'm starving." I say trying to break how bad I feel for lying to my Dad, and for Happy's guilt.

"Someone will take you to get food, after church." My Dad says, I nod and he turns and walks away.

I stand awkwardly in the hall with Happy, not looking at him and not sure what to say.

"I can't do that again." Happy says quietly.

I turn and look up at him, searching his face. I nod, "I won't put you in that place again." I say solemnly and turn to walk away. Hap grabs my arm, and pulls me back, lifts my chin with his hand and looks in my eyes.

"Clay's done a lot for me. As much as I wanna fuck you again, I can't disrespect my brother."

I nod, "I understand, and like I said I won't put you in that place again." He looks surprised. "What, the guilt was all over your face. I told you earlier I won't come between brothers, and I meant that with ever fiber of my being." I say, feeling tears pool in my eyes I quickly look away.

_Do not cry…. Do not cry…., Do not cry just because he has everything you've ever wanted in a guy …._ I feel a tear escape and slide down my cheek, quickly wiping at it, and turning my head further away.

I feel Hap's hand on my shoulder, turning me, and then lifting my chin in his hand again, I squeeze my eyes shut.

"It's for the best, you don't need some asshole piece of shit like me fucking your life up, Straw-, Mac." That does it and I feel tears peek out from under my lashes and roll down my cheeks.

Hap swipes my cheeks with his fingers, and I figure what the hell and open my eyes to look up at him. Happy looks sad, and confused, I place my hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm crying. I don't want drama between you and any of your brothers, especially my Dad." I take a deep breath to collect myself, and stop the tears. "You have church, you should go."

He looks deep into my eyes, like earlier seeing far too much, and then slowly nods. Then kisses me lightly on the lips, before dropping his hand and walking away.

I stand there watching him go, with out looking back, and try to collect my self. But what my Dad said finally makes me think about all this with Happy, and I get lost in my thoughts.

I can't believe I actually slept so soundly with someone else in the same room as me. Usually if I sleep in the same room with anyone I can't relax. My Dad's totally right about that.

Yet with Happy I slept better than I have since I can remember. It could have something to do with the amazing multiple orgasm filled, best sex ever, but I don't think so.

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. I mean this is the same guy who grabbed me unexpectedly and I didn't flinch.

Why don't I flinch around Happy?

There have been times when people I've known my whole life grab me and I freak out. But some guy I just met, touching me and me not spazzing out. Un-Fucking-Heard-Of! I didn't flinch once at the party last night.

My Dad's right, I trust Happy completely.

Not only is he sexy, with a yummy raspy deep voice, and covered in tattoos. A member of the club, who is obviously dangerous, yet cuddly and sweet. Smart and funny. But He didn't ask who I was when he found me in the clubhouse; he just wanted to know what I was doing. He was trying to protect his family. That's huge to me and shows his loyalty.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by my stomach growling. I swipe at me cheeks to make sure there are no linger tears, and then make my way to the main room of the clubhouse.

The place is a mess, bottles and chips all over the place, what looks like spilled beer over by the couch. I shake my head _some thing's don't ever change._ I see Half-Sack come from behind the bar with a broom in hand, when I look at his face I gasp, and he snaps his head in my direction.

I walk up to him. "Shit, did you put ice on that." I say pointing to his swollen, black and blue eye, and cut cheek.

"I got stuff to do first." He says, looking like a wounded puppy.

"I shouldn't have hit you so hard." I say

"I've had worse." He says looking down at himself. "You could be a boxer with that right hook you threw at me."

I smirk, "I had a good teacher."

"Who, Clay taught you how to fight. That's cool."

I shake my head. "No actually Chibs did. Jax helped occasionally, and Tig would offer…. Guidance." I say with a laugh, "So you're a boxer right." I say sitting down on a stool at the bar.

He beams with pride, "Yeah, and Chibs has been helping me. Dude is a badass street fighter."

I laugh, "Yeah, I know. Hey why do they call you Half-Sack?"

He blushes and looks away, "I don't think I should tell you." He says, his eyes trained on something, I follow his gaze toward the chapel door .It's open and I can see Chibs' back and part of Piney's arm. I meet Juice's confused stare and wave at him, which he returns and adds a smile.

I look back at Half-Sack, "How old are you?"

"23, why?"

"All these guys," I say waving my hand toward the chapel. "They treat me like a little girl still, I can't stand it, but I grew up around them so I get it. But your not that much older than me, and just met me so don't treat me like a little girl." I say giving him a glare and raised eyebrow.

Half-Sack nods, "I was in the military, and I got hurt. I only have one ball, so Half-Sack." He says still blushing.

"Dude that sucks!" I say putting a hand on his shoulder. "What's your real name?"

"It does suck, but I'm getting use to it. My name's Kip."

I smile at him, "Well Kip, I bet the girls just melt when you tell that story, don't they?"

He looks sheepish and nods. "You kicked ass last night." I cock my head to the side. "Out drinking the guys."

I smirk, "Yupp, next time remind me to bet money." I see Tig come wandering out of the hall way and smirk, and say loudly, "It's always fun to take money from the guys, especially Tig."

Tig snaps his head in my direction. "You lookin to be my whore, Pippi?"

I laugh and turn around to face him. "Tig, I've known you my whole life, there is no way I'd ever become your whore. You're like my uncle, well creepy uncle."

He frowns, "We aren't related, and you'd have fun."

I cock an eyebrow at him, "Tig I use to make you play horse and I'd ride around on your back for hours. That's not exactly a turn on."

He smirks, "You could still ride me for as long as you want, just not my back."

I shake my head, "You'll always be Tigger to me, it isn't gonna happen!"

"Tig! What the fuck? Stop messing with Mac and get your ass in here!" I hear my Dad say; I turn my head and see him standing in the doorway of the chapel, before walking over to me.

My Dad slings his arm around my shoulders, "He buggin you Princess?"

"It's Tig, so of course he is."

He nods, "Chapel." He says looking at Tig. "Prospect, why the fuck are you standing around? Get to work!" he says waving his hand around the room. Kip starts sweeping immediately.

"I was talking to him."

He shrugs, "Good thing he hasn't learned how to multitask yet then."

"Dad-."

"Good job on the black eye." He says squeezing my shoulders. "Sorry about earlier… what I said, I didn't mean it how it sounded…"

"Yo Clay! We're waitin." I hear Jax yell.

"Well keep fuckin waitin!" my Dad yells back. He turns and looks down at me, "You know I'd never think that about you, Princess."

I look down, feeling ashamed for putting guilt on my Dad.

"You do know that right?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head without looking at him, "You should go in before you have a mutiny on your hands." I say as my stomach growls again.

"Call Gemma, and she'll come pick you up and you can get some food." He says kissing me on the forehead before leaving, a minute later I hear the chapel door shut.

I put my purse on top of the bar and pull my sketch pad and pencils out, instead of interrupting Gemma. I flip the pad open, and stare at the blank page.

"You an artist or something." Kip asks, and I jump.

"I just like to draw." I say not looking up "Hey Kip, is there anything to drink in here besides alcohol?"

I hear a refrigerator open, "We got bottled water, that's it. You want me to run to the store and get you something else?"

I look up at him with a smile, "No waters fine, thank you though."

He hands me the water, "Why are you callin me Kip instead of Half-Sack or Prospect?"

I open the water and take a sip, "You're a person, not an object, so I like to use a name instead of 'Prospect', but if you piss me off I'll probably call you that. I like Kip better than Half-Sack." I say with a shrug

"How are your piercings healing?" he asks blushing

I laugh, "Their good. You seen my Ipod?"

He nods, bends down behind the bar, roots around for a minute then pops up and hands me my Ipod. "Thanks" he nods and starts mopping.

I plug the headphones into my black Ipod, and stick one in my ear. I flip through all the songs Juice added for me, classic shit that I love and new stuff that I've never heard before, and select 'comedown' by Bush.

I close my eyes and let the old favorite roll over me, and then I pick up a pencil and start drawing.

Sometime later as I'm singing along with Mick Jagger about painting everything black, I hear a noise and snap my head up and look around. I see the guys all coming out of the chapel. I stop my music and pull the ear bud out, shut my sketch pad and turn to watch everyone come out.

As Bobby makes his way out he shuts the door. I look around; my Dad and Happy didn't come out. _Maybe I missed Hap coming out of the chapel. _

"Hey Mac." I hear Juice say, I look over and he's standing next to me, eyeing my shirt with a curious expression.

"Hey Juice, where's my Dad?"

"He said he had to talk to Happy about something, but I don't know what."

_Shit, I should have known he wouldn't drop it that easily!_

I realize someone else is missing too, "Where's Opie?"

Juice shakes his head, "He's working up at the mill."

I look at him shocked. "He missed church for the mill? What the fuck?" I say and then my stomach growls.

Juice chuckles, "How bout I take you for the food I offered yesterday, I need to talk to you."

When I think about saying no my stomach growls again. "Sounds good. Can we stop at my Dad's house first so I can change?" I ask, since the guy's are all eyeing the shirt with suspicion. Plus I want to preserve the smell of Happy in this shirt for as long as possible.

Juice smiles, "Yeah, no problem. You wanna go now?"

I nod picking up my sketch pad, pencils and Ipod I put them in my purse.

"Who's shirt you wearin beautiful?" I hear Koz say

"Not someone who passes out on a table after a few drinks." I quip while facing him.

"I was on the road for about 8 hours yesterday, and drank a lot, I was tired." He says defensively.

_So did Happy, and he smoked weed with me, and then fucked my brains out!_

I stand up off the stool, "Riiiight. You and Tig with your excuses, just admit that I beat your ass." I say with a casual look at the chapel door, _Jesus still in there, well at least there's no sound of raised voices or fighting._

"You won, but you didn't beat _my_ ass." Koz says with a glace at Tig.

"I don't got time for your bullshit, asshole. I got shit to do for Clay." Tig says walking out the door.

I cock my head at his back, but then shrug chalking it up to club shit. I feel a hand on my arm and jump; I look over and see its Juice. Out of the corner of my eye I see Koz looking at me funny.

"You ready to go Mac?" Juice asks.

"That your shirt, she's wearin Juice?" Koz asks, doubtful. He's looking at me with his head cocked, and an expression of putting things together.

_There's no way he could know._

Juice looks over at Koz, and then at my shirt. "No, it's not is it Mac?" I shake my head. "You want one of mine?" he asks no doubt seeing how uncomfortable I am with the questions of my shirt's origin.

_Fuck yes! I wanna provoke Hap into fucking me on the pool table!_

I glace at the pool table and suppress a shiver, "No I'm good, we can just stop so I can change." I say picking my purse up and putting it on my shoulder.

"Hey, don't you think you shouldn't be taking off with some guy's girl?" Koz says as we turn to leave.

Juice and I turn to look at him. "Mac isn't anyone's girl." He says confused. As I look at Koz surprised.

Koz raises his eyebrows. "Oh no? Then why did some guy give her his shirt, knowing damn well everyone would see her in it?" Juice cocks his head and looks at the shirt. "Fuckin retard!" Koz says

I'm in his face before I even registered a thought about moving. "Don't you fuckin _dare_ call him that!" I hiss

Koz looks surprised, and puts his hands up. "A'ight. Chill out"

I give him a solid glare before turning back to Juice, who's smiling. "Let's get out of here."

He nods, and slings his arm around my shoulders. "You didn't have to do that, you know." He says once we leave step out into the sunshine.

I scoff, "Like I'm just gonna stand there while he calls you a retard! Jesus I need to get some sunglasses." I say throwing a hand up to shield my eyes, as we make our way to the row of bikes.

Juice chuckles, "Thanks Mac. Here" he says handing me his shades.

I shake my head. "You don't gotta thank me Juice, you're my boy. And I think you should keep your sunglasses since your driving."

He shrugs, and puts them on. "Saw you were listenin to your Ipod, what do you think about the new shit I put on there for ya?"

"Lady Gaga is weird, but I like the beats, they'll be fun to dance too. Other than that, I've just listened to the older songs so far, but I'll get to the new shit"

He nods and snorts, "Wait until you see her. I knew you'd like her." He says with a smirk, as we stop in front of the bikes.

I look down, seeing a bike I recognize as the one he had when they picked me up from jail. "Shit, that's a nice upgrade." I say really looking at it. "Are those speakers on your fairing? And a holder for your Ipod?" I say pointing

"Yeah, how else would I listen to my music?" He says like it's completely normal for a bike to have an Ipod holder and speakers.

I smile at him, "You're such a techno geek. I love the logo." I say touching the M-16 and scathe, with bullet holes in the blade, with the 'Sons of Anarchy' lettering just below the scathe. "Oooh 110 inch motor, nice! I bet she's fun to ride."

"Well you could find out if you stopped droolin over her, bike junkie." He says with a laugh.

I give him a mock glare, "Well let's roll then." He nods, hands me a helmet and gets settled on his bike, then holds out his arm for me. I hop on and get a firm grip on him. "You've been workin out."

Juice looks over his shoulder and smiles, "You know it darlin'." He says with a wink over his shades, before turning back around, starting the bike, and backing out.

As we race down the streets, it strikes me as odd what Koz said. Why did he assume that the shirt was so people would think I was taken?

_Granted I know that Hap, was marking his territory, but he couldn't have known that, could he?_

How come he didn't just chalk it up to someone giving me a shirt so I wasn't wearing the same thing two days in a row?

_Maybe he heard me last night._ I shake my head, _No,_ _he was passed out when we left the main room, and he was mumbling something. Jesus I'm fuckin paranoid!_

"Hey, you gonna go change?" Juice says bringing me out of my paranoia.

"Huh?" I say looking around, to see us in my Dad's drive way behind Gemma's caddy. "Oh yeah, you coming in?" I ask getting off the bike.

He looks at Gemma's car and shakes his head. "Nah, I'll just wait for you out here."

I shake my head, "Why you scared of Gemma?" I ask with a laugh, knowing most of the guys have a bit of fear of the Queen.

Juice shrugs, "I think she's mad at me."

I shake my head at him again, "A'ight, I'll be back in a few." He nods as I turn and make my way up the drive way.

Just as I get to the door, and reach for the handle, it opens. "Hey baby girl. Who's shirt you wearin?" Gemma says looking me up and down, and opening the door wider.

I walk inside heading toward the stairs, "Hey Gem. Juice is gonna take me to lunch." I say ignoring her question.

She looks at me, and then nods her head towards the door, "Why is he waiting outside?"

I laugh, "He thinks your mad at him." I say with my hand on the railing of the stairs. Gemma shakes her head and laughs. "Look I wanna change, I'm starving." I say and run up the stairs.

As soon as I get to my room, I pull my purse off my shoulder and dig my dirty clothes out. As I throw them in the hamper, I notice my panties are missing. I frantically dig threw my purse again, but their not there.

_Shit! That's just great; nothing like asking a guy you just hooked up with, and then freaked out by crying in front of him, if he's seen your panties!_ I shake my head.

I pull Hap's shirt over my head and hide it under my pillow on my bed. I head to the closet and just stare at all the clothes, as my stomach rumbles.

As I bend down to grab my boots that were on my bed when I first got back I hear Gemma say, "So who were you fooling around with outside last night?"

I almost drop the pair of black skinny jeans I selected, before turning to face her. "I wasn't." I say with a shrug

"Who the fuck did that?" Gemma says walking to me, and pointing at me hip.

I look down, and see that Happy's hand print, that's wrapped around my hip, is even darker now than it was a few short hours ago, and standing out in stark contrast with my hot pink panties. "It's nothing." I say fighting my smile, while pulling my jeans on.

"Your smiling about it." She searches my face, "Who'd you fuck last night?"

I smirk, shake my head, and then bite my lip. Before turning to find a long shirt so none of the guys will see the bruise. I spot a spaghetti strap, pink and white striped long cami and pull it on. Then sit on my bed to put my hot ass boots on.

"Was it Juice?" Gemma asks.

I scoff at her, "Didn't I just tell you yesterday that I don't see him like that."

"Yeah, but I thought since he thinks I'm mad at him, maybe he felt guilty about fucking you." She says with a shrug.

I shake my head. "No, it wasn't Juice." I say zipping up my boot, then standing.

"You know I'm not gonna be pissed like your Dad, and you can talk to me about anything, no matter what." She says.

"Gem, I love you, and I know and appreciate that. But I'm not spilling." I say hugging her.

She pulls back and looks at me, "It wasn't anyone from SAMCRO then, so it was either Happy or Koz."

"How do you know it wasn't one of SAMCRO?" I ask a little freaked out that she would be so on the spot.

Gemma scoffs at me, "You grew up with all of them except Juice and the Prospect. And I know he doesn't do shit for you. So Koz or Happy, which was it?" she says eyeing me.

I fight the urge to squirm under her gaze, "You think I'm a whore who would fuck some guy she just met?" I ask incredulously, figuring it worked with my Dad, so why not Gemma?

Gemma narrows her eyes at me, her voice firm. "Don't bullshit me. Now I'm positive its one of the Tacoma boys." _Fuck!_ "Besides, both of those guys are sexy motherfuckers! Which one was it? I'm assuming he was good because you have that 'I just got fucked, and loved every minute of it' glow going on, and your walking a little funny."

I just stand there looking at her surprised.

"What? I'm allowed to look." She says.

I shake my head, "I'm walking funny?" I ask looking at my legs then at Gemma.

She nods, "Just a bit."

"Shit! I'm so fucking screwed! No wait, the guys couldn't have noticed or they would have said something." I nod my head, agreeing with myself.

Gemma laughs, "No, Honey that was last night."

I glare and point at her, "Not helpful."

"I don't think the guys will notice, just relax." She says pulling me into another hug.

I pull back quickly, "Did you just sniff me?" I ask incredulously

Gemma smirks, "I'm trying to figure out who it was, since you won't tell me." She finishes with a pout.

I narrow my eyes at her and pick my purse up. "Let it go." I say and leave the room.

"Word of advice, even though you're mad at me." Gemma says, following me.

I stop at the door, with my hand on the knob and turn to face her. "I'm not mad at you Gem." I say genuinely.

She nods, "I don't know which guy it was." I sigh, "_But_, I don't think he'll be too happy with you riding around and hangin with Juice with the girls peeking out to say 'hi'." She says pointing down at my chest.

I sigh again, "Well he'll just have to deal with it." I take a deep breath, "Besides it was one night, it's not happening again." I say sadder than I meant to and Gemma cocks her head.

"I really gotta get food before I pass out, I'll see ya later." I say quickly, swinging the door open and practically running down the drive way towards Juice.

"Hey you ok?" he asks as I reach him.

I quickly climb on the back of his bike and hold on to him. "No."

I see him nod, "Let's get you something to eat." He says revving his bike and driving off. If only I could leave my emotions behind.

***~*A/N**- ** I'll start chapter 8 later tonight. Review and let me know what you all think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Thank you all for the love with your reviews! It makes my day when i read them. **

**The usual shout out to Lauren (Bad Company) i wouldn't know what to do without her!**

**This chapter has a little bit of everything, and is also**** longer than the others, I'm not sure if people like long or short chaps better, so let me know!**

** Hope you like!  
**

***~* Chapter 8*~***

When Juice and I arrive at the 'Charming Diner', he holds the door open for me, and we're greeted with the same burgundy and cream interior that has been the diner's staple for as long as I can remember. Juice leads me over to a booth in front of the window.

"There's not many people over here, we need privacy for this talk?" I ask as I slide into my side of the booth.

"Privacy is always good." He says with a shrug

"So what's up Juicy?" I ask.

"Hi my name's Jan, and I'll be your waitress today. What can I get you two to drink?" the waitress says, without looking up from her order pad. When she looks up, she blushes and stares at Juice.

I hold back a laugh, "I'll have a coke"

"Chocolate milkshake." Juice says looking at his menu. The waitress nods and walks away.

"Dude did you fuck her?"

Juice looks startled, "Who?"

I roll my eyes, "Our waitress." I say nodding my head towards her.

He follows my nod, "No I didn't. Why?"

"She only had eyes for you. It was like I wasn't even here."

Juice shakes his head. "She's new; I've never seen her before."

I nod, "In a state of Son shock." I say.

He nods, "So you like any of the new music I put on your Ipod?"

I cock my head at him, "I just told you I haven't listened to it all yet."

"Right, I forgot."

"It wasn't even an hour ago."

Juice looks at me, "How come you were upset after changing?"

I shake my head. "I don't wanna talk about it." I say looking at my menu.

He nods, "Does it have anything to do with why Clay was pissed?"

I snap my head up to look at him, "He's pissed?"

"Oh yeah, he came into the chapel pissed, then it got worse after he had to get Tig. Could just be club shit since he wanted to talk to Hap." He says with a shrug.

"What's-,"

"Here's your drinks, one chocolate milkshake and a coke. Are you ready to order food yet?" Jan the waitress says.

Juice nods for me to order. "I'll have the Charming Cheeseburger, with extra fries." I say.

"Make that two." Juice says smiling at me.

"Soooo Hot," she says then giggles. "Ummm…Of…Of Course." The waitress says on a cough, blushing furiously and leaves quickly.

I laugh. "Someone's got a new stalker."

Juice shakes his head. "It's good to finally have you back, Mac." He says with a charming smile.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Ok that's it. What's going on?"

"What'd you mean?"

I cock an eyebrow, "You said you needed to talk to me, and you're avoiding it. So spill."

Juice sighs and looks into the diner. "I don't think now is the time. You're upset."

I scoff at him, "Now is the time. Juice, come on what's up?"

He takes a deep breath. "Ok you know how I'd do anything for you?" he asks without looking at me.

"Yeah…"

"I can't lose you Mac."

I cock my head to the side. "You're not going to. I'm not going anywhere."

"I already have lost you. And it's my fault."

"Me getting locked up wasn't your fault Juice." I say

He shakes his head. "You've been avoiding me since you got out."

I freeze realizing that he's talking about the kiss, and my avoidance of having to break his heart.

Juice finally looks up at me, "You're my only friend Mac. I need you around."

"I'm not your only friend, Juice." I say disbelieving. "What about the guys?"

"Yeah you are. Their my brothers, and brothers love each other because their brothers. But you and I, we like the same types of music, movies, and video games, we click."

"Juice, I-." I start

"Two Charming Cheeseburgers, and extra fries, here's some ketchup." The waitress says putting our plates in front of us. "Need anything else?" she asks hopefully, looking at Juice. We both shake our heads.

I pick up my cheeseburger and take a huge bite, not knowing what to say to Juice, and I'm unable to hold back my moan of delight at having food at last.

"I don't see you like Opie does, you're not a little sister to me." Juice says not touching his food.

I take a sip of my coke, and ask the question I've been dreading the answer to. "How do you see me?" I ask picking up a fry.

Juice smiles at me, "You're my best friend. I love hanging out with you, but at the same time I'm not gonna lie and say I haven't imagined fucking you." He says with a smirk.

I sit there speechless, while he drinks some of his milkshake, just looking at him my food forgotten.

"I need you around Mac. Do I think your hot, fuck yes. And do I flirt with you, yes and I always will, but I'm not in love with you, and I don't think you're in love with me either. Are you?"

I shake my head, "I love you, but in a friendship way."

Juice nods, "I'm not sorry I kissed you, I was in the moment, but I'm sorry that it freaked you out."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank fuck Juice, I was worried about having to break your heart."

He nods again, "I was too at first, but then you were avoiding me and I knew you didn't have feelings for me. We're gonna hang out right?"

"Hell yes we will be hanging out, you gotta get me up to date with pop culture." I say picking up my burger and taking a bite.

Juice laughs, "5 years of movies, music, tv, well basically everything. It's gonna be fun."

I laugh too, "Yupp, I'm looking forward to it!"

Juice turns serious all the sudden and grabs my hand, "Your one of the few things I have aside from the club, I can't lose you Mac." He says looking in my eyes.

I grasp his hand firmly, "Juice, you'll never lose me. I promise." He nods.

"We interrupting something?" I hear Koz say.

I jump and snap my head to the right. Standing in front of our booth is Koz and Happy. Koz looks amused and a little confused, while Happy looks really pissed.

I cough to clear my throat, while trying to pull my hand away from Juice but he won't let go. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Koz slides in, trapping me between him and the wall. "Just came to get some food." He says grabbing a fry off my plate. I glare at him, which cause him to smirk and throw his arm around me shoulders.

Hap slides in next to Juice, and smacks him on the back hard, Juice flinches and finally drops my hand. Then he sees Koz's arm around me and narrows his eyes._ Fuck my life!_

I look at my plate and start eating my cheeseburger again, but can feel Happy's eyes on me. Koz's arm feels like a ton of bricks so I try to shake it off but he tightens his arm around me and pulls me closer.

Koz reaches for another fry and I smack his hand. "Get your own food."

"Why can't we share sweetheart?" Koz asks, trying to sweet talk me.

I try to shake his hold again, but it does no good and he starts rubbing my bare shoulder with his fingers. "Back the fuck off." I hiss breathlessly.

Hap stands up and grabs Koz's arm roughly, and slams Koz's hand on the table top. "Don't touch her." He growls sitting down.

"What -," Juice starts only to get cut off by his cell phone. He pulls it out of his pocket, "Shit I gotta get this, could you move Hap?" When Happy doesn't move Juice tries again. "Happy, man I need to answer this call, can you let me out?"

Happy growls, doesn't take his eyes off Koz, but stands up and steps back for Juice to get out. As soon as Juice is out of the way, Hap sits in the middle of the bench and stretches his arms along the back of the seat.

"You gonna ask Hap about what your Dad talked to him about?" Koz asks

"It's none of my business." I say, biting into a fry.

Koz raises his eyebrows, "Really? Cause I figured since your Dad chewed his ass out for sleeping with you, that you'd wanna know how it went."

I cough choking on my fry, and Koz pats me on the back. I look at Happy, but he's looking at Koz with a blank face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tell Koz, and he smirks. _Oh this isn't good._

"Hey, I gotta run, club shit." Juice says walking up to us.

"Is everyone alright?" I ask worried.

He nods, "Yeah, nothing happened to anyone. I just gotta take care of some shit. Sorry for cutting lunch short." Juice says kneeling in the empty booth behind me. "I'll see you later right?"

I nod "Yeah we'll hang out later or something." I say

He nods and kisses me on the cheek. "Later" he says throwing money on the table, before leaving.

"You know you're the perfect girl, Mac?" Koz asks, putting his arm around me again. I tense up and try to scoot away but he pulls me in tight to his side. "You're beautiful and funny, tough; and you know what MC life is like. But the kicker is this curvy, tight little body that's driving me insane." He says rubbing the strap of my cami and bra.

Happy grabs Koz's wrist hard, twisting, and leans into his face across the table. "Touch her one more time and I'll rip your fuckin arm from your body and shove it down your goddamn throat" he says calmly.

_Is it wrong that I'm turned on?_

"Do you need any- uhhh…?" The waitress trails off when she spots Happy looking homicidal.

"Do you have any cupcakes? It's the funniest thing, I woke up last night and kept hearing this sexy voice moaning 'Cupcake' over and over again, and I've been craving one ever since." Koz says to the waitress but looking at Happy with a smirk on his face.

Hap narrows his eyes, drops Koz's wrist and sits down. Koz rubs his wrist. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do or say.

"Uh, I can check." She says weakly.

Koz waves it off, "I'll have one of these." He says pointing to my plate. "Anything for you Hap?"

"Strawberry milkshake." Happy says, and the waitress runs off.

Koz laughs, "Strawberry and Cupcake, you two have a food fetish or something?"

I smirk despite how freaked out I am, "Somethin like that." I say looking at Happy.

Hap smirks back at me and nods.

I look at Koz, "So what does this mean exactly?" I ask chewing on my lip

"It means I know what you two were up to last night." Koz says. "You seemed to _really _enjoy yourself Mac, and I gotta say I knew you'd be a screamer. Bet you're a freak too."

"Watch it Koz." Happy says

I narrow my eyes at Happy, "Go ahead and smile Cupcake, I see you holding it back."

Hap shakes his head, and then unleashes a triumphant smile, "Still, watch your mouth." He says pointing a finger at Koz. I smirk at Happy. _He's so sexy when he's bossy, and defending me._

"I just gotta ask, why this asshole?" Koz asks pointing at Happy

"He's the -,"

"A Strawberry milkshake and Charming cheeseburger. Anything else?" the waitress asks sitting down the food and shake.

_Thank you Jesus! I was about to say he's the perfect guy_

"No." Happy growls, scaring her off again.

"Your gonna give her a heart attack Cupcake."

Happy shrugs and takes a drink of his shake, then shakes his head and looks at me. "You taste better." He says licking his lips

I shiver and squeeze my legs closed. Then I stand up and lean over the table. Placing my hand on his forearm, I curl my tongue around the straw, my eyes on Happy's and take a drink, moaning as the cold shake hits my tongue.

I open my eyes and look down at Hap, he's looking back and forth from my face and my chest. I look down and smirk, _Gemma was right my cleavage is out there._ I lick my lips and Happy's eyes flash.

"Hello I'm still sitting here ya know. Although the view is great" Koz says

I look over my shoulder and see him watching my ass. I give Happy a wink before backing away and sitting down.

"Why don't you and Tig get along?" I ask Koz

"He's an asshole." He says eating his cheeseburger.

"Is it a Sergeant at Arms thing?" I ask him.

"Whoa, I'm not an asshole." He says

I raise an eyebrow. "No? So you didn't come in here, flirt with me and get all grabby to piss Hap off?" I ask him

"I didn't do it to _just_ piss Hap off." he says smirking.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew earlier?" I ask

He scoffs "And ruin my fun? I mentioned the shirt, but then you got all pissed and road off with Juice." Koz says, "Anyone gonna eat that?" he asks pointing at Juice's untouched cheeseburger

Happy and I both shake our heads, and Koz scoops up the burger, having already finished his.

"Why'd you leave with Juice?" Hap asks me

"I was starving, and going crazy wondering about you and my Dad in the chapel. Plus everyone kept looking at me funny because I was wearing your shirt." I say, hoping he'll tell me about the chapel conversation

Happy smirks, and then narrows his eyes, "So you didn't change shirts at the clubhouse?"

I sigh, "No, I had Juice drive me to my Dad's so I could change." I say and wave my hand at my cami

"Juice offered her his shirt though." Koz says

Happy growls and curls his hand into a fist, as I elbow Koz in his ribs.

"What, Juice did offer." Koz says around a mouthful of cheeseburger

"Keep stuffing your face, and don't try to help." I tell him

"Excuse me, Mackenzi I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?" I snap my head to the sound of the familiar voice, and see a woman in her early fifties, with blonde hair and green eyes.

"Mrs. Carver, of course have a seat." I say pointing at the small space next to Happy, I nudge him with my foot under the table, "Scoot" I say with a nod towards the window.

Koz laughs as Happy raises his eyebrows at me, but moves further into the booth.

"None of that nonsense, I told you before to call me Trish. Could we talk in private?" she asks eyeing Happy, who's pissed off.

I nod, "No problem." I say standing up, "Uh Koz you wanna move so I can get out or what?"

He smirks, "Just climb over." he says sweeping his hand in front of himself.

Happy growls again, I look at him, "Relax." I say and climb over the back of the seat into the next booth and then slide out.

Trish and I make our way to the counter. "I'm glad you're finally home, where you belong. How you doing sweetie?" she says sitting down on a stool.

I smile "I'm doing good, Trish." I say glancing over at Happy. He's looking between the two of us, curiosity plain on his face. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." She says waving it off. "It's Abby I'm worried about."

I sit up straighter and lean forward. Out of the corner of my eye I see Happy and Koz go on alert, looking around.

I wave letting them know to relax, "What about Abby? What happened?" I ask

Trish shakes her head, "I don't wanna get you all worried too. I'm just wondering if you've talked to her recently."

I take a deep breath thinking, "Last time I heard from her was in a letter about two weeks ago. I wanna call her but things have been a little busy." I say

Trish nods, "She told me, about you two writing back and forth while she's been at college. I'm happy you two haven't lost one another."

I smile, "Me too, I'll fucking kill anyone who messes with her. So what's going on?"

"I haven't talked to her for a few days, which isn't like her. But she could just be getting set for finals or something. I just thought maybe she had called you." She says with a shrug

I narrow my eyes, "Why so worried?"

"She's my daughter I'm always worried about her. I'm sure I'll hear from her soon. I don't want you to worry ok?"

I nod, "I'll call her later tonight."

"You have her number?"

"Yeah, she sent it to me."

Trish stands up, "Ok sweetie I'll let you get back to your lunch with those guys. It's great to see you." She says hugging me, then turns and walks away.

I narrow my eyes at her back and walk back to Koz and Happy, "She's leaving something out." I say to myself sitting next to Hap.

"Who was that chick?" Koz asks

"Abby's mom." I say trying to figure out what's going on with her.

"Who the fuck is Abby?" Koz says

I look at Koz and Hap, they both look confused. "Right you two don't live here." I say to myself shaking my head. _That means Hap's gonna leave,_ I think with a frown,_ I'm not even gonna see him._

"What's wrong?" Happy asks

"Huh? Oh nothing." I say, and then look out the window to reign in my emotions, where I see Trish walking down the street. "Something isn't right though."

Koz knocks on the table, getting my attention. "Hello, who the fuck is Abby?"

"Abby, is my best friend, and has been, my whole life. She's my only friend outside the club. The only one who has been friends with _me_. Not around because of my name or the protection of being close to me brings. Or to wanna fuck Jax" I say.

"Was she at your party last night?" Koz asks.

I shake my head, "She lives about five hours from here, she goes to the University of Southern California."

"So what's the problem?" Happy asks.

"Trish hasn't talked to Abby for a few days, which honestly isn't normal for her. She wanted to know if I've talked to her, but I haven't yet." I say with a frown.

"She's a girl in college; she's probably partying or something." Koz says with a shrug.

I shake my head, "You don't know Abs, she's more of a quiet, sit and study type, instead of a party girl. She always has been."

"She's quiet and doesn't party? Then how is it she's your best friend?" Koz asks disbelieving.

"Oh she parties, when she's with me. But other than that she's pretty shy." I say with a smile thinking of my platinum sidekick. But then I frown, "She's been through some rough times."

Happy's eyes sharpen on me, and he cocks his head.

I shake my head, "Trish told me not to worry. And she was trying to play it off like it's no big deal, but she was really worried."

"Yeah she was." Happy says agreeing with me. I look at him confused but he just shrugs.

I put my hand on his thigh under the table and give it a squeeze, knowing he was looking out for me. "But it was like she didn't want me to know something. I told her I'd call Abby tonight."

I look down at my plate. "Koz what the fuck? You already ate two cheeseburgers and a shit load of fries, but you just _had_ to eat the half left over from mine, and my fries?" I half yell at him

Koz raises his eyebrows, "That wasn't me."

I look at Happy, who shrugs. "It was either that or kill Koz, and I didn't think Clay would be cool with me killin him in the middle of town."

I nod, "A'ight, where's the menu, so I can get some dessert." I say looking around the table. Hap hands it to me, and I give him a smile in thanks.

"Whoa, hold up. You yell at me 'cause you think I ate your food, but Hap says he ate it and your all 'a'ight'? Not cool." Koz says shaking his head.

"That's because you're a douche bag." Hap says, putting his arm around my shoulders, and pulling me into him. I Lean into him, but give him a quizzical look.

"Oh sure, I'm the douche bag. But I tried to keep her at the clubhouse, instead of leaving with Juice, who apparently 'can't lose her'." Koz says using air quotes.

Happy tightens his arm around me, at the reminder. "There's nothing but friendship between Juice and me. If you'd heard the whole conversation you'd know that." I say.

Happy shrugs and says. "Doesn't matter."

I turn my head, look up at him, and cock an eyebrow, "Oh no?" I ask shaking his arm off, and standing up. "I think your both douche bags." I say loudly, walking to the door.

I stand outside the diner, for a minute before sitting down on the curb and looking up at the clear blue sky. "Obviously in fuckin denial." I mumble to myself with a nod.

_Sitting there acting all protective like I'm _his_ one minute, then acting like he doesn't give a shit about anything with me and Juice. He was fucking pissed and he knows it. But if he wants to play games, then two can play that shit._ I think with a smirk.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump. "Shit, Mac you a'ight?" Koz says

I nod still looking at the sky, "Can we get out of here?" I say looking at him, then laughing when I see him holding my purse. "That's a good look for you Kozzy."

Koz smirks, "Matches my Cut and everything." He says holding it out to me.

I nod, "Yeah it does." I say standing and taking my bag from him. "But-," my purse ringing stops me.

I rifle around in my bag and grab my phone. "Hello?" I answer not looking at the caller id because out of the corner of my eye, I see Happy watching me.

"Hey baby girl, where are you?" Gemma says.

"I'm about to leave the diner, why?"

"Your Dad wanted me to call you and have you come by the garage. Wait, Juice has been here for a while, and so has everyone else except Koz and Happy." she says suspicious.

_Two birds, one stone, Perfect!_

"Yeah they double teamed me in the diner, and let me tell you, Tacoma sandwiches are yummy." I say eyeing them both up and down. Koz and Hap raise their eyebrows at me, Happy growls and I smirk.

"Such a wise ass." Gemma says with a smile in her voice. "So you gonna come in or what?"

"Ummm, I don't know hold on." I say to her, and then look at the boys. "Could I get a ride to TM, or did you two wanna fuck me some more first? I know you both have a lot of stuff you wanna do to me." I say with a sweet smile.

Happy starts mumbling and growling to himself, while pacing. I smirk, glad that I have his attention. Koz looks between me and Happy, and smirks.

"What was that?...Oh of course, Koz can fuck me while you watch Hap. Maybe he'll even tie me up first!" I say. "Koz you want me to leave the boots on like I did when I blew you?"

Happy spins around, takes my phone, punches the end button, and shoves it into his pocket, then gets in my face. "I will fuck you right here, right now." He growls quietly, and then moves in closer until I can feel his body on mine, and how ready he is to follow through. "I WILL FUCK YOU UNTIL YOU CAN'T BREATHE." He spits out each word while holding onto my ass, keeping my body flush with his.

I'm not sure how I manage it, when all I want to do is rip his pants off, but I suppress a shiver as I feel all tingly in my belly, and my whole body flushes with heat. "Doesn't matter." I say with a shrug

Hap narrows his eyes, "Really fuckin cute. Do some shit like that again, and I'll be on you before you can fuckin blink." He vows and then gives my ass a squeeze before flinging his body away from mine.

I almost fall, as he literally made me weak in the knees, but Koz catches me by the arm. I'm breathing heavily, and I can tell my eyes are glazed over.

"Marry me?" Koz asks while holding me up

I snap my head over to look at him, and raise an eyebrow. "Dare you to say that a little louder." I say trying to calm my breathing and glancing over at Happy, who's also breathing heavy and standing near his bike looking at the seat.

Koz shakes his head, "Maybe later."

I smirk at him, pulling my arm out of his hold. "What's the matter, you scared of Happy?"

Koz shakes his head, "I've never seen him like this." He says with a nod at Hap.

I cock my head, "Never seen him what?"

"He's jealous and possessive. It's funny and I always love to push his buttons. He's always been fucking lethal, but never over anything except the club." Koz says and walks to his bike.

I look at Happy's back, since he's still staring at his bike. _Could he want me as much as I want him?_

Hap turns around and meets my stare. Then he reaches in his pocket, pulls my cell phone out, and holds it out to me. I walk over to him and take it out of his hand.

"I really do have to go to TM." I say quietly, looking at his 'Men of Mayhem' patch on his cut.

He mounts his bike and holds his helmet out to me. I grab the helmet but he doesn't let go. I look in his obsidian eyes, and freeze at the intensity. "Clay doesn't know anything, he asked but I told him nothing happened." I let out my breath that I wasn't aware I was holding. "But you play with me like that again, and I won't hold myself back from what I wanna do to you, no matter who's around and no matter how ashamed you are about fucking me." He says calmly but voice laced with anger, letting go of the helmet.

I stand there, staring at him dumbfounded. _He lied straight to my Dad's face, because _I_ didn't want him to find out? Wait, did he just say I was ashamed of him?_

I step up to Happy on his bike, and put my hand under his Cut, right over his heart. "I'm ashamed of myself, not you." I say looking in his eyes, he cocks his eyebrow. "I love this club, it's my family; I was born and raised in it. When I was little I was devastated to find out that I couldn't be a Son." I say with a smile remembering my temper tantrum after that discovery. "But I vowed to myself that since I couldn't be in Church, and I wouldn't have a Cut, that I'd protect the club and the members anyway I could, no matter how big or small the issue."

I take a deep breath and look down before looking back in Hap's eyes. "I also vowed that I'd never be an issue for the club again-,"

"What do you mean _again_?" Happy says interrupting me, his eyes sharp.

I shake my head, feeling tears in my eyes, "When I was five-," I start around the lump in my throat.

Koz cuts me off, "What the fuck? Are we sittin on Main Street all day?"

_Oh my God, I was just gonna tell him the whole story. The guys know bits and pieces but _No one_ knows the whole story but me._

Happy glares at Koz, "Shut the fuck up." He hisses, and then turns back to me, "What about when you were five?"

I shake my head again, "Not important." I say with a wave of my hand.

Happy narrows his eyes, "Yeah it is." He says softly.

I look away from him, _he always sees too much_, "So I vowed that I'd never put the club in a difficult position. My Dad's protective, always has been, always will be." I look back into Happy's eyes. "So I knew that getting involved with a Son wouldn't be a good idea."

Happy cuts me off again, "Don't you think he'd want you to be with a Son, that way you'd be safe?" he asks quietly

I give him a sad smile, "After my discovery about not being able to be a Son, I figured I could be an Old Lady. I said something to Gemma about it, and my Dad overheard." I say the memory wrapping around me. "He got so mad, and kept saying that I'd never be that and that he'd never allow it. I didn't understand it, I knew how to cook, and I wasn't stupid, I was around everyone all the time, I saw and heard shit. I knew how to keep secrets." I say sadly.

"I was even more upset than I was when I found out I couldn't be a Son. I was a crying mess; I thought he didn't want me to be an Old Lady because he didn't trust me." I say with a shake of my head. "My Dad sat down with me, once he calmed down, and told me that he didn't want that life for me. Said he, didn't want me constantly worrying. When I told him I always worry about him, and all the guys, he shook his head at me and said, that 'I've been through a lot, and I deserve more, something stable'." I say making air quotes with my free hand.

"Last night you said shit to Clay bout him not having to worry about prospects, but the guys with patches." Hap says

I cock my head, "You were on the other side of the room." I say

He nods, "I was, but I'm not deaf. Everyone heard that shit." He says with a shrug.

I nod, "I love my Dad more than anything, but that doesn't mean that I just let him rule my life. I don't appreciate being told what to do, or treated like an idiot." I say

"I've noticed." Hap says with a smirk.

I give a little smirk in return, and feeling the strong beat, I put a little more pressure over Happy's heart with my hand, "Well I didn't know how my Dad would react, I knew it wouldn't be good, but I couldn't stop my self." I say biting my lip. "I don't regret a second of last night, or this morning."

He narrows his eyes, "But you're ashamed of it." He accuses

I shake my head emphatically. "I'm ashamed of a lot of things, but not at all of making out with you outside last night, or fucking you in your room or giving you head in the shower." I say strongly with conviction.

"Why the fuck is Hap so lucky." I hear Koz say. We both ignore him

"So what are you ashamed of then?" Happy asks

I take a deep breath and step back, withdrawing my hand from his heart. "I'm ashamed that I couldn't control myself, which caused you to be in this position, of lying to your brothers. I'm ashamed for guilt tripping my Dad, about accusing him of calling me a whore." I say looking at my boots. "But most of all," I look up and meet Happy's eyes. "I'm really ashamed that, although I know I _should_ be, I don't regret anything we did, or how much I wanna do it again." I say stepping back from him.

Happy grabs my hand, "Wait, if it's not because of me then," He says looking at me, "Why should you be ashamed of what we did?" he asks confused.

I shake my head, and look down, biting my lip to keep the tears back. _How does he not get what I'm saying?_

"She's ashamed, that she broke her promise to herself about causing trouble for the club. And in order to keep part of that promise, because you two hooked up, she had you lie to protect yourself and to prevent a fight within the club." Koz says

Koz walks up to Hap and clasps his shoulder. "She wants you pretty fuckin badly, man. And that's the kicker, because she's putting the club first." He says with awe, looking at Me. "You really are the perfect girl; if Hap doesn't want you, then I sure as shit will take you."

Happy elbows Koz in the stomach hard, while I narrow my eyes at Koz. "I'm not a fucking dog locked in the pound, I'm not just gonna run to you with my tail wagging because someone else doesn't want me." I spit

"I never said I didn't want you." Hap says, rubbing circles on my wrist with his thumb.

I nod, "I know, but we agree the club comes first."

Hap nods, "We do. For the record, I wasn't just _getting my dick wet_."

I cock my head to the side. "Who said you were." I say looking at Koz, who's rubbing his stomach where Happy elbowed him, I smirk at him.

"Clay said if I wanted to hang out with you that's fine, but 'As far as you're concerned your dick's Gizmo, bad shit will happen if he gets wet. Don't even think about getting your dick wet with my little girl, look else where.'" Hap says

I start laughing hysterically.

Hap raises his eyebrows at me. "What the fuck is so funny? That's exactly what he said."

I start laughing harder, and clutch my side, fighting for breath.

"We sure she's not bi-polar or some shit?" Koz asks

I give him a glare through my giggles. "Dude," I say looking at Happy, "My Dad totally named your dick Gizmo, It totally fits too. He must have forgotten my love for the little guy." I say shaking my head, still laughing.

Happy narrows his eyes at me, "Who the fuck is Gizmo?"

"You know Gizmo the Mogwai." I say, when he gives me a blank look, I stop laughing. "You don't know about Gizmo? How can you not know about him? He's sooo cute."

"Did you just call Hap's dick cute?" Koz asks

I ignore him, and look at Happy. "Haven't you ever seen Gremlins?" he shakes his head. "Koz you've seen Gremlins right?" I ask, looking at him.

Koz shakes his head, "I've heard of it, but never watched it." He says shrugging.

I look between the two of them disbelieving. "Oh not cool, its classic. We're watching it tonight." I say nodding. "Now I should really get to TM, to see what my Dad wants." I say holding the helmet up.

"Sure, hop on." Koz says patting his seat.

"I don't fuckin think so." Hap says pulling me to his bike.

"Relax Cupcake, no one's gonna replace Gizmo." I say with a laugh, getting on his bike and wrapping my arms around his waist.

Happy sighs, "Great another pet name."

"Oh you love the pet names and you know it. Besides you're Cupcake, your dick is Gizmo. Well I guess your dick should be Cupcake since I like to-,"

Happy cuts me off by squeezing my knee and saying, "You startin shit again?"

I scoot myself closer to his back and whisper in his ear, "You started it." I let my lips brush against his earlobe and he shivers.

"And you like to talk dirty." Koz says shaking his head. "Lucky mother fucker." He says looking at Hap.

I see Happy smirk at Koz, "Hold on Strawberry." He warns, squeezing my hands on his stomach, before starting his bike and driving off.

_Oh My God!_ I think a few minutes later as we roar down the street.

All my life I've ridden on motorcycles, with all the different guys. I never understood women being turned on by guys riding motorcycles or by riding on the back of a guy's bike. I've always had a deep love and appreciation for the bikes and the bikers. But I hadn't felt the pull that those women do.

Until riding with Happy.

Anytime I rode on the back of a bike. I was focused on the wind in my hair and on my face, or on the world passing us by on our journey where ever we were headed. But riding with Hap, I can't focus on anything but the feel of his body.

My chest pressed into his back, the inside of my thighs against the outside of his, my arms wrapped firmly around his waist, with my hands on his abs, feeling his steel muscles beneath soft inked skin as he tames and guides the bike.

_Is there anything Happy does that doesn't turn me on?_ I think, with my face buried in the Reaper on his back.

I feel Happy's hand rub my hands, "You a'ight Strawberry?" he asks concerned

I realize I don't hear the engine anymore and slowly lift my head, and see we're in the parking lot at TM.

Happy unlocks my hands from his shirt and stands up off the bike. "Are you ok?" he asks touching my cheek.

"Fine." It comes out shaky and Happy bends down to eye level with me, and takes my hand in his.

"You're shaking, you sure you're feeling alright?" he asks giving my hand a squeeze.

I smirk at him, "I'm missing Gizmo, is all." I say and glance at his pants.

"Jesus Christ you're the horniest chick I've ever met." Koz says, grabbing my other hand and pulling me off the bike and away from Happy.

I hear Happy growl out of protest. "Koz, what the fuck dude? I was busy." I say glancing at Hap on the other side of his bike.

"Exactly" Koz says slinging his arm around me, as Happy comes over to us. "I thought the plan was to make sure there weren't any fights going on 'cause of your hook up."

I roll my eyes at him, "Yeah that's the plan, so why are you touching me?" I ask trying to walk away from him, but he moves with me, keeping me under his arm.

Koz smirks, "Well they can't find out about you two," he says nodding his head to indicate me and Hap. "But they'll all know about us when we get married." He says squeezing me into his side with a half armed hug.

I trip as Happy suddenly pulls Koz's body away from mine by his other shoulder. Happy wraps his arm around my waist catching me, and pulling me into his body, before I hit the ground. The front of my body collides with the front of his, and I throw my arm around his neck as all the air is knocked from my lungs.

I look up at Happy, he's looking at Koz with a look of murderous intent clear on his face, it would scare the shit out of anyone, but it just makes my panties wetter than they already are and my breathing more difficult.

"Relax." I say between breaths

He doesn't look at me. "I'm gonna kill him." He says way too calmly

I dig my nails into Hap's neck a little bit, "He's your brother, why would you kill him?"

"I don't give a fuck; he's touching what's _mine_." He growls lowly, while squeezing me tighter and keeping his eyes on Koz.

I suppress the urge to squeal, and settle for doing a happy dance on the inside. "Cupcake, I need you to relax ok?" I say rubbing his chest with one hand and keeping the other cupped on his neck.

But he doesn't calm down, just keeps trying to pull my body into his, well glaring fiercely at Koz. I look around and see we have quite the audience. Gemma's standing in the doorway to the office, when she sees me looking at her; she gives me an I-told-you-so smirk. I narrow my eyes at her, _not helpful!_

I keep looking around and see a door on the garage closed but quickly pass over it. Piney, Chibs, Tig, Bobby, Jax and my Dad are all standing in front of the closed bay door, watching Koz and Happy, they all look curious, except Tig who looks excited, I'm assuming at the thought of a fight that doesn't look good for Koz. My dad also looks pissed, but not as pissed as Happy does.

Juice and Kip stand a few feet away from the other guys, having been on their way to join them when the Koz and Hap mess started. They both look worried, about who I have no clue, but with something else mixed in. Kip looks understanding. Juice looks confused, and like he's thinking of helping.

I meet Juice's eye and shake my head, knowing it will be _so_ much worse if he comes over. Juice gives me a look questioning my sanity and I shake my head again, this time he nods.

I look up at Happy, _no change, no help, fucking great._ "Cupcake, every-,"

"When will I get my nickname, Beautiful? Before the wedding or you wanna surprise me on our honeymoon?" Koz asks

"Koz, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I hiss

"He's about to get dismembered, _slowly_." He says over my shoulder and takes a step towards Koz.

I don't think, I just act, I jump up and wrap my legs around Hap's waist trying to anchor him. Happy just absorbs my weight like it's nothing, no grunt, not blinking, just focused on Koz. _Fuck he's so strong… FUCK FOCUS!_

"I can't wait to have her like that, I bet she likes it rough too, right Hap?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I hiss at Koz, while Happy steps right into his face, which puts my back _almost _against Koz's chest.

I put my lips to Happy's ear, "Don't listen to him, he's just being an asshole again. I don't want anyone but you, Cupcake." I say kissing his ear, "Only you." I admit putting myself out there, but I'm not sure he can even hear me.

"I can just imagine her wrapped around me, screaming my name while I'm balls deep and pounding into her. Once she fucks _me_, she won't give a shit who knows." Koz taunts.

_Fucking asshole that's below the belt!_

Again I don't think, I just act, I kiss Happy's cheek and unhook my legs, and step away, giving Hap a clear shot.

Koz looks at me surprised. Happy wraps his hand around Koz's throat and squeezes.

Koz laughs, "I didn't think you'd give in so quickly. You got it bad man." He says breathlessly, Happy narrows his eyes. "I don't want her, well I do, but-," he stops and makes a choking sound.

"She's _mine_." Happy hisses.

Koz nods, "Just…. Wanted… to see… how… much you ..Cared." He says gasping

Happy applies more pressure, before pushing Koz backwards by his neck. Koz lands hard on his back in the parking lot, and lays there for a minute before standing up.

Happy's rubbing a hand back and forth over his scalp, looking at the ground and mumbling something.

"Your welcome, Mac." Koz says

I snap my head to him and raise an eyebrow in question.

He smirks, "You wanted to know if he gave a shit. You've grown up in SAMCRO, you know how deep SOA brotherhood is to us. Hap obviously holds the club at number one, since he's willing to stay away from that body of yours." He says looking me up and down. "So what do you think it means that he's willing to kill his brother for you?"

I look over at Happy, and see him watching Koz. He still looks pissed, but confused now too. I smirk at Happy, and then keeping the smirk on my face I walk up to Koz.

"That was really sweet of you Koz." I say with an innocent smile.

"Anything to-," he stops when my fist connects with his nose with a crunch, and blood starts spurting down his face. "WHAT THE FUCK?" he yells, sitting on the ground from the force of my punch.

I look down at him, "I said I didn't want drama between anyone in the club for me asshole!" I say and turn to walk away.

I get about three steps before turning back and crouching down into Koz's face. "You say some shit like that to Hap again, or put him in a position to pick me over anything to do with the club. And I'll slowly gut you like a fish, while you watch, then I'll string you up by your intestines. Got it?" I say calmly.

Koz nods, looking shocked. I smirk and give him a little slap on his cheek, before standing up and walking to the clubhouse, leaving everyone to stare after me.

**A/N- Don't hate me for the cliffhanger! The chapter would have been ridiculously long if i continued it all in one. Reviews make my day and inspire me to keep writing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- I want to say thank you to my reviewers for all the love. It's appreciated more than you know!**

**Just a general rule i think everyone should follow out there; If you don't like swearing, violence, and sex, then i have no clue why your reading Son's of Anarchy fanfiction. The world that SOA live in is chuck full of all three and lots more, so back up and find something else to read if you don't like that shit!**

**The usual shout outs and love to my girl Lauren (Bad Company) who read through my chapters first and let's me know if it makes sense to anyone but me.**

**I OWN NOTHING YOU RECOGNIZE!  
**

***~*Chapter 9*~***

As I reach the door to the clubhouse, a tan hand comes from behind me, grabs the handle and pulls the door open, while pushing me inside with a hand on my lower back. I know who it is, even though I had no clue I was being followed, but I peek over my shoulder none the less.

Happy is looking into the darkness of the clubhouse, not at me, and I can see a muscle ticking in his cheek. _Maybe he's pissed I hit his brother?_ I think as Hap pushes me past the bar._ Why is music playing and no one is in here?_

_Is he taking me to his room?_ I shiver, imagining the hot angry sex. I frown as Happy pushes me into the bathroom and leaves the door open. I stand in the middle of the room, while Hap walks to the sink, turns the faucet on, and adjusts the temperature. _Why is he turning the water on?_

After the water's to his liking, Happy reaches behind him, grabs my hip and pulls be in between him and the sink. "Cupca-," I start but Hap growls so I stop. _Ok no talking_. I think with a shrug.

Hap takes my hands and puts them under the tap. I look down and see blood all over my hands, the bright red turning to pink. I shiver as Happy gently massages the soap into my hands, and between my fingers. I look up into the mirror to see him, but I can't see Hap's face. He rinses my hands and repeats the massaging four times, before he grabs a few paper towels and dries my hands carefully, with my back still to his chest

After drying my hands, Hap takes one in his and leads me to the bar, where he sits down on a stool, grabs the nearest bottle and takes a long drink. I can still see a muscle ticking in his jaw but can't see his eyes. _He's still upset, so why is he being gentle?_

Hap turns slightly on his stool to face me, and I freeze. His eyes are black fire. He's not pissed, he's fucking livid. I thought he looked homicidal in the diner that was nothing compared to how he looks now.

Happy suddenly picks me up by my hips, I squeak as I wasn't expecting it. He picks me up completely, without moving from his seat, and sits me on top of the bar in front of him. So I don't kick or knee him at all, I open my legs.

Happy wraps his hands behind my knees and pulls me closer to the edge of the bar as he stands up. Then he hugs me and buries his face in my neck, breathing deeply. I feel his hand go from my hip, all the way up to my head, before pulling my hair tie out.

As my hair falls around us in dark red waves, I put my hands on his shoulders and pull us tighter together.

"Fuck." Happy growls, fisting my hair in his hand. I can feel his growl though his chest and into mine. "I fucking can't." he says starting to breathe harder.

"Just relax Cupcake." I say soothingly, and rubbing his back a little.

He shakes his head a little bit. "I can't stop seeing it." He says his voice getting deeper.

"I know I shouldn't have hit him. But -." I say hoping he's not too mad at me for punching Koz.

"It's all I can think about." He growls getting more agitated.

I bite my lip "Don't be mad at me, please." I whisper in a small voice.

Happy's hands tighten in my hair and on my hip. "What would make him do that? I'm gonna have to fuckin kill him."

"That shit he- wait did you just say him?" I ask confused.

Happy takes a deep breath and pulls back, meeting my eyes. "I can see you being with him." He says quietly

I shake my head. "I don't want him." I say confidently.

Suddenly it's like a dam broke. "I can see it all. That asshole getting to come home to you every night, You marrying him, you having little blonde and red haired babies, him marking you." He says, the words becoming harder to make out between the growling and the deeper and raspier tone of his voice. "I can't stop seeing him fucking you." He spits.

I put my hands on his cheeks and bring his face in close to mine. "I don't want Koz. I want you Hap. I want my Cupca-."

I'm cut off by Happy kissing me with more passion than I thought possible. His tongue pushes past my lips roughly, and our teeth, lips and tongues collide and tangle with each other. I moan as Happy pulls my body across the bar, supporting all my weight and leaving just a sliver of my ass on the edge of the bar.

Happy breaks away and starts kissing my neck, "I know your sore but I-."

I arch my back and cut him off, "Fuck me, Cupcake." I say moaning and unbuckling his belt

"It's gonna hurt." He warns, as I get his zipper and fly undone.

"Like I give a fuck." I say wrapping my hand around his dick, and stroking

Happy hisses and pulls my hand off him. "I can't be gentle… Fuck are these glued on?" he says trying to unsnap my jeans.

"Who asked for gentle?" I ask with a moan wrapping my arms around his neck, as he finally gets my jeans undone, puts his hand down my pants, and shoves my panties aside roughly.

Hap groans, "Fuck your wet." He says, thrusting a finger into me.

I arch my back and lift my hips, "Only for you." I say shuddering and tightening my arms around his neck, as he fucks me with his finger.

Happy adds another finger and growls into my ear, "Damn right _only_ for me. That talented naughty mouth of yours is _mine_. This curvy little body of yours is _mine_. This tight delicious pussy is _mine_. _Your mine_."

My body flushes with such intense heat at his words that my whole body explodes, into a billion quivering pieces. "Oh Cupcake," I moan riding his fingers. "Fuck Happy!" I whimper as he curls his fingers on every thrust in, lengthening my already amazing orgasm.

"Say it." Happy demands, thrusting his fingers harder.

"Happy." I moan

"No, say _it_." He emphasizes this by sweeping his thumb gently over my clit.

_Say what? Say what? Say it? What is it? _I think moving my hips in time with his hand, when it clicks.

"I'm yours." I whimper.

"Again." He growls, pumping his fingers faster and adding a third.

"I'm only yours Cupcake." I moan, arching my back. Happy circles my clit with his thumb and then presses down hard, "Fuck me, Happy, Cupcake, FUCK!" I moan loudly as intense waves of ecstasy wash over me.

Happy's still moving his fingers slowly inside me as he leans in and kisses me, matching the thrust of his tongue to the thrust of his fingers, Starting fast and hard and ending slow and sensual

I'm still shaking, and my mind is all cloudy, when I pull back. "Please… I need…_Please_…" I plead, wrapping my hand around his dick again.

"What you need," I hear as a door shuts, "is to break this the fuck up before your Dad and all the guys come in here." I hear Gemma say. I snap my head to the left and sure enough, standing in front of the closed clubhouse door is the Queen.

I quickly stuff Hap back into his pants and zip him up carefully, not wanting Gemma to see his dick. I try to pull back from Happy, but his fingers are still inside me, and he's all that's holding me up. Hap pulls his finger out of me slowly, I whimper, and then sets me down.

It's then that I realize that Happy just fingered me on the bar in the clubhouse. I jump down from the bar, and my legs give out.

Hap catches me with his hand wrapped around my arm. "When you gonna learn that your legs don't like to work after I make you cum." He says with a smirk.

"I'm glad you can be so fuckin calm! The guys are gonna be here in a minute and you just fingered me on the fucking _bar_, in the_ clubhouse_!" I hiss, pulling away from him only to have my legs give out again. "FUCK!" I yell as Hap catches me

"Sit down and relax." Gemma says walking over to us.

"Relax?" I ask incredulously. "How can I fucking relax? He's gonna kill Happy." I say looking at Hap, as tears roll down my cheeks.

"Calm down, I can take care of myself Strawberry." He says wiping my tears away, but more just keep coming.

"Fucking stupid. You," Gemma says pointing at me. "Get in the fucking bathroom and lock the door. You-." She points at Hap but I cut her off.

"I'm not gonna leave him to deal with this shit alone!" I say hysterically crying.

Gemma sighs and shakes her head, "Jesus Christ, calm the fuck down. You," she says again pointing at Happy. "Go to your room, wash your fucking hands and take care of that." She says pointing at Hap's hard dick.

I don't move and neither does Happy, he's standing in front of me looking lost while wiping my tears. I see Gemma go around the back of the bar and come up with an arm full of shit. "What the fuck are you doing?" I ask her between my sobs.

"Since it doesn't smell like ass and dirty socks in here, but pussy, I'm gonna use some cleaning supplies on the bar to mask the smell." She says giving me and Hap a glare. "Happy take her to the bathroom and shut her cryin ass in, then go jerk off or take a cold shower or what ever the fuck." She says with a wave of her hand

Happy picks me up, carries me to the bathroom, puts the toilet seat down completely and sits me on it. He looks down at me, with a helpless expression on his face. "It's gonna be fine." He says

I shake my head, "They'll know. My Dad will kill you." I say crying harder.

Hap crouches down in front of me, meeting my eyes through my tears. "It's justified." He says calmly, I give him a shocked look. "I disrespected him last night, and this morning, then I lied to him." He shakes his head. "Then on the bar in the mother charter's clubhouse I finger you, the President's daughter." He says standing up.

I stand and grab his arm. "Happy please… Please don't let them find out….Please…. I can't…..see you hurt….because of…. me…You can't…. You can't die….. Cupcake….. Please Happy…...Please!" I plead hyperventilating and sobbing so badly that I can't even see him through my tears, just a white and black blur.

"You're protecting me?" he asks surprised, I nod my head and he grabs my face in his hands. "Ok calm down I won't let them find out." he says swiping my tears with his thumbs. "Take a deep breath, there ya go relax."

Once my breathing is better and the tears aren't flowing so heavily, Hap kisses me softly on the lips, then my forehead and hugs me. "They won't know, I promise." He pulls back and looks me in the eyes so I can see the honesty there, I nod at him.

"I said _Your_ room Hap, move it!" Gemma says and I hear her heels clicking closer to us.

Happy steps back, smirks at me, then puts the fingers, that were inside me not that long ago, in his mouth and sucks on them with a moan. "Now that's a Strawberry milkshake." Then he turns and walks away.

"Holy fuck." I breathe, backing into the wall for support as my legs start turning to jello again.

"That sums up this whole situation nicely." Gemma says leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. "So, Happy huh?"

I just nod at her, not really functioning.

"Hap got possessive and didn't like Koz touching you." She says knowingly

I nod and bite my lip.

"But it wasn't just because of his arm around you was it? He said something to piss Hap off, didn't he?"

I nod

"That's unlike Happy. You must've blown his mind."

I smirk and nod at her

She gives a little laugh. "So you breaking Koz's nose turned him on then?"

I shake my head. I hear male voices and start to cry and panic again.

"Whoa baby girl, just relax." Gemma says shutting the door and locking it. She walks over to me, grabs my elbow and guides me to the toilet. Once I'm seated, she starts rubbing my back. "You gotta calm down so you can tell me all about what's going on." She whispers.

"Mac? Princess you in there?" I hear my Dad say, knocking on the door.

"Yeah-." I start but stop as my voice sounds more like a croak.

"Yeah Clay we'll be out in a few." Gemma says.

"Is she ok? What the fuck did Koz do to her?" He asks getting pissed.

Gemma quirks an eyebrow at me, "What did he say exactly?" she asks getting protective.

"He heard me and Hap last night. So when they came to the diner-."

"Hello?" my Dad yells banging on the door.

"Just a second, Clay!" Gemma yells, and then waves for me to continue.

I sigh, "When they got to the diner I was talking to Juice, and I was holding his hand."

Gemma laughs, "Oh I bet Hap fucking loved that."

"He wasn't pleased. Then Koz started flirting, putting his arm around me and complimenting me and shit." I say shaking my head. "Hap had to pull Koz's arm off me twice. Scared the shit out of the waitress too." I say with a laugh. "Koz was doing anything to get a rise out of Happy."

"Why aren't they coming out? What the fuck happened?" I hear Jax say confused and angry.

I sigh, "I'll tell you stuff later. But in the parking lot Koz, basically painted a picture for Happy of himself fucking me."

Gemma looks at me surprised. "Happy wanted to kill him. I thought Koz disrespected you or some shit. Not that he was talking about fucking you; well I guess that's out of line for Hap though." She says smiling

"HELLO!" my Dad yells again "What he fuck did he do? WHAT DID KOZ DO?" he spits each word out, and I can just imagine his face all flushed and red.

"Koz said some derogatory shit to Mac, that wasn't appreciated." I hear Happy say.

I instantly jump up from the toilet, go to the door and fling it open. I see the surprised faces of Jax, My Dad, and Happy._ Oops, guess I shouldn't have opened the door open so hard. _

"Koz was an asshole." I say shrugging

Jax narrows his eyes. "You broke his nose because he was being an asshole, that's it?" he asks incredulous

I narrow my eyes back. "Sorry if I don't wanna rehash every word so everyone can get pissed at their brother, and start a fight within the club." I say unapologetic

"Why not? Hap was ready to kick his ass for what he said, so I know it wasn't anything good." My Dad says "What'd he say exactly Hap?"

_Oh shit….. Oh shit…. _

"You're pissed and fighting with me." Jax says confused, before Hap can say anything

_He's confused? Are you fucking kidding me? Does he not remember our _lovely_ exchange when he told me he was married!_

I glare at Jax, and walk up into his face. "Because you refuse to grow the fuck up and see that there's more going on in the world than your dick in some skanky crack whore! People care about you and you just spit in their fucking faces, I'm sick of getting treated like shit by you for actually giving a fuck!" I say and push my way to the bar, seething.

I intend to go straight to the bar and drink. But as soon as I see the bar, I freeze, as I'm simultaneously turned on and guilty. I start pacing in the middle of the room. Take four steps, turn, take four steps, turn, and keep repeating, while running my hands through my hair, and trying to think and calm down.

_Is it so fucking hard for Jax to realize that I lost 5 years of my life because I was trying to protect him, and then he treats me like shit for it? Now he's gonna act all confused, act like he's a victim to my wrath, well fuck him!_

I feel someone touch me, "Good job fucking up Koz's face, Pippi." I hear Tig say, as I turn and swing, connecting with something solid. I hear an _Ooof!_ And then, "What the fuck?" from Tig

"That's two Sergeants' at Arms down, in less than an hour at the hands of Mac." I hear Chibs say with pride

_What's wrong with me? _

"Princess, are you ok?" I hear my Dad ask. I start pacing faster and running my finger through my hair rougher while watching my boots.

_I've always been hot tempered and passionate, but I can't seem to get a grip on my emotions. I'm all over the fuckin place. Laughing, then crying, then yelling, then guilty, what the fuck is wrong with me?_

_It's finally happened. All those doctors told my Dad it would, but we all thought it was bullshit. But it's finally happening._

_I'm losing my fucking mind._

I hear a crash and snap my head up to the sound. My Dad has Koz pinned by his throat against the wall. His face is red with fury, as he moves closer to Koz.

"What the fuck did you do to my daughter?" my Dad bites out roughly.

"_I_ didn't do anything to your daughter." Koz says glancing at Happy, it looks casual, but I can see the implied hint.

"I'm gonna throw up!" I yell, before running to the bathroom. As I make it inside the bathroom, I shut the door with the heel of my boot, and collapse to my knees in front of the toilet, pulling my hair to the side.

After I lose anything my stomach has contained in the last 24 hours, I still kneel there gagging, while worry courses through me. I force myself to get up and go to the sink. I stare at my face in the mirror, "Very patriotic." I say weakly. My face is extremely pale; the only color is from my blue eyes, and the red splotches on my cheeks.

I splash my face with cold water a few times, hoping that it helps snap me out of it. After rinsing out my mouth about a dozen times, I stand in front of the door and take a deep breath.

I jump as I open the door and see Juice standing there. "Didn't mean to scare you, Mac. Are you a'ight?"

I look at the floor and shake my head.

"Sorry," he says softly. "I brought you this, to make you feel better." He says extending his arm to me.

I look up without moving my head and see a bottle of Listerine. "Thanks." I croak out, grabbing the bottle and going to the sink to rinse. After rinsing and repeating three times, I head out to the main room to see what's going on.

I survey the room before anyone notices me. Everyone's tense but relaxed at the same time, sitting or standing around. Koz is sitting on a chair near the pool table without any new injuries visible, while Piney sits across the room and glares at him. Tig's holding his side, as he and Bobby are playing pool. Happy, Chibs, Jax , and my Dad are sitting at the bar. Gemma's standing behind my Dad rubbing his shoulders. Kip's behind the bar serving up drinks. Juice is sitting at a table he must have set up as his personal tech bay. As soon as everyone sees me they go silent, and stare at me.

I bite my lip and without looking at anyone, go sit on the couch, stare at my lap and run my fingers through my hair. _Who zipped my jeans back up?_ I think feeling exhausted all the sudden, as if someone zapped all my energy from my bones.

"Baby girl," Gemma says touching my arm.

I jump and pull my arm away from her. "I've lost it." I whisper.

"Lost what sweetie?" she says angling her body to give me a little bit of space, but not moving away from me.

"My mind." I whisper softly.

"Just because you're crazy about Happy doesn't mean you've lost your mind." Gemma whispers back.

I shake my head, still not looking up. "It's everything else except him. It's too much."

"What do you mean?" she asks

I sigh, "I've missed everyone and everything so much." I say waving my hand around the room, as tears start rolling down my cheeks again. "But everything's wrong. Opie's at the mill, not here. Dad's so stressed, because of me. I wanna be with everyone but I wanna be alone, but I don't wanna be alone. My emotions are all over the place. Everyone keeps watching me. It's too much, I feel like I'm suffocating." I say crying hard and sniffling.

"And Hap?" Gemma asks softly

"He makes it better."

"It?" she asks quietly

I turn my head and look up so only Gemma can see my face. "Everything." I say gently

I'm not sure what she sees in my face, but she smiles a pure joyous smile. "Good, you deserve peace."

I shake my head, "I can't have him."

"Of course you can, Honey." She says.

"No, I can't." I say and start sobbing .Gemma puts her hand on my knee. I jump and scoot over, only to run into another body, I jump again but the body hugs me.

"Relax sweetheart, I got ye." I hear Chibs say. My sobs start coming harder as I struggle to break his hold. Chibs must realize what I want as he lets go. I jump up from the couch and walk blindly for a few feet until I run into someone else.

"Princess, what's wrong? What can I do?" my Dad asks from above, his voice helpless as he holds me. I think of what he'd do if he knew about me and Hap, and feel panic wash over me as I start hyperventilating and shaking.

"Fuck she's having a panic attack." I hear my Dad say. "Chibs get over here and help her like you always do."

"She don't want me, I just made it worse." Chibs says sadly

"What are we gonna do? How can we get her to relax?" my Dad asks panicked.

"Move." I hear Koz say before someone pushes me onto a seat and holds onto my arms firmly so I don't fall, as I'm shaking and struggling for breath. "Sit here." Koz's voice is right above me, I realize he must be holding me.

I start struggling harder, trying to prevent a fight, when suddenly there are no arms holding me and I fall into the side of another body. The person wraps their arm around me; I struggle until I take a ragged breath in, my first breath in what feels like forever to me, but is probably only a matter of seconds.

I scramble and force my body as close as possible to this person, as soon as I feel satisfied that I've burrowed my way close enough to my refuge, I take a deep breath in. I smell leather, man, soap, and something spicy and sweet. It only takes a second for it to click what the scent is.

_Happy._

I fight with my eyelids to open but they won't budge. I give up on my eyes and focus on everything else. I can feel his arm wrapped strongly around my hips, while his other hand is buried in my hair massaging my scalp, and holding my head in the crook his neck, while I'm still crying.

"Shhh, I got you." I hear Hap whisper in my ear.

I shiver, whimper, and tighten my grip in his shirt and around his neck, breathing his strength in. _No, I'm not losing my mind. I'm fine when I'm with Happy. _

"Nothin's gonna hurt you. I won't let it." He rasps into my ear so quietly I can barely hear him. I feel his fingers rubbing back and forth on my bruised hip. "Even me." He continues even quieter.

"How is it that she's relaxed already? Usually it takes at least 20 minutes." I hear Tig say.

I push my body tighter to Hap's. I don't know where we're sitting, but I'm definitely straddling him. It's not the fact that I'm all up on him like this even during a panic attack, that surprises me, it's the fact that I calmed down so quickly once my subconscious registered it was him holding me.

"Mac trusts Happy." My Dad answers with a shrug in his voice.

"She trusts Hap more than Chibs?" Jax asks incredulously.

"Aye, that's what it looks like Jackie Boy."

"Why? She's never trusted me like that. Or even Clay." Jax says confused

"You were too young, and I wasn't there when she needed me." My Dad says sadly

"I can hear you." I croak out, my throat feeling like sandpaper, my voice is weak and breathy and doesn't carry to anyone but Happy. The guys talking about me like I'm not there, and bringing up the past, brings more waves of panic and sadness through me.

Hap stops moving his hands, and I feel the rumble in his chest before he speaks. "How about being helpful and shutting the fuck up?" he growls

"She needs quiet so she can relax, she needs to go home." Gemma says, her voice getting closer.

"I don't have one." I mumble weakly into Hap's neck, new tears falling onto his skin.

"Sweetheart, why don't we go get in the car, and I can take you home to get some sleep." Gemma says, and then puts her hand on my shoulder.

I jump as if someone stabbed me, "Happy." I whimper, burrowing into and clinging on to him with all my strength, and shaking.

"Hap, would you take her home?" I hear my Dad ask

I feel Happy nod his head, "She can't ride on a bike like this." He points out.

"I'll drive you both, and someone can bring your bike later." Gemma says

Hap nods again, stands up and starts walking, as I wrap my legs around his waist. He stops after a few feet, "How'd you know she wanted me?" He asks curious

"Hap, she tried to stop you from hurting me because of the club drama it'd bring. But then she was willing to let you kill me, your brother, because I pushed you too far. She put you first." Koz says quietly

Happy tightens his grip on me, "Why would she do that for me?" he asks himself quietly.

Koz gives a little laugh, "Hell if I know why she choose you. But it seems little Mac has it bad for the big bad killah from Tacoma."

"I'm not little." I say weakly and tilt my head, but keep my head in Hap's neck, to see Koz. I smile slightly when I see dried blood on his nose, and his eyes black and blue.

Koz smiles back, but flinches. "Fuck that hurts." He mumbles

My smile stretches, "That'll teach you to talk shit, won't it?" I ask my voice hoarse.

"He never stops talking shit." Happy says shaking his head. "One of these days someone's gonna teach him a lesson." He threatens quietly

"But I broke his nose." I complain softly

Koz chuckles, "Darlin' this isn't the first time it's been broken, but it's the first time a chick has broken it. And such a sexy, fiercely hot chick at that."

I bring my foot back and kick at him.

Koz catches my boot in his hand. "Whoa there Little Red, I know you said you'd gut me but I thought you meant with a knife. Not with the heel of these fuck me boots." He says examining my boots.

Hap grabs my foot from Koz, and pulls it around his waist. "Hands off." He growls

I smile, and put my face in his neck, "Can we get out of here?" I ask

Happy nods, and starts walking away. I kiss his neck lightly.

"Hey! I thought we were watching a movie tonight?" Koz yells to us.

"We are, _you _aren't." Happy says back, as California sunshine washes over us. I groan, and wince as the light burns my eyes. Hap pushes my head further into his neck; I kiss his neck in thanks.

"It's about time, what took so long?" Gemma asks

"Happy, take care of my little girl, stay with her." My Dad says

Hap nods his head, as I hear a car door open. I lift my head as Happy gets in the front seat, without even attempting to separate us, and shuts the door. I peek out the window and see my Dad and Gemma talk for a second before sharing a kiss.

"How you feelin sweetie?" Gemma asks a minute later, as she gets in and starts the car.

"Better." I whisper, my throat burning with the effort to talk.

"The comedown is always hard" she says knowingly from our past experiences, shaking her head. "I've thought about what you said before, and I think I know what will help."

"No therapy." I rasp, as my body starts to ache from my previous sobs and hyperventilating.

Gemma shakes her head. "This is only a suggestion; I think it will help, even though I don't really want you to do it." She takes a deep breath, "Maybe if you got your own place, than everything would be easier on you."

I don't say anything, just sit there unsure of what she's saying.

"I love having you at the house, but you've never been fully comfortable there." I give her a surprised look. "Yeah I can tell honey and its ok, I get it. But if you get your own place then you don't have to be around people 24/7. Just think about it ok, there's no rush."

I nod my head, "I want my own place."

Gemma nods and smiles, "Of course you do. You planning on having Hap sneak into your room so you can fuck around like you did on the bar?"

I bury my head in Hap's neck fully, "She saw us." I say and Happy starts rubbing my back

Gemma laughs, "I only came in at the end, and I already knew it was Hap in the parking lot."

"What would Clay do if he knew?" Happy asks

"Knew which part exactly? That you two fucked last night? Or that you fingered his little Princess on the bar?" she questions with a smile.

"He told me not to get me dick wet." Hap says, "If he knew all of-." He's cut off by me laughing.

"What's so funny?" Gemma asks me

"Gizmo." I say between laughs.

"Not this shit again." Hap mumbles

"Gizmo?" Gemma prompts. I start laughing harder.

Happy sighs, "This morning Clay told me to think of my dick as Gizmo, get him wet and bad shit will happen."

Gemma starts laughing.

Hap turns his head and looks at her. "I don't get what's so funny."

Gemma takes a few deep breaths trying to calm her laughter, "What's so funny is that Mac use to have a stuffed Gizmo and took it everywhere with her. She always loved that damn thing." She glances at me, "Your calling his dick Gizmo now aren't you?"

I nod and she starts laughing harder. "Leave it to your Dad to threaten the guy you slept with unknowingly, and refer to his dick as something you love." I nod again giggling.

"What is Gizmo?" Hap asks

"You'll see, we have Gremlins on DVD right Gem?"

"Yeah, it should be in the DVD rack next to the TV."

"So what would Clay do?" Hap asks again

Gemma sighs and looks out her window. "I'm not sure, but I know he'll be pissed." She says lighting a cigarette. "He doesn't want Mac to be an Old Lady. But he doesn't want her with some nine to five douche bag either." She shakes her head and exhales, "He just wants her to stay his pretty little Princess."

I shake my head and bury it as far as possible into Hap's neck, "He's not gonna find out. I won't have anything happen to you because of me." I take a deep breath as I feel panic lapping at the edges of my brain, "Plus you live in Tacoma," I say and wince. "It's not like we can fuck like bunnies, you got a big dick Cupcake but not that big." I say trying to cover up my sadness.

"Cupcake? Happy doesn't strike me as a Cupcake, Mac." Gemma says.

I kiss Hap's neck, pull back, look at his face and smirk. "Oh, he's definitely a Cupcake." I say and lick my lips.

"Strawberry." He says

I raise my eyebrows, "Yes?"

"You're not ready for any of that shit right now." He tells me

I smile at him, "I'm always ready for you."

"Now's not the time." He says roughly

I shift my hips slightly in his lap. "You're ready for me too."

He narrows his eyes, "Strawberry." He growls out in warning.

"But -."

"You just had a panic attack. I'm not gonna fuck you right now." He says to me.

I bite my lip and nod, "It's probably for the best."

Happy raises his eyebrows, "You gonna tell me that I can't handle you again? I think we both know that you're the one who can't handle me."

I cock an eyebrow, "Like your unaffected?" I ask weakly, feeling drained.

Hap smiles and I lean into him, "Let's just get you inside, a'ight?" he asks opening the door. I realize the car hasn't been moving for a little while.

"Happy," Gemma says as Hap starts to get out of the car, he turns back to her. "She'll try to act like she's fine, but right now she's exhausted and her body hurts from the attack."

"I'm right here." I say

"Like you'd complain to someone, that you feel like shit." Gemma says exasperated. "There's food in the kitchen so help yourself and try to get her to eat something."

"I'm not hungry. Wait your not coming in?" I ask not moving from Happy's neck

"I gotta get back to the garage. I don't care what you two do, but stay with her." She continues.

Happy nods, "I will." He says getting out of the car. "You got keys Strawberry?"

I nod, "In my purse." I mumble

"Why do you have such a big bag and barely anything in it?" he asks.

I lift my head a little bit and see him digging though my purse, "Gemma bought it for me." I say dropping my head onto his shoulder

Hap nods as he pulls the key out of my purse, and unlocks the door. "Where to?" he asks shutting the door.

"My room."

"You're tired I don't think we should-."

"I'm not being seductive, I just wanna take a bath." I mumble cutting him off

Hap nods, "I don't know where your room is."

"Upstairs, second door on the left."

I must doze off because one second Hap's still next to the front door and the next he's standing outside my bedroom. "Why are you just standing here?" I ask sleepily

"You were asleep." He says with a shrug.

I try to unhook my legs from his waist but he's still holding me up. "Cupcake you can let me down." I say

Hap let's go of my legs slowly, as if he's afraid I'll fall. Once I'm on my feet he holds my hips for a minute, I grab his hands and squeeze before releasing them and stepping back. I flick on the light so he can see since its dark because the curtains are closed.

"Somebody loves purple." Happy says leaning against the door frame.

I sit on my bed, start taking my boots off and look at him, "Are you scared of purple?" I ask with a smile

Happy furrows his eyebrows, "No why?"

"Because you won't come in." I say pulling my second boot off and standing.

Hap steps into the room as I start undoing my jeans. "What are you doin?" he asks taking a step back

I raise my eyebrows at him, "Well usually I don't wear clothes when I take a bath." I say as I pull my jeans off. I head into the bathroom and throw them in the hamper, while I'm there I see my dress and bra from last night, and head back out to Happy.

Hap's standing in front of my desk his back to me, with his head cocked staring at all my sketch pads.

"Hey did you happen to see my panties from last night?"

Happy turns around quickly, smirks, and puts his hand into the inside pocket of his cut. "Found these when I went to shower." He says pulling out my while lace panties and dangling them from his finger.

I walk up to him to grab them but he lifts them over my head and out of my reach. "Cupcake, what the fuck?"

"What do I get for finding these?" he asks his smirk still in place, and swings my panties a little bit.

I cock my head, "So we can fool around then?"

Hap looks my body up and down and I shiver, "We can't" he says simply

I pout at him and he narrows his eyes, "Don't give me that. I want you, fuck do I want you, but Gemma's right your tired and you need to at least take eat something and sleep a little bit."

I sigh and keep my pout in place, as I turn and go into the bathroom. I turn on the faucet in the tub and adjust the temperature to a nice warm bath, and plug the drain. I then turn to head over to the closet, but run into Happy.

"Jesus why are you so quiet?" I ask as he holds me up by my hip.

He shrugs "It's part of the job." He says letting go of me.

I nod, walk past him to the closet; grab a bottle of bubble bath and a hair tie. "I'm glad your so quiet then." I say as I turn around to face him, while pulling my hair into a high bun.

Hap looks confused, "You're glad I'm quiet?"

"Of course I am, "I say lifting my shirt over my head. "If you weren't quie-."

"You shouldn't be around me." He says suddenly, cutting me off.

I raise my eyebrow. "Why the fuck not?"

Hap rubs his scalp, "I'm not a nice guy, I-."

I cut him off with a scoff. "You've been nice to me."

Happy shakes his head, "No I'm not. I fucking hurt you." He bites out pointing at my hip.

I wave it off. "It doesn't hurt. And it's not like you did it on purpose."

"It's dark fucking purple, it has to hurt. And that's the point, I hurt you and I didn't mean to."

I shake my head, turn around and pour bubbles into the water. "Shit, it wraps around your hip completely." He says as I feel his fingers ghosting over it, I shiver. "See it fucking hurts, don't lie." He says roughly pulling his hand back.

I spin around, grab his hand and line it up perfectly, finger tip to finger tip and palm to palm, with the bruise and meet his eyes. "It doesn't hurt at all. It turns me on actually."

He cocks an eyebrow. "It turns you on that I hurt you?"

I shake my head. "It doesn't hurt." I say and push his hand hard on my hip. "It turns me on because it's your hand on my body and it reminds me of last night. And how much, I want you again." I let go of his hand and unhook my bra.

Happy steps back, but looks at me like a starving man. I raise my eyebrows and pull my panties off. He steps back farther, "We can't." he says shaking his head.

I step into the tub and look at him. "You say you're not a nice guy, yet you're willing to suffer with a hard on because I had a panic attack. Yeah you're a total asshole" I say sarcastically

I slide down into the tub with a moan. "Damn this feels good." I say sighing and closing my eyes.

Happy groans at my words and moan. "Maybe I'm just being respectful to your Dad." He says

I give a weak scoff, "Says the guy who was carrying my panties in his pocket."

I hear a noise and roll my head to the side to make sure he's ok. But he's no longer at the door; instead he's sitting on the closed toilet lid.

"So you like ducks?" he asks obviously trying to ignore my nakedness.

"No not ducks. Rubber duckies." I say pointing to my shower curtain. "I picked rubber duckies for my bathroom when I was little. No reason really, just that they were cute." I say with a shrug.

Happy nods. "What do you draw?" he asks tilting his head toward my room.

"A little bit of everything really. Just whatever I think fits a particular blank page." He nods his head knowingly, so I venture a guess. "What about you, what do you draw?"

He smiles, "Well now, mostly I draw up tattoos."

I sit up straight, "Tattoos? Like you're a tattoo artist?" I ask a little breathless

Happy looks at me worried. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head, "You're a tattoo artist?" I ask again

He nods his head slowly, "Mostly for the guys in the club, or their Old Ladies. What's wrong with tattoos? You seemed to like mine." He says confused

I shake my head "I love tattoos, especially yours."

Hap cocks his head, "Why don't you have any."

"I've wanted to get tattooed forever, and my Dad said I could after I turned 17 but I was locked up."

He nods, "What's stopping you now?"

I bite my lip. "Well I have this piece I've wanted to get, but I've never found the right artist."

"What are you looking for in an artist that's so hard to find?"

"Since it's a tribute to my family I want the artist to be a Son." I say looking right at him.

"Me, and Sketch from the Oregon charter, are the only tattoo artists on this coast."

I nod and bite my lip, "Would you consider tattooing me?" I ask hesitantly

Happy eyes light up and his hand twitches. "You'd let me tattoo you?"

I nod "I'd like to see some of your work though."

Hap nods, "I've tattooed Juice."

"You've tattooed Juice? You wouldn't have happened to have done his half sleeve with the skull and crosses on his shoulder?" I ask about ready to jump out of my skin

Happy nods, "Yeah I've done all his tats except the lightening bolts on his head."

I jump out of the tub and into his lap. "Will you tattoo me Cupcake?" I ask throwing my arms around his neck.

Hap's looking down at my body, "Yeah just show me what you want, and I'll do it." He says and licks his lips.

"Seriously? You'll tattoo me, 'cause you don't have to if you don't want too." I say, my voice betraying how excited I am at the idea of Hap tattooing me,

Happy just nods, so I lift his face with my hands, but he's still looking down my body. I look down to see what the problem is, and see that I'm naked and dripping bubbles and bath water all over him.

"Shit, I forgot I was in the tub, and now your clothes are all wet." I say as I move to stand up off him.

His hands stop me, "What's the rush?" he asks pulling me closer to him.

"Well there …" I trail off and moan as his fingers start twirling my nipple ring. I arch my back and grind my hips into his.

Happy puts his lips to my ear and whispers, "I could play with your body for days, and you'd never tire of it, would you?" he asks twisting my nipple a little harder.

"No" I whimper and push my hips harder into him

"I'll make you cum so many times and so hard that you won't -." He stops as his phone starts ringing.

I groan, put my hand in his pocket, pull his phone out and hand it to him.

Hap answers the phone with a growl, "Yeah?... Sure Mav."

As soon as I hear Hap say Mav, I know who he's talking to and jump off him. Happy gives me a curious look and I motion for him to go into my room, he shrugs then nods, before standing up and walking out of the room.

I unplug the tub, and turn the shower on to rinse off. I decide to take longer than necessary and wash and condition my hair twice, and wash my body thoroughly, before pulling the shower curtain aside to step out.

Hap's leaning against the door frame, waiting for me with a towel in his hands. "Why'd you jump off me?"

I take the towel from him and start drying myself. "I didn't feel like dry humping you while you were talking to my Uncle."

Happy raises his eyebrows, "Your uncle? Maverick's your uncle?"

I nod my head and start drying my hair, "Yeah your President is my uncle, well not in blood, but in the sense that he's known me forever and has always been there." I say wrapping my towel around my body

I try to walk past him into my room and he grabs my arm. "Why are you so freaked out by me talking to him?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "I forgot that he was your President. But I didn't forget that he and my Dad have been best friends since before they were part of the first nine. Even before they served together."

Hap lets go and I walk into my room straight to the dresser and pull out a pair of white sleep shorts that have red and gold cherries all over them and a black cami. I pull them on then make my way to my bed and throw myself down.

"It makes sense then. He told me to tell you that he's sorry he couldn't make it and he hopes to see you soon."

I turn my head and look at Hap, who hasn't moved from the door way to the bathroom. "How'd he know you were with me?" I ask confused

"He called your Dad to talk to you, and Clay told him that you were with me, so he called me. I told him you were in the shower or you would have talked to him."

I nod, "I'll have to call him back sometime."

I'm still looking at Hap as he starts running his hand over his head. "That's not all he wanted." He says hesitantly. "Koz and me gotta leave tomorrow." He whispers

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. "He's the President of your charter, so of course he wants you two back." I squeak out past the lump in my throat.

I knew he wouldn't be staying long, but I didn't think he'd be leaving so soon. I feel the bed dip next to me, and then Hap's hand on my cheek.

"Why are you cryin Strawberry?" he asks softly

I figure what he hell, he's already seen me have a fucking panic attack, "I'm gonna miss you." I say as sobs run through my body.

Hap picks me up and holds me. I pull back from him. "Take your clothes off."

He looks at me confused, "I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but you aren't feeling up to it, and don't even say you are." The words aren't harsh but sad and caring.

I nod, "I know, but your clothes are all wet." I say wiping at the waterfalls on my face.

Hap nods and takes everything off but his boxers; as soon as he's clear of his wet clothes I launch myself at him and hold on. Happy sits on the bed and holds me too him like during my panic attack.

"You shouldn't miss me" he says

"Why not?" I question between sobs

Happy sighs, "I'm no good for you."

I shake my head, "Yes You -."

"Shhh, just relax a'ight." He says leaning back, "Let's just take a nap for a little while."

All the sudden the day's chaotic events catch up with me, while Happy holds me as I cry. My eyes start drooping, even as new tears continue to fall. My body relaxes into his, as I feel his heart beating under my cheek. I feel the rumble in his chest as my eyes win their battle for peace.

"You deserve better than me, Strawberry."

***~*A/N- Reviews keep me inspired to keep writing...**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- This chapter is short. i had a case of writers block smack me in the face, but i pushed threw it, thanks to Lauren (Bad Company).I'm seriously not sure what this story would be without her helping me sort threw all my shit!**

**I'm not gonna give warnings before smut, since it lets you know its gonna happen. So just expect any and all things associated with SOA!**

**When you see a '-BIA-' that's just to indicate time passing.**

**I own nothing...  
**

***~*Chapter 10*~***

I'm sleeping soundly, when suddenly something makes me snap awake. As I open my eyes I see someone must have shut my bedroom light off, it couldn't have been Happy since he's asleep under me, the sound of his relaxed shallow breaths above my head. I frown wondering what woke me up.

My bladder makes it known that it needs to be relieved. I scoot my body over but Hap has a strong hold on me. I look down and see my whole body on top of his, chest to chest and hip to hip, my head in his neck and my hand over his heart. I smile down at him.

"Where you goin?" he rumbles, not opening his eyes

"Bathroom."

He nods his head a little bit. "Hurry up."

I raise my eyebrows, but don't say anything since I'm pretty sure he's still asleep. Hap lets me go; I stand and make my way to the bathroom. After I'm done in the bathroom I make my way back to Happy, almost tripping over his boots as I near the bed, I shake my head and stop next to the bed.

I look down and admire Happy, since we were sleeping on top of the comforter instead of under it. A light from the hall way is shining into my room, providing just a little bit of illumination. His strong chest, delicious abs, and sexy V cut of his hips on display as, he sleeps in his black boxers. Hap's tan and tattooed body sticking out boldly and beautifully on my lavender comforter.

"Why you lookin at me like that?" Hap asks his voice rough with sleep. I jump and he puts his hand on my hip. "Shit your freezing, get in here." He says lift his body and pulling the blankets down, before pulling me onto the bed.

I kneel next to him and bite my lip, "You look really sexy." I say looking from his face to his abs and slowly back up again.

Hap shakes his head, slings his arm around my hips and pulls me over to him, before throwing the blankets over us. I put my leg over his legs and my head on his chest, but Happy doesn't approve and picks me up, placing me on top of him like I was before.

"And you say you don't cuddle." I mumble into his neck, shifting around a little to get closer to him.

Happy groans and puts his hands on my hips, stopping my movements, as I feel his erection right against me. I shift my hips against his hold, and am rewarded with a little bit of friction, and a rumble from Hap's chest. I moan and smile into his neck.

"We're not alone in the house, and your door is open." Hap points out.

"I'll go shut it." I say sitting up on top of him, which just pushes our hips together even more.

"Don't you fuckin dare." He tightens his grip on my hips and pulls me tighter to him.

I moan, "Don't what?"

Hap groans and lifts his hips, "Don't get off me."

I push my hips back at him, "Someone will hear."

"Just be quiet." He rasps

I raise my eyebrows at him, "I can't be quiet with you."

Happy smirks, "No, you can't." he says before sitting up and kissing up my neck. "I guess I'll just have to keep your mouth busy." He says kissing me and shifting our hips to match his tongue.

I realize, as Hap dominates my mouth with his, that I love his kisses. Their just like him, unpredictably sweet at times, then rough and dominating. Everything I want in a kiss, like how it makes my whole body tingle with need for him, and some things I didn't know I wanted, like his hand in my hair or the way he guides his fingers over my skin.

Happy pulls back completely and I whimper. "What are you doin?" I ask grinding my hips into him and breathing heavily.

He's breathing heavily too, and lays back. "Your Dad's here." He says as I hear the roar of a motorcycle. I sigh and he pulls me down to lay on top of him again. "Just try to relax."

I scoff quietly as our faces are only a few inches apart, "How can I relax, when you kiss me like that?"

Hap smirks, "You admitting you can't handle me Strawberry?"

I cock my eyebrow at him, "Like you don't have an issue." I say sticking my hand in his boxers and stroking his dick.

He groans, "What if your Dad comes in here?" he asks breathlessly, as I stroke him slowly and firmly.

I lean in and kiss his lips lightly, "I guess your just gonna have to be quiet." I say before biting his bottom lip hard.

Hap's dick twitches in my hand, and he thrusts his hips. "I can't let you jerk me off."

I lick his bottom lip to sooth it, "Stop me then." I challenge as I twist my wrist and lightly trace the ridge where the head meets his shaft with my thumb.

He grits his teeth, "I don't want to."

I slip my other hand into his boxers and move back on his thighs farther, "Then don't" I say before making a ring with my middle finger and thumb at the base of his dick and gently tugging downward.

"Why me?" he grounds out.

I cup and fondle his balls, while continuing stroking downward with just my finger and thumb and lean into whisper in his ear. "Because your _mine_."

Happy groans and thrusts his hips harder, I take the hint and speed up my strokes a little. On an upstroke I feel precum, and collect it on my thumb before pulling my hands off him.

Hap looks at me a little pissed off. "What the fuck are you doing?" he says his breathing not even.

I smirk at him and lick around my thumb, avoiding the precum, before sucking it into my mouth with a moan, while keeping my eyes on his. "Can't handle me, Cupcake?" I ask after popping my thumb out of my mouth.

His eyes flash, and he thrusts his hips. "Don't play with me." He growls

I smirk and pull my shirt off, "I thought you liked me playing with you." I say putting my hand in my shorts, gathering some of my wetness and then pulling my hand out and wrapping it back around him and stroking.

"Did you just…" he trails off on a groan, as I take a firmer grasp on him.

I keep eye contract with him, "Did I just touch my pussy and then wrap that same hand around your hard cock?" I lean in and whisper in his ear. "Yes, I did. You feel how wet you make me?" I ask stroking a bit faster

He makes a noise low in his throat, while shifting his hips to try and make me stroke faster.

I take his lead, and stroke a lot faster and twist my hand to massage the head of his dick on every stroke. "You like me playing with your dick don't you Cupcake?"

Hap doesn't answer in words, but grabs my hair in his hand and pulls me into him for a sizzling kiss. I speed up my movements even faster, and basically fuck his mouth with my tongue to match my strokes, when suddenly Happy shudders and I feel him cum in my hand.

I'm still stroking him lightly when he wraps his hand around my wrist to stop me. "You make me cum faster than a fuckin teenager." He says as I reach down and grab my towel from earlier to clean him up

I kiss his neck, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is." He says as he sticks his hand in my shorts.

I stop his hand this time, "You don't need to do that." I say breathlessly

"Why not? Your dripping wet for me." He says lightly running his fingers up and down my slit.

I bite my lip to hold back my moan, "I just wanted to take care of you." I say pulling his hand off me.

"I-." I cut him off by putting my hand over his mouth.

"Shhh, someone's coming." I say hearing footsteps on the stairs. I feel Hap nod and pull my hand away, before burying my face in his neck.

"How long have they been like that?" I hear my Dad ask a couple minutes later.

"Since before I got home. I came up here and the light was still on, but they were both out." Gemma answers

"They both better have clothes on." My Dad growls.

Gemma laughs quietly. "Relax, they do."

"He has to leave." He says

Gemma scoffs, "You gonna wake him up and kick him out?"

"Hap's gotta go back to Tacoma tomorrow." My Dad says bringing tears to my eyes. "I've never seen her relax and trust someone so completely. Yet Happy is here for less than twenty-four hours and she gives him her number one protector spot. I don't like it."

"She trusts him a lot, and she doesn't trust easy so this is a huge step for her; it's just too bad he has to leave so soon." Gemma says sadly

"Hap's always stopping through, so she'll see him." Is the last thing I hear my Dad say as I fall back into unconsciousness.

**-BIA-**

The first thing I think when I wake up is that something isn't right. I listen to try and figure out what it is. I hear the birds chirping outside my window, but other than that nothing sticks out. I shrug my shoulders and chalk it up to post-jail paranoia.

"Fucking birds." I grumble, turning over and burying my face in my pillow.

It's then that I realize that Happy isn't in bed with me. I figure he's in the bathroom, maybe taking a shower. When I register that I don't hear the shower, I finally open my eyes and sit up. My room looks how it did yesterday nothing out of place as far as I can tell. My door is open though, and I'm topless so I lean down to grab my cami, and freeze.

Happy's clothes and boots are gone. My whole body breaks out in a cold sweat, I quickly stop myself from over reacting, _He wouldn't just leave without saying bye, maybe he's eating downstairs._ This seems totally plausible to me, so I nod as I pull my cami on, and get out of bed.

I head to the bathroom to do the morning routine, before heading down stairs. When I reach the living room, my stomach gives a loud rumble as I'm enveloped in the smell of bacon and pancakes. I basically sprint into the kitchen to get the food my body is aching for.

I saddle up to Gemma at the stove and grab a strip of bacon, fresh and hot from the stove, from a plate, moaning as the flavor is like heaven on my tongue. I quickly grab another piece and shovel it into my mouth.

"Jesus, chew before you choke." Gemma admonishes

"So…. Hungry…" I mumble around a third piece of bacon.

She raises her eyebrows, "Because you worked up an appetite or because you didn't eat anything last night?"

I look around and pale.

Gemma mistakes my actions. "Relax; your Dad went into the shop when Hap left."

I shake my head, as I feel my eyes burn but no tears come. _Huh, I must have out cried myself yesterday_. I feel detached yet irrationally angry.

_Why am I so angry? He just left without saying bye, just like any other Son would do with a chick they were hooking up with._

"Fucking idiot!" I say smacking myself on the forehead when I realize my mistake. Just because he seemed different than the rest doesn't mean he is. Just because he acted like he gave a shit doesn't mean he does.

"Whoa, what's the problem?" Gemma asks snapping me back into reality.

"What's the problem? What's the fucking _problem_?" I ask incredulously. "The problem is I'm a fucking retard! And he's a fucking asshole! Son of a fucking bitch!" I say picking something up and throwing it against the wall.

"What the fuck?" Gemma yells.

I whirl around to face her, hoping for a fight. But Gemma looks confused, and pissed. And then after studying me for a minute understand and pity dawn on her face, so I turn away from her, hating to see her pity me.

"He just left." She states quietly

I nod, "I'm so fucking dumb. How could I fall for that bullshit? I've grown up around Tig for Christ sakes, how could I not see that he was playing me?" I ask myself pacing. "I broke my cardinal rule, because I felt different around him, and I thought he fucking cared. _IDIOT_!" I shout

"Sweetheart I think he does care-."

I spin around, glare at her hard, and scoff. "Yeah fucking right! I don't wanna talk about this shit, not a fucking _word_." I say before turning my back on her, grabbing a plate and fixing it full of food.

"So what, you just gonna eat your issues away?" she asks, putting her hand on my arm to stop me from piling up more bacon.

"I've had a few rough days, and I'm starving so I'm gonna refuel and then head back to bed." I say not looking at her

"Mac, you just slept like fifteen hours straight."

I shrug, "I'm tired." I say sitting down at the table

"Honey, it's not healthy to stay in bed all day." She says sitting down across from me.

"It's not healthy to be me." I say, filling my fork with pancake, and stuffing it into my mouth.

Gemma sighs, "Why don't you come into the garage with me today?"

"I wanna be alone."

"How about for just a few hours and then someone will bring you home?"

I scoff, "And then they'll stay until you get here, or my Dad."

"We all just wanna help."

"You know what would help?" I ask looking up at her for the first time. "If you could find me a place to live, that'd be real helpful."

Gemma runs a hand through her hair. "Don't be a bitch to me, because your pissed at Happy for leaving like he did."

I push my now empty plate away. "I'm tired." I say standing and walking to the stairs.

"You gonna take care of your plate?"

I shake my head and run up the stairs. As soon as I get to my room I shut the door, throw myself into bed, and pull the covers over my head. As my brain runs into over drive.

_How could this hurt so much? I'm pissed that he just left me like that but how is it I feel like an absolute idiot and also like I just got my heart ripped out? I wanna run into Hap's arms but at the same time_ _I wanna punch the shit out of him._

My sheets seem to start taunting me of what I'm missing, as the smell of Happy is surrounding and caressing my senses. Since I'm too exhausted physically and emotionally I opt for just pulling the blankets off my head, instead of changing the sheets. I stare at my closed black curtains, and watch as a little sliver of sunlight streams in and turns to moonlight.

**-BIA-**

"Princess?" I hear my Dad's voice ask

I groan, "Huh?"

"Are you hungry?"

I just shake my head and try to go back to sleep.

"You can't do this again."

"What?" I ask grumpily

"You can't just fold in on yourself again."

"I'm not."

My Dad sighs. "Yes you are. I just got you back, and now your hiding out."

I roll over and open my eyes to look at him. He looks tired, worried and just plain sad.

"Princess, when I said that stuff before, when I saw you and Hap together, I didn't mean it how it sounded."

I wince, but don't say anything.

He sighs. "You're my little girl and I just wanna protect you from anything I can. I'll do anything to make sure your ok, even if I don't like it or you hate me for it."

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Gemma told you didn't she." I say, starting to panic.

My dad nods, "It's fine, but I have a few conditions."

I nod and sit up. "What are they?" I ask anxiously, trying to hold off my excitement

"Your safety is number one, no matter what. So I'll have Juice hook up a top of the line security system…" he trails off when he sees my confused look

I cock my head, "What are you talking about?"

"You getting your own place, what did you think I was talking about?" he asks cocking his head too.

_It's good he doesn't know about me and Happy. Wait, there is no me and happy, since it's not like he wants me_. I shake my head, and massage my temples. "I…..I don't know. The conditions?"

"Right, their mandatory." I nod and he continues. "You'll find a house, not an apartment, and Juice will hook up a full security system, but I still want you to have a few weapons handy."

"Is that it?"

He nods, "That and you come to every family dinner, no matter what."

I nod. "Done."

"Yesterday when I had you come back to the garage it was so I could give you something."

I lay back down, "Dad you don't need to keep buying me shit."

He waves it off with his hand. "I know how you hate relying on everyone for rides so-."

I cut him off. "Tell me you did not buy me a car!" I say exasperated

He shakes his head. "Just signing it over."

I sit up and look at him incredulously. "Your not giving me your Caddy." I say with disbelief

He nods. "She hasn't been driven in a while, so I have the guys doing some work on her to make sure she's up to par."

I scoff at him, "Like she'd even be below par. You can't just give me your '61 Cadillac convertible!"

I can see him grin. "You always loved that car and-."

"Is this because of the whore comment? Because I did sleep with Happy." I say before I can stop myself. I bite my lip for being so stupid, and hope he doesn't track down Hap and hurt him or kill him.

He shakes his head. "I had a long talk with Hap, he assured me nothing happened. And even though I don't approve of you sleeping next to him, or near him as he sleeps on the floor, I trust him with you."

At first I breathe a sigh of relief, but then I feel the urge to throw up, when he says he trusts Hap with me, but I hold it down.

"I always intended to give you the Caddy ya know. She's just been sitting in storage waiting for you."

"Dad, I… I don't know what to say…. Thank you!" I say hugging him hard.

"You don't need to thank me, Princess." He says hugging me back, before pulling back. "Now I need you to do me a favor." I nod and he continues. "I want you outta this bed and this house tomorrow. Go shopping, hang around the garage all day, I don't give a shit what you do but I don't want you locking yourself away."

"I'll try Dad."

"No, you'll do it. Because if you don't I'll come up here and throw you over my shoulder and haul your ass outta this funk your in." he says firmly

"I have nothing to do though." I mumble

"Go visit Opie's kids, draw all day in the park, make one of the guys take you anywhere you want, I don't care just find something."

"I haven't seen Donna in forever, and I'd love to see little Ellie and Kenny." I say considering it.

"Good!" my Dad says standing up. "Now get more sleep if your still tired, or go eat and watch tv or something and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, night Dad."

He takes my face in his hands. "I love you, Mackenzi." He says kissing my forehead.

"I love you too, Dad."

"Night Princess." He says walking out of the room.

I lay back down surprised at my Dad's unusual pronouncement of loving me. It's not like I don't know that he loves me, it's just rare for him to say it like that. I usually get a "Love ya." But never the full on "I love you". I must really be worrying him.

I guilt trip him, accuse him of calling me a whore, lie to his face. Fuck around with his brother, and then make his brother lie to him. And what does he do? He gives me his classic Cadillac convertible, has the guys working on it to make sure it's better than it already is.

_I'm a horrible daughter_. I think as tears start rolling down my cheeks._ I'm not gonna wallow._ I decide with nod as my eyes droop shut.

**A/N- Please don't hate me because of what happened, there's a reason. Happy will be back soon i promise, reviews might make him come back sooner!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- I wanna say a special thank you, to all the people who are lovin on my story!  
**

**This chapter is a long one, and it goes along with the Pilot. There's a little bit of everything in here, so be prepared for a bit of an emotional roller coaster. **

** Lauren(Bad Company) is the best and i have no clue what I'd do without her guidance and reassurances. **

**Now i think it's important for you all to remember that even though Mac is a tough girl, from growing up within the club and everything she's been through, she's still a girl. And we girls can get overly emotional when we care about shit. Sometimes we jump to conclusions and overreact, sometimes we seem bitchy and bratty but it's what we generally feel in that moment.  
**

**There are lots of pictures to go with this chapter, the link is on my profile.**

**I own nothing that you recognize. **

***~*Chapter 11*~***

_3 weeks later…_

I groan as The Beatles 'Strawberry Fields Forever.' blasts in my ear from my Ipod dock, waking me up. I roll over and glare at my Ipod, for committing the offense of playing that song. I love the Beatles, but I don't want to hear anything about Strawberries.

I sit up in my new king size bed, and look around my new bedroom, in my new house.

The walls are a beautiful sky blue, which makes the room feel airy and relaxed. The king size bed frame and headboard, surrounding dresser, bed stand, vanity and lamps are all black.

My Dad insisted that I get new furniture, because my room at his house just had to stay the way it is 'just in case' he said. I had rolled my eyes at him and pointed out that I like black furniture and I'd just get something similar, but he wouldn't be moved from the idea of my old room staying as is.

I stretch before hopping out of bed. As soon as I walk into my bathroom, I smile. I'm greeted by the plum walls, with white flowers that I painted about a week ago. I take a deep breath and push the lingering song out of my head.

After I get out of the shower I head to my closet and pick out an outfit for work. I decide on a cute little purple skirt with a little bit of lace around the bottom, and a light gray tank top that says 'Smarty' with a pair of glasses on it. I pick out a pair of purple sling backs, with a flower above the open toe.

After getting dressed and grabbing my purse, I make a quick run though of the house. Last night was my first night staying here, and I find it hard to believe this whole place is mine, Three bedrooms, two and half bathrooms, and a garage.

My Dad found the place and showed it to me, I immediately loved it, but I told him it was too big. He replied by telling me he already bought it and I'd have to sign the papers the next day, and he knew I'd like the place.

One of the other bedrooms I changed into a room I could draw in. Just a desk complete with pencils and markers, a huge cozy couch and lights. The other room I fixed as a guest room, figuring that if something went down and any of the guys needed a place, they could stay.

The kitchen has burgundy walls and white cabinets. The counter is long and runs into a bar, where I have a few high backed stools. There's a table over near the side door that leads to the garage. The room is open, and you can see into the living room if you look over your shoulder at the stove or if you turn your head at the sink.

The living room has tan walls, with a sandy brown sectional and matching chair. Orange and tan pillows lay on the cushions. The curtains are a mild shade of orange. A forty-six inch flat screen LCD TV is mounted on the wall, with a bluray player, and cable box on clear shelves in the wall underneath the TV, and a surround sound system.

When I said that all this wasn't necessary, Juice had damn near had a coronary, that wasn't the funny part of course. But what was hilarious was that he went into a technological rant about how bluray was this, and LCD vs. Plasma, and then how certain sound systems were better for this, and settings and nothing that I could pay attention to.

Tig had been over during Juice's tirade, and he had offered to shoot him to put us all out of our misery. I laugh out loud thinking of how adorable Juice was when he couldn't wrap his head around why we had no clue what he was talking about, and why Tig would want to shoot him.

I shake my head and step into the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. As I'm pouring some Lucky Charms into a bowl my cell phone rings. I look at the caller id and sigh, Abby and I have been playing phone tag of sorts for the last three weeks. I call and leave a message since she doesn't answer, and then she calls me back with a random or weird excuse.

"Hey Abs!" I answer the phone.

"Hey Mac." She says sounding upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I just wish I could see you." She says wistfully.

I eat a spoonful of charms, "Well I got my house all set. You could come here anytime you want." I say before eating another spoonful

"I…" she trails off sounding hesitant. "I might just take you up on that."

I drop my spoon into my bowl with an audible clink. "What's going on? Where are you?" I ask as my hackles rise.

"I'm at my apartment…. Nothings going on."

"You know you can't lie to me."

I hear her sigh, "I know. Look I'm fine; I just wish I was in Charming."

I nod since I can tell she's being truthful. "Well come back anytime Hun, you know I miss you like crazy!"

"I know, and I miss you soooo much." She says pausing to sniffle. "Are you-."

I cut her off. "I don't know what's going on but you're miserable. So get on a bus and come here."

I hear Abby sniffle a couple more times. "I'm going to in a few days, or maybe a week. I just wanna tie up some things at USC."

"Good, I can't wait to see you." I say walking to the sink to rinse my bowl.

"Me too, I gotta get to work but I'll call you later ok?" she asks quietly

"Yeah, I gotta run too. Love ya!"

"Love ya." She mumbles before hanging up fast.

I lock up and head into the garage to Violet, the lagoon blue 1961 Cadillac Convertible, aptly named after the little girl from _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory_ who turns into a blueberry. I frown knowing something is definitely off with my best friend. But then I smile, thinking of seeing her again, as I get in the caddy and starting her up.

"JESUS!" I exclaim as Jay-Z's 'hard knock life', blasts threw the speakers. I laugh out loud as I turn it down, there's nothing like blasting hip-hip at eight am, to wake people up. As I make my way to the garage I think back over the last few weeks.

I've spent mostly every minute either working on stuff for the house, working at the garage, since Gemma wasn't kidding when she said the office stuff was all messed up or catching up with what's been going on in the world of entertainment with Juice, whether it's just listening to music for hours or movie marathons.

Mostly I just make sure to keep busy, so my mind doesn't wander to a certain tattooed, deep- raspy voice having sex god in a Tacoma cut. I'm still pissed, mostly at him, but at myself also. My temper likes to rear its ugly head every now and then, usually over something stupid or irrelevant.

The only good thing that's come out of my misplaced anger is that Jax and I speak on occasion. Nothing too deep since we haven't resolved our issues, but when he says good morning to me or something casual, I don't bite his head off, which in retrospect is a good thing since I still love the douche bag, despite his douche beggary.

I did stop over at Opie's to see Donna and the kids. It's was kind of awkward since Donna seemed to be stressed and angry maybe even resentful, which was never how anyone would have described her before.

Little Ellie remembered me a little bit, which surprised me since she was only three the last time we saw each other. Kenny obviously had no clue who I was since he was about eighteen months that last time he saw me. I spent most of the time entertaining the kids with stories about Opie when he was younger, and playing dolls with Ellie and cars with Kenny. It was thanks to their recommendation that I watched _Finding Nemo_ with Juice that night, which was cute and funny, and I definitely needed that after the tension at the Winston house.

I did talk to Donna a little bit, but it was just the standard 'how's this, how's that' catching up bullshit. It seemed like she didn't want to be alone with me, like maybe she was scared of me. It really made me sad and confused since we always use to get along great.

Some people have always been scared of me, since they figure if they do something to me then they'll have the whole of SAMCRO on their ass, which is true. And I knew that since the whole sidewalk fight, and going to jail thing that more people would be wary of me. But to have Donna be hesitant to be around me, I just don't get it. I know Op just got out, and their readjusting but I don't understand why she would be weird around me.

"Hey, I thought you were a classic rock chick?" Kip says in greeting.

I turn down '99 problems' by Jay-Z, before turning the car off. "Hey Kip. I don't do labels; I'm an equal opportunity music lover!" I say as I step out of the car and head towards the office.

"Hey Princess, Your late." My Dad says hugging me.

"I know, Abby called and I got caught up." I say hugging him back.

He nods and pulls back. "How's she doin?"

I shake my head. "I don't know, but she's coming home soon." I say with a smile

"Good, maybe you'll hang out with her instead of Juice all the time."

I cock an eyebrow, "What's wrong with hanging out with Juice, exactly?"

"He doesn't want you hooking up with the retard." Tig says laughing.

I turn my head and glare at him. "Don't you have some hookers you could be beating right now?"

Tig frowns, "I do, but we got church in a minute."

I roll my eyes and laugh at him. "I'd _almost_ feel bad for you if you weren't such an ass."

Tig narrows his eyes at me, "You -." He's cut off by my Dad smacking him in the back of the head.

"Leave her alone." He says simply. "Let's go, Bobby's finally here." He says walking to the clubhouse.

Tig glares at me and I smirk at him, before he follows my Dad. I turn and head to my desk to start my work day. About a half hour later I'm snapped out of my paperwork hell by a knock on the door case.

I snap my head up, "Hey Dad, What's up?"

"The guys and I gotta ride off for some business, so you're gonna be a little short handed."

I play with the end of my low side pony tail, to calm myself down. "You can't just leave me with, what like two guys, maybe three? We're busy and I already got a few calls for tows."

He sighs and looks over his shoulder into the lot. "The Prospect's staying, and so is Juice." He shakes his head. "Chibs'll stay too." He says slowly.

I roll my eyes. "You know I'm not interested in Juice right? And it's ok to leave me with him, unsupervised."

He nods, "Chibs is staying too. We'll be back later." He says coming over and kissing me on the forehead.

I shake my head and kiss his cheek, "Bye Dad, have fun." I say smiling

My Dad shakes his head, "Not likely." He says and walks out the door, I turn back to all the invoices.

**-BIA-**

"I need you guys to go pick up a car." I say walking up to Kip, Chibs and Juice in the garage bay.

"Prospect, Juice have fun." Chibs says

"Where's the car?" Kips asks me.

I hand him the paper with all the information on it. "Fucker hit a deer." I say shaking my head and walking away.

I rebury myself in all the documents of the office. My eyes are burning from trying to read the writing of the guys, and the numbers are all jumbled together whether it's from their writing or my eyes I can't even tell any more, so I decide I need a break, before I shoot someone. Just as I stand up from my chair I hear motorcycles, and go out to the lot to greet the boys.

I'm standing in the lot when three bikes turn into the lot, I frown knowing that four guys left and start walking over to the row of bikes as they park. As I get closer I freeze as I see a tall, tan tattooed guy. I shake my head at myself; _it's not Happy calm down._ I think and start walking toward them again.

I'm standing maybe ten feet away, when it registers that it is Happy, I want to smack myself as my heart races, and my body starts tingling and flushing with heat for him. He's pissed; He takes his helmet off flings it on to his handlebars, and stalks off toward the clubhouse, not once looking at anything around him.

"Hey Little Red." I hear Koz say

I tare my eyes away from Happy's back to look at Koz. "What are you doing here?"

Koz stops short of me and drops his arms. "I know I pissed you off last time, but damn a guy can't even get a 'hi' or a hug?"

I roll my eyes and give him a hug. "Hi! Now what are you doing here?" I ask pulling away from him.

"They didn't tell you we were coming?" I hear a slightly older but familiar deep voice say.

I turn my head and see a tall, muscular yet burly man with black hair that's just a little bit gray and a beard longer than Opie's that's all gray. I smile immediately, run to him and throw my arms around his neck.

"Uncle Mav!" I say giving him a big squeeze.

"Hey Sweetheart." He says hugging me tightly before pulling back and looking at me. "I see what Koz was talking about, you're all grown up and beautiful." He shakes his head. "You make me feel like an old man."

I laugh, "You are an old man!" I say to him before turning to glare at Koz. "You startin shit again?"

He shakes his head, "Mav asked how you were so I told him." He looks me up and down. "Nice skirt." He lets out a whistle of appreciation. "Lookin sexy, Red."

I shake my head at him, fighting a smile and punch him in the arm. "Don't, asshole" I warn

Maverick chuckles, "I see he's made an impression." He says tilting his head to indicate Koz.

I smirk, "I made one too, and how's the nose doing?" I ask Koz

Koz shakes his head, "You know I forgave you for that darlin'. It'll be fine for our wedding pictures." He says slinging his arm around my shoulders.

I scoff at him, "I'd marry Tig before I'd marry you." I say, I have no idea how I pull it off with a straight face

Koz winces, "Why do you have to hurt me like that?" he says holding a hand to his heart, with his other arm still around me. "I know you missed me, as much as I missed you."

I laugh at him, "Maybe I missed not being able to smack you around." I tease, as I realize I did miss him, he's an ass but a funny one.

He smirks, "My little dominatrix, you got time for a session?" he asks wagging his eyebrows.

"Alright enough of that shit." Maverick says pulling Koz away from me.

I laugh again, "You couldn't take it sweetie! Now what are you guys doing here?"

Maverick frowns, "I talked to Juice, and he said he'd relay the message. No one told you we were comin?" he asks when he sees my frown.

I shake my head, "Nope, he must have forgotten to mention it."

Koz scoffs, "Dude's a fuckin retard." I glare at him and he raises his hands in surrender. "A'ight chill."

"Could you round your Dad and the guys up for us? We'll be in the chapel." Mav says

I nod, "Sure no problem, they'll be in soon." I say walking towards the garage as they head to the clubhouse.

I step into the garage when I realize that the only Son here right now is Chibs and he's elbows deep in a car. I go to the office and grab my cell phone, flipping it open to call my Dad. It goes straight to voice mail, same with all the others that went with him. I frown, and shrug before headed across the lot to the clubhouse.

I stop at the door to the clubhouse, put my hand flat against the wall, and take a deep breath. _I can do this… just ignore him_. I nod, open the door and head straight to the chapel. I lean against the door frame, and look at the Tacoma guys. The three of them are seated at the end of the table, that's reserved for visiting Son's, their all smoking and no one's talking.

My eyes are immediately drawn to Happy, he's got a cigarette in one hand, while his other hand runs over his bald head. The smoke is curling up and around him while he's looking at the table in front of him, and his whole body seems tense. I roll my eyes at myself, _Great I'm not even around him two seconds and I can't even ignore him._

Suddenly Happy's head snaps up, and his eyes meet mine. He looks dangerous almost like a caged animal; His usual intensity seems heightened, as if there's not enough space to hold it. My breathing speeds up a little bit, and I lick my suddenly dry lips. The action causes Hap to break eye contact and focus on my lips. I look over at Koz to find him watching me and Happy.

I clear my throat. "All the guy's are out, except Chibs. Juice and Kip will be back soon, but I have no clue about my Dad and the rest."

"Who's Kip?" Maverick asks.

"The Prospect, Half-Sack." I clarify, as out of the corner of my eye, I see Hap narrow his eyes. "You guys need anything?" I ask avoiding looking at Happy.

"A beer would be great." Koz says, as Maverick nods his request.

Since Happy doesn't say anything, I look at him and cock an eyebrow. He raises both his eyebrows back at me. I keep my eyebrow arched, and cock my head. Hap glares at me as he stubs his cigarette out, and I glare back at him.

"What the fuck? Stop glaring at my niece." Maverick says in a no nonsense voice.

Hap just looks away. I sigh as I stand up from my lean on the door. "Asshole." I say as I turn around into the main room of the clubhouse. After grabbing two beers I pop the tops and head back to the guys.

"Here ya go boys, enjoy." I say sitting the cold bottles in front of Koz and Mav.

"Where's mine?" Happy asks his voice a little rough.

I suppress my natural urge to shiver, as I turn and glare at him. "If you'd said you wanted one, I would have gotten you one. But you didn't and I'm busy, so get your own damn beer." I say walking out of the chapel, and then out of the clubhouse.

As I'm walking back to the office, I literally run into Jax. "Fuck!" I yell as he grabs my arm.

"Shit, I didn't see you." He says

I nod, "Where's my Dad?"

"He had some other stuff to take care of. What's wrong?"

I shake my head, "Nothing, some Tacoma guys are in the chapel waiting on him and the rest of you guys."

Jax narrows his eyes, and glances at the clubhouse before looking back at me. "Koz in there? Is he messing with you again?"

"Koz and me are cool, no worries. Maverick's actually here too." I say as Juice and Kip pull in with the tow truck and a car behind complete with a deer in the windshield. Jax and I watch them pull in, shake our heads and start walking over to them.

"I'll call Clay and see when they'll be back." Jax says.

I nod, "I've tried but there's no answer."

"You know how it is." He says as we reach the guys. "Some days you're the beamer and some days you're the goddamn deer."

"Some yuppie creamed it up by the streams." Chibs says

"He run into it, or hit a tree while it was giving him head?" Jax asks

"How the hell you want me to get it outta there?" Kip asks

Jax and Chibs share a mischievous look, before Jax walks around the tow truck. "Oh this is gonna be good." I say, and Kip looks at me confused. I smirk at him. "You know where Juice is?"

Kip points into the garage as Jax brings a chain saw out. "Come on, man." I hear Kip say as I walk into the garage.

I walk up to Juice and smack him on his head. He winces and ducks my next hit.

"What's that for?"

I cock an eyebrow. "The Tacoma guys are here. Did you tell anyone they were coming?"

He looks embarrassed, "I meant to tell the guys this morning but shit was a little crazy and I forgot."

I rub my forehead to try and ease the ache that's building. "Maverick's here, how could you forget that he was coming? He said he talked to you himself."

Juice rubs his Mohawk, "I did talk to him last night, but I passed out and figured I could tell them this morning. But then we had church, it just slipped my mind."

I sigh. "You still gotta deal with the Tacoma guys, and everyone else." I say dropping it.

He nods, "They'll-."

"Hey babygirl, you up for some lunch?" Gemma asks stepping into the garage.

"I'm kind of…." I trail off as I see the clubhouse. "Sure I could eat." I say changing my tune. Gemma motions for me to follow her. "See ya later." I say to Juice stepping out of the garage.

"How come I'm not invited?" he asks following behind a little bit.

"Because the garage is busy, and you should really be here when the guys get back." I say

"Hey Ma, you heard from my crazy ex-wife lately? She never answers her goddamn phone, and she's supposed to send me the doctor bills but I haven't seen one in weeks." Jax says

"That's because she knows it's you." Gemma says, and then looks at me. "We'll stop by on our way to lunch and check on her. Why don't you go by storage and check out the baby things there." I nod to let them know that's fine by me.

Jax smiles, "Will do, Thanks Grandma."

Gemma shakes her head and smiles, "Asshole." She says walking to her car.

I start to follow her but turn back to the guys. "Hey don't forget about Tacoma." I say with a tilt of my head at the clubhouse.

Jax nods, "I'm on it. Thanks for going to check on things." He says with a genuinely grateful smile.

I give him a small smile back. "No problem bro." I say and walk away.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Gemma asks as I get in the car and put my seat belt on before rubbing my temples.

I sigh, "Happy's here."

Gemma whips her head around to look at me. "Why is that a bad thing? I know your upset with him for leaving like he did, but you had fun with him."

I shake my head. "He just wanted to fuck me Gem."

Gemma sighs, "Your so much smarter than this sweetheart. If he wanted to just fuck you then why was he protective and possessive of you? And why would he risk his neck to hold you while you slept, under your Dad's roof?

"I just wanna avoid it right now ok?" I ask rubbing my temples harder.

"Mac just think about this ok… When he was here you were actually, well you were happy."

I sigh, and change the subject. "I hope the baby's ok." I say, looking out the window, fully meaning it and starting to worry, as my mind starts to wander.

Even though I hadn't spoken to Jax for a long time, and didn't want to, Gemma made sure to keep me up to date with any news. When she told me they were getting a divorce we were both ecstatic. No matter how pissed I am at him, he's still my brother and I love him deeply, and I'll always celebrate his success and help with any issues he has.

It was about six months after the divorce announcement, that Gemma dropped another big bomb; Wendy and Jax were going to have a baby. She told me that they just hooked up and they weren't getting back together but Wendy was going to have the baby.

I was excited about the idea of becoming an aunt, even though I was disappointed in the whole situation. I saw it coming before Wendy even entered the picture. Jax not thinking anything though, just going with the flow, and then before he knew it he'd be a dad.

I shake my head not wanting to get myself worked up. Focusing out the window I see that we're almost to the house. When we pull up Gemma goes to the front door, walking over a bunch of news papers,

"What a goddamn mess" she says before knocking

"Mac go around the back and see if she's here or the back door is open." Gemma says when there's no answer

I nod and move around the house, trying to see through the windows. "I can't see shit Gem." I peek into the next window and freeze. "GEMMA!" I yell.

All I see is Wendy passed out on the kitchen floor with blood all around her. There's a carton of ice cream near her, that's almost completely melted, and it's mixing with her blood. I'm pulling my phone out of my pocket when Gemma finally gets to me.

"Stupid junkie bitch!" she spits out, pulling me closer to her, I squeeze her tight then hand her my phone which is already dialing 911, as I go to the back door and break in. I check for a pulse and breathe a sigh of relief when I find one. Standing over Wendy I realize that I don't know what to do.

Gemma comes in, "Ambulance is on the way. She dead?"

"No, but she will be. Either by this," I say holding up a loaded syringe, that I found next to her. "Or by me, once that baby's out of her."

"She's been using this whole time?" Gemma asks incredulously

I nod, "It looks like it, look at these track marks." I say lifting Wendy's arm

Gemma shakes her head. "She was clean, but then she gets knocked up and decides to be a crank whore again. Once a junkie, always a junkie."

I just nod numbly as I stare at the pool of blood and ice cream. I start to see a face similar to mine, just a bit older flicking in and out over Wendy's face. I press the heel of my hands to my eyes, trying to stop the image, while shaking my head.

"Miss we need you to move so we can get her to the hospital." Some guy says

I open my eyes and see paramedics with a empty stretcher waiting for me to move. I quickly walk over to Gemma, and she throws her arm around me.

"Jax isn't answering his phone, so we gotta go to the clubhouse." She says leading me out the door as I nod.

As soon as I sit down in the car I start rubbing my eyes again, trying to scrub the image from them._ Not real, not real, not real…._

I hear a horn honking rapidly and jump. I pull my hands away from my face and see we're back in the lot of TM and frown. _Damn it not again!_ I think as Gemma jumps out of the car and starts talking and gesturing to the guys.

**-BIA-**

As we walk down the hallway towards the ICU, I don't even register the words everyone's saying. I'm just focused on Chibs' arm around my shoulders as he guides me with everyone else.

When we near the ICU room and can see Wendy in the bed hooked up to IV's Jax breaks away from everyone else and steps up to the glass. I snap out of it, and step up next to Jax, as I see Tara Break-Jax's-Heart Knowles steps out of Wendy's room.

I resist the urge to attack her as she states the obvious, that Wendy has tracks all over her hands and feet and it's probably crank. _No shit bitch!_

Tara tells Jax that they had to do an emergency c-section, and saying that the baby is ten weeks premature. I step up and hold Jax's hand, squeezing when she tells us that my nephew has a tare in his abdomen and a congenital heart defect. As Tara says that he has a twenty percent chance of survival, and that's being optimistic, I lunge at Wendy's room but Chibs catches me.

"No, no darlin', ya gotta wait to get her." Chibs whispers in my ear pulling me over to the nurse's station, next to my Dad and Bobby.

I turn into my Dad's chest and start crying.

"Jax?"

"Jackson." I hear Gemma call and lift my head to see Jax walking away aggressively.

"Go with Tara, I got some shit to do." He says disappearing around a corner.

"Watch his back." My Dad says to Bobby and Chibs. They turn and follow after him

"If you want to see the baby, follow me." Tara says to Gemma, my Dad and me.

We follow her down a few hall ways, before coming to the NICU. We stop in front of a glass window, and see Jax's baby boy in an incubator.

"He's so tiny." I say sniffling as I put my hand to the glass. "What's his name?"

Gemma steps up next to me, with tears in her eyes. "Abel." She says as she puts her arm around me.

"You gotta be ok Abel, you just got to." I say as tears fall down my face faster.

"Maybe you should sit down." Tara says.

I turn my head to see who she's talking to and realize she's talking to me. "Maybe you should shut the fuck up." I spit as my tears still keep falling.

She scoffs, and shakes her head before leaving.

I sigh, "Finally." And turn back to watching little Abel.

**-BIA-**

"Princess, let me take you home." My Dad says to me.

I tare my eyes away from Abel to look at him. "Why?" I ask confused

"We've been here for a few hours, and there's nothing we can do sitting here that we can't do sitting somewhere else." He says

I have the irrational urge to yell 'but what if we stop watching him and something happens!' But I hold it back as I realize that, that's crazy.

"I don't wanna be alone." I mumble

My dad nods, "Let's go to the clubhouse then and have a drink. I have to be at church soon anyways."

I look back at Abel, then sigh and nod. "Fine." I say reluctantly and stand up.

"I'll call with any news." Gemma says hugging me.

I nod, as I hug her back not saying anything.

He puts his arm around my shoulders as we make our way through the hospital. After we get to the parking lot and near his bike "He's a fighter, he'll be fine." he says, as he hands me a helmet.

I nod as he gets on his bike and holds his arm out for me. As I get on while snapping the helmet, I kiss his cheek. "Thanks Dad." I say hugging him from behind.

"Anytime, Princess." He says patting my hands, before starting the bike and riding towards TM.

I bury my face in the reaper on his back and say a silent prayer.

_God, I know we've never really seen eye to eye, what with me being a born and bred sinner and all. I know I've been doubtful of you, and I don't really know how this works. But this isn't about me, this is about little Abel. He doesn't deserve to suffer like this, if you could just give him some strength for his surgeries, that'd be great. Help him, please. Amen?_

I shake my head at my rambled attempt at a prayer. I'm not even sure why I thought to try it. I prayed a lot when I was younger, and I never got anything from it, no nice feeling, no peace of mind, just the feeling of being let down. But I'm willing to try whatever for that little man.

"Princess?" my Dad asks tapping me on my knee.

"Huh?"

"You wanna get off the bike and go into the clubhouse?"

"Umm, yeah." I say slowly looking around, and hopping off when I see we're in the lot at TM. "Wake up." I mumble to myself

"What'd ya say?"

"Nothing." I say handing him my helmet and walking to the clubhouse.

"Hey Pippi." I hear Tig say as I reach the door.

I look over and see him leaning against the wall, smoking with Happy. "Hey" I say back, and they both frown at me.

Tig pushes off the wall and walks over to me. "You look like shit." He says standing in front of me and cocking his head.

I feel my bottom lip tremble as I look up at him.

He rubs the back of his neck, "You don't look that bad... shit don't cry." He says looking around for help, as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. He hesitantly opens his arms awkwardly, offering a hug.

The tears I'd been holding back spring forth as I throw my arms around Tig's neck and hug him tightly. He doesn't move at first, and then slowly pats me on the back. I look over his shoulder and see Happy glaring, and start crying harder. I bury my face in Tig's neck as he wraps his arms around me, for a second before pulling back.

"It's not you." I say motioning to my tears, before walking to the clubhouse.

"What'd he do to you?" Happy asks as I reach the door.

I shake my head and look up at him. "Nothi-."

He cuts me off. "Don't fuckin lie to me." He growls.

My tears dry up, and I scoff at him. "I can't lie to you but you can lie to me? Fucking typical!" I spit and swing the clubhouse door open.

As soon as I'm in the room, I do a quick sweep for Jax. I find him near the end of the bar smoking a cigarette. I walk quickly too him and launch my self at him once I'm close enough. He stands there frozen for an instant but then hugs me tightly.

"The kid ok?" he asks quietly in my ear.

I nod, "I'm just so sorry Jax." I say crying

"For what?"

I take a deep breath. "If I'd been paying more attention, then Abel wouldn't be hurting."

Jax pulls back, and holds my face in his hands blue eyes meeting blue eyes. "This isn't your fault; I know you like to protect everyone from everything. But this is on me, and on Wendy, _not_ you."

I sniffle, "But-."

Jax shakes his head. "No. I was an asshole and it's my fault we weren't talking. I'm sorry." He says wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

"When did you grow up?" I ask with a weak and teasing smile

"Somewhere between the time Abel was born, and I beat the shit out of the asshole who sold Wendy crank, with a pool cue." He says seriously with anger in his voice.

"I'm gonna kill that bitch." I spit

Jax shakes his head, "We just got you back, don't go doing anything to get locked up again."

I look at him incredulously. "Who gives a fuck about me? That bitch damn near killed my nephew, you think I'm just gonna let her get away with it?"

Jax runs a hand through his hair. "Everyone gives a fuck about you Mac. Just leave it be for a little while a'ight?" he asks, looking a little tired.

I nod, "Fine, I'll drop it for _now_." I say willing to help him out.

He breathes a sigh of relief. "Are we good? Not just with talking, but you love me again?" he asks hesitantly

I raise my eyebrows at him. "I always love you Jax, you're my big bro even though you're an idiot most times. Yeah we're good, but don't expect me not to call you on your bullshit." I say with a smirk

He smirks back. "It wouldn't be right if you weren't being the nosy _little_ sister." He teases

"Asshole." I say smacking his arm and turning to the bar. "Kip I need a fuckin drink." I say when I see him serving.

He nods, "What'll it be?"

"I seriously don't give a fuck." I say rubbing my forehead.

"A'ight, here ya go." He says opening a beer and handing it to me.

"Thanks." I say taking a long drink as I turn to walk to the couch.

When I pass the table where Tig, Koz, Happy, and Chibs are sitting, Tig pulls me into his lap. "You know, even when you're cryin all over the place your still sexy right?" he asks

"She don't want you Tigger." Koz says before looking at me. "You want a real Sergeant at Arms; you know where to find one." He says opening his arms

I look around the room, and then at the guys at the table. "Where? I don't see any real Sergeant's at Arms." I say taking a sip of my beer.

Koz winces, "Why you always hurting me Beautiful?"

"Because she's a bitch." Tig says. "You know what your problem is?" he asks me.

I shake my head. "Why don't you tell me, I'm so lost Tiggy." I say with a fake pout.

He narrows his eyes. "You need to get fucked, and I'm willing to help out." He says lifting his hips up a little bit. I see Hap tense out the corner of my eye

I jump out of his lap, and spin to face him, "Fucking assho-." I start to hiss

"Church, _NOW_." My Dad yells so everyone can hear. He puts his hand on my shoulder, "You ok?"

"Fucking peachy." I spit glaring at Tig, before heading to the bar again. "Vodka." I tell Kip, and he starts pouring

**-BIA-**

I'm blasting my Ipod in my ears, singing along to Stone Temple Pilots about 'Vasoline' as I see Kip handing a beer over. I lift my hand to accept but another hand snatches it before I can. I turn to glare at who ever it is, as I pull my earphones out of my ears.

"What…Oh church is over?" I ask once I see my Dad next to me and the rest of the guys around the room.

Bobby nods at me, "Bourbon." He tells Kip

"What the fuck is that smell?" my Dad asks.

I sniff the air and cringe. "Piney clog the toilet again?" I ask

"I smell it too." Bobby says shaking his head, "No it's not Piney."

My Dad walks around the room sniffing, and Bobby follows, while I watch from the bar. I see Bobby lean down and pull something from under the pool table. I stand up and walk over, since the other guys are blocking my view.

"Damn it." I hear Bobby say as I squeeze between Juice and Chibs, and see him pull a severed deer head out of a box.

"That's... That's mine." Kip says running over and taking the deer by the antlers.

"Are you outta your goddamn mind?" Bobby asks, as my Dad shakes his head, and Juice laughs.

"No, I just… um I thought we could... you know mount it… like on the wall." Kip says with a big smile.

"It's gotta be stuffed and treated, you idiot!" Jax says

"I know, but stuffed with what exactly?" Kip asks confused.

Everyone stands shaking their heads and laughing at him, myself included. I feel bad for him and consider going over to pat him on the back, but opt to stay away from the stench.

I shake my head and look around the room for Tig. It seems unlikely that he'd miss a chance to rip into the Prospect. "Hey, where's Tig?" I ask when I don't see him

"Getting ready for his fight with Happy." Juice says, clearly enjoying everyone calling someone else an idiot.

I look at him sharply, "What fight?" I ask when I don't see Happy either

"Tig and Hap were talking shit to each other during church." My Dad says in explanation. "You know how it is when Brothers pop shit."

I nod, "They fight it out in the ring." I say looking at the door.

"Come on; let's go watch Tig get his ass kicked." Koz says motioning for me to follow him. I nod, and start towards him. I stop when I feel and arm around my shoulders, and look up to see Chibs there.

"Aye, it's gonna be a fun one." He says his eyes dancing with excitement as he leads me outside, with all the others following behind.

Chibs stops a few feet away from the ring, as all the other guys pass us, and looks down at me. "Ya know this fight's about ye, don't ya?" He asks quietly but with no judgement

I look at Chibs confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He cocks his eyebrow at me. "I'm talking about you bein Happy's girl."

I feel all tingley at the idea of being 'Happy's girl' and shake my head. "This fight's not about me. And I'm not anyone's girl." I say barely holding back my frown.

His eyebrows shoot up high on his forehead, "No? So why was Hap pissed enough to hold his leg in a death grip, to stop from jumping at Tig over the table, when Tig said he'd fuck ya? Just for fun?"

I bite my lip. "What he said was rude?" I say as an explanation but it comes out as a question.

Chibs shakes his head. "And last time he was here he was gonna kill Koz over somethin that involved ye." His eyes sharpen with knowledge. "Ye fucked Hap, and it was his shirt ya were wearin that mornin."

I look down and bite my lip, but Chibs lifts my chin. "Don't give me shit about it ok, I already know I fucked up." I say and sigh

"Who else knows?" he asks

"Gemma, and Koz… and maybe Kip?"

"Jesus," he says shaking his head and walking to the guys around the ring.

I stand there looking after Chibs, as he leans against the ring, wondering if he's pissed about Happy fighting with his brother because of me. I know I'm pissed at myself for it.

"Hey Red, come here!" Koz says motioning me over to the ring just a little bit away from the rest of the guys. I nod and head over to him. "So who you got?' he asks me as I reach him.

I raise my eyebrows at him, and he laughs. "Well it's a fair question, your pissed at them both." When I don't say anything, he continues. "Ok so you don't care, you just want them to beat each others asses." He nods, "I get it."

I shake my head, "I don't want them to fight, because of me." I mumble to him.

Koz puts his arm around my shoulders and gives me a half hug. "Hap's just defendin what's his."

"I'm not his." I say, anger laced in my tone.

Koz raises his eyebrows. "What are you mad at him for anyway?"

I shake my head, "Nothing I want-." I start but trail off as I see Happy step into the ring shirtless. Hap looks at me before glaring at Koz, who drops his arm and puts a little space between us, but not much.

I smirk, "Still scared of him, I see." I say to Koz without taking my eyes off Happy, as he leans against the corner of the ring waiting for Tig.

Koz scoffs, "Hardly, But You haven't seen him these last few weeks. He's been more aggressive than usual, and that's before he heard about Rose."

I turn my head to look at Koz, "He has an Old Lady? Oh fuck I can't believe this shit." I say burying my face in my hands. _Wonderful, I fall for a Son and then he just fucking plays me, and now I find out he has an Old Lady! I wonder if Koz has a gun I could borrow to shoot myself._

Koz grabs my arm and pulls it away from my face. "No, Hap just has his mom, Rose." He clarifies.

"Oh." I say and take a deep breath "What'd he hear about his mom?"

He shakes his head, "That's his business to share not mine."

I nod as Tig finally steps into the ring. "You can just admit you're scared of him, I won't tell anyone." I tease, as Happy stands up and rolls his head on his shoulders.

"You want me to prove I'm not? After I kick his ass, we can finally be together."

I laugh a little at him, "_If_ you kicked his ass, that doesn't mean I'd be with you." I say, my eyes glued to Happy as Bobby declares the fight started. Happy hits Tig immediately, right in the mouth and he spits out blood.

"Damn this is gonna be good!" Koz exclaims. "Why do you have to deny our love?" he asks seriously, while watching the fight.

I laugh loudly at Koz, and Tig glares at me, probably thinking I'm laughing at him. Happy takes the opportunity to land a few hits on Tig's ribs.

I knew since the moment I met Happy that he was dangerous. But watching him dominate the fight is like a panther on the prowl, he's lean and muscular, although not overly muscled. Seeing his muscles bunch and stain under his skin as he moves, I shiver, turned on by watching him fight.

"Damn, take it down a notch, you look like you wanna jump in there and hop on his dick." Koz says

"Shut it." I say half heartedly.

Suddenly Tig lands a hit on Hap's stomach and I grab the side of the ring. I cock my head and study the fight, knowing something's off. "He's not trying anymore." I say as Tig punches Hap in the face, when he could have easily blocked it.

"KICK HIS ASS!" I hear my Dad yell.

Tig lands two back to back hits to Happy's face, knocking him into the corner. I try to jump in the ring but Koz grabs me around the waist.

"No Little Red." He whispers in my ear, when I struggle he continues. "What will Clay think when you jump in there and kick Tig's ass?"

I stop my struggles as Bobby breaks the fight up. Tig has blood running down his face, from his nose and mouth. Happy has a swollen and bloody lip, but that's it. I watch as they hug it out, smacking each other on the back and then pull apart.

Happy looks around the ring as he puts his Cut on, narrows his eyes at me and then steps out of the ring using the ropes right in front of me. He stands on the lip of the ring directly in front of me, which puts his crotch right by my head.

"You gonna move?" he asks glaring

I raise my eyebrow, "Why'd you stop trying in there?" I ask tilting my head at the ring.

"Why do you give a fuck? Back the fuck up." He spits

I shake my head and try to step back, only to realize Koz is still holding me. "Koz let go." I say smacking his arms. When Koz reluctantly lets me go, I step aside and Hap jumps down.

Happy stands there and looks at me. "Come on." He says grabbing my arm and pulling me with him as he walks away.

"What the fuck?" I say to him, as he drags me into the clubhouse away from everyone else, and pull on my arm.

He doesn't let go. "I gotta talk to you." He says in a voice that says he won't take no for an answer, but I don't give a shit.

"I don't wanna talk to you." I say pulling harder on my arm, and trying to put the bar between us.

Hap sighs, and drops my arm to run his hand over his head. "Fine be that way then." He says as I turn away from him, only to be thrown over his shoulder.

I smack him on his leather covered back. "Put me the fuck down!"

"Not yet." He says and then grunts when I hit his back again. I see the hard word floor pass by before we stop; he digs in his pocket, and then opens a door.

"Put me down!' I say, knowing if I'm alone with him I won't be able to control myself, and he's basically shirtless.

"A'ight" he says and throws me on his bed, making me squeak. I jump up from the bed but I run right into him, which traps me between him and the bed.

I swallow hard and look up at him. "You wanted to talk?" I whisper

He shakes his head, and kisses me. I try to resist, I really do, since I'm mad at him. But as he grabs my hips, and rubs his thumbs on my skin under my shirt, while he runs his tongue along the seam of my closed lips, my mind goes blank and I shiver, opening my mouth. As our tongues dance together, I realize he tastes like alcohol.

Hap picks me up; I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Happy sits on the edge of the bed, so I'm straddling him, as he trails kisses down my neck and bites my collar bone. Then I feel his hand on my thigh, slowly making his way under my skirt, I moan and push my hips at him.

"Whoa!" I hear Koz say and jump trying to pull away, but Hap just tightens his hold.

"Get the fuck out asshole." He growls into my neck

"Stop for a second." I say breathlessly as my mind starts working again

"Why, he'll go away." Hap says continuing licking and nibbling up my neck.

I shiver, "Just stop." I say with a moan, pushing on his shoulders

"You don't really want me too." He says running his fingers over the outside of my panties. "Your fuckin soaked for me." He growls into my ear.

I shiver, "Please, Happy…. Stop." I say as my body and mind fight each other, wanting nothing more than to experience the amazing sex but not wanting to be played again. I suddenly feel an arm around my waist, pulling me back and letting me go once I'm free from Hap's hands.

Happy stands up and pushes Koz into the wall. "Don't touch her again."

"You weren't stopping and she told you to." Koz says leaning against the wall.

Hap moves into his face. "You accusing me of raping her?" he spits, while I flinch but neither see me.

"Your drunk and riled up from the fight. And you've had a few rough weeks" Koz says simply

"I wouldn't fuckin hurt her." He says loudly

I step up to them and put my hand on Hap's chest. "Back up." I say giving a little push.

Hap whips his head around and looks at me. "You fuckin him now too?"

I glare and push him harder, when he's away from Koz and facing me, I step in his face. "I don't play with people like _some people_ do."

Happy raises his eyebrows, "Yeah you fuckin do."

I scoff, "I don't fuckin think so asshole! You're the one who plays with people's minds, acting one fuckin way and then just being a total fuckin douche!"

"So I'm a douche, and you run off and hook up with this fucker?" he says pointing at Koz

"I'm not hooking up with anyone! Jesus, everyone thinks I'm a fuckin crow eater or some shit!" I say exasperated

"Well you let guys hang all fuckin over you. First Tig, then Chibs and now Koz, you want me to break all my brothers necks?"

I step back and slap him across the face hard enough that his whole head whip's around, and then push his chest. "I'm not a fuckin whore! Just because your fuckin jealous doesn't mean….." I trail off and squint at his cut. "What the fuck is this?" I ask pointing to the 'Redwood' and 'Original' patches on his cut, where the 'Tacoma' and 'Men of Mayhem' use to be.

"I was gonna go Nomad, but your Dad thought it best I join SAMCRO." He says as blood trickles from his lip, and I give him a confused look. "I'm not fucking jealous either, so feel free to fuck who you want." He spits pushing me out the door, and then nodding at Koz, "Get the fuck out."

As soon as Koz steps out the door, and while I'm standing there stunned, Happy slams the door in my face.

"Surprise! You get to have him around all the time now, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?" Koz asks

I feel my whole body start shaking as tears fall down my cheeks. My legs give out, but Koz catches me, and I turn into him, crying on his cut.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do when girls cry." He mumbles hugging me. "What's wrong exactly?"

I sniffle, "He doesn't give a shit about me." I say as more tears fall from my eyes. "I thought he cared at first, and then he just fuckin left without saying anything. And I thought he didn't care, but Gemma planted seeds in my head that he did. But now…." I sniffle and try to hold off the sobs. "But now…now… I _know_… he really… doesn't give a shit…." I ramble out as my sobs wreck threw my body.

Koz rubs my back. "Come on." He says pulling me with him. He removes his hand and then mumbles something, before pushing me back. "You should lay down."

I look around and see the inside of a dorm room, grab the door knob and then look back a Koz confused.

"For the record, I think he cares-."

I cut him off by grabbing the key from the keyhole and slamming the door in his face. I throw myself down on top of the blankets, and cry.

_Feel free to fuck who you want…. Feel free to fuck who ever you want…._

Keeps running threw my head, and the deadly serious expression he had when he said it.

_Feel free to fuck who you want…. Feel free to fuck who ever you want…._

He basically said I was a whore too.

_Feel free to fuck who you want…. Feel free to fuck who ever you want…._

I shake my head, no he doesn't want me. I decide as I cry myself to sleep.

**A/N- When i say that reviews keep me writing, i'm not just saying it to get more reviews. I'm genuinely shocked that anyone is reading this story, let alone adding it to their favorite story list and alerts. So thanks again, and I love me some reviews!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N- Hey everyone thanks for all the love, i appreciate it! I'm going on vacation in a few days, so the next chapter might just have to tided everyone over for a little bit, but not too long. I probably won't be able to write since my 2year old nephew is going with and he's a little monster! I'll only be gone for like 4days, so no worries i won't leave ya hanging for that long.**

**Big love to Lauren (Bad Company) she reads my chapters for me, and helps sort through my chaos. **

**Check out the link on my profile for pictures associated with this story, sometimes i forget to mention that.**

**There's always a reason for everything that happens! Oh and this is still taking place during the pilot if anyone doesn't notice that!**

**I own nothing... Just Mac, and the fact that her and Hap can't seem to contain themselves, and forget that other people are around.  
**

***~*Chapter 12*~***

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

I groan and roll over pulling a pillow over my head. The knocking doesn't stop though, just gets louder.

"Go away!" I try to shout but it comes out weak and hoarse.

_Knock!_ "Red come on, I just need to get my stuff." _Knock! Knock!_

I groan, roll over and stand up, quickly grabbing the bed stand when I feel lightheaded, and queasy. I wait for the room to stop spinning before walking slowly to the door and unlocking it.

"Damn!" Koz says when he sees me, and sweeps his thumb under my eyes.

I open the door wider and step back so he can enter. "What?" I mumble

"You look…." He shakes his head. "I'm not sure how to say this without being a dick, but you look like a fuckin zombie."

I touch my face, "How so?" I ask while walking back to the bed and almost falling as a feel lightheaded again.

"Jesus, are you ok?" Koz asks holding me up

I put my head on his chest, shut my eyes and take a few deep breaths. "I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine. You seem tired, plus your pale and your eyes are all red and puffy."

I pull back from him, "I'm fi-." I stop short when I see Happy standing outside the door, looking pissed and looking me up and down.

"Maverick and Clay are looking for you." He says his voice lower than usual.

"A'ight I'll be out in a minute just gotta grab my bag." Koz says, walking away from me.

Hap shakes his head, "Not you, her."

"I have a name." I say pissed but it comes out thready.

As I reach the door, I see a muscle tick in Happy's jaw, as he rolls his head on his shoulders while glaring at Koz. "What'd he call you when you blew him?"

I wince. "She didn't blow me, she just slept in here." Koz says

Hap raises his eyebrows, "Just like she _slept_ in my room." He says as I walk around him.

"No asshole, like she was fuckin crying and I gave her my room, because you're a fuckin retard." Koz spits at him. "But if Mac wanted me, even after having fucked you, I'd jump at the chance to have such an awesome chick on my arm." I hear him continue as I tense, but then quickly round the corner, not wanting to hear Happy offer me to Koz.

I see my Dad and Maverick at the bar and walk up to them. "You need somethin?" I ask wincing when my voice cracks.

My Dad looks me over, frowns and stands up from his stool. "What happened to you, Princess?" he asks, pulling me into a hug.

I shake my head, "Nothing, I'm fine."

He cocks his head, "Yesterday was rough on you." He says with a nod

I resist the urge to scoff and tell him he has no idea, and just nod. Suddenly another spell of lightheadedness hits me.

"Whoa, sit down." My Dad says holding onto my arm, and guiding me to a bar stool.

"I'm fine." I say as I squeeze my eyes shut.

I hear a scoff, "No yer not darlin'. Just tell me wants wrong." Chibs says as I feel a hand on my shoulder

I open my eyes and see all the guys huddled around me, except Koz and Happy, there's no sign of either of them. "I'm just a little lightheaded." I mumble

Chibs narrows his eyes, "When's the last time ya ate?"

I bite my lip while trying to remember, "Ummmm….Yesterday morning."

He nods, "High stress and not eating will make ya lightheaded. Ya didn't sleep well either, did ya?"

"Where did you sleep?" my Dad asks looking at my rumpled clothes that are on their second day, as Kip hands me a bottle of water.

"In Koz's room." I say, opening the bottle of water and taking a drink.

"You fucked Koz? I fucking knew there was something going on with you two!" Tig says pointing his finger at me. "That's fucking disgusting by the way; I can't even look at you right now."

I scoff and choke on my water; Chibs pats me on the back. "It's gross to fuck Koz, yet you fuck anything with a hole. And I do mean _any-thing_."

As everyone just stands there staring at me, in disbelief and my Dad's head looks like it's about to explode, I realize my mistake. "I didn't fuck Koz." I say quickly

"KOZ!" my Dad yells

"Mac didn't hook up with Koz."

All heads swing to the right and look at Kip. "How would you know?" Jax asks

"After the fight Mac disappeared for the rest of the night, and Koz was out here drinking, then He passed out on the couch." Kip says

Tig narrows his eyes, "What do you know?"

"I'm the last one to bed and the first one awake, everyday. And _what I know_ is that when I came out here this morning he was exactly how he was when I went to bed." Kip says standing up to Tig.

If I had the energy I'd get up and hug him, telling him how proud I am of him.

"The Prospect's right, when I woke up Koz was on the couch. And I didn't see Mac after the fight but I saw Koz, all night." Bobby says

"Just calm down." I say, as I see Tig glaring at Kip. "I didn't fuck anyone. Koz gave me his room to sleep in because he knew I was exhausted."

"Where is he, he was supposed to grab his bag that doesn't take long." Maverick says

"He's talking to Happy." I say and glace at the hallway to see them walk into the room, Hap in the front, with a blank look on his face.

"Someone yell to me?" Koz asks, slinging his bag over his shoulder

My Dad nods at him. "Just wanted to ask what you did last night."

Koz shrugs his shoulders. "The usual, drank and passed out."

I tune out everyone else as I see Happy watching me. There's still no expression on his face but his eyes are taking in my face, and then my body, before going back to my face and staying there. I'm really tempted to yell at him for staring at me, or maybe flip him off, but I hold it back figuring it'd draw too much attention.

I snap my head towards Maverick. "What'd you just say?" I ask

He frowns at me. "That we gotta get going." He says clearly questioning my sanity

I raise my eyebrows at him, "But you just got here!"

He nods, "I know sweetheart, but we gotta get back up to the guys in Tacoma. They're probably losing it without me to keep 'em in line." He says with a chuckle

I cock my head "We?"

"Yeah we and I know you'll miss me Red, but you can call me anytime you decide to take me up on my proposal." Koz says, smiling at me

"Proposal?" My Dad asks, his eyes narrowed

"I asked Mac to marry me, she seems hesitant but I think she'll come around. Do I have your permission, Clay? Or should I say Dad?" Koz asks winking at me. I sit there wondering if Happy hit him in the head, and he has brain damage.

"No, you don't have my permission." My Dad says pointing at him. "Stay aw-."

I cut him off. "I'm not gonna marry Koz, or do anything with him for that matter."

My Dad turns around and looks at me. "You promise your not gonna be Koz's Old Lady?" he asks seriously

I glace at Happy, meeting his eyes, for a second before looking in my Dad's eyes. "I promise I won't end up Koz's Old Lady." I swear I see Hap smile when I say this, but when I look over, his face is still completely blank. _I'm imagining shit now, fuckin great!_

"We should go before Koz does something else stupid." Maverick says to my dad, before turning to me. "I'll see you sometime, hopefully soon. Maybe you can visit Tacoma and see your Aunt Sally."

I smile and get off my stool, throwing my arms around him. "I'd love to come up and visit sometime. Make sure you give her a big hug for me ok?" I ask pulling back.

Mav puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me outside. "Course I will. But she won't be happy, she told me to kidnap ya." He says and laughs

I shake my head and chuckle, "I don't know when, but I'll come up, I promise."

"Even though I'd love for you to come up immediately, there's no rush. You just better start taking care of yourself, and let these bastards deal with shit for themselves." He says raising his eyebrow at me.

"I take care of myself just fine." I say with a huff

He shakes his head, as we near the bikes. "Darlin' no ya don't. You look like you haven't slept in days, and you said you haven't eaten since yesterday. You…" he pauses in front of his bike. "You love this club and we all know and appreciate it, but you just need to let these guys take care of their own shit, so you can be ok." He says looking at me

I shake my head, "I like taking care of everyone, or just helping in any way I can."

"Your Mom was the same way, could have anyone begging at her feet, yet she didn't make them. She pulled people up, and took care of them, didn't kick them when they were down." He shakes his head and chuckles, "Well no I take that back, your Mom would kick someone when they were down, if they were messing with her family. You draw people in, you make them care, and you get that from Alana. You're more like her than just your appearance."

My lip starts quivering and I look up at the sky to keep the tears at bay.

Maverick sighs, "Look everyone worries about you, especially your Dad. At least let someone take care of you, if you won't take care of yourself. I know it's hard for you to do, but just let someone in."

I take a deep breath and see Happy, standing against the clubhouse, out of the corner of my eye. "What if someone sneaks in, and doesn't really give a shit about me?"

He shakes his head. "I've never seen anyone meet you and not give a shit about you. Look at Tig he doesn't give a shit about anyone but the club and himself. He may be an asshole to you most times but he'd do damn near anything you asked him too, and the same goes for any of these guys." He says waving his hand at the clubhouse. "Even Koz and Happy were pulled in the last time they were here."

I look at him incredulously. "No they weren't"

"Happy took care of you during your panic attack, and was protective of you. And Koz didn't have to come down here. But he wanted to see you."

I scoff, "Koz is just flirting."

Maverick looks skeptical, "Maybe, but maybe not. Koz asked you to marry him, and even stated it to the whole club; he's telling everyone else to back off."

I shake my head, "Koz may like me and think I'm hot, but it's not a real thing."

He raises his eyebrows, "I've seen Koz do a lot of shit to get a woman in bed, but never anything like this."

_That's because he's trying to prove shit to Happy again._ I think, and I wave off what he said, as Koz comes over to his bike.

"Hey Beautiful, I'm glad you waited for me." Koz says loudly and scoops me into a hug, never breaking his stride.

"Uh… No problem?" I say returning his hug, not as tightly as he's hugging me though

"I talked to Hap, but I don't think I got through that thick skull of his. So your just gonna have to follow my lead ok?" he whispers in my ear

I squeeze him tighter. "Don't do anything Koz. What did you say to him?" I say worried there will be some sort of fight.

I feel him smile against my cheek. "I told him how fuckin lucky he is to have you, and how stupid he is for being an asshole to you." He says, pulls back and meets my eyes. "I also told him that I'm jealous that he gets to be around you all the time." His green eyes are totally serious.

"Uh…" I trail off not sure of what to say, and taken aback by the serious turn Koz has taken.

Koz smirks, and then leans down and kisses me, using the opportunity to push his tongue against mine, since my mouth was still partially open in shock. I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he pulls me tighter into him with his hands on my ass. I stand there surprised and tense without kissing him back, and take in the fact that although he's a good kisser, attractive, makes me laugh, and I could easily be with him.

He's no Happy.

My eyes aren't drawn to everything he does, I don't get all tingly just by hearing his voice, or a touch of his hand. It's the opposite actually. It all feels wrong, dirty somehow to kiss someone who isn't _My Cupcake_. I realize that despite the fact that Happy doesn't want me, I sure as shit want him, all of him, the good, the bad, the fucking ruthless, _ALL_ of him. But then again I already knew this, that's why I've been so upset about everything. I just never allowed myself to admit it, because admitting it makes it real.

I shove Koz away harder than I thought possible, and he stumbles. When he rights himself without falling, I walk up and punch him in his mouth.

"Jesus every time I come here I get hit in the face." He says holding his hand to his lip, before pulling it away to see blood. "And you make me bleed."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I hiss

Koz smirks, "Had to know what all the fuss was about. And I gotta say even though ya didn't kiss me back it was still good."

I narrow my eyes and punch him in the stomach. "Not fuckin cool."

He rubs his stomach, "Ouch! I'm just tryin to make you and Hap see what's right in front of you both. It's like you're both blind or some shit."

"Asshole, you're not helping you're making it worse!" I spit

He raises his eyebrows, "Am I?"

Just as I cock my head to ask him what he's talking about, Koz is shoved backwards and falls to the ground, while an arm pulls me away. I realize that since my back was to the clubhouse I couldn't see any of the other guys, but Koz could and he definitely saw Happy coming.

Hap pulls me a few feet away and jumps on top of Koz, grabbing his neck. "I fuckin_ told_ you not to touch her!" I hear him growl and walk closer to them

"Why can't I touch her?" Koz asks faking confusion

I see Happy narrow his eyes, "You accuse me of not back off last night, and she fucking wanted me. But now you go and pull this shit when _she doesn't want you_." He spits

Koz raises his eyebrows, "What makes you think she doesn't want me?"

"She doesn't. She didn't look like she fuckin wanted you." Hap says tighten his hold on Koz.

Koz chuckles and looks Happy in the eyes. "That's because she wasn't expecting me to kiss her in front of everyone, after what we shared last night." As the last word escapes his mouth, Happy punches him in his nose; I hear a crack and see blood fly.

Hap only gets the one hit in as the rest of the guys quickly run over and pull Happy off Koz, mid swing for another punch.

"Relax Killah." Tig says

"Hap, come on man." Juice says

"Aye, good hit." Chibs says

"Fuck, just calm down." Bobby says

Koz groans, "In the fuckin nose again, really Hap?"

Happy glares, as all the guys except my Dad, Maverick, and Jax hold him back. "You're lucky I didn't break your fuckin neck." He spits, before breaking away from, Bobby, Tig, Juice, Kip, Chibs, and Opie. He storms back into the clubhouse, and slams the door.

As Koz stands up Jax steps into his face. "Stay away from my sister." He says trying to hold his anger back and shoves him toward his bike. "I think it best you don't come around for a while."

I frown and Koz sees it. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'll be back." He says looking at me and winking.

"You wanna come back that's fine, but my daughter isn't some random girl you can fuck and duck." My dad says throwing him a towel. "And since that's all you do, you'll stay the fuck away from her."

"And if she wanted to be with me?" Koz asks with a smirk. I realize a couple things about the Tacoma Sgt. at Arms. He's got a fucking death wish, and a hell of a poker face, or he's just delusional, hell maybe he's even retarded.

My Dad steps in Koz's face. "Off limits, got it?" he growls poking Koz in the chest with each word

Koz nods and looks at me. "Sorry Red, looks like me and you is a no go." He says and winks again.

My Dad sees the wink and makes a grab for Koz, but Maverick pushes Koz into his bike. "Idiot, get on your bike." Mav says then turns to my Dad. "Next time I won't bring the asshole." He says pointing at Koz.

My Dad nods, "It was good seeing you brother." He says giving Mav a hug.

I tune them out as I see Koz motioning to me; I frown but move closer to him. "What?" I whisper once I'm close enough.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you like I did." He says genuinely

I cock my head at him. "Why the change in your tune?"

He shakes his head. "I can be an asshole," I snort. "Fine, I'm an asshole, but everything I did was to help. Or else I'd never have forced you into anything."

I cock my eyebrow at him. "You realize that in helping, you made shit worse and now your nose is broken again, and you're bleeding." I say pointing at his lip

He shrugs, "If it's the price I gotta pay so that my brother will stop being so stupid, then so be it." He says seriously before smirking at me. "It doesn't hurt that you have one hell of a great ass either."

I give him a small smile, "Thanks, for the compliment."

Koz shakes his head. "I bleed for you, yet you don't give a shit." He says with a smile

"Nope." I say popping the p.

He narrows his eyes and cocks his head at me. "You ok? You didn't do anything when Hap jumped on me, and now no witty banter, something's wrong." He says with a frown

I see all the other guys frowning at me also. "There's tons of shit wrong with me, that's not news." I say walking away only to get lightheaded again.

Chibs grabs me and carries me into the clubhouse. "Ya need food before ya pass out."

I nod, and look over his shoulder at Mav and Koz. "Bye guys, it's been…. Interesting." I say with a smile. They wave their goodbyes as Chibs walks into the clubhouse and sits me at the bar.

"Can ya manage to stay up right while I get ya something to eat?" I nod and he walks away to the kitchen.

I put my head down on my arms, on top of the bar, and take a few deep breaths.

"Did you fuck Koz?" I hear Happy ask me calmly, close by.

I lift my head slowly and turn on my stool, then look up at him. "I have no interest in him."

He narrows his eyes. "That doesn't mean you didn't fuck him." He points out, grinding his teeth. I stand up, only to stumble. Hap grabs my hip and pushes me back onto the stool, and steps in close to me. "Did you fuck him?" he asks roughly and quietly.

"No, I didn't." I say, trying not to let the hurt show in my voice, pushing his hand off my hip, and turning my back to him, but he pulls me back to face him. "What?"

Happy frowns as he searches my face, before touching my cheek with his fingers. "I-."

I put my hand on top of his and meet his eyes. "Thank you." I say softly, pull his hand away and kiss his palm.

Hap cocks his head and looks surprised.

"We don't have much food back there darlin', so cookies will have to do." Chibs says interrupting whatever Happy was gonna do or say.

I nod, "Thanks." I mumble grabbing the bag of chocolate chip cookies from him.

"Bobby made 'em so don't worry, they're good." Chibs says looking between me and Happy.

I nod, and turn back around on the stool to face the bar, as I open the bag of cookies and take one out. "Oh my god, these are fuckin heavenly." I mumble-moan as I take a bite

Chibs sits on the stool next to me. "Like I'd ever steer ya wrong, Sweetheart." He says with a smirk and a wink.

I hear Happy growl from behind me, roll my eyes, put my head on my arm and continue eating my cookie.

Chibs turns around and looks at him. "Relax Brotha, ya don't gotta worry about me getting all up on ya woman."

"You feelin better Princess?" I hear my Dad ask as the door opens and light floods the room, thankfully cutting off another tense and awkward moment.

I nod and turn to face everyone, "These cookies are delicious." I say biting into another one and waving it around.

"Well you can talk to Bobby all about them when he gets back from Tahoe." My Dad says

"I'm glad he's still performing, no one does Elvis better than Bobby." I say

"Hey Sis, you know where those maps are of different counties in Cali?" Jax asks.

I nod, "In the bottom drawer of my desk, underneath the lock box, in the office."

"You got the key to the office?" he asks

"Mm hmm." I say around my mouthful of cookie. "In my purse… Where is my purse?" I ask when I don't see it.

"Right here." Juice says from behind the bar, with my purse in hand.

"Thanks Juicy. Bite?" I ask holding up a cookie, as Jax gets the office keys out of my bag.

"You just kiss Koz, and now you're offering your cookie to Juice." Tig says with a leer, and shakes his head. "You're really gettin around, when's my turn?"

I look at my wrist like I have a watch on. "Hmmm…. I can pencil you in at quarter past when hell freezes over, or half past never." I look up at him from my wrist, and cock an eyebrow. "Which works better for you?"

The guys all laugh, and I look at them all, but realize Happy isn't smiling, he has his eyebrows raised and doesn't look amused.

"Why you gotta be such a bitch to me, but cool with everyone else?" Tig asks "Do I gotta beat someone's ass for you like Hap did or….. Wait what was up with that?" Tig questions and glances at Happy, who shrugs.

I roll my eyes at him. "I'm such a bitch to you, because you're such a creepy asshole to me." I say hoping to divert his attention from Happy attacking Koz because of me.

Tig narrows his eyes at me. "Why'd you kick Koz's ass over Mac, Happy?"

"Koz was told to back off last time he was here. He crossed a line, so I threw him back over it." Happy says with a shrug, his voice harsh.

Tig raises his eyebrows, and cocks his head. "Why'd you-."

My Dad puts his hand on Tig's shoulder, cutting him off. "Relax, Hap was just protecting Mac, since she obviously didn't want Koz all over her." He turns and looks at Happy. "I appreciate you doing that."

Happy runs a hand over his head, and nods. "No problem."

"Ya seem better, how ya feelin darlin'?" Chibs asks me.

"I'm good; I just gotta run home and change before I go to the hospital." I say standing up and handing Juice the empty bag, with cookie crumbs in it.

"No you don't." my Dad says as I pick my purse up.

I look at him confused. "What, do you mean no I don't?"

"You're not going anywhere alone. Happy go with her." He says

"Is there a security risk or something? Because I can take care of myself, I don't need a babysitter, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna be sitting in the hospital anyways." I say

My Dad shakes his head. "No there's not. We got club business to take care of, so we won't be able to get to you if you have a panic attack."

"If you have club business then shouldn't the whole club be with you? Happy's SAMCRO now and Bobby's not here, so he should go with you." I see Hap narrow his eyes at me.

"Hap's a little tense right now, so he needs to relax a bit." My Dad says, and glances at Happy.

"I can do any job that needs to be done." Happy says a bit angrily

My Dad nods, still looking at him, "Glad to hear it, because I need you to take care of my daughter." Happy looks back at him for a minute before nodding slowly

I scoff, "This is such bullshit! I don't need a fuckin sitter."

"That includes making sure she eats, since she clearly can't remember for herself." My Dad continues ignoring me.

"Got it." Happy says

"Thanks for ignoring me, this is Fucking bullshit!" I spit, picking up my purse and walking out the door. "Like I'm some helpless little fucking girl, or some shit. I'm a fuckin adult, but can he see that? Noooooo." I rant to myself as I walk to my car. "Apparently I'm incapable of being by myself because I forgot to fucking eat yesterday. It's not everyday I find my brothers skanky crack whore, pregnant soon to be ex-wife passed out. And then my nephew's born, has all these issues, and might not make it. So fucking excuse me that I didn't fucking eat, I was a little fuckin busy!" I continue while digging in my purse.

"You done?" Happy asks, and I jump.

"No I'm not fuckin done! Where are my fuckin keys?"

Hap grabs my purse from my hands, puts his hand in and pulls my keys out instantly. "Right here." He says holding them in the palm of his hand, while handing me back my purse.

"Than-." I start as I grab for the keys, but he pulls his hand away before I can get them. "Give me my keys." I say and sigh, trying to calm down.

He shakes his head. "You're not driving."

I raise my eyebrows. "I'm driving my caddy, you can follow me on your bike or not, whatever." I say grabbing for the keys again, but he curls his fist around them. "Come on, give them to me. I wanna get to the hospital some time this morning."

"That isn't gonna happen."

"You gonna stop me from seeing my nephew? You better be prepared to do more than throw me over your shoulder then."

Hap cocks his eyebrow. "I'm always prepared to do more to you than that. But what I meant was, it's not gonna happen because it's one thirty, in the afternoon."

"Oh, well then give me my keys so I can get there already." I say, putting my hand out and trying not to imagine him doing whatever he's prepared to do.

"I'm not taking my bike." He says putting the keys in my hand, when I grab them; he lifts the keys in his hand over his head.

"How sad for you. Give me my keys." I say getting frustrated and tapping my foot.

"Why would I give you the keys, when I'm driving?"

"Like hell you are! Give me my keys now."

"Not gonna happen, unless you can reach them shortie." He taunts

I narrow my eyes at him. "And what's to stop me from kicking you in the balls, taking _my _keys and leaving your ass here?"

He narrows his eyes back at me then shrugs. "Try it."

"It's gonna hurt, these shoes will probably leave a mark." I say wiggling my foot.

"It's a good thing _I'm_ driving to the hospital then." He says

"Don't make me do this. Just give me my fucking keys!"

"I'm driving, regardless."

I sigh, "Fine, have it your way." I say taking a step back and I see him prepare himself. I hide my smirk, give a little run, hop and jump, and wrap my legs around his waist. As Happy scrambles to put his arm around me to hold me up, which isn't necessary since I've got a strong hold with my legs, I grab the keys from his hand while grinding my hips, before hopping down and walking to my car, swinging my hips.

Just as I put the key in the lock, I'm pressed flat against the side of the car, with Happy pressing against my back. My body decides this is fucking amazing and is flooded joy and desire.

Hap moves my hair away from my ear. "You think your fuckin cleaver don't ya?" when I don't say anything, he presses me into the car harder, and I can feel how hard his dick is. "Don't you?" he growls

I nod, "Yeah."

"But you forgot somethin'," he says in my ear.

"What?" I breathe

He bites my ear lobe, "What did I tell you about playin with me?" he asks as I feel his hand on my bare thigh. When I don't say anything, he moves his hand up and plays with the edge of my panties. "What did I tell you?"

I lick my lips, "That you'd be on me before I could blink."

"What else?" he asks placing his hand over my panty covered pussy.

"You'd… You'd fuck me until I couldn't breathe?" I ask shifting my hips, but he moves his hand away.

"Good. You want me to fuck you until you can't breathe?" he asks stroking me threw my panties, lightly.

"I… ummmm."

"Your so wet, you want me to fuck you right here, right now?" he asks putting pressure on my clit, with his palm.

I bite my lip and nod.

Happy licks up my neck to my ear. "Well how's it feel to want." He purrs, before pulling away from me completely.

I stand there stunned as my lust laded mind tries to figure out what just happened. Hap pulls me back by my hip, opens the car door, and shoves me in before getting in himself. I look over at him from the passenger seat and see him start the car with a smirk, as it finally registers what just happened.

"You fucking asshole!" I spit

"What, did I do something you didn't like?" he says condescendingly

"You told me if I could reach the keys that I could drive." I point out angrily

"I never said you could drive. You wanted the keys, and I said it wasn't gonna happen unless you could reach them."

"Yeah and I did, so pull over and let me drive."

"Ah ah!" he says waving a finger at me. "I never said you'd keep the keys if you reached them, or that I'd let you drive."

I scoff at him, "You don't have the power to let me do anything."

"Oh no?" he says looking over at me with a raised eyebrow as we stop at a stop sign. "Just a few minutes ago I had the power to make you cum, but I didn't let you."

"Don't talk to me." I say looking out the window, knowing he has me there.

A few minutes later I break the tense silence. "Where the fuck are you going?"

"You said not to talk to you."

"Asshole." I say and shake my head. "You're going the wrong way, jackass."

"I've been to Clay's a lot, I know where I'm going." He says confidently

"Well congratulations on that, but we're not going to his house."

"Where are we going then?"

I smirk, "My boyfriend's house."

"Where?" he growls as he grips the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white.

"Ease up on Violet's leather! Turn left." I give him directions to my house, but never telling him it's just mine, and I don't have a boyfriend.

_Maybe Koz and Gemma were right maybe he does care? No don't think like that, he's just fucking with you again._

When we pull into the drive way I click the button and the garage opens. "You wanna come in?"

Happy doesn't say anything which has been the case for the whole ride since my boyfriend announcement, just shuts the car off, pockets the keys and get out, slamming the door.

"Hey, don't be a douche to my baby!" I say caressing the hood. I walk up and unlock the door to the kitchen and open it wide for him.

Happy looks around, and shakes his head.

"I'm gonna go jump in the shower really quick." I say pulling my heels off, and headed up the stairs.

After I get out of the shower, I pull my hair into a bun and throw on a pair of black yoga pants and a short sleeve blue hoodie, with mushrooms, heart and crossbones, and butterflies. As I pull on a pair of Nike's, I see Happy's boots appear in my doorway, and look up.

"You lied." He says

I cock an eyebrow. "About what?" I feign confusion while tying my laces

"You live here alone, you don't have a boyfriend."

"How would you know that?"

"I looked around and there's no guy living here. You don't have a boyfriend either."

I raise my eyebrows. "You sure about that?" I ask standing up

Hap smirks, "Oh yeah. I found this, but it's mine. And I know a guy wouldn't be cool with his girl having another guys shirt" He says holding up his black shirt I wore home last time.

"That's not yours." I say walking up and grabbing it from him.

He grabs my arm as I turn away from him, and pulls me into his body. "I'm willing to bet anything it's my shirt."

I narrow my eyes at him. "It's not."

He raises his eyebrows. "I'm also willing to bet that no one's been in that tight little pussy of yours, since me."

"Funny 'cause last night I was a whore, and just this morning I fucked Koz. Why don't you make up your fuckin mind?" I spit at him pulling away and walking down the stairs.

When I reach the kitchen I grab an apple and bite into it, getting some sort of satisfaction from the crisp sound when my teeth break the skin as I yell at myself.

_Just because he's fuckin sexy and can make me feel things I didn't know I could feel, doesn't mean anything. He's just messing around, just look at that shit at the car! He was hard and wanted my body but that doesn't mean he wants me, he's just fuckin playin with me. He acts like I'm some big tramp but then says I haven't been with anyone since him. And so fucking what if he's right, he doesn't need to know that he's the only guy that makes my body ignite. _

A tan hand knocks on the counter in front of me. "We goin?" Happy asks

I jump, and nod. I avoid looking at him as I go around the counter and throw the apple core away, before walking to the door. Just as I put my hand on the door knob, he puts his hand on my arm stopping me. "What?" I ask not turning around or looking at him.

"You need to change."

I turn around and glare at him. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Happy narrows his eyes. "You know what's wrong with it."

I shake my head. "There's nothing wrong with wearing this." I say sweeping my hand threw the air in front of my body.

Hap's eyes look down my body slowly, before coming back up to my eyes. "Your pants are skin tight, and your shirts not long enough." He says roughly

I look down at my self. There's maybe an inch, inch and a half, of my stomach showing, before my pants start. And yeah my pants are skin tight, and really leave nothing to the imagination, but their comfortable and I need comfort right about now.

I roll my eyes and push past him, open the door and walk out to my car, waiting for him since he still has _my_ keys. Happy's smart enough not to push me, I don't know if he senses that I'm about a minute away from really losing my shit or what, but he doesn't say anything as he gets in the car, and drives to the hospital.

As soon as we get in the St. Thomas parking lot, I jump out of the car and run to the door, eager to see Abel. As I'm standing at the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly, Happy puts his hand on mine, stopping my nervous energy. The door pops open and I quickly get in and press the button for the NICU.

As we walk down the hallway, "They're gonna do the heart surgery in a little bit. They said it's for the best." Gemma says standing up and giving me a hug.

"What about his stomach?" I question hugging her tightly

She pulls back and holds me by the shoulders. "They already did that, and it went good." She assures me.

I nod. "Can I see him?"

Gemma shrugs, "Maybe, I'm not sure, Doctor Knowles," she sneers the name. "Is being an up tight bitch, like usual."

"What the fuck is she doing back here anyway? I thought Charming was below her." I say angry that the bitch that hurt my brother so bad would be stopping me from seeing my little nephew.

Gemma shrugs, "I'll find out. But I thought you'd be here bright and early, and it's almost three. "

"Over slept." I say

She raises her eyebrows, and looks at me closely. "Really? Because you look like you didn't sleep. Are you ok?" she asks then narrows her eyes at Happy when she finally takes notice of him.

I sigh, "I forgot to eat yesterday, and didn't sleep well. And apparently I need a babysitter so my Dad, put him on duty." I say waving my hand at Happy.

Gemma cocks her head at me. "What's really wrong?" she whispers

I shake my head. "I just wanna focus on Abel, Ok?"

She nods, as a woman with long blonde hair rounds the corner. "Mackenzi? Jesus sweetheart, you grew up!" Luann says hugging me.

I give a quiet and weak chuckle. "Hey Luann. Yeah that tends to happen."

She pulls back and looks me up and down, then lets out a whistle. "Seriously, Gem told me you were lookin hot." She shakes her head. "But she didn't explain. You would be a hit with my viewers." She says pulling the zipper on my hoodie down a little bit. "Great rack."

I shake my head and stop her from zipping it all the way down. "I don't have a shirt on under this. And I'm not interested in being in porn."

Luann raises her eyebrows, "You sure? You could make a lot of money, Hun." She puts her hands on my hips and give a little squeeze. "You got such great curves, your body's fantastic; the guys would really love to watch you-."

Luann stops, and takes a step back, when Happy growls, and pulls me back. He spins me around takes a hold of my zipper and zips my hoodie up but not before staring at my bra for a minute. "Fuckin blue bra." He mumbles before finishing zipping the hoodie up all the way,

I push his hand off and zip it back down a little bit. Happy growls again and zip's it up fully. "This is a hospital not a fuckin strip club." He says roughly

I smack his hand away, and pull it down a little above my boobs. "That's a little dramatic. I just wanna breath a little bit." I say and take a step back from him.

I see Gemma talking to a nurse, before she turns around. "They already took Abel in for his heart surgery. They're not sure how long it will take though, but you can see him after." She tells me.

I frown. "A'ight." I say rubbing my forehead. I feel a hand on my arm, and look up to see Happy.

"Sit down." He says pulling me to a chair, and giving me a little shove to get me in it. Then he crouches down in front of me. "What do you want?" he asks

"You're the one who pulled me over here. What do _you_ want?" I say exasperated.

He shakes his head. "You're still not feelin right. What do you want to eat?"

"I'm fine." I say with a huff

Hap puts his hand on my thigh, and gives it a little squeeze. "No, you're not. Pick something to eat, or I'll pick for you."

I bite my lip, "Umm… I don't know, maybe some kind of sandwich that the hospital can't mess up and make gross."

Happy nods, "Anything you don't like?" when I shake my head, he nods again, squeezes my leg and stands up. "Gemma co-."

Gemma raises her eyebrows. "You gonna tell me to watch her?' she asks incredulously

Hap runs a hand over his scalp. "Yeah."

I scoff, "I don't need to be watched!"

Happy looks at me. "Someone's gotta take care of you." He says and walks away

I watch his back as he walks away, his steps a bit angry, wondering what's going on with him. Its hard to get a read on him, one minute he's all anger and accusing then he's all sexy, dangerous fuck me against my car playful flirt, then sweet and caring. I shake my head, as he rounds a corner.

"Who's was that?" Luann asks

I jump, having forgotten she was there. "That's Happy." I say

She looks down the hallway where Hap disappeared, and then back at me. "That's Happy?" she asks surprised, pointing down the direction he went in.

I nod, and cock my head at her. "You know him?"

Luann shakes her head. "I know _of_ him. But I've never seen him before. What's he doing here?" she asks looking at me curiously.

"He's my babysitter, thanks to my Dad. He's SAMCRO now." I say trying to ignore Luann's stare.

Gemma nods, and Luann raises her eyebrows. "Clay sent the Tacoma killer to keep an eye on you?" she asks worried, and surprised

I shrug. "I'm not in danger or anything, don't worry."

"Clay's just worried about how Mac is dealin with everything." Gemma tells her, waving it off, Luann nods but narrows her eyes at me.

I clear my throat, "So…How's Otto doin?" I ask changing the subject.

"He's good." Luann says, her eyes still narrowed.

"Ok, h-." I stop when I see Happy round the corner holding a bag. "That was quick." I say from my seat when he walks up to me.

He crouches down in front of me again. "They didn't wanna keep me waiting." He says pulling a sub out of the bag. "They only had Turkey and cheese, or ham and cheese, both have all the toppings." He says putting both on my lap.

I grab his arm as he stands up and pull him back down. "Which one do you want?"

Happy looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "I got them both for you, because you need to eat."

"What'd you get?" I ask

He shakes his head. "I just got food for you. Oh and these." He says pulling a bottle of orange juice, and a bottle of apple juice from the bag.

"You gotta eat to, so which do you want? Ham or turkey?"

Happy shakes his head and tries to stand up again, but I pull him back down again, stronger this time. "Here" I say putting the ham and cheese sub in his hand. "Apple or orange?" I ask with a raised eyebrow

He cocks his head at me, "Apple." I put the apple juice in his hand, and meet his eyes as I squeeze his hand and smile.

Hap sits in the chair next to me, and eats his sub as I eat mine. I can't seem to keep my eyes off him, especially his arms and his lips, because every time he takes a drink he licks his lips afterwards. He keeps watching me too, but with a curious expression, his eyes narrowed a bit, as if in thought.

"Thanks for lunch." I say throwing my used napkin in the bag.

Hap nods, and then reaches into the bag. "Here." He says handing me a cupcake, before standing up to throw the trash away.

I can't keep the smile from my face and Gemma laughs. "What's funny?" Luann asks

I shake my head at her, as I lick some chocolate frosting off the top. Happy sits back down next to me and watches my mouth, I smirk at him.

"How long have you two been fucking?" Luann asks suddenly

"We not." I say and then lick the frosting off my lips

She shakes her head. "I watch people fuck all day long; I know what sexual tension looks like." She points between me and Happy. "And that's it."

Happy scowls at her. "Luann didn't you say you had to go into work?" Gemma hints.

"I… um yeah. I'll see everyone later." She says standing up, and hugging Gemma, then kisses me on the cheek. "Congrats." She says to me then walks away.

**-BIA-**

After sitting around, watching the sunset through the window, flipping through old magazines, drawing and trying not to jump into Happy's lap, for however many hours, a doctor finally comes out to talk to us. And of fucking course it has to be Tara.

I jump up the instant I see her, Gemma and Happy quickly follow suit. My eyes start to burn as I take in Tara's frown. "What?..." I ask

Tara rolls her shoulders, "The surgery went good, he's gonna be ok. But he'll have to stay in an incubator for a while….." she says then trails off into a bunch of medical jargon.

I hold my hand up at her. "Did you just say Abel's ok?"

Tara nods. "Yes I j-."

"I fucking knew it!" I exclaim and Gemma hugs me tightly as I feel tears fall down my face. Once Gemma and I break apart, I turn to Tara. "When can we see him?"

"In a little while, there still closing up, but he'll be back in his room soon." She says

I nod, and turn my back to her. "I was waiting to buy baby stuff, but now that I know that Abel's a boy, I gotta go get him stuff!"

Happy rubs my cheeks with his fingers. "Why are you cryin?" he asks confused

I look up at him. "He's gonna be ok, I figured he would, I mean he's Jax's little boy. But he's so small and then with his belly and heart. And then his piece of shit mother." I spit then shake my head. "I feel so relieved that he's gonna be fine ya know?" I explain.

Hap still looks confused, so I turn to Gemma. "You know wh-." I stop when I don't see her. "Where'd Gemma go?" I ask Happy

He shrugs, "She was just here a minute ago, maybe she went to call Jax?"

I nod, "Probably." I say and start pacing. "Jesus Jax is a Dad, and I'm an aunt." I say shaking my head. "It seems so weird."

"What do you mean?" he asks

I keep pacing. "It's just that Jax is a lot of things; But to me he's always been the annoying, cocky, arrogant, need no one's help for anything, know it all older brother. But now he's got a little baby, he's officially a Dad. It's just hard to imagine the Jax I know and love as a parent." I shake my head. "I know he can do it, that's not what I'm saying. It just seems so odd, is all. I'm not explaining this right." I ramble only taking a break for a breath once.

Happy puts his hand on my shoulder. "Stop and Breathe." He says

"Look I know you haven't been comfortable being in this hospital all day. But I'm excited and nervous and I just wanna see the little man. But I have nothing else to do but pace, and ramble. So if I'm annoying you then just take a step back or something, a'ight?"

Hap raises his eyebrows. "You're not annoying me. But the doctor's mig-." He stops as I hug him tightly. Happy wraps his arms around me and holds me while my tears of joy rain down on his cut.

Sometime later as he's still holding me I hear a throat clear, but I don't move. It just feels too good to be in his arms, even though I'm no longer crying.

"What is it Doc?" Hap asks

I hear a throat clear, "Well… if you want to see Abel, I can take you." Tara says

I nod and pull back from Happy. "Lead the way." I tell her.

Tara looks between the two of us, "Follow me." She says turning away, as we follow. "You can actually go in the room, now. Although you can't hold him yet." She says as we stop in front of a closed door, that she opens.

I step in, rush to the side of the incubator, and place my hand on the incubator near Abel's. "Hey Abel, I'm your Aunt Mac." I say as tears fall again. "I got your back, no matter what, you can count on Auntie Mac, Ok?"

Abel makes a little baby gurgle noise at me, I laugh. "That's right little one, even when your Daddy's being a poop head."

"He is really small." Happy says quietly

I glance over my shoulder and see him leaning against the door frame. "He is, but he's a fighter." I look back at Abel. "You'll fit right in with the rest of the family."

**-BIA-**

I'm sitting in a rocking chair, next to Abel while I talk to him about random stuff, when I see Jax through the glass, next to Happy, wearing mint green scrubs. I jump up, run out and hug him. "Abel's good." I say squeezing him

Jax hugs me back, "I know I can't believe it." He says a little bit emotional.

I pull back and kiss his cheek. "Congratulations Daddy!" I say crying when I see the tears in his eyes.

Jax smiles, "Thanks." Then he looks at me and cocks his head. "You've been here all day, haven't you?"

I nod, "Well yeah I was hanging with the little man."

Jax kisses me on the forehead, "Go home, get some sleep, and relax. There's plenty of time for you to hang with the kid."

I shake my head, "But I -."

He shakes his head back at me. "No, while I sit with Abel, you're gonna be at home sleeping. Got it." He says assertively

I pout, "I wann-."

Jax turns to Happy. "Make sure she gets home safe, a'ight?"

Hap nods, "Congrats Brother." he says clasping Jax's shoulder

Jax smiles, "Thanks man." He says then looks at me. "Fifty bucks says she's asleep before you get her home."

Happy scoffs, "One hundred says she's out before we exit Main street."

I narrow my eyes at both of them. "I'm not tired." I huff, then smile. "Ok I'll see you tomorrow." I say to Jax and give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"At the garage." He says when I pull back

"What?" I ask confused

"I know you wanna be here for the kid, but you gotta run the garage. It's hell there without you."

I pout, "But I wanna see Abel."

Jax shakes his head. "Don't use that on me. You can see him, just after work."

I smile triumphantly, "Ok."

He narrows his eyes. "And lunch breaks are for lunch. Not running up here to see him."

I sigh, "Fine." I turn and go back into the room to see Abel. "I'll be back little man, but for now you gotta see your Daddy." I say and blow him a kiss. "Love you." I tell him, before turning and walking back out to the guys, "Ok let's leave then." I say and pout.

"Stop the pout before you have everyone wrapped around your little finger." Gemma says stepping into the hallway.

I smile. "Sure thing Grandma. See you all tomorrow." I say and walk out the door.

When we reach the parking lot I see my Dad parking his bike. "Night Dad." I say walking up to give him a kiss on his cheek.

He frowns at me. "Why aren't you staying?"

"Jax kicked me out."

"No he didn't" Happy says.

I turn and glare at him. "Who's side are you on?" I ask then turn back to my dad. "So I'm going home."

My dad nods, "Get some sleep." He says and kisses my forehead. "Take care of her Hap." He says and walks inside the hospital.

"You ready to go?" Happy asks me as I'm frowning at my Dad's back

I nod, "I guess." I say and walk over to my car.

**-BIA-**

I must fall asleep at some point after I got in the passenger seat because suddenly I wake up partially. My head's on Happy's shoulder while he carries me.

"A hundred bucks richer." He mumbles as he lays me down.

I feel his hands on my feet, and wonder what he's doing, but don't want to spare the energy to ask so I just groan.

"Shhh relax baby, I'm just taking your sneakers and socks off." He says.

My brain registers that he called me baby, but files it away for later inspection. I feel his warm hands on my toes, and wiggle my feet.

Hap chuckles, "Ticklish." He mumbles

I roll over a few times trying to get comfortable, but it's not happening. I groan and sit up.

"Just lay down and go to sleep." Happy tells me.

I groan again, unzip hoodie, pull it off, and throw it across the room.I pull my pants off, without getting up, and throw them in what I figure is the same general direction as I threw my hoodie. Before laying back down and rolling over.

"Fucking blue g- string." I hear Happy growl, as I fall back to sleep.

**A/N- Review and let me know what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Shout out to Lauren (Bad Company) for keeping me sane, and listening to all my rambled ideas, and answer my weird random questions.**

**I leave tomorrow for my vacation, and I probably won't be able to write. I'll still try to though because I seem to be addicted to writing. But I will be back soon, I PROMISE! So don't worry more 'Born Into Anarchy' will be coming your way soon...  
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**So this chapter was supposed to be longer, and cover more things, but I have some shit to get done. What takes place here is set during episode 2; Seeds. Links for pictures are on my profile.  
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**I try to stay as close to the season and story as possible. Except of course there's no Mac on the show, and Happy is still with Tacoma. But I couldn't allow his hottness to be anywhere else, other than Charming or my brain.**

**I own nothing you recognize. Although I do own season 1 on DVD and will be taking it with me on my Vacation so I can get my Happy fix. Well I love all the guys really, so I guess I should say my SOA fix. Fuck I can't wait until August 31st, when Season 2 comes out on DVD!**

**So this chapter is dedicated to all the reviewers. Your reviews truly make me laugh my ass off sometimes, and I love hearing the feedback. I like to go back and read through them when I'm having a shitty day. So thanks everyone, and this is for you...  
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***~*Chapter 13*~***

As soon as I wake up, I jump out of bed. I'm not a morning person, I'm more of a let me sleep in as long as I want and I won't kick your ass kind of person. But this morning, I'm in a good mood. The family's all good, Abel is getting stronger by the second, and Happy called me baby last night. I do the running man and cabbage patch for a minute like a dork, while holding in my laughter, not wanting to wake my Dad up.

I freeze and smack myself on the forehead, realizing I have my own place and I can do what I want. I realize that I'm hungry and decide to go downstairs and make myself something delicious. I look down at myself and debate if I should put some clothes on, since I'm wearing my bra and panties from yesterday. I shrug and figure if someone stops by then I can cover my ass with a blanket or something since I'm wearing a g string instead of cheekies. I grab my Ipod off the dock, that I don't remember putting there, and head down stairs.

Once I'm downstairs, I instantly plug my Ipod, into my surround sound system, and select my dance playlist, cranking the volume. King's of Leon's 'Use Somebody' blasts threw the speakers; I sing along and move to the kitchen. I quickly discover that I need to go to the store, because I have basically no, what some people call, real food. I have cereal and pop tarts, but I want food, food.

As King's of Leon, turns into Nine Inch Nails' 'Closer', I run over to the Ipod and turn the volume up louder, and shake my ass along while deciding some scrambled eggs sound wonderful. I grab a frying pan, sit it on the stove, and dance my way to the fridge to grab the carton of eggs.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal._

_I wanna feel you from the inside. _

_I wanna fuck you like an annnimaal._

_My whole existence is flawed_

_You get me closer to god_

I sing along loudly with Trent Reznor, while swinging my hips, turn around from the fridge and run into a chest.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I yell my heart racing and strike out with my fist.

I hear a groan. "Fuck!" I hear Happy's raspy voice exclaim.

"Shit, are you ok? Wait, what the fuck are you doing here?" I ask breathing a sigh of relief.

"I slept here." He says holding his stomach

I pull his hand away, "Who said you could sleep here?" I ask. Hap pulls his hand out of mine and grabs his stomach again. "Come on let me take a look, ya big baby."

He narrows his eyes, "Why when you'll just hit me again."

I roll my eyes at him, while pulling his hand away I realize he's shirtless and smile. "There's no mark or anything." I say then touch the spot he was holding, right over some smiley face tattoos under his heart.

Happy winces. "I think you broke my rib." He says backing up

I step up to him, "You shouldn't have snuck up on me like that." I say and rub my thumb over the spot that's turning red. "Sor-." I start softly, but Happy stops my hand and lifts my chin.

He meets my eyes, "I'm fine."

I cock my head at him. "You said I broke your rib."

Hap smiles and shakes his head. "I was jokin."

I narrow my eyes. "Asshole, I thought I hurt you." I say a give him a little shove.

"You always hit that hard?" he asks rubbing his side a little.

"Yeah, especially if someone sneaks up on me. What were you doin anyway?"

Happy smirks, "Enjoyin the show."

I cock my head. "What are you talking about?"

He looks me up and down slowly, while licking his lips. I hold back my shiver. "I was watching you dance around."

"How…"I clear my throat. "How is that a show? You've seen me dance before."

Hap shakes his head and takes a step towards me. "I've never seen you dance around wearing this." He says as I feel his finger move my bottoms and rub my hip lightly with his knuckle.

I look down and see his tan finger, against my creamy skin, while he's working the strap to my g string with his fingertips, as his knuckle glides softly against my hip and shiver. "I didn't know you were here." I say quietly looking back up at him

He raises his eyebrows. "You wouldn't walk around in just this for me?"

I lick my lips. "No." I say backing up, but he comes with me

"Why wouldn't you walk around in this for me?" he asks his voice extra deep

"For," I pause to lick my lips again. "For you I would prefer to walk around naked." I say my voice breathless.

The instant I say the last syllable, Happy's tongue is in my mouth. Demanding, caressing, possessing, and massaging my tongue with his. I shiver, as my whole body is flooded with such longing its ridiculous. I throw my arm around his neck, and pull us tighter together. With his bare chest against the lace of my bra, I can feel his heart racing.

Hap pulls back and puts his forehead on mine; breathing heavily, while rubbing his hands up and down my sides.

It's then that I realize the cartons of eggs are still in my hand. "Hungry?" I ask a little shakily

Happy's eyes flash. "Starvin." He says, picks me up by my hips and sits me on the counter.

"Would you like some-."

"I'd fuckin love some." He growls, and rips my panties off. Happy grabs my knees and pulls my legs apart as he leans down, "You're fuckin bare." He says roughly

"I thought I'd try it…?"

Hap looks up at me, and I can feel myself becoming wetter because of the pure desire in his eyes. "I…." he trails off and shakes his head.

"Wh-." I don't get any farther, as suddenly Happy's tongue is caressing my pussy. His slow, demanding and sure strokes have me grinding my hips into his face, while holding his head still. This isn't like the first time. That time it was as if he wanted to know what I tasted like. No this time, it's as if he's starved for me, just like he said.

"Hap." I moan and arch my back farther as he circles my clit with his tongue but never touching it. "Please." I whimper working my hips harder. Hap growls, sending vibrations up and through my body, and then flutters his tongue on my clit.

"Holy Happy!" I shout with a moan, as my whole body combusts and shivers.

As I come down, I feel Happy kissing his way slowly up my body. "You like that?"

"Fuck, yes." I breathe out.

Hap chuckles against my ribs, and then bites lightly. "I can do that again then."

I nod, "Whenever the fuck you want." I answer, even though it wasn't a question.

He stands up, while pulling me to him by my knees. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

I kiss the red mark from me hitting him, and he groans. "I hope so." I say looking in his eyes as I'm pulling at his pants, which are hanging low on his hips.

"You want somethin?" he asks. I nod and he smirks. "What do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me." I say as I finally get the button popped open on his jeans

Happy stops my hand after I lower his zipper, "How do you want me to fuck you?" he asks roughly as his pants slide down his legs, and he steps out of them.

"Any way you want."

Hap's eyes flash and he grins, before he pulls down his boxers, and thrusts into me fast and hard. I thrust my hips back at him instantly just as hard. Happy then pushes me so I'm laying on my back, rips my bra off, and takes a hold of my hips added to the strength of my thrusts at him.

"So fuckin good." I moan at him. I rotate my hips and Happy groans, so I do it again when he thrusts in. Hap tightens his hold on my hips as he picks up speed, and pulls my hips into his hard. As I'm so close, a moaning and whimpering mess, I hear a phone ring. "Don't you dare stop." I growl at him.

Happy smirks at me, then pulls out and bends down to get his phone. "You fu-." I stop as he stands back up and immediately thrusts back in. "Don't stop." I say with a whimper, before he flips his phone open.

"What?" he yells into his phone, while using his anger at being interrupted to fuck me harder. I start to whimper and he covers my mouth. I bite his hand and he glares at me.

I pull his hand back, "Lay on the floor." I mouth to him.

Happy frowns and narrows his eyes but slowly does as I say, pulling out and then laying flat on his back on the kitchen floor. I watch Hap as I hop off the counter, and walk over to him.

"Yeah, I'll be in. I gotta wait for Mac-FUCK!" he shouts as I impale myself on his dick.

"Stubbed my toe." He says to whoever's on the phone, in a strained voice. I smirk at him, as I slowly start grinding our hips together. Happy narrows his eyes at me, and puts his hand on my hip to try and guide me.

I shake my head at him, grab his hand and hold it by his side, as I start riding him harder. I give an extra little shove on his hand to tell him to keep it there, before putting my hands on his chest, riding harder, and then scratching my nails down to his belly button.

"Fuck off." He growls and hangs up his phone. I smirk as I push myself up slowly using his chest, before lowering myself hard, then grinding my hips.

I lean down and press our chests together then lick up his neck. "You like this?" I ask grinding myself down on him just a bit harder.

"Fuck!" he says, grabbing my hips.

"No, no." I say and grab his hands holding them over his head this time. Happy narrows his eyes, but doesn't over power me. "Very good." I say and Hap flexes his hips up. I moan, put his hands together behind his head and then sit up. I flex my hips up and down, and in circles, until Happy's grinding his teeth. "Problem, Cupcake?" I ask

"You-." He's cut off by his phone ringing again. "I'm gonna fuckin kill someone." He grounds out

"Me, fucking too." I say riding him hard, my breathing all choppy.

"The fuck you want?" he yells into the phone while he thrusts his hips up.

His voice and tone add to my desire, and I feel my orgasm closing in on me. I keep riding him, even though I'm unsure of how to muffle what's sure to be a very loud, and pretty fucking obvious sound of me cumming.

"I'll be in soon, Jesus!" He spits.

"Calm down." I mouth to him

Happy narrows his eyes, and then flips me onto my back. I can't control myself and I whimper. Hap puts his hand over my mouth and starts fucking me. "I don't give a fuck; I can roll with whoever needs me… I'll be in soon and we can fuckin talk about it then" he growls fucking me harder with each word.

My orgasm is being illusive as fuck, just keeps building and building but won't crest. I'm thrusting my hips with Happy, whimpering because it feels so good, and digging the heels of my feet into his ass.

"Shut the fuck up!" he yells suddenly while pounding his hips into mine. That's all it takes and the illusive, sparks, ignites and a full on fucking cataclysmic orgasm damn near drowns me.

"I'll fuckin call you back." Happy spits into the phone and hangs up. Hap grabs my hip and my hair, "Fuck Baby I'm sorry." He says never once slowing or stopping his thrusts.

I'm not sure what he's apologizing for, but I don't care. As my orgasm is still raining down on me, and he's continued aggressive movements are only building another.

"Happy, don't fucking stop. Please don't stop. Don't ever fuckin stop!" I ramble- moan at him. "God… Shit…Don't ….fuckin…stop….feels… so good….FUCK!" I shout and dig my nails into his back as another orgasm damn near makes me go blind.

I feel Happy continue to pound into me as I float on, what I'm sure is cloud nine. Hap shudders, and groans. "Strawberry." He grounds out, before stilling completely

We lay together, Happy still buried inside me, with his face in my neck and hair, neither of us moving or saying anything. Just breathing deeply and relaxing, for a few minutes. Then his phone rings again. I sigh and he groans, before fumbling around until he grabs his phone.

"I will shoot you in your fucki-…. Hey Clay." He starts deadly, but trails off to calm and relaxed. This really isn't the tone a person should be able to use, when balls deep in their President's daughter's pussy, after having just fucked her brains out, and talking to said President. It gives me a whole new level of respect for Hap that he can be so calm in such a fucked up situation.

"I'd be in sooner if they stopped fuckin callin me." Hap says roughly. My hips automatically shift up at his tone and Happy narrows his eyes at me.

I smirk up at him, start kissing up his neck to his ear without the phone, and bite his earlobe, then swirl my tongue around the shell. I silently laugh as he shivers, but stop as soon as I feel him hard again, and moan quietly.

Happy pulls my head away from his ear, by my hair and kisses me, while thrusting into me. His kiss is rough and punishing, almost as if he's trying to put me in my place for distracting him from his conversation. Hap keeps his tongue and hips in sync, demanding I don't pull him from his call, but I'm not sure he's even listening to whoever's on the phone anymore.

Happy pulls back on the kiss, while pulling his dick nearly all the way out of me and sucks on my tongue ring. Before plunging his tongue back into my mouth, and thrusting into me hard, then grinding his hips, which adds friction on my, already over stimulated, clit. I whimper and moan around his tongue, while flexing my hips with his and shuddering, as I ride the orgasm out.

Hap seems to be in some sort of frenzy, as he breaks the kiss, covers my mouth with his hand, and bites my nipple really fucking hard. Then he sucks on my nipple before putting his tongue under the chain on my nipple ring and tugging on it. I scream in pure ecstasy, into his hand, as he continues to literally pound his hips into me, while doing all this. I literally see fucking stars and fireworks as he makes me cum, for the second time in like three minutes. Happy gives a couple more sharp thrusts before groaning around my nipple then stilling.

As we're both struggling to catch our breaths, from the fastest, sexiest, and quickest sex ever. I hear something that I never wanna fucking hear. Especially after just having my whole body rocked.

"HAPPY? What the fuck you doin?" My Dad yells so loud I can hear him. I tense thinking he heard me, and taking note that I need to learn how to be quiet.

"What do ya mean?" Happy asks his voice rough.

"I'm talking to you, and you're not answerin me. Turn that fuckin music down, it sounds like people fuckin." My Dad orders,

"It's Mac, I don't know how to turn her down." Hap says with a smirk. My mouth drops open and I shake my head at him, but he nods back.

"Mac? I should have figured as much when I heard the loud music." my Dad says back completely clueless that he just heard Happy fuck me, and that Happy just basically told him we were. As I realize that 'More Human Than Human' by White Zombie is playing. Which thankfully is near the beginning, so the moaning on the track must have masked my moans.

"Yeah Mac." Hap says back, still smirking and looking at me

"How's she doin this morning? She seem better?" My dad asks

He licks his lips, and unleashes a very sexy grin. "Oh she's really good, better than I remember. But I think she's worn out." My breathing speeds up, even though this time I'm aware that my father is on the phone with him.

"What do you think your doin?" I mouth at him.

Happy smirks, and thusts his hips at me. _Whatever the fuck I want_. He seems to be saying with his body as I arch my back.

I narrow my eyes and flip us over, so he's on his back and I'm straddling him. Happy's eyes have a mischievously naughty anticipation shining in them. As I smirk and look down at him.

"Well tell Mac she can stay home today if she wants. The garage shit can wait." My dad's voice breaks my sexy stare down with Hap. I shake my head, lift my self off Happy completely, and stand up slowly.

"I'll see if she-." He stops with a loud groan, as I slip and fall on top of him.

"Shit, sorry Hap!" I apologize quickly. "Are you ok?"

"What the fuck happened?" my dad shouts

I'm pretty sure my eyes are as wide as saucers. "Uh... Hey Dad. I just fell on Happy." I say unsure of what the fuck to do, as I'm splayed across his chest, and not wanting to move because I might slip on whatever the fuck I slipped on before.

"You tryin to kill me today?" Happy asks.

I lift my head and look at him, but he doesn't look like he's in pain, he looks amused and turned on. "No the first time you snuck up on me so that's your fault." I say with a little fake glare.

He raises his eyebrows but is still amused, "And this time?"

I look around to see what I slipped on, and laugh. "Your fault too." I say and look at him with a devilish smirk, "If you hadn't been in such a hurry to eat, I wouldn't have dropped and broken all the eggs."

Hap lifts his head and looks at the mess of broken shells and egg yoke, then looks at me laying partially on top of him. "Worth it." He says with a smirk.

"Are you ok, Princess?" my Dad asks, breaking the moment. And Happy puts the phone on speaker.

"Yeah, but now I gotta shower all this egg off me. Shit I'm gonna get it all over the fuckin house."

"Have Happy carry you up stairs." He says.

I raise my eyebrows at the phone, surprised at my overprotective Dad telling me to have a man carry me up to the shower. "Umm…?" I say baffled

"Hap can you carry her to the shower?" My dad asks, like it's an every day occurrence. I shiver wishing Hap could carry me anywhere he wanted, everyday.

Happy smirks at me. "Done."

"Princess, you comin into TM or not?" My dad asks

I bite my lip, "Umm…yeah."

My dad sighs, "If you're worn out then don't worry about it."

Happy chuckles and I smack him in the chest, shutting him up. "No I'm good, we'll be in soon."

"Why is Happy there anyway?" my Dad asks, finally realizing that he shouldn't be at my house.

"I don't really-." I start but Hap cuts me off.

"Mac fell asleep while I was driving last night. My bike's at the garage, and there was no point in me taking her car, so I just decided to sleep in the spare room and ride in with her today." He explains

"If she's tired, then someone can come get you and Mac can stay home. But we got a few things to handle." My dad says accepting Happy's explanation. I roll over and lay on my back, next to Happy, relieved.

"No, I'll be in. I'm sure the paper work is fuckin insane." I say with a sigh.

"Ok Princess. Hap, as soon you take her upstairs I need you to call me back on the prepaid." My dad says and hangs up.

Happy frowns as he closes his phone.

"Are you ok? I fell on you pretty hard." I say rubbing his stomach.

He shakes his head, grabs my hand and lifts me up by it as he stands. I slip again but he puts my arm around his neck, and picks me up bridal style.

"Seriously, don't be all tough, did I hurt you?" I ask worried

"I'm fine." He says as he heads up the stairs.

I pull his head down to look at me. "I'm not exactly light weight, it had to have hurt."

Hap scoffs at me. "You weigh what? A buck twenty?" he asks

I scoff back at him, offended. "More like a buck forty. I'm not one of those scrawny bitches!"

He looks at my body and smirks. "No, your not."

I shiver, "So are you hurt? Be honest."

He shakes his head. "Not from you fallin on me. But damn." He says rubbing at his rib, where I punched him earlier, with a smile.

I push my body into his, like a shove and laugh. "So what was with the frown?" I ask as he walks into my room.

"No time to play in the shower." He says with a frown. As soon as he steps into the bathroom he shakes his head. "You're such a girl." He says looking at the plum walls with white flowers.

"You thought I was a guy?" I ask, attempting to be serious and offended, and then laughing when he looks down and scowls at me. "What's wrong with my bathroom?" I ask once my laughing fit subsides.

"Nothin, I just don't know what to expect out of you." He says studying my face.

I cock my head and study him back. "Same here."

We stand there, in the middle of my bathroom both naked, with him holding me, staring at one another, for who knows how long. I jump as a cell phone rings.

"Shit." Happy say as he starts walking out of the bathroom.

I clear my throat. "Umm shouldn't you put me down first?"

Hap looks down and seems surprised that he's still holding me, before putting me down slowly. "Shower, then we should get goin." He says before kissing me lightly on the lips and smacking me on the ass. I cock my head as I watch his naked ass walk out of my room, admiring the view.

**-BIA-**

After showering and nearly falling on my ass twice, thanks to the egg yoke. I step into my bedroom while scrubbing a towel in my wet hair. I see Happy sitting on my bed and smile, but frown when I see he's dressed and looks serious.

"Everything ok?" I ask and stop drying my hair.

"It will be."

I nod at him, while throwing my towel on the bed next to him, "Ok." I say, and then drop the towel that's wrapped around my body, and head to my bra and panties drawer.

As I grab a green bra and matching panties, I feel Happy's hand on my hip, before he leans into me a little bit. "Whatever you do, stay away from the Hairy Dog." He says lowly in my ear.

I turn around to face him and put my arm around his shoulders, while his hand slides across my hip with my movement. "Like I'd ever go to that shit hole anyway." I say looking up at him.

Happy narrows his eyes, leans his body farther into mine, and grabs my hair, tipping my head back. "Don't be a smart ass." he growls. Hap then puts his face close to mine, releases my hair and cups the side of my neck. "Make sure you don't." he says his voice rough and quiet, as he rubs my cheek with his thumb and squeezes my hip.

I nod, incapable of speech, as my body loves this protective bossy attitude of his. My nipples are tight and tingling at the memory of his attention earlier; while my whole body is eager for even a sliver of what I know he's capable of.

He looks deep in my eyes. "Good." He says before kissing me. I moan the second our tongues touch. Happy picks me up, and then sits me down as I wrap my legs around his waist. I shamelessly grinding on him, surprised at how desperate I am, considering he just fucked me twice and ate me out. I tare his belt open and he pulls back.

Hap shakes his head. "We don't have time." he says breathing heavy

I nod, but pout. "A'ight." I say. I try to scoot off my vanity-dresser combination but he doesn't move out of the way. "If w-."

I don't get any farther as Happy kisses me again, while circling my nipple with his thumb. I arch my back, and drop my bra and panties from my hand as I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Hap grabs a fist full of my damp hair, and pulls my head to the side, and he nibbles down my throat. Happy kisses licks and nibbles across my collar bones, and down to my nipples. Mid bite he growls, before shoving his whole body away from mine, leaving me a quivering, and panting, desperately horny mess.

Happy stands in front of me, while running a hand over his bald head, and watching me. "We gotta go." He says his voice rough.

I nod, "'Kay." I say softly. I watch Happy as his eyes keep wandering all over my body. He keeps stopping himself, then looking at my face. But finally he just gives in and slowly runs his eyes from my face to my toes, licking his lips.

I shiver and his head snaps up. "Shit, you must be cold." He says and steps in closer to me. I shake my head as he bends down, picks something up and studies it, while crouching down.

Hap looks up at me and smirks. "You gonna be wearin these today?"

"What?" I ask not paying attention to anything but his lips. I shake my head, and realize what he said. "I was planning to." I say and cock my head at him

Happy looks at, what I notice are my bra and panties, then smirks. "You keep droppin your panties for me." He says his eyes meeting mine.

I smirk back, "Well they keep getting wet because of you."

His eyes flash, but he quickly shakes his head. "We can't right now." He growls, and then bites the inside of my thigh above my knee. I moan, and he runs his tongue over his bite, before standing up, and handing me my bra and panties. Happy then picks me up off the top of my vanity-dresser, and stands me in front of him, as he rubs his hands up my sides.

"So fuckin soft." He mumbles, as his calloused hands caress my ribs.

I smile at him, and try to distract myself since I know we gotta leave. "Oh that reminds me." I say and Happy looks up from his hands on my skin.

"What?"

"You still up for tattooing me?" I ask hoping he hasn't changed his mind

Hap pulls my body into his. "Fuck yes." He says roughly. _Ok, clearly the wrong subject to bring up to avoid being turned on even more._ "But we can't do it today, I got club stuff." He continues and steps back a little bit, but keeps his hands on me.

I smile at him. "I know. You haven't even seen what I want."

He shrugs. "Doesn't matter. You show me or explain what you want, and I'll do it." Hap says the double meaning clear.

I take a deep breath and step back but he continues touching me. "We really gotta leave?" I ask sadly

Hap nods. "Yeah, get dressed." He says

I nod, and step into my panties while he's still holding my hip. Happy growls as I pull them up and squeezes my hip. "I'll be downstairs." He says roughly, with a final squeeze he walks out of the room fast.

I smile as I put my bra on, then step to my closet and pull on a pair of white skinny jeans. Then I pull a green shirt over my head, that has spaghetti straps, but sleeves right after my shoulder, the shirt has a white belt that settles over my hips. I brush my hair and leave it down, before I slide on a pair of white pumps with an open toe, grab my purse and head down the stairs.

I see Happy standing in the kitchen staring down at the counter, I'm not sure what he's looking at or seeing, but he's completely focused on it. I shrug and go to the surround sound and shut the music off, before putting my Ipod in my purse, and walking over to Hap.

"What's up Buttercup?" I ask when I walk up to him.

Happy raises his eyebrows. "Buttercup?" he questions still looking at the counter.

I wave my hand, "Just an expression. What are…?" I trail off as I realize he's staring at my blue bra and panties, or I should say what use to be my bra and panties. "You ripped them!" I say surprised and pick up the scraps of lace

He looks up at me. "I'll buy you more." He says seriously, probably misinterpreting my tone.

I shake my head. "No, you don't have to, it's fine. I knew you ripped them, but I thought it was like a little tare." I look at the lace and then back up at him. "These are practically shredded." I say my voice all breathy

Hap smirks, "They were in my way."

I raise my eyebrow and hold up the ripped panties. "Seriously? 'Cause it looks like they got mauled by a bear or a tiger." I say swinging what use to be one piece of lace all attached to each other, but is now three pieces, barely hanging together by a thread.

"You seemed to like bein mauled." He says his voice very raspy as he steps closer to me.

"I did." I say pulling him closer by his cut. "You like mauling me?" I ask and he nods, licking his lips, I smirk at him. "Would you like me to maul you?" I ask my voice a purr, as a phone rings.

Hap groans and pulls his phone out of his pocket, then frowns. "It's not mine." He says looking at me.

I frown too, release his cut and pull my phone out of my purse. "Yeah?" I answer

"Hello to you too Babygirl." Gemma says

"Hey Gem, what's up?" I ask running a hand through my hair.

She sighs, "I'm waiting on you to get here."

I frown, "Hold on a sec." I say to Gemma, then pull the phone from my ear and talk to Happy. "You ready to go?"

Hap nods and walks to the door, my car keys in his hand. I shake my head and follow him. "Ok Gem, we're leavin now, so I'll see ya in a few."

"Ok, I wanna talk to you when you get here." She says

"Sure thing." I say getting in the passenger seat. "See ya soon, bye." I say and hang up, while watching Hap walk to the car.

Once Happy's situated in the driver's seat, he doesn't start the car, but turns and stares at me, before kissing me. As he twists his tongue with mine, my whole body is screaming at me to jump into his lap, and just as I'm about to listen, he pulls back. Hap rubs my bottom lip with his thumb and furrows his brows in thought before nodding. "Later" he says roughly, sits back and starts the car.

I stare at him wondering how he can be so relaxed, when my body is trying to overrule my brain and jump in his lap, tare his pants off and fuck him until I can't move. I'm grateful that he has this skill, because that means if some shit goes down when Hap and the guys are out on a run or something then he can calmly and smartly handle it. That's when I realize that he was calm and cool earlier, while his dick was inside me and my Dad was on the phone with him. And then we fucked, while my Dad was stilling trying to talk to Hap. I groan and start messing with my hair as I worry my bottom lip.

"What's wrong?" Happy asks glancing at me as he drives.

"We fucked while you were on the phone." I say turning my body towards his.

He shrugs, "Yeah." Then he frowns. "Are you ok?"

I shake my head. "No I'm not ok. We fucked while you were talking to my Dad. He fucking heard us, he heard _me_."

"Actually he was talkin, I was a little busy." Hap says with a smirk

I smirk back. "Just a little busy?"

Happy growls "Don't start that shit now, save it for later."

"Later?" I question getting excited. "What's happening later?"

Hap glances at me again, with a smirk. "Me fuckin you until you forget everything except my name." he says roughly while gripping the steering wheel tightly.

I shiver, put my hand on top of his on the wheel, and rub until he loosens his grip. "She doesn't like that." I say referring to the car.

Happy flips his hand over while grabbing mine, and placing it over his hard dick. "You like that?"

"Fuckin love it." I say rubbing him through his jeans. I considering blowing him while he drives. It'd be fun but not a safe idea since he'd probably wreck the car. Then there's the little fact that we're riding around Charming, and people would definitely see. Just as I make up my mind.

"Strawberry you can't keep doin that." Hap says grabbing my wrist to stop me from rubbing him.

I frown. "Why not? It's gotta be uncomfortable."

He shakes his head, "I'll take care of it in a few."

I cock my head at him. "Are you telling me that you're gonna…?" I trail off not wanting to say anything about him and slutty crow eaters.

"Jerk off in the shower, yeah." He says, completely truthful

I smile and squeeze my thighs together. "Can I watch?" I bite my lip realizing I said that out loud, but not really caring.

Hap snaps his head over to look at me. "What'd you say?" he asks his voice a little strangled, before focusing back on the road.

"I..." I clear my throat. "I said can I watch?"

I see him raise his eyebrows. "What do you wanna watch?" he asks confused

I lick my lips, "I wanna watch you jerk off." I say my voice all throaty.

Happy flexes his hands on the wheel. "Would..." He coughs to clear his throat. "Would you let me watch you finger yourself?" he grates out.

I whimper and squeeze my thighs together harder. Happy puts his hand on my leg, wedges his fingers between my clenched thighs, and moves them up until they're against my pussy. "Would you?" he growls massaging me a little bit through my jeans.

I grind into his hand. "Yes." I breathe out

"Why couldn't you be wearin a fuckin skirt today?" He mumbles rubbing me a bit harder.

"If you don't stop I'm gonna cum." I say, but not wanting him to stop. "You wanna watch me finger myself?"

Happy growls, low and sexy in his throat. "Yeah. I wanna watch you spread these sexy legs for me." He grounds out rubbing me hard. "Then I want you to thrust these pretty fingers of yours into that little tasty pussy of yours. And I'm gonna watch the whole time you fuck yourself." The extra rasp, and deepness of his voice plus him talking dirty to me, makes my whole body shake as yet another orgasm wraps around me.

"Happy!" I moan while grinding myself down onto his hand to make it last longer. "Fuck!" I say as the last waves subside.

Happy removes his hand slowly, and I whimper. "Relax, baby." He says with a hoarse chuckle

"How do you do that?" I ask while looking at him with my head on the headrest.

"Do what?" he asks adjusting himself through his pants.

"Make me forget where I am, or who's around."

I see him raise his eyebrows in surprise while watching the road, before furrowing them in thought.

I shift in my seat, wishing I hadn't admitted that, and whimper.

Hap snaps his head over at me. "Are you ok?" he asks and looks at my hips.

"Fine." I say thinking how stupid that was, and look out the window.

I feel his hand on my knee. "I hurt you?" he asks quietly

I snap my head to look at him. "No, you didn't." I say truthfully.

"You sure?" he asks glancing at me as he pulls into the TM lot.

I put my hand on top of his and squeeze. "You didn't hurt me. Am I sore? Yes, but it's a good kind of sore that I'd gladly take any day." I say with a smirk as he parks and shuts the car off.

Hap turns to me and searches my face before nodding. "If it's ever too hard you can tell me."

I smirk at him. "Shouldn't you already know it's hard?" I say and glance down at his denim cover dick licking my lips.

Hap coughs and I look up at him. He smirks and looks my body over before looking in my eyes. "Later." he growls

I nod, "You can fuckin count on it." I say with a smirk

Happy adjusts himself before opening the door, but I put a hand on his arm to stop him from getting out. Hap turns to face me, "What?"

I bite my lip, "Do me a favor?"

"What is it?" he asks with narrowed eyes, one foot already on the pavement

I lick my lips, "While you're in the shower, and have your hand wrapped around your dick, think about this." I lean in closer to him. "I was about to suck your cock on the way over." I whisper with a grin

"You wouldn't have." He whispers back disbelieving

I cock an eyebrow, "I couldn't wait, I wanted your cock in my mouth so bad and my hand on your balls. God, to have your hands in my hair while I give you head." I say wistfully. I meet Hap's eyes, seeing the desire and pure hunger there, I lick my lips. "But you know the worst part? My tongue was begging to taste your cum, but you wouldn't let me." I say and pout, before swinging me door open and stepping out.

I hear a growled "Fuck!" behind me and turn around to see Happy climb out and slam the door, shaking the whole car. Then walking away fast and aggressively

"Oh Hap?" I yell to him

He turns around and walks backwards toward the clubhouse, as I go toward the office. "Yeah?" he growl yells

I smirk at him. "Thanks for cleanin up the eggs!" he narrows his eyes at me and I laugh. "Later then?" I yell

"Bet your ass later!" he shouts before turn back around and going into the clubhouse

I smirk at his back, and walk to the office with an extra swing in my hips, never looking more forward to later in my life.

**A/N- So Mac and Happy can't seem to control themselves around each other. That's based on the fact that I know, I wouldn't give a shit who was around if David Labrava (Happy) was around because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing or saying something to him that people would deem inappropriate. **

**So I hope everyone enjoyed that, Let me Know!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N- I'm sorry for the long wait! or as my nephew likes to say, "Sard", although usually it's "Sard, Aunt Ang." haha cute little shit!**

** So anyway i know you probably don't wanna hear excuses but my vacation wasn't much of one. I got bad sunburn and was totally drained of energy, (I'm convinced my 2 year old nephew sucks its outta me or something.) so i didn't get a chance to write while i was gone.**

**Then when i came back, i had a bunch of shit to get done for his birthday party, and i miscalculated my free time! i was pissed too since i had wrote a tiny bit, then i had all this stuff to do and got thrown back outta Mac's head.**

**The good stuff that came from my vacation is that i got plenty of time to think of ideas during my long ass time in the car. So hopefully everyone enjoys the fact that i'm back.**

**I gotta shout out Lauren (Bad Company) who as usual puts up with my horse shit, but also got me back on track when i was a bit lost!**

**I wanna send a special shout out to Kate (Cariad46) for sending me links to some DL videos, which made my fuckin day! i put a little tiny teaser shout out to you in the chap, see if you can find it!**

**Just a reminder that anything i write has a reason behind it, so don't hate me or give up on this story, if you don't like something or whatever!**

**Links for pictures are on my profile... check 'em out!  
**

**I own nothing you recognize... I FUCKIN WISH THOUGH!**

***~*Chapter 14*~***

As I walk to my office I'm lost in my head, wondering what Happy plans on doing to me later, I feel an arm drape across my shoulders and jump.

"Hey Mac, What's up?" Juice asks as he squeezes my shoulders.

"Nothin'." I say as I sling my arm around his waist as we walk towards the garage.

Juice looks over our shoulders at the clubhouse. "So what's later with Hap?"

I smirk, _lots and lots of sexy time_. I shake my head knowing I can't say that to Juice, and then smile as an idea hits me. "Happy's gonna tattoo me, but we gotta work on the design." I say, being truthful and not faking my excitement, as we step into the garage.

"What design?" Tig asks as he stands with my Dad, Chibs, Bobby, and Kip. My Dad narrows his eyes at me and Juice, with our arms around each other.

I roll my eyes and ignore it. "Happy said he'd tattoo me." I say with a big smile

My Dad ignores that and stays glaring at Juice, Chibs' eyebrows go up into his hairline, as Tig looks around behind me, Bobby looks over a car and Kip looks confused.

"Where is that asshole anyway, isn't he supposed to be with you?" Tig asks me a bit angrily

I raise my eyebrows as my smile seems to want to crack my face at his mention of Hap supposing to be with me. "He went to shower and change. I thought that was your boy, why so angry Tigger?"

Tig lights a cigarette, "Fucker hung up on me." He mumbles on an exhale

I stare and then laugh at him, knowing what Happy hung up on him for. And he sounds like a wounded teenage girl.

"So? He hung up on me too." Juice says. "And he told me to fuck off. Maybe he was just hungry?"

I feel a little awkward, realizing that Hap was talking to three of the five guys on the phone this morning while he was fucking me. But I can't hold back my smirk at Juice's comment about Hap being hungry. I see Chibs watching me and look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"So darlin' yer getting tattooed? What ya gettin done?" Chibs questions, his eyes sharp.

"We still gotta go over the details but I know what I want." I say still looking at him, and then realize that he thinks Hap's tatting me as his. "You know how I've always wanted a Son to tattoo me for my tribute to the club, well Hap agreed to help me out." I clarify for him

Chibs nods, "Aye, Happy's good." He says relieved, and I cock my head at him.

"Yeah he is. I wish I had him do my lightening bolts too." Juice says running a hand over his head

"Hap can tattoo big fuckin deal." Tig says

"You two gonna fight again? 'Cause I missed the one the other night." Kip says excited

I tune out the guys as reality sets in and I realize what a huge idiot I am. Hap left me; no word, no nothing. He played me like he gave a shit, then shows up here acting like a douche to me. Then he gets all possessive and picks a fight with Tig because of me. Then he calls me a whore because Koz pulled me away from him.

Then I just had to go and fuck him in my kitchen. Oh god, while Juice was on the phone I had Hap get on the floor and I rode him. Then Tig called while I was still on top of him. Jesus Christ… I fucked him while my Dad was on the phone; he fucking heard me moaning and shit.

_FUCKING MORON!_ I shout at myself in my head.

"Oh my god." I mumble as I rub my forehead, and let go of Juice

"What's wrong, Princess?" my Dad asks and puts his hand on my shoulder

I jump back, completely disgusted and disappointed with my self. I look down at my shoes, "Paper works gonna be a bitch." I mumble, before walking to the office and shutting my self inside.

As soon as the doors shut, I start pacing in tight circles in the limited space, while running my hands through my hair.

"Jesus, I'm so fuckin dumb. And a fuckin whore too, so I guess I should give him a fuckin gold star or some shit. What's the right thing to give someone who keeps fucking with your head and making you do shit you'd never even consider doing?" I ask myself.

"Shit, I promised I wouldn't get involved with a Son and put strain on the club, yet here comes Hap and Tig gets all creepy- flirty Tiggish, and bam a fucking fight in the ring because of me." I say shaking my head.

"Why does he keep doing this? Makes me think he cares, then up and turns into a total asshole, then acts like I'm his or some shit. Why me? Why does he have to fuck with my head so much?"

I hear a knock on the door, "What?" I yell continuing my pacing

The door opens; I glace over and see Gemma walk in with raised eyebrows. "You're alone?"

I look around, "Obviously." I say pacing faster and waving my hand around the room.

"Wanna talk about it, to someone other than yourself?" she asks.

"No." I say shaking my head. As I turn to circle back and pace more, I almost run into Gemma, but stop just in time. I cock my eyebrow at her.

She sighs, "Ok Miss Attitude, and one word answers. You wanna get your mind off it?"

I shrug, "Sure."

Gemma shakes her head, "I'm supposed to be going over these Blue Bird numbers, but I can't make sense of all this shit." She says waving the papers that I just noticed in her hand.

I cock my head, "Ok…?"

"You've always been good at numbers and shit. So you wanna help me out and take a look?" She asks exasperated

I keep my head cocked at her. "That's club business, what about Bobby looking them over? He is the treasurer."

"The guys are all busy, so Clay asked me to have a look. But said to have you help out, if I needed it."

I sigh, "I'll look them over." I say holding my hand out.

Gemma puts the papers into my hand, I look down at them and my brain starts registering all the numbers. I go to turn the page when I realize that Gemma hasn't let go of the papers. I raise my head, and try to meet her eyes, but she's looking behind me with surprise on her face. I glance over my shoulder at the door, and contemplate stabbing myself in the leg with a pen.

My whole body starts melting and warming at the sight of Happy. He's leaning against the door frame, shoulder to the wood, arms crossed at his chest, with his leg over the other and the toe of his boot flat against the ground. He's openly staring at my body, the lust clear in his eyes with a slight curl of a smile on his lips.

My breathing starts to speed up, as I imagine him picking me up and fucking me senseless on top of my desk. I shiver and press my thighs together, which just gives me some friction and I hold back a whimper, hoping for something like this morning. _Oh god, this morning. No …Focus on not being a horny pathetic bitch._

I shake my head, and turn around to face him fully. "What?" I spit, disgusted that I'm mad at him, yet my body doesn't give a shit and still craves his touch.

Hap's head snaps up and he meets my eyes with furrowed brows. I raise my eyebrow, cross my arms over my chest and stare back at him. Happy cocks his head, and then narrows his eyes at me.

I hear a throat clear behind me but pay no attention. "Well I'll leave you two alone." Gemma says, moving to walk around me but I put my arm out.

I shake my head, while still staring at Happy. "Nah, you stay I gotta go."

"What about the Blue Bird numbers?" Gemma asks me.

I tilt my head, "Leave 'em on my desk." I say walking up to the door, and angling my body so I don't touch Happy, then leaving the office behind me.

As soon as I hit the pavement I start walking fast, trying to burn the sexual and angry energy out of my system. I know that I'm not leaving the lot, Going to the clubhouse and cracking open a bottle of liquor, is out of the question too since I have a bunch of stuff to get done today. What I really want to do is turn around find Happy, rip his clothes off and have my way with him. I shake my head, and wonder how bad it would hurt to punch the picnic table in front of me.

"Motherfucker!" I hiss, and kick the bench on the picnic table instead.

"What's your problem?" I hear Happy's raspy voice ask me.

I whirl around to find him, standing four feet from me, looking curious. "Like you give a fuck!" I spit at him

Hap cocks his head, and steps closer. "What's your problem?" he asks again.

Without thinking my body steps closer to meet him, so we're standing maybe a foot apart. "You really wanna know what my problem is?" I ask him softy, and he nods. "_You're_ my fuckin problem." I say calmly with venom in my voice.

Happy raises his eyebrows. "The fuck I do?" he asks curiously, seemingly unaffected by my words or tone.

I raise my eyebrows back. "The fuck did you do? Seriously? Like you don't fuckin know!"

"I just got out of the fuckin shower, and came to the office for paperwork. And you're bein weird as shit." He says anger laced in his tone.

"I'm being weird as shit?" I ask incredulously and give a humorless little laugh. "You're such a fuckin hypocrite."

Hap steps even closer and leans down into my face. "No. I'm not." He growls.

I lean right back into his face. "Yes, _the fuck_, you are." I growl back.

Happy narrows his eyes, "Enlighten me, _Princess_." He sneers

I narrow my eyes back. "No problem, _Killa_." I sneer back. "You're full of fuckin shit. You-."

"Yo Hap, you ready to roll?" My Dad yells cutting me off.

Happy and I continue to glare at each other, unmoving, as My Dad, Opie, Tig and Bobby walk over.

"What's goin on Princess?" My Dad asks when they reach us.

Hap smirks cockily, and I shove my shoulder into Happy's as I walk past him. "Asshole." I mumble, "Nothin, gotta head back to work." I say walking away.

"Hey!" my Dad yells. I turn around to face him, while walking backwards. "We're heading out, and I'm not sure when we'll be back."

I shrug, "So?"

My Dad raises his eyebrows, "So Jax, Juice, Chibs and the Prospect will be leaving soon too."

I shrug again, "Whatever." I say then turn around and walk faster.

As soon as I reach the office, I slam the door, sit at my desk and bury myself in paperwork.

**-BIA-**

A few hours later, going through all the numbers and paperwork has helped to push my anger aside, although it's still simmering. The guys have been in and out of the lot all day, although I haven't seen Happy since our little exchange. I'm pleased that I don't have to deal with his bullshit, yet it makes me sad, and disappointed that I haven't seen his sexy ass.

I can feel my anger start to swell; it's been in the back of my head, coiled like a snake about to strike. But at my musings of Hap's sexiness and being upset that I haven't seen him, I can feel the tail of the rattlesnake shake, a pre warning of attack and danger.

I shake my head at myself. _Don't stew on this, just focus on work and block everything else out._ I nod, but know that no matter what, this shit with Hap keeps popping into the forefront of my mind. I keep remembering the look in his eyes this morning, his hands on my body, his lips on mine. It makes me even madder, knowing that he's just playing with me, yet I still have such desire for him.

I rub my forehead, and pull my hair up into a messy bun, that I'm sure has pieces of hair sticking up in several directions. I take a few deep breaths and blink my eyes a couple times, to ready myself for the overload of work shit that's about to enter my brain. Just as I pick up an invoice, the phone rings.

"Teller-Morrow Automotive, this is Mac speaking. How may I help you?" I answer, not being overly sweet, just polite.

"You don't sound like a Mac." I hear this every time I answer the phone, and I've gotten use to it. Usually it's some guy thinking he can pick me up over the phone. This time however, it's a feminine voice, soft and sweetened with age.

I smile; glad I don't have to deal with some skeezy douche bag. "Well technically it Mackenzi, but everyone calls me Mac."

"A pretty name to match a pretty woman, no doubt. I bet the guys enjoy you working there." She says, non judgmental or accusatory, just an observation laced with knowledge.

I laugh, thinking of how much hell I give these guys, when everyone would assume I'm just eye candy for them. "Some would like a replacement, I'm sure." I say still laughing a little.

"Ah, so you don't just take their shit. You give it right back to them, don't you?" she asks, something akin to pride in her voice. It sounds odd for such a sweet motherly or maybe even grandmotherly voice to say shit.

I smirk, "Of course! Where's the fun in rolling over and playing stepford office manager? Someone's gotta keep these boys in line."

She laughs, a soft and quiet sound full of amusement. "I like you, you're a little firecracker. Maybe you can help me track down my son?"

I nod, "Sure. Does he have a car or something that came through here? I'm not supposed to give out their information, but I'll try to help." I say, curious as to how I could help this older lady out, who I find myself liking more and more.

"No, he doesn't Sweetheart. He's supposed to be _working_ there." The way she says 'working' Clues me in that it must be a Son, that's her son.

"Oh, Ok. Who are you looking for?" I ask. I figure its Kip, since I know it's not any of the other guy's moms, but thought I'd ask anyway.

"I'm looking for Happy."

I blink, confused and put the phone to my other ear thinking I heard her wrong. "Who?" I ask, thinking I heard her say Hap because he's taken up residence in my head.

"Happy. You know, tall, covered in tattoos." She says

"Happy?" I ask confused

"Yes." She says, sounding a little worried.

My mind is a whirlwind of questions. It didn't even occur to me that it could be Hap's mom on the phone. Hap has a mom? I mean I know he obvious has a mom, everyone has a mom. And Koz mentioned something about her. But it's hard to see a guy like Happy and think he has a mom. Let alone a mom that sounds like a sweet little old lady. It's almost like he's so powerful a person that he just dropped from the sky, or as some might see him, raised from hell.

"Is he ok?" she asks after a few minutes of me not saying anything.

"You're Happy's mom?" I ask, totally stupefied. "Like you gave birth to him?"

"Yes. Are you alright? Where's Happy?" she asks almost panicked.

I shake my head. "What? Oh, Hap's out right now, but I'm sure he's fine." I assure her, still a bit dazed. "I'm talking to Happy's mom?" I think, but ask out loud, disbelieving.

"You ok?" she asks worried.

"I'm fine; I just can't believe you're Hap's mom." I say taking a drink of my water.

I hear her sigh, "Why not?" she asks relieved. "Koz gave me this number and said I could reach Happy here. So you could call and ask him to make sure."

"I don't think that would go over well." I mumble and tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear that escaped my bun. "Why do you call him Happy?"

"That's what he prefers. I'm Rose, by the way."

"Hi Rose. I'm not sure when Hap will be back, but I can tell him to call you. He has the number right?" I ask while holding a pen over a post it, just in case.

"Yes he does. Do you have his cell phone number? He changed it when he moved, and hasn't given it to me yet." Rose says

"I don't even know his number." I say to myself while shaking my head. "If there's a message you want me to get to him, that's not a problem. I mean I'll tell him to call you, but I'm not sure how busy he is. Or what's going on with everything." I ramble, ignoring the fact that he never gave me a way to get a hold of him.

"I don't want to bug him. Just tell him that I started chemo." Rose says

"I'm sure you aren't bugging him. Chemo?" I ask when it registers. "Sorry I didn't mean to ask that." I say as I shake my head.

"Yes chemo and its fine Mac." Rose says waving it off. "Are you sure Happy's ok?"

"I haven't spoken to him since before he left this afternoon. But Tig and my Dad are with him, along with a couple other guys so I'm sure they're all fine."

"Tig? Koz said he's an asshole." She says

I laugh. "Oh he absolutely is an asshole. But deep down, somewhere in there, maybe _way_ deep down Tig's a good guy."

Rose laughs, "I get what you mean. People assume that Happy is a bad guy, but he's a good man."

I bite my lip; I agree with her but hold back unsure. I know Hap's a good man, but I don't get why the hot and cold, back and forth between the two of us. "It's the same with most of the Son's. People think they're thugs and punks, but they look out for family, and that's what matters. At least in my book." I say.

"You're right, it is what matters. Who's your Dad, Sweetheart?" Rose asks

"Clay's my Dad."

"Well no wonder you put those boys in their place. You must be one tough girl, being the daughter of the mother charter's President." She says

I smile, "I can handle myself." I say feeling comfortable chatting with Rose.

She laughs, "You sound just like my son. Anytime I tell him to be careful, he always says he can take care of himself."

I sigh, "Exactly, been there done that."

"You told him to be careful?" Rose asks confused.

"Well yeah. I look out for all the guys. I haven't known Hap long, but he helped me out a couple times."_ And fucked me a couple times._ I shake my head; _don't think that shit while talking to his mother. What the fuck?_

"So you get along with him?" she asks

I worry my lip with my teeth. "Well… sometimes we do, sometimes we don't."

Rose laughs, "He can be difficult. Don't let him scare you though."

I scoff, "He doesn't scare me." I say honestly. At least not in the traditional scary way. He scares me, since he actually makes me want to let him in, and makes me want him more than anything else.

"Good. So when he starts being rude or grumpy, give it back to him and don't back down. Just don't give him too hard of a time though." Rose says

I laugh, "Oh I have and I'll keep it up. But I make no promises to take it easy on him."

I hear a knock and look at the door, but frown when no one's there.

"Rose, Dinners in a few minutes." I hear some woman say.

Rose sighs, "Thanks, I'll be out in a minute." She says to the lady. "Mac I should let you get back to work."

"Isn't it a bit early for dinner?" I ask

"It's quarter to five, so not early by old people standards." Rose says with a smile in her voice.

"Quarter to five? That can't be right." I glance at the clock and sure enough that's the time. "Shit, I didn't even eat lunch."

Rose tsk, tsk, tsks at me. "Sweetheart, you gotta eat. Do I need to talk to those guys and make sure that they give you a break so you can eat?" She asks her voice full of motherly authority.

I smirk, fully liking Rose, and wishing we could bake a cake or something together, which is a favorite pass time or stress reliever for me. "It's all my fault actually. I was burying myself in work, since I've been out of the office for a few days."

"Ok, but you make sure to eat something good for dinner then."

I nod, "I will."

"Good, now I better let you go before the orderlies have a field day that I'm not with everyone else, and lined up for food." Rose says with a laugh.

I smile, "Ok Rose, have a good night. And I'll tell Hap to give you a call."

"Thanks Mac. But tell him don't worry; there's no emergency or anything. I just started chemo and wanted to let him know." She assures me.

"I will, but if you need anything feel free to call this number. I'm usually here every day we're open, which is everyday except Sundays." I offer, hoping she'll take me up on it.

"I don't want to worry you with anything." Rose says.

Gemma walks through the door at that moment. "Hey Babygirl, You wanna get dinner?" she asks.

I hold up my hand for her to wait a minute, and she nods. "It's no trouble, honestly. You need anything, even just wanna chat, feel free to call." I tell Rose

"That's very sweet of you. I'll let you go get some food, bye Mac."

"It's no problem. Bye Rose." I say and I hear her hang up. As I put the phone on the cradle I turn to Gemma.

"Sure, I'm starving." I tell her

"Who's Rose?" She asks.

I bite my lip, and look out the door before looking back at her. "Hap's mom."

Gemma raises her eyebrows. "Hap's mom? Why were you talking to her?" she asks curiously

"She called here lookin for him, and we just got chatting. She seemed kinda lonely." I say with a frown. My frown deepens as I realize she must be in a nursing home of some kind, and she's going through chemo so she has some type of cancer.

"Clay told me that, Happy's here because he was gonna go nomad to be closer to his mom. But he didn't want Hap to be on his own out there while dealin with her being sick, so he suggested him joining SAMCRO. I'm not sure what's wrong with his mom, but I know she's in a home about an hour or so from here." Gemma says

I nod, "She seems so nice. She'll pull through, she's gotta be tough to be Hap's mom." I say feeling shitty.

I have my reasons to be mad at Happy, but maybe I should take it easier on him. He's going through a lot, what with his mom being sick, and transferring charters. I mean so what that he knows these guys well and everything, but it's gotta be hard to just up and change your location.

In an MC your charter is your family, and is number one. But for Hap to be willing to pull away from his MC family, to be there for his mom makes me want to cry. He stepped back from His brothers who he'd take a bullet for, and put bullets in people for, so he could see his mom. That's like the sweetest, most loving thing he could do. _Maybe he's not such an asshole after all? He obviously is an asshole, but maybe just not that big of one?_

Gemma snaps her fingers in my face. "Hello? Earth to Mac?"

I shake my head. "Right… What?"

"What do you want to eat?" she asks, her tone making it known that it's not the first time she's asked.

I shrug, "I don't care." I say preoccupied

Gemma looks at me curiously and cocks her head. "What are you thinking about?"

I shake my head. "Is Hap back yet?"

Gem shakes her head, "All the guys are still out." She says curiosity still in her eyes. "What, you hooked on Hap's dick?"

"Pizza sounds good." I say ignoring her question.

She raises her eyebrows and smirks, "That good, huh?"

I shake my head. "Not talking about it. So you calling to order or you want me to?"

Gemma sighs, "Fine ruin my fun. I'll call."

**-BIA-**

I feel a hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. "Mac, wake up." I hear Juice say

"Just fuckin leave her there." Tig says

Juice scoffs, "It can't be comfortable." He says while shaking me again.

I lift my head, and look around confused. I must have fallen asleep with my head on my arms at the bar. "What time….?"

Juice looks at his cell phone. "2:45 in the morning. You fall asleep, while waiting up for me?" he asks.

I furrow my brows at him. "No I was waiting for Happy." I say

While eating pizza with Gemma, we chatted about the Blue Bird numbers, and she filled me on her day. Which she spent reading and talking to Abel, before running to the market to grab a few things for the family dinner that's happening tomorrow night. I gave a lot of thought as to how to approach Hap and tell him his mom called.

I figured I could wait at the garage and tell him tonight, but then I realized I didn't know what time they'd be back. It's also possible that he'd just want to go to bed, and it's not like he's going to call Rose late at night. I don't think a post it stuck to his door would go over well, So I decided that I'd pull him aside tomorrow at my Dad's house, since I don't have a number to call and tell him.

When Gemma and I went to leave, I found that I didn't have my car keys. Gemma had offered to drive me home and have someone bring my car to the house tomorrow, but I knew I could use a drink after the odd day I'd had. So after telling Gemma my plans to drink and hang out until the guys got back, we said our goodbyes, with her reminding me to come to the house early to help prep for dinner, and I promised to bring dessert.

I had headed into the clubhouse, and put my Ipod into the dock in the main room. I was going to stick to beer, but took a shot of vodka first then grabbed a beer and took a seat at the bar. I sat there for a little while staring at the hall of fame of mug shots, before choosing to draw instead of over thinking everything.

"What do you want?" Hap asks, his voice not telling me anything.

I spin around on my bar stool and look at him. "I gotta talk to you."

Happy waves his hand out, his face blank, "Talk."

I feel the urge to scream, but sigh instead. "It's personal."

Happy shrugs. I take a deep breath and put my sketch pad back into my purse, then hop off the stool and walk to him.

"Come on." I say with a tilt of my head, before walking out the door. I stop a few feet in front of the bikes outside, unsure if he followed me since I didn't look back.

"Talk." Happy orders

I smile a little pleased that he followed me, then sigh not looking forward to this and turn to face him. "Your mom called, looking for you." I say softly, looking in his eyes.

"What?" he asks a bit confused

"Your mom, Rose, she called the shop looking for you today." I say a little bit louder thinking he didn't hear me.

Hap narrows his eyes and cocks his head. "And you just happened to answer?" he says accusation clear in his voice

I furrow my eyebrows, "What's that suppose to mean?" I ask confused. "Of course I answered; it's part of my job to take the phone calls at TM."

He sighs roughly. "How do you know her name?" he asks, ignoring my question

"She introduced herself to me when she called." I say, trying to figure out why he seems mad

"But you knew her name before that didn't you." He accuses, while searching my eyes.

I bite my lip, "Well Koz had mentioned something about a Rose-."

"Fuckin Koz!" Hap growls cutting me off. "You were talkin to Koz about my business?"

I grit my teeth, clench my hands into fists, and take a deep breath. "Koz said something about you being in a bad mood, even before finding out about Rose. He only told me it was your mom because I freaked out thinking you had an Old Lady. He didn't tell me anything else. We weren't hiding and sitting around talking about you in the bathroom or anything." I say with a shrug, acting casual while holding in my anger

"Yeah I'm sure." He says sarcastically

I tilt my head to the side and crack my neck. _Be nice, just give him the message_, I think then nod. "Rose said not to worry, everything's fine. She was just calling to tell you that she started chemo. She-."

"You talk like you know her." Happy says angrily, cutting me off again, with an unspoken question in his voice.

_Deep breath_, I think then take one. "Rose said she didn't have your new number, so the guys in Tacoma gave the number to TM to her. And since I didn't have your number either, I said I'd take a message." I say, my voice strained with trying to keep my temper under control.

Hap narrows his eyes at me. "How long did you talk to her?"

I bite my lip, in thought. "Well I don't really know. For a while, she seemed kinda lonely." I say thinking back

Happy shifts his body, "I take care of her. The fuck you know?" he spits

I wince, realizing how what I said sounded and that I must have hit a soft spot. "I didn't mean it like that Hap." I insist truthfully, and put my hand on his arm.

He shakes me off and steps back, before turning to walk away.

I frown. "Hey, I'm not done yet!" I say exasperated to him

Hap tenses, and then turns on his heel to face me. "What?" he growls, sounding dangerous.

I narrow my eyes at him, and ignore his tone. "I wanna help." I say softly

Happy cocks his head, and just looks at me confused, not saying anything.

I take a deep breath and shake my head. "If you're busy, or anything, I'd love to help out Rose any way I can."

Hap raises his eyebrows, before lowering them and glaring at me. "What makes you think you have the right? Why would you?"

I glare back. "Rose seems nice, and I like her. You have a lot going on right now. You switched charters, and with club business and all it could be a lot to juggle. So if you can't do something that needs to be done, or you don't wanna choose between your sick mom and SAMCRO, feel free to come to me. I'd like to help _you_ out." I say through clenched teeth, barely concealing my rage.

Happy seems surprised by my words, and just watches me in silence for a minute, before squaring his shoulders and narrowing his eyes. "Don't think that just because we fucked a few times, that I'm gonna let you near my mom." He says harshly

The whole time he's watching me, in my head I'm chanting; _Be nice he's going through a lot. Be nice he's going through a lot. Be nice he's going through a lot. Be nice he's-._ But I stop mid chant as his words hit me, and narrow my eyes at him.

"Look asshole, your business is your business, I know and respect that. You don't gotta tell me shit, and I'm not bugging you for details; I'm just offering to help you, a'ight?" I ask rhetorically, then step into his face. "Don't for a second think that you know me, or my motivations for doing something." I hiss

Hap narrows his eyes and leans in to my face. "And don't for a second think that I'll take you up on it." He hisses

I smirk at him, while still in his face. "Well I already told Rose I'd help, so if she wants she knows how to reach me." I say cockily

"Stop calling her Rose, like you know her or some shit." Happy growls and throws himself away from me and walks away.

"HEY!" I yell

Hap spins around to face me, "The fuck you want now?" he growls roughly.

I smirk, _I guess he doesn't like to be out smarted_, I think. "You have my car keys." I say and hold my hand out.

He narrows his eyes at my smirk, and then reaches into his jean pocket. "Huh, look at that, I do have your keys." He says pulling the keys out and looking at them.

I narrow my eyes at him, "For the record she told me to call her Rose."

Hap snaps his head up, and looks at me. "How much do you know?" he growls

I eye my keys in his hand and wonder if I could run up, take them and get to my car before he catches me. "I know she's in a nursing home of some kind, and that she has cancer or something and had chemo to treat it. And that I'm sorry that happened to your mom." I say the last part gently so he can tell I mean it.

Happy walks farther away from me, backwards, and shakes his head. "Stay out of my fuckin business." He says forcefully, before throwing my keys toward me.

I hear the keys hit the pavement near me, but make no move to pick them up. Instead I stand there watching his back as he walks away, wondering what the hell I did that was so wrong in his book?

I'm not sure how long it is after he disappears into the clubhouse, but I finally shake myself and bend to retrieve my keys, before getting in my car, heading home and throwing myself in my bed.

**-BIA-**

After sleeping through the morning hours, I wake up the next afternoon, not at all looking forward to the family dinner tonight. I'll be in a confined space with Hap, I mean sure the other guys will be there too but it won't matter, I'll still be stuck on him. I shake my head and hope for the best, before getting out of bed and throwing on jeans and a plain gray t shirt.

After throwing some laundry in the washer, I head out to the grocery store to pick up some food. I spend the remainder of the afternoon, doing something that I truly love. Baking and listening to music; baking is my go to for stress relief, and for fun. I know it's an odd mixture, but it works for me. Some people eat away their stress or drama, sometimes I do that too, but mostly I like to get lost in the music and focus on making something.

There's just something about the smell of sugar, chocolate, flour and something baking in the oven that calms me. It gives me a sort of warm, nice and soothing feeling. That's not to say that a certain Mr. Be an ass because someone wants to help, doesn't pop into my head. How could he not, when I'm in my kitchen? I shiver every time I look at the counter, and grab the new carton of eggs.

After my baking is done, and cooling. I take my clothes out of the dryer, and head up stairs to fold, and then put them away. I change my sheets, and then hop into the shower. I take longer than usual, dragging my feet since I wish I didn't have to go. Eventually the hot water runs out so I get out, grab a bra and panties, and then stand in front of my closet. I shake my head at myself and focus on picking something out.

After searching, and over thinking what I want to wear, I close my eyes and randomly select something by grabbing it. I open my eyes and see a white and pink dress. I shrug and go over to my switch my bra for a strapless one. After pulling my bra and panties on, I pull the dress over my head, and then look down at myself. The dress exposes my shoulder, and comes to about mid thigh, maybe a little shorter. The dress is mainly white, The back has pink striped on the white, while the front has the stripes on one side a little bit, with wispy pink outlined flowers on the other.

I brush my hair out, and leave it down. Then grab my white heels I wore yesterday, and pull them on. When I get down stairs I put the desserts in traveling containers and put them in my car. I make one last trip to my house and grab my purse, and make sure I have my phone before heading out.

When I pull up in front of my Dad and Gemma's house, I look around. There are a few cars present, and two bikes; Jax's and my Dad's. I sigh and run a hand through my hair, assessing my thoughts on the situation.

I'm still mad at Hap for all the shit he keeps doing to me. I had put it aside to help him out, since I figured it can't be easy, but he all but spit in my face at my offer. I want him, I know it makes me so stupid, but damn do I want that man. I want to avoid him since he's being odd, and I know it's not going to be a fun experience to be in the same house as him.

I shake my head at myself and think, _God I'm such a girl. I'm gonna go in there and act like nothing happened, everything's fine._ I nod at myself, liking this plan.

There's a knock on my window and I jump, only to wince when my seat belt pulls me back down. I unbuckle my self, as I look out the window, and see Juice with a big smile on his face. I frown realizing I didn't hear him pull up.

Juice opens my door. "Hey, need a hand?" he asks eyeing the containers in my passenger seat.

"Uh, sure?" I say

"What'd ya make?" he asks eagerly, licking his lips

I smile at him, "They're for_ after_ dinner. You want Gemma getting mad again because you didn't eat her food, since you ate a bunch of dessert first?"

Juice sighs, "Fine, is it all going in?" he asks as I step out of the car.

I look at the containers, "Yeah, all of it." I say motioning with my hand.

Juice nods, walks over to the passenger side, and starts filling up his arms. "Um, I can't pile all these on top of each other, while holding on to these." He says lifting his arms a bit

I laugh at him, "I can carry some, ya know." I say joining him on the other side of the car.

"I can get it all." He says stubbornly

I smile and put my hand on his arm, "I appreciate the help Juice, but I can carry some too. Thank you though."

"Oooh, what'd you bake?" I hear Tig ask

I look around confused, _How long was I just sitting in my car?_ I think as I see a bunch of bikes lined up at the curb. I see Happy walking over with Tig, as Bobby, who has some sort of food in his hands, heads to the door. Hap's face is blank but not in calm blank sort of way, more like a pissed off, trying to conceal it, blank. He looks at Juice, and then at me, I swear he looks mad, but it's as quick as a flash before it's gone.

"A lot of stuff." Juice answers Tig, when I make no attempt to answer.

Tig walks up and grabs a few containers from Juice, and I blink at him, as i drop my arm from Juice's. "What? Only guys who are fuckin you get to carry your food?" Tig asks. "What do I get if I carry all this in?" he asks with a leer.

I scoff at him, "Not a damn thing. Well maybe a cookie."

Tig smiles, "What's 'cookie' code for?"

I open the top container that Juice is holding. "A cookie." I say shoving the chocolate chip cookie I pulled out, into Tig's mouth.

"What the fuck? Why does he get dessert before dinner?" Juice complains like a little kid.

I roll my eyes and shove a cookie in his mouth too. "Now shut it, and move it ya baby." I say while shoving my shoulder into his lightly.

"Thanks." Juice says around a mouthful, as he starts for the door.

"I'm supposed to shove stuff in your mouth, not the other way around." Tig says throwing an arm around my waist and pulling me into him

I look up at him and smile sweetly. "Try it, and I'll bite it off." I say and snap my teeth at him.

Tig lets go of me and recoils with a shudder. "Crazy bitch."

I nod at him. "Damn straight. Now don't drop those." I say tilting my head at his arms, as I put another container in them, before walking up to the door. I look over my shoulder as I reach the door, and see Hap walking with Tig.

_Ugh, I really don't wanna go in here. _I think as I step over the threshold.

**A/N- Ahhhhh it's good to be back! Let me know what you think!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N-Hey everyone. So i don't really have much to say here, except that the song that's used later i picked because when i hear it i sing along and get caught up in the anger of it. So i had to use it the same way for Mac. Listen to it while reading that part or afterward, if you want but you don't have too.**

**Thanks and Shout out to Lauren (Bad Company)- I don't know what I'd do without her. She always gets what I'm saying or trying to say in my own fucked up way. Luv ya girl!**

**I own nothing you recognize. But i do own a purple Ipod, which plays songs randomly and i just have to add them into my story, since the usually fit what's going down. **

**_italics= Lyrics, Thoughts, or emphasis_  
**

**Enjoy...  
**

***~*Chapter 15*~***

As soon as I step into the entryway I freeze, feeling like this is a bad idea. I consider saying fuck it and leaving but feel a gentle shove on my back.

"Come on Pip, move it." Tig says, with another shove

"There's plenty of room, go around." I tell him, without looking back

Tig scoffs, "And miss out on watchin your ass in that dress? I don't think so."

I hear a huffed growl, as Happy brushes his side against me, before walking past me and heading to the living room. I sigh, and walk into the kitchen with Tig following me.

Gemma's head snaps up from whatever she's doing at the sink. "About fuckin time, where you been Mac?"

"I was-." I start but Tig cuts me off by pushing past me

"Finally." He says lifting his shoulders and shaking his arms a bit, after putting the containers on the counter.

"Those were so heavy." I say sarcastically

Tig narrows his eyes at me. "Nah, but it's hard to restrain myself from jumpin on you." He says looking me up and down before leaving the kitchen

"That's just fuckin gross." I say to no one and shake my head

"Lots of girls like Tig. I hear he's good at-." Luann says

I hold up my hand and stop her. "No. I'm sure he has his _skills_." I shudder, disgusted just thinking of it. "And girls want him, that's all great. But I don't wanna hear sex stories that involve him." I tell them

Luann looks confused. "You aren't a prude. Why don't you wanna hear the stories?"

I sigh, "You're right, I'm not a prude." I look around the kitchen at the women, and smile slightly. "You can tell all the stories you want, Just give me that." I say motioning to the joint that Luann's holding in her hand.

Luann shrugs, "No problem, Honey." She says handing it over

I take a long inhale, and hold it until my lungs are screaming for air, then exhale. _I hope this calms me down._ I think, as I blow the smoke up at the ceiling before taking another hit.

"You ok, Baby girl?" Gemma asks.

I look over at her, and see her watching me concerned. "I'm fine, obviously." I say motioning to the counter where the desserts sit, thinking she should be able to tell I dealt with my shit, even though I didn't. I frown as I only see the few containers that Tig brought in. I glance around the kitchen but don't see any sign of the missing desserts; I shake my head and leave the room without a word.

When I reach the living room, I stop, take a puff of the joint and survey the guys. They're all here, sitting around drinking. Some are watching the baseball game that's on TV, while others are just talking to each other. But sitting in the corner is Juice, with a lap top in front of him and an open dessert container in his lap. I exhale my smoke, _I really don't need this added stress_, I think and walk up to Juice with a hand on my hip.

"What are you doin?" I ask tapping my foot

Juice's head snaps up, mid-chew on a cookie. "Uhhh…" he trails off and looks around for some sort of help. Once he sees none he tries again, "I, um…?"

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Uhh… You thought you'd take the desserts and eat them? Um… don't you know that I made them for_ everyone_?" I say with a sweep of my hand to include the room and kitchen, before taking another hit. I meant it jokingly, but it comes out bitchy since I'm not in a joking kind of mood.

"Uh-Oh, trouble in paradise." Tig says gleefully

Juice frowns and looks confused, since he's not use to getting this from me. "Sorry Mac, I didn't eat much."

I look down in the container, "This was full." I say taking it and giving it a shake for emphasis, "Now it's half empty."

"Or half _full_." Juice says with a cute smile.

I roll my eyes, but smile back at him. "Whatever, just hand them over so I can take 'em to the kitchen."

Juice stands up, "I'll take 'em." When I cock an eyebrow at him, he smiles sheepishly. "For real this time." He says

I nod, and look around at the guys as he walks to the kitchen. My eyes are like a fucking magnet, immediately drawn to Hap, I take another hit off the joint. _Why the fuck isn't this helping? _ I think to myself.

"Should you be smoking that?" Jax asks me from his seat in a chair

I tare my eyes from Happy's, who is sitting next to Chibs on a couch, and look at my brother with a raised eyebrow. "Why the fuck can't I smoke?" I ask irritated

"Yeah why can't she smoke? She clearly needs it, but I doubt that it'll help her, since she's already such a bitch." Tig says

"Tig, what the fuck?" My dad asks

"Let me get you guys some beers." I say numbly, using all my effort to hold my anger in and push it down.

When I get to the kitchen I hand the little nub of a joint off to Gemma, who takes a hit. "What's goin on, Sweetie?" she asks as she exhales

I shake my head, "Just getting the guys some beers. Juice brought in the other desserts?" I ask as I head to the cooler near the refrigerator

"He did. You didn't need to make that much." She says shaking her head.

I scoff at her. "The guys will eat everything here and still be hungry."

Gemma and all the girls laugh, "Ain't that the truth." Someone says

I load my arms full of beer, and turn to head back when Gemma steps in front of me. "You baked a lot, and you were late so it wasn't just for fun. What's up?" she asks me quietly

I sigh, hating the fact that she's so knowledgeable sometimes. "Nothin that's gonna get solved right now." I say, before walking past her to the guys in the living room.

I head straight to Jax, and stop still holding on to the top of his beer as he grabs the bottom. "Where's Op?" I ask quietly; realizing he's the only guy missing, Kip's even here.

Jax sighs, "At home, with Donna and the kids."

I furrow my brows and let his beer go. "They should be here. It's not a family dinner without all the family." I say pointing at his cut

He runs a hand through his hair. "I know, they'll get it together though." Jax says and nods

I nod too, "I hope so, I miss his tall bearded ass." I tell him, and walk over to my Dad's chair.

"Thanks Princess." He says taking the beer I offer him

"No problem, Dad." I say, before trying to move to give the other guys their beers. But my Dad lifts his leg up, almost tripping me.

"Tryin to make me drop all these bottles on the floor?" I ask looking at him

"Like I want world war fuckin three takin place between you and Gemma." He says with a shake of his head, before tapping his cheek telling me he wants a kiss.

I roll my eyes at him, "Who ya got?" I ask leaning down and giving him a peck on the cheek which he returns, before stand back up

My Dad laughs; "Like I'm stupid enough to answer that and get a heel up my ass." he says and winks at me

I smirk and raise my eyebrows at him, silently asking him if he just choose me right there.

He shrugs, "You're Irish, tough, feisty and you fight dirty. My little Princess." My dad says fondly, raising his beer bottle at me.

I smile at him, "I'm not little." I say as I bend down and give him another kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Dad." I say before moving on to the others

After avoiding it, and giving the beers to everyone else, I make my way to the couch where Chibs, and Happy are sitting. "Fresh beer?" I ask

"Thanks darlin'." Chibs says taking one.

Hap makes no move and says nothing, so I turn to him with a raised eyebrow and hold out a beer. I don't say anything because I'm not sure what will come out of my mouth, and I don't think a heated argument between the two of us would be a good idea in front of my Dad and brother, it'd be too obvious.

Happy doesn't look at the beer just looks at my face with narrowed eyes, which really doesn't help my annoyance level that's about to hit its peak of bullshit for the day. Well technically its bullshit of the last three weeks, since we haven't dealt with our issues and me pushing all this shit down really isn't helping anything. I move my hand a little bit, not shaking the beer, but making my impatience with him evident. Hap finally reaches out and grabs the bottle.

Chibs clears his throat, pulling my attention and glare from Happy. "So what did ya make for dessert darlin'?" he asks, effectively saving me from scrutiny

"Chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, apple pie, cheesecake brownies, regular brownies, monkey bread and Irish coffee cake." I say ticking them off on my fingers

"Mmmm, Irish coffee cake." Chibs says patting his stomach eagerly, as Tig gets back from the bathroom and sits down next to him, while grabbing his own bottle of beer from my hand.

I smile at Chibs, "I figured you'd be- What the _fuck_ are you doin?" I hiss at Tig as he grabs the bottom of my dress, right between my thighs, and uses it to open his bottle of beer.

"Openin my beer." He says with a shrug, as Happy comes out of no where and quickly pulls my dress free of Tig's hand.

I can't say for sure what it is, either Tig grabbing at me or Hap acting like he doesn't want Tig touching me, maybe it's both, I don't know and I really can't tell you. But it's too damn much, I see red, and snap. I smack the now open beer out of Tig's hand and it goes flying, seemingly in slow motion as beer splatters out in the air, but I don't watch to see where it lands. I take a step back so I can see both Hap and Tig, and unleash what I'm sure is a bitchy glare.

"Now you fuckin _listen_ to me." I hiss and I can see all heads swing to me out of the corner of my eyes, as the room goes quiet except for the TV. "It's _not_ gonna happen, _ever_, so back the fuck off."

Tig looks confused and pissed, while Happy raises his eyebrows, which I read as him disagreeing with me. I feel my whole body start shaking as my rage seems to swallow me up whole.

"Don't be an asshole to me one second, and then try to be all flirty, nice and all that _phony_ shit the next! It's giving me fuckin whiplash." I point at the couch, not sure if I'm pointing at anyone, as I'm no longer capable of rational thought. "I am _not_ some whore ass, skanky as fuck _crow eater_ who you can be _rude to_ and _treat like shit_, and then act like _nothing happened_ and _everything's fine_."I growl, my voice started strong but grew stronger and more powerful with each word.

My whole body is shaking, and I feel like hitting someone really fucking hard. I can tell that there are tears in my eyes, since my vision is clouded and watery. It's rare, but sometimes when I get so mad the tears just spring forth. I really wish they wouldn't right now in this moment though, it feels like they're ripping the integrity from the soul of my words.

I can't really see through the rage, and tears but I see movement on the couch in front of me, before I'm wrapped in a big hug that smells like leather and beer. I make no move to return the hug, I just stand there shaking, and trying to hold the tears prisoner in my eyes.

"Shh darlin'. I gotcha, it's fine, yer fine." I hear Chibs say in my ear as he rubs my back.

I pull back from him, and he drops his arms, letting me go with a sigh. I step back without looking at anyone. "_Nothin_ is fine and I've had e-_fucking_-nough!" I say loudly, my voice rough with the strain of tears and walk away from all the guys.

"Don't look at me like that, Clay. I didn't do shit." I hear Tig say, as I round the corner and find Gemma standing there looking concerned. I shake my head at her, and lean against the wall to listen, relax and breathe.

I hear a snort, "Like fuck you didn't. When you gonna get it through your head that she doesn't want you? You were around when she was in diapers, for fuck's sake, it's sick!" Jax says

Tig scoffs, "Please, after all the shit Mac's gone through, She can handle me hittin on her. She doesn't want me, fine, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna act any different to her. Mac's a little hottie, great body and beautiful." He says and whistles

I raise my eyebrows and shake my head, while Gemma shakes her head too.

"Tig, stop tryin to fuck my sister." Jax says forcefully.

"She needs someone who she can count on, who can eliminate a threat in the blink of an eye if necessary. I'll be there if she needs me, even after she finds that guy. And it isn't gonna be an accountant, nine to five bag boy, a guy in a suit or any shit like that. It's gonna be a Son, and we all know it. You don't grow up in an MC and bring John Doe to family dinner with a Daddy who packs heat twenty-four seven." Tig says confidently

"Wow, How bout that? Tig actually has brains beyond how to kill shit." Gemma whispers to me. And I nod with a small smile at her, equally surprised

"As much as it pains me to say it, Tig's right. Mac's gonna make one hell of an Old Lady one of these days." Bobby says

"No, she won't be an Old Lady." My dad says angrily

Tig laughs, "Clay there's nothing you can do, and it's inevitable. Mac's a strong willed, sexy and passionate woman. What she wants, and puts her mind to, she'll get."

"It's true. None of us can resist _the pout._ She's always had this club, and each and every one of us, wrapped around her little finger." Bobby says with a shrug in his voice

Tig scoffs, "Not me."

Chibs laughs. "Says the guy who use to let her braid his hair."

"I was asleep." Tig says roughly as all the guys laugh.

"Sure ya were." Chibs says, laughing

"I was. Even if I hooked up with her I wouldn't be wrapped around her finger." Tig says

"No need to be ashamed, _Tigger_. After all we all were and still are." Chibs says to him. I smile at him throwing the nickname I coined for Tig at him.

"Leave her the fuck alone, and keep your dick away from her. And that goes for you too Juice." My Dad says, clearly unhappy about what Tig said.

"Fine, but maybe it's time for you to see that she's not the little girl that you were use too. Even before she got locked up, you treated her like she wasn't capable of taking care of her self, like she was a baby. We give her shit, but she's a tough chick, physically and mentally." Tig says.

I smile, feeling bad about yelling at him and think about giving him a hug. I'm both shocked and touched that he sees me as tough, period, let alone mentally.

"I bet she's insane in bed too." Tig continues wistfully. I sigh heavily and shake my head. Of course Tig would say something stupid and ruin a nice compliment

"TIG!" my Dad and Jax both yell at him.

"So fucked up, man." Juice says and I can picture him shaking his head.

"Tig's, fucked up fantasies, aside. The _point_ is, that Mac's not the little girl who use to ride around on that small imitation Harley they make for kids, that we painted pink for her, and use to run around begging to get a reaper put on her back, both on a cut and a tattoo." Bobby says, trying to defuse the situation

"She was so pissed when she saw her bike pink. But she rocked it anyway." Jax says laughing

"Aye, remember when she made her own Cut?" Chibs asks with a laugh. "Shite was classic, with her hand drawn reaper on the back, and stickers she used for patches. The four leaf clover, and tree that she said was to 'show her Irishness and to mark her as part of 'Redwood Original'."

I smile, remembering Chibs asking me about my 'patches' and my explanations. My 'Cut' was badass.

"Yeah, it was Jax's denim jacket that she stole and hacked to pieces. She was pissed that she couldn't find any leather, but I told Mac it was fine and she'd match me. I can still see the smile she gave me." Piney says fondly

"I have it hangin in my closet." My Dad says with a smile in his voice

"Even then I could tell she'd be with a Son. Mac deserves someone good." Tig says, and doesn't ruin his nice words this time.

I feel tears slide down my cheeks at the affectionate words of the guys. Gemma puts her arm around me, and pulls me to follow her down the hallway, farther away from them.

"No, she won't be." My Dad says in denial, his voice hard

"Think about it Clay, she needs someone who knows this life and can hang with us. Mac's so loyal to this club that if she fell for someone who wasn't a Son, she'd dump them and be heart broken if they said bad shit about us. Plus She can handle the Old Lady stuff, hell she already does all that shit now, helps with club stuff, keeps secrets, takes care of us. She just doesn't have a man." Bobby says

Just then Happy rounds the corner, with a few empty beer bottles in his hands. He stops when he notices me, and I quickly duck into the bathroom, hoping to hide my tears, without looking at his face. Gemma comes in with me, I'm tempted to kick her out but I don't really want to be alone right now.

"Why's it gotta be so hard?" I ask as I sit down on the closed toilet lid, thinking about the whole Happy situation

Gemma crouches down in front of me and takes a hold of my hands. "Honey, it's the shit that comes easiest that you lose quickly, because you're so use to it being easy that you aren't prepared to defend it. But when something's hard, you fight and struggle with it. And while you were focused on the taming, that difficult thing worked its way into your heart and burrowed in deep. And once it has a firm grasp, you guard it, cherish it, and defend it at any and all costs. You know that better than most."

I can feel her watching my face as she says all this, and I meet her eyes and nod my understanding before she continues.

"You lose something easy and it just slips away from you, leaving little evidence it was there. But you lose something you've fought for? It tares you up from the inside out, leaving scars on everything it touched, and even on shit you didn't even know about."

I look down at my hands, just thinking about how right Gemma is. The life that we live is hard, and I'm constantly fighting. Whether it's to try to destroy my family, or me, I'll always fight those who want to destroy us, no matter the cost. Things that have happened to me in the past, where I've fought have left their painful scars lingering on me for almost sixteen years, for more than one reason.

Now that I think about it, I always knew that it wouldn't be easy to be in any sort of dating relationship, which I'm not, because Bobby was right, I don't have a man. I've picked out the one I want, but I don't see him even considering anything other than sex with me. Dating some regular Joe Schmoe guy wouldn't work. He wouldn't get my past, my family, my life, none of it.

I learned how to fight fist to fist, shoot guns and how to wield a knife in a fight, all when I was younger than ten. I've been through the pain of worrying that members of my family won't make it home, and seen them come back scratched, bruised and covered in blood. I've seen fresh bullet holes and knife wounds. What normal guy is going to want their wife and mother of their children to be me? There's no way they'd ever be able to deal with all my shit.

I may have slept with a few guys here and there in the past, but I was never serious about them, never gone on a date, never their girlfriend, never _theirs_. But I'm fine with that, since I've always chalked all that up to pointless anyways. Because despite the fact that I don't want to make trouble with the guys in the club, and I know my Dad doesn't like the idea, I want a Son.

I want the guy that can go shoot and kill to protect his brothers and our family. Despite all the sex that is readily at his hands, I want to be the one he desires enough to come home and sleep next to. I want to make him breakfast when I wake up; do his laundry, all that classically girlie wifely duty bullshit. I want him to put his claim on me.

And I want all that with Happy.

I shake my head. "I'm still pissed off at him." I say to myself

"You know Tig was just being himself, don't let him ruin your day." Gemma says, I had completely forgotten that she as with me. "Sweetie, why don't you go up and lay down in your room for a while before dinner." she says gently

I look at her confused. "I'm fine, and I'm gonna help with dinner."

She shakes her head. "No, you're not. You don't gotta sleep or anything, just lay there, sit there, listen to music, whatever. Just take a breather and then someone will let you know when dinners done." Gemma says firmly

I sigh, "Fine, fine. I'll go lay down for a few." I say standing up, conceding that I could totally use a little reprieve. I give Gemma a hand up, and she hugs me, before we split ways; her heading to the kitchen and me heading up the stairs.

When I get up to my old room, I plop down on top of the covers on the bed. I wish that I had brought my purse up, so I'd have my Ipod. I shrug and look at the ceiling, which is just like I always use to do, when things became too much.

I must have fallen asleep, as I feel someone shaking me gently for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. I open my eyes and see Jax sitting next to me on the bed. "Hey, this is a new wake up technique for you." I say quietly

Jax smiles, "Hey, yeah I figured I'd take it easy on ya for once. If we don't get down there soon you know they'll eat all the food right?" he points out, teasingly when I make no move to get up

"Shit." I say and sit up. "Let's eat."

Jax smiles "Good, 'cause it smells really fuckin good." He says and pulls me off the bed, then out the door.

"Slow the hell down." I tell him as he takes the stairs two at a time while pulling me along

He nods, "Right midget in heels."

I scoff, offended and punch him in the shoulder, as we make it down the stairs without any mishaps.

Jax holds his hands up, "Sorry… _little person_ in heels." He says trying to keep a straight face

I narrow my eyes, and go to hit him again but he runs, I shake my head before running after him.

"What the fuck?" I hear my Dad say as I make it to the dining room to see Jax near him, on the opposite side of the table.

I raise my eyebrows at Jax, and ignore all the curious eyes. "Real tough, scared of girl." I taunt, after I go left and he quickly goes right.

Jax scoffs, "Like I'm gonna surrender to your torture?"

"What happened to the guy who just woke me up nicely? His evil twin must have switched places, talked shit and is now shakin in his biker boots." I say wishing I could get under the table and go after him from there.

Jax shakes his head, "Ain't gonna work." He says in a sing song voice

I fake right, then turn left hoping to catch him, but he stops and switches his coarse.

"You're both adults, fuckin act like it and sit the hell down." Gemma says

I nod, and look sorry. "Right." I say and move to sit down near my Dad at the head of the table; my usual seat.

"No, not there." Gemma says stopping me. I look at her curiously and she explains. "You're sitting down there." She says and motions towards the other end of the table

"What? Where?" I ask for clarification, while looking down the table. The seats are all occupied so I have no clue where she's trying to sit me or why.

"Right down there, between Juice and Happy." She tells me, pointing.

I look at her like she's insane. "Why can't I sit up here like I usually do?" I ask waving my hand in my Dad's general direction

Gemma shrugs, "You were asleep, and everyone sat down." She says too casually

I narrow my eyes at her. I layed down at her urging, and there's no way in hell that the seat between Juice and Hap is just miraculously the only seat available. She planned this, probably trying to make me feel better with Juice sweet, and funny on one side, and Happy sexy and lusty on the other. But of course she has no clue as to my current issues.

I move my head around on my neck, and walk around the table to my seat. I slow my stride as I get near Jax, and punch him in his arm and give him a hip check. Before continuing and then squeezing in between Juice and Hap. "Hey guys." I say casually, with a hand on each of their shoulders, then sitting down.

Jax acts like I checked him harder than I did, and staggers back a few feet. "Damn, those things could kill a man." He says rubbing his hip

I smirk and think, _Yeah they could_. With a casual glance at Happy, who's looking down at his plate.

"Not a bad way to die." Tig says. Happy grabs my leg under the table, as his head snaps up and he glares at Tig while shaking his head.

"Tig, what'd I say earlier?" Jax asks, as I put my hand on top of Hap's and rub lightly.

Tig shrugs, "You were talking about Mac's hips, and it's kinda creepy since she's your _sister_." He says smiling while playing dumb.

Happy had loosened his grip but at Tig's mention of my hips squeezes my leg again. I rub then squeeze his hand, and he pulls it away. I frown, wishing he'd have left it there, but shake my head at myself.

"He means earlier, when you kept talking about Mac's body and he told you to stop." Juice says, trying to be helpful only to get a glare from Tig in return, as everyone else laughs. I sigh and laugh, relieved that Juice is a socially stunted guy, who just pulled me out of a spiral of funk.

"Enough, foods ready." Gemma says to Tig, carrying a big platter of meat into room

"Um…" Kip says then clears his throat. "I don't eat meat." He says quietly

Gemma waves her hand at him, "You should eat meat, you're too damn skinny. But there's plenty of other stuff for you to eat."

Juice turns to me. "So you give anymore thought to joining facebook, or myspace?" he asks

I roll my eyes and pat him on the chest. "For the millionth time, Juice. I don't give a shit about the asshole losers I went to school with. The people who matter are all here, or I can talk to on the phone. So drop it already."

"But there's games and-." He tries to talk me into it.

I shake my head. "Juice, no, it's not for me."

He sighs, and pouts but replaces it with a smile, when the platter of meat is passed his way. I smile at him and shake my head. Hap narrows his eyes at me, then looks at Juice, then back at me and cocks his head.

_Just fuckin great, this is gonna be a fun meal._ I think as I accept the meat dish.

**-BIA-**

After I finish eating, I sit there between Juice and Happy, bouncing my leg up and down, just waiting for a chance to get out of here. Dinner was horrible, not the food that was good, it was my company.

I feel a hand press my leg firmly down, stopping me mid bounce and jump. "What's wrong?" Juice asks me while squeezing my bare knee

_What's wrong, is that I'm about to grab your steak knife, and stab myself so I can get the fuck out of dodge._ I think to myself, while Happy gives a growl low in his throat and scraps his fork on his plate as he looks down at my leg. He's trying to play it off like he's looking at his plate but I can see where his eye line is.

I don't answer Juice; I just look around the table. I feel like throwing my hands in the air and shouting with happiness as I see a few people finish their food, and push their plates away. Instead I sigh, get up which removes Juice's hand from my knee, and collect the plates before taking them into the kitchen. After putting the dishes on the counter, I turn the faucet on and start scrubbing them, using my pent up frustration, and confusion for energy, as I allow my mind to wander over dinner.

Everyone had a good time, there were tons of laughs, smiles and even some food tossed around playfully. Everyone except me, and of course, Happy. Sitting between him and Juice could have been fine, should have been fun, but _no_. A certain someone just had to growl, cut his meat a little too forcefully, scowl, glare, and just be overly rude. Every time Juice touched me, or I touched him, or we shared a laugh about something. If Juice was paying attention to me, those were Hap's reactions.

I shake my head and scrub a frying pan extra hard. I just don't get it. He's all 'stay out of my business,' and 'I don't want your help' and then suddenly he acts like a douche because I'm talking with Juice. I mean sure me and Juice flirt, but who cares? I'm not tied down, and neither is he. Flirting is fun, I'm a single girl and we both know that if we wanted to hook up or be together we would be, so there's no harm. We're close friends who share a love for flirting, big fucking whoop.

Oh, and let's not forget when Juice leaned in and whispered in my ear, asking what was wrong with Happy, because he kept growling. I had shrugged in answer, as Hap violently pushed his chair back and walked out of the room, his steps eating up the floor. I took a sip of my beer, to hold in the scream I wanted to unleash. Juice watched Hap go, and then said maybe Happy needed to get laid, which made me choke on my beer, and almost spit it in Luann's face, since she was seated across from me.

When Happy came back his mood wasn't better, if anything it seemed worse. One of the women had asked him to pass the potatoes, and he ignored it until finally acknowledging it with a growled 'get it your fuckin self'. No one had said anything to him; the women all glanced at him sharply, only to get a furious glare and look away quickly, clearly scared. I had wanted nothing more than to kick him in the leg, and wished I was wearing heels with a pointed toe, but instead I just did what all the guys did. Ignored it, well him, and kept eating like nothing happened.

In a way, I was grateful that Juice didn't put it together that every time we interacted, Hap got pissed. Had he noticed the obvious, then he might have said something, since he doesn't possess any social tact. I'm not being paranoid; I know it was obvious to more people than just me.

Gemma would glance at me every now and then, before looking at Happy. At first she was smiling because she thought she did something good by sitting me with him. But when she finally saw that he was becoming more and more agitated she cocked her head, with a slight frown and then went back to talking to my Dad and Bobby.

Chibs kept giving me looks that screamed that he wished he was closer so he could help. He also kept an eye on Hap. I'm pretty sure he thought that Happy might have jumped at Juice right there at the table. Chibs was real good at multitasking, he'd be chatting with Jax, Tig or one of the ladies, and angle his body so that he could watch the situation around me unfold without looking directly at us, never losing track of his conversation, all while still eating. He even pulled Juice's attention from me at one point, much to Hap's delight since he sighed instead of growling.

Hearing heels on tile, pulls me from my head. "Wow, Hun. You got one tightly wound man out there." Luann says coming up to stand next to me at the sink, with an armful of dishes.

I ignore her comment, crack my neck and stretch my back before getting back to the dishes. Luann, who was seated across from us, thought that the whole situation was amusing. She kept smiling and nodding every time Hap made noise to let his frustrations be known.

"Ya know, Otto was always like that, didn't want anyone on me or near me, always very possessive and protective." Luann says wistfully. "The sex must be fuckin great too. He just gives off that vibe of havin a big dick, and knowing how to use it."

I tune out Luann, and focus on the dishes. Bad enough during dinner I wanted to dive across the table and beat the enjoyment off her face, but now I want to strangle her so she'll shut the fuck up. And I fucking adore Luann.

"Jesus Christ, Sweetheart stop." Gemma says putting a hand on my arm to stop my scrubbing efforts; I didn't even know she was in here.

"Gem, I was just telling Mac what a lucky girl she is that her man's like that." Luann says nodding her head towards the living room.

I drop the pan I was working on, rinse my hands and step back from the sink, before turning to her. "He isn't my fuckin man." I say my voice uneven in my anger. I turn on my heel; head to the closet grab my Ipod from my purse, before going out the back door and slamming it.

I sit on the porch steps, hook my Ipod up, and pick shuffle, hoping that the music can take me away. The universe is clearly fucking with me, because as soon music fills my ears, Alicia Keys' 'If I ain't got you' starts. I quickly hit next, and then have to continue hitting it because the songs are all girlie, and love related. I finally get out of those songs and 'In Da Club' by 50 Cent comes on, I lean back on my elbows, nod my head along to the beat, and I look up at the sky, zoning out to the music.

After listening to a handful of rap songs, which pushed my thoughts back, an old familiar favorite of mine starts in my ears. I shut my eyes and listen to the song until the end, as it conjures up my anger. It always helped me get threw my shit when I was younger, so what that I was ten and didn't really sympathize with the words, just identified with the anger, and the chorus. I start the song over again and sing along channeling my frustrations into the song, hoping it helps to purge them.

_I want you to know, that I'm happy for you  
I wish nothing but the best for you both  
An older version of me  
Is she perverted like me  
Would she go down on you in a theater  
Does she speak eloquently  
And would she have your baby  
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother_

_'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able  
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no  
And every time you speak her name  
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me  
Until you died, till you died  
But you're still alive_

'You Oughta Know' By Alanis Morrissette, isn't really a song that a young girl would listen to and understand. I got the point of the song back then, but that isn't what drew me to it. No, that was the angry frustration that builds threw out the song, and it's the passion of the chorus, that I've always identified with.

_And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know_

_You seem very well, things look peaceful  
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know  
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity  
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner  
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced  
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?_

_'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able  
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no  
And every time you speak her name  
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me  
Until you died, til you died  
But you're still alive_

_And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know_

I continue singing along, as I see this song as working for my current situation, which rears its head again. Not being dumped, and replaced, but toyed with and lead on. My frustration is overwhelming and I push it out in my voice as I sing along.

_'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me  
And I'm not gonna fade  
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it  
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back  
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it_

_Well, I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know_

My angst seems to bleed out of me with the lyrics, which I'm glad for. And as 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks starts, I sing along more calmly.

_I hate the world today  
You're so good to me  
I know but I can't change  
Tried to tell you  
But you look at me like maybe  
I'm an angel underneath  
Innocent and sweet  
Yesterday I cried  
Must have been relieved to see  
The softer side  
I can understand how you'd be so confused  
I don't envy you  
I'm a little bit of everything  
All rolled into one_

_I'm a bitch, I'm a lover  
I'm a child, I'm a mother  
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint  
I do not feel ashamed  
I'm your hell, I'm your dream  
I'm nothing in between  
You know you wouldn't want it any other way_

The chorus rings true, and seems to describe me perfectly, well except for the mother part. I've been all over the place with my emotions and reactions, nice and then pissed, then swapping back and forth. I shake my head as I realize Happy must think I'm nuts. I'm all over him, calling him Cupcake, making out and fucking. Then I'm calling him an asshole, slapping him and yelling in his face, even if it was justified on my part at the time.

I mean I resolved to be nicer to him, and I was, but he got pissed. I don't know how to be around him. I still have my anger at him, but I want him at the same time. At dinner I wanted to jump in his lap, hug and kiss him to reassure that I didn't want Juice. Yet at the same time I wanted to yell at him for ruining the experience of being so close to him with everyone else around.

I shake my head and decide to just go with Opie's advise from a few weeks back, to go with what feels right in that moment.

_I'm a bitch, I'm a lover  
I'm a child, I'm a mother  
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint  
I do not feel ashamed  
I'm your hell, I'm your dream  
I'm nothing in between  
You know you wouldn't want it any other way_

_I'm a bitch, I'm a tease  
I'm a goddess on my knees  
When you hurt, when you suffer  
I'm your angel undercover  
I've been numb, I'm revived  
Can't say I'm not alive  
You know I wouldn't want it any other way _

I finish singing the song with a smile on my lips and feel way more relaxed than I have since yesterday. My ear bud is pulled out of my ear, my eyes snap open, and I look around. I blink when I see Tig sitting next to me on the porch, looking comfortable with a beer in his hand, and staring off into the yard.

"Yeah, you are a bitch." Tig states calmly

"What, No comment about me being on my knees?" I ask surprised, that he didn't take a shot at me.

Tig turns his head, and looks at me seriously. "I thought you were smarter than this." He says lowly with disappointment

I cock my head at him, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're just like the rest of 'em. After what you want, and fuck the club and anything else that gets in your way, it's all about you. Just a fucking selfish bitch." He spits

I flinch at his words. "I'd never do anything to hurt this club." I say strongly

Tig raises his eyebrows. "So fucking Hap and Juice is supposed to _help_ the club?"

"I'm not fuckin Juice!" I say exasperated

"But you _are_ fuckin Happy." He says with certainty, nodding his head

"No, I, I'm not." I say realizing that I fucked up, and wasn't thinking.

Tig snorts, "Don't bother, Juice is the retard not me."

I shake my head and sigh, before shutting my eyes. "Don't call him that." I mumble

Tig doesn't say anything, and neither do I, as the weight of the situation hits me and I start to worry.

You can never tell what Tig's going to do about anything, but if it has to do with the club or my Dad, you can bet your ass that it'll be savage. So him knowing what's going on isn't good. He could easily go in the house and tell my Dad, and my Dad would…

"Please…" I bite my lip to stop the quivering, as I turn and open my eyes to look at him. "Be a dick to me all you want, call me every name in the book, just don't…. Just please don't tell my Dad, he'd kill Happy. Tig, please...Please don't… just fuckin _please_." I beg, my voice wavering as I feel tears run down my cheeks.

Tig cocks his head and looks at me a long moment, before shrugging. "Just stop cryin." He says and puts his arm around my shoulders.

I scoot closer and put my head on his shoulder. "Thank you." I say softly

"Think Hap'll come charging out here and _try_ to kick my ass for touchin you again?" he asks teasingly, while squeezing my shoulder

I snort at him, but don't move my head from his shoulder. "He'd kick your ass _again_."

Tig scoffs, but is quiet for a minute. "I'm not like your Dad, ya know."

I tilt my head and look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

He smirks, "I see you as you are, not like you were." He explains

I laugh sarcastically, "No shit? I hadn't noticed."

"You know I'm just fuckin with you, and I don't mean it." He says shaking his head. "Although I wouldn't mind fuckin you." He adds as an afterthought, while looking down at my body

I sigh and pull away from him, shaking my head.

He holds his hands up, "I'm a man, what do you expect?"

I roll my eyes, "I expect you to be my creepy Uncle Tigger. But I'm not gonna lean on you while you're talking about fuckin me, weirdo." I say and shove his shoulder playfully

Tig catches my hand in his. "But I'm _not_ your uncle." He says wagging his eyebrows, before dropping my hand and laughing.

I scoff and glare at him a little bit. "Why you gotta ruin what could be a nice moment?"

"'Cause I'm not a nice guy and neither is Hap." Tig says looking at me seriously.

I furrow my eyebrows at him. "Why would you say that?" I ask, unsure of his motivation

Tig lights a cigarette while watching me. "It won't be easy to be with him. You know that right?" he says exhaling.

I nod, "Yeah, I know." I say tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

He looks at me then puts his hand on my shoulder and stands up. "Good because, if he hurts you I'm gonna have to kill him, if Clay doesn't first."

I stand up quickly, and grab his arm as he turns away. "But you said you wouldn't tell him."

Tig shakes his head, and takes a puff of his cigarette. "I'm not gonna, but if Clay asks I'm not gonna lie." He says before going inside.

I bite my lip, and nod, ok with that, before following him inside, and heading to the living room. "Hey I'm gonna go." I tell everyone

Gemma frowns and stands up, "You didn't even have any dessert." She says

"It's fine, the guys can have my share." I say, seeing the guys part way through their desserts.

"This is fuckin great, Mac." Juice says holding up his fork

"Aye, good job sweetheart." Chibs adds while chewing his food. Bobby, Kip, Jax and my Dad all nod their agreements. I don't see Happy, though.

I laugh, "Thanks guys." I turn back to Gemma. "I'll see ya tomorrow ok?"

She nods, and hugs me. "He already left, so you can stay if you wanna." She whispers in my ear

I shake my head, "I'm tired." I whisper back, and pull away. "I'll see you guys in the am." I say to the room

Jax stands up and comes over. "A'ight, night sis." He says hugging and kissing me on the cheek.

I return the hug and kiss his cheek too. "Night bro." I say pulling back.

My Dad steps in front of me as Jax steps back. "Everything alright, Princess?" he whispers as he hugs me

I smile and kiss his cheek. "Yeah, I just need some sleep." I say hugging him tightly

He pulls back and raises his eyebrows at me, before kissing my forehead. "Tig botherin you?"

I laugh, "Always, but we're good." I reassure him. I hug and kiss the rest of the guys, then look around. "Where's Bobby?" I ask

"Right here." Bobby says, and I turn to see him coming out of the kitchen. "I'm heading out too, so I'll walk you to your car." He says

I nod, "Ok. Night guys." I say to everyone before going to the closet to grab my purse.

"If you wanna talk about it you know where to find me." Gemma says, behind me.

After picking up my purse and putting my Ipod in it, I turn and hug her. "I know." I say

Gemma gives me a tight squeeze. "We don't have to talk about the sex, if you don't want to." She whispers so quietly that I barely hear her.

I laugh, "I know. I don't even know what's going on right now, so talking isn't gonna help." I say pulling back

Gemma shakes her head. "You don't know that for sure. So I'm here whenever you need me." She reminds me before walking back to the living room.

"Ready?" Bobby asks, sweeping his hand toward the open front door.

I nod, and silently walk out to my car. As I open my car door, I hear Bobby clear his throat and turn around to face him.

"I don't like it." He says

"I was gonna give you a hug, I didn't forget you, I promise." I tell him with a smile

Bobby shakes his head. "You and Happy, I don't like it."

My smile drops, and I feel all the blood drain from my face. "What-."

He holds up his hand cutting me off. "Just be careful." He says and hugs me

I stand there frozen for a second before hugging him back. "Ok." I say, and Bobby lets me go, and turns to his bike. I watch him ride off down the street, numbly before shaking my head and getting in my car.

As soon as I turn off my Dad's road, I hear a bike engine start, and then see a single headlight shine in my side mirror. I squint into my rear view mirror, to figure out who it is, and my heart skips a beat as I realize it's Happy. I shake my head at my reaction, and keep driving.

Hap follows me all the way to my house, and pulls into my driveway as I pull into the garage, shut the car off, and get out. I see him standing next to his bike, and walk out of the garage, hitting the button to shut the door and walk over to him.

"Stalk much?" I ask as I stand a few feet from him.

"You'd fuckin love that wouldn't you?" He asks roughly

I huff at him, turn and walk to my front door before unlocking it. As I go to walk in, he pushes past me and walks in first. I sigh loudly. "I'm not in the mood for any of your multiple personalities." I say as I step into the house and tilt my head at the open door, silently telling him to leave.

Hap ignores it, and stares at me.

I roll my eyes and shut the door. "Fine." I say on a sigh, before pulling my shoes off.

Happy starts pacing, but never takes his eyes off me. It feels similar to when you go to the zoo and the lions walk near the glass and you know they're capable of taking you down in a blink of the eye. I'm not sure what he's thinking though, and his face isn't betraying anything.

When Hap's pacing takes him close to the open space of the living room, I walk past him but stay close to the wall, since I have no clue what his problem is. I don't get far though, because as soon as I get near the line he's pacing, he whirls around, presses me against the wall and kisses me.

I gasp surprised that he moved so fast, and he pushes his tongue into my mouth, before grabbing a handful of my hair, pulling my head to the side roughly, and picking me up. My legs automatically part, and wrap around his waist. Hap growls and pushes our bodies together and into the wall harder.

Happy suddenly lets go of my hair, grabs both my knees, unlocks my legs from around him so I'm standing and pulls his mouth off mine. He still has me sandwiched between him and the wall, with his body pressing into me, only now he's towering over me and breathing heavily with his eyes closed.

I'm breathing heavy too, but searching his face trying to figure out what happened. Happy's eyes snap open and he glares at me, I immediately glare back, sick of his shit.

"What would Juice think of you kissin me?" he grounds out

My hands curl into fists. "Because I'm such a fuckin whore, right? Get the fuck out." I spit

Hap cocks his head, but doesn't move. "What would he think if he knew what I've done to you?" he questions grinding his hips into mine.

"I'm really not in the mood for your games." I say calmly and try to wiggle away from him, but he keeps me trapped, and I sigh loudly.

"Me?" He asks incredulously. "You're the one playin games here."

"Oh, you've gotta be fuckin kidding me." I say looking at the ceiling, but then look back at Happy, who looks confused.

"You keep going hot and cold with me." I say and give a shove at his chest. "You want me." Shove. "You leave without sayin shit." Hard shove. "You come back unannounced." Shove. "You ignore me, get in a fight with Tig because a me, then drag me to your room to make out." Shove. "And call me." Shove. "A." Shove. "Fuckin." Shove. "Whore." I hiss with a very hard shove.

Hap staggers back and narrows his eyes. "The fuck I'm supposed to think, huh? We fuck, then you give me all this shit bout your Dad not find out, you give me this speech about you not being ashamed or regretting it, and then I find out you're with Juice. You think I'm cool with fuckin my brother's girl?" He spits

I cock my head and narrow my eyes, "But you know I'm not with Juice." I say confused, positive that he knows I'm not with anyone.

"How the fuck would I know that? You two don't even deny it, and you're both all over each other." He growls

I shake my head, "The guys all think we're together, no matter what we say." I tell him

Hap snorts, "Yeah and I fuckin wonder why."

I look at him sharply with narrowed eyes, "We flirt, who gives a flyin fuck." I say exasperated and throw my hands in the air.

Happy's in my face in an instant. "I give a fuck. You think I wanna fuckin sit there, and watch that shit? See his hands on you. Hear him make you laugh?" he says his voice rough and a muscle ticking in his jaw

I blink, "You're-." I start, but he just continues talking over me.

"All Tig's comments, him grabbing you." Hap shakes his head. "I had to fight not to rip his arm off and choke the bastard with it." He says his voice deadly serious

"You're jealous?" I ask disbelieving

"This isn't fuckin good." He says waving a hand between the two of us, before pacing again, breathing heavily and mumbling to himself, ignoring me. I don't hear what he's saying for a few minutes, but then his voice gets louder. "Not good. Maybe I should just go nomad since I wanna kill most of my brothers. I could call Quinn-."

I don't think and grab his arm to stop him. Hap whirls around, throws my arm off his, and glares straight into my eyes. "Nothing is going on with me and any of the guys." I say honestly, while looking calmly into his glare

Happy narrows his eyes. "This isn't about you. Can't I have one thing that's not about you?" he growls

I cock my head, "What's that supposed to mean?" I ask confused

"I'm callin and going nomad tomorrow, it doesn't have shit to do with you." He explains, like I'm dumb

I shake my head. "Like hell it doesn't. You wanna leave because you're jealous."

Hap raises his eyebrows, "Jealous? I mean, jealous really? Fuckin jealous?" he says sounding like he's lost his mind before laughing darkly

I ignore his craziness. "I'm not interested in any of those guys. Juice is just my friend, I don't want him. And Tig? Well there's no way anything would _ever_ happen there. Fuckin gross." I say and physically shake the thought off.

Hap's looking at me with his head cocked, studying my face.

I take a deep breath "Please, don't go nomad because of me." I say softly

Happy steps in close to me. "It's all about you, isn't it? I try, fuck do I try, to stay away from you. I'm such a prick but you still keep coming back at me. The fuck is wrong with you? You play with me, riding me." He says pointing toward the kitchen. "Then talking dirty to me, and twenty minutes later you're a crazy bitch."

"Why are you trying to stay away from me?" I ask because it doesn't make sense

Happy leans down so our faces are so close our breath mingles, and touches my cheek softly with his fingers. "Because it's dangerous." He says looking at my lips

"What…?" I trail off as he puts his thumb on my lips

Hap's brown eyes meet my blue ones. "Why are you doin this?" he asks rubbing his thumb on my lips. My tongue slips out and licks around his thumb. Happy pulls away roughly and starts pacing again.

He points at me, without looking up from the floor as he rubs his hand over his scalp. "It's shit like that, shit I don't see coming. I see everything fuckin comin. You're a blind spot, unpredictable, I didn't see you comin." Hap rambles

I cock my head while listening and watching him.

"It's not enough that we fucked more than once. Or that I fuckin slept next to you. Now I'm fuckin jealous because of you. Everywhere I go, every-fuckin-where, you follow me, and other girls don't even help. I can't get you outta my fuckin head." Happy says disbelievingly with a rough growl

I gasp as his words hit me. Hap whirls around and freezes when he sees me, like he forgot I was there. He's breathing heavy and staring at me. I stand there surprised and speechless.

"Fuck." Hap growls before turning away, and walking out of the house.

I just watch him go, unable to move in my astonishment. I hear his bike start up, and ride away. I shake my head, walk to the door and lock it, before leaning my forehead against the wood.

"He wants me." I say with a big smile on my face.

**A/N- So what do ya think? Review and let me know, please!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N- I always gotta shout out my girl Lauren (Bad Company) for reading through my stuff and listening to my rambled ideas, most of which i don't explain well, but she always helps me sort through what i wanna say and how i wanna say it. So Big LOVE to her, because I'd be lost without her.**

**HUGE NO LOVE shout out to Night Quill- You honestly suck and don't work for shit! And as for cold medicine as a whole- that kinda sucks to since it didn't help take my cough and runny nose away, just made me feel stoned. Which is fine, except when trying to write a story! **

**OK- so the link for pictures is up on my profile, but i suggest waiting until you're done reading the chap before taking a look! You don't have to but you might wanna.**

**I own nothing you recognize, that belongs to the Insanely talented Kurt Sutter...  
**

***~* Chapter 16*~***

The next morning was difficult for me, because despite being so tired last night, I couldn't sleep. I had wanted to follow Happy back to the clubhouse, but I told myself that I'd see him in the morning and it'd be good to let him relax a bit first. But I had tossed and turned, searching for sleep without success. I kept hearing his words ringing in my ears, so I finally decided to think about everything. I came to the conclusion that I really needed to talk to him.

So here I sit now, at my desk in the office at TM, exhausted since I didn't sleep last night, and anxious because I haven't seen Hap yet. I keep glancing out the window that looks into the shop just waiting for him.

"Hey Mac, you know…" Chibs says as he comes through the door. "Jesus Christ, what happened to ya?" he asks rushing over to me and touching my face.

"I couldn't sleep last night." I say with a wave of my hand.

He narrows his eyes, "What happened? When you left last night ye were fine." He asks dropping his hand from my face.

"I'm fine now too." I say when he keeps looking at me concerned

Chibs cocks his head and studies me. "What happened?" he asks again

I bite my lip, "Well Happy-."

Chibs runs his hand through his hair. "I'll kill the bastard." He spits suddenly, cutting me off, his accent very thick, and turns to leave.

I stand up, and grab his arm, pulling him back to face me. "Calm down, don't go all Scottish street brawler on me."

His eyebrows meet his hairline. "I'm not gonna let him be shitty to ya, Darlin'." He points out

I sigh, "I know, and he wasn't. We talked. Well he talked mostly, but he didn't do anything to me."

"Then why didn't ya sleep?" he asks suspiciously

I rub the back of my neck. "Well he talked, and then left. So I still got some things I wanna say to him. Wait, he's still here right?" I ask starting to worry

Chibs looks at me confused, "Aye, he's in the clubhouse."

I release the breath I had been holding. "Thank fuck." I say as I exhale, and walk around Chibs.

He grabs my arm this time; I jump and look at him questioningly, he drops my arm. "Ya can have this whole," he waves his hand around. "Whatever it is with Hap." He looks me in my eyes, very seriously. "But he hurts ya, in any way, and I'll hurt him." He finishes with his voice rough, and promising more than just hurt.

I give him a kiss on the cheek, right over a scar. "I appreciate that, but I don't want you guys fighting each other because of me." I say as I pull back

Chibs shakes his head. "It won't matter what ye want, Sweetheart. He hurts ya and there'll be no stoppin any of us. But he already knows that."

"What do you mean he knows that?" I ask sharply

Chibs clears his throat, "Well last night when ye were chattin with Tigger, I was talkin ta Hap."

I cock my eyebrow at him. "And by _talkin_, I assume you mean threatening."

Chibs raises both his brows at me. "Course." He says with a shrug. "Although I didn't have to threaten much since he already knew shite wouldn't be good if he hurt ya."

I smile, but quickly push the happy, Happy related thoughts from my head since I still have to talk to him.

"Ye could have any Son ya want, everyone always assumed it'd be Juice. Some thought maybe Koz, when he was here. But I gotta ask… why Hap?" Chibs asks curiously

I shrug as I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. "I… it's complicated." I say looking out the door towards the clubhouse, eager to talk to him.

Chibs nods with a sigh, "Go talk ta him already."

I smile and kiss his cheek again. "Ok thanks." I say starting for the door, but I turn back to look at him. "Didn't you want something when you came in here?"

"Aye, but I'll find it." He says, kissing my cheek before turning to the filing cabinet.

I shrug, "Ok, you need anything come find me." I see him nod, before walking out to find Hap.

When I step into the clubhouse I breathe a sigh of relief that it's so dark in here, that my tired eyes can get a break from the sun. I look around and see Tig sitting at the bar, but no one else is around. As I walk over to him, I see the chapel doors part way open, and can just make out Bobby sitting at the table.

"Hey Tig, you know where Happy is?" I ask, standing right behind him.

"Talkin to Bobby." Tig says tilting his head at the chapel.

I sigh, "Great, now Bobby's threatening him too."

"Could be, but they have some club shit to go over." Tig says as he turns around to face me. "Damn, you fuck Hap all night long or somethin?" he asks pointing at my face, and taking a drink of beer.

"I fuckin wish." I say with a little pout

Tig does a spit take, and beer shoots out all over the bar, thankfully not on me. He shakes his head, "What'd you just say?"

"I wish it was Happy fucking me that kept me up all night. Although I doubt I'd be able to walk if that were the case." I say very seriously, holding back my smile. "Damn, what that man can do with his dick." I say wistfully.

"I can't believe you just said that shit." Tig says with astonishment, shaking his head. I can't hold it in anymore, and bust out laughing.

"Can't believe she said what shit?" Bobby asks from behind us. I look over my shoulder to find him and Happy standing there watching me and Tig.

"Mac said..." Tig starts but trails off and looks at me, still surprised.

I smirk at Tig, before turning to Bobby and Happy. "Tig just can't handle the truth." I say with a shrug. "Hap I gotta talk to you."

Tig scoffs, "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be _talkin_."

Happy cocks his head at Tig, before looking at me. "I'm busy." He says his face and voice blank of emotion, before walking away.

I narrow my eyes at his back, before following him down the hallway, and into the bathroom. "I need to talk to you." I say as I shut the bathroom door, and stand in front of it, blocking us in together.

Hap looks at me over his shoulder. "It can wait."

I roll my eyes. "You got to say what you wanted, or didn't want to, last night. But I didn't get that chance."

"I'm takin a leak, it can wait." He says dismissively, while turning his head away from me

I scoff at him, "It could, but you're gonna avoid me. And I'm good with now."

Happy turns and glares at me after flushing the toilet and walks over to wash his hands. He turns to face me while drying his hands, and cocks his head. "You know I can move you from that door easily."

I shrug, "Go ahead. Why should you be the only one that can stalk someone?"

Hap narrows his eyes at me, and waves his hand out silently telling me to talk.

I take a deep breath. "You don't know me, but I'm not a crazy bitch." I pause and run a hand through my hair. "Well I am a crazy bitch, but not like psycho crazy or some shit." I shake my head and look up at him. "The point is that we don't really know each other, we started off good, but we just got our wires crossed."

"No shit." Happy says. "Is that Juice's shirt?" he asks with narrowed eyes

I look down confused. "No, it's my shirt."

"It's a guy's shirt." He points out

I point at the white SAMCRO lettering, across my chest, on my black shirt. "It is, but I stole it from Jax, a while back."

Hap looks confused. "Why would you steal his shirt?"

I smile, "Because I didn't have my own SAMCRO shirts. And annoying my big brother is just fun." I say with a smirk.

Happy nods but doesn't say anything.

I sigh, "Ok the whole Juice thing-."

Hap growls and narrows his eyes at me.

"I could easily be with Juice if I wanted. But I don't want him, I -."

"But you kissed him." He points out, his voice rough

I shake my head, "Juice kissed me." Hap growls again. "We're just friends and it just happened. I was trying to kiss his cheek and he moved his head… that's not the point." I say shaking my head again.

"You can't say you're just friends, it wasn't an accident that he kissed you." He accuses

"No, it wasn't. But-."

"I fuckin knew it." Hap spits, pointing at me

I shake my head. "_But_, it was in the moment on _his_ part. On my part, it was so awkward and felt wrong."

Happy cocks his head. "You flirt with him, without any problem."

I take a deep breath, "Hap, Juice is fun to hang with, and he cracks me up. But just because I flirt with him doesn't mean anything." I look in his eyes, so he can see how honest I'm being. "I don't think of Juice as anything but a friend, I don't want him."

Hap searches my face for a few minutes before giving me a slow, single nod.

I nod back at him, "I did a lot of thinking last night after you left, and I wanna clear some stuff up. First, we don't know much about each other. So it was wrong of me to assume shit about why you were acting the way you were. I know I was crazy, but you hurt me."

He raises an eyebrow in question at me.

"When you left..." I shake my head. "Last night you said you're trying to stay away from me. Now I don't know why exactly," I hold my hand up. "And I'm not asking you to tell me. But I didn't know that before. I thought you just fucked me and then acted like you were interested and left, to play some sort of mind game with me."

Hap cocks his head.

"You gotta understand where I was coming from. I mean, There I was, breaking my rules for you, and you were just messing with me. I went against everything I promised I wouldn't do, you even got into it with Koz because of me. I felt like shit for that, even though Koz was doing it all on purpose." I say shaking my head

"I wasn't playin some game with you." He says

I nod, "I get that _now_, but then? It felt like you were, so I jumped to conclusions and acted like an extreme bitch. I'm sorry about that, I truly am, but I honestly thought it was all a joke to you, and I take things associated with the club seriously."

"And you think I don't?" Happy asks angrily

I shake my head. "No, no Hap, I didn't mean it that way. I know you do. Shit, none of this is coming out right; maybe if I could've slept it would have helped. Let me explain, just stick with me..."

Hap looks curious, so I take that as a good sign and continue.

I take a deep breath, "Ok, I grew up here with all these guys around. I've seen a bunch of shit, ya know? Women can make a lot of trouble in an MC, I've seen it happen and I hated those chicks." I shake my head. "So I knew, just fuckin _knew_, that I'd never do some shit like that. That I'd always put the club first. And I always have, until I met you."

Happy raises his eyebrows, "I never asked for that."

"I know, and you didn't have to ask because I didn't have a chance. You snuck up on me, all badass sexy, and demanded to know what I was doin in the clubhouse, because you were trying to protect your brothers. Any other guy would have been tryin to get me to fuck him, but not you, you were about the club. And that means a lot."

"That made you put me first?" he asks disbelieving

I shake my head. "Not necessarily, it showed me your character though. There's…. There's something about you that makes me wanna trust you with everything, and I have to keep pulling myself back in. You don't know me, so I don't expect you to get how huge that is for me, or for you to trust me when I say that, but there's something in me that wants to hand over the reigns to you."

"What?" Hap asks confused

I bite my lip, squeeze my eyes shut and take a few deep breaths before opening them and meeting Happy's eyes. "I want you, ok? Plain and simple, _I_ want you. No one else, just _you_." I admit.

Happy just keeps staring at me, and I can't tell what he's thinking, so it's making me nervous.

"Almost all the guys know about us hooking up, since you weren't to subtle yesterday. Juice, Jax, and my Dad don't know, well or Opie since he wasn't there. And I'm not sure about Piney. But I don't care about them knowing, I truly don't. It's just my Dad and Jax that I worry about finding out, because I don't want anything bad to happen to you, period, but something happening to you because of me? Definitely fuckin not. And I know Chibs threatened you, but he's my uncle so he's just trying to protect me. I don't know if anyone else threatened you, but I can promise you that it's on a Uncle-type level of love, not any other kind." I say all this in one huge rambled mess with barely any breaks for breath.

Happy shakes his head. "I'm not any good for you."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't say shit like that, when you don't know enough to know what's good or bad for me."

Hap narrows his eyes back at me. "You keep sayin we don't know each other, and we don't. So how you know you want me?"

"Because no matter how pissed off I am at you, or how much I wanna hit you, I still want to be_ near _you. You can't get me outta your head, can't stop thinking about me? Well you're not the only one! You think I enjoy lying to my family? I don't but I wanna protect you." I shake my head and take a deep breath, while holding my hand up. "And I know you can take care of yourself, that's not what I'm saying, I just want to protect you because I _want _to."

Happy's studying me again, with his head cocked and his eyes narrowed.

"So the point of all this is, that I like you, and you like me, we click, there's a spark here." I say with a smirk, and motion between the two of us.

"I'm not asking for some huge declaration or anything, I just want you to pick something and stick with it. You wanna just be fuck buddies? Cool, just let me know. You wanna ignore me and act like I don't exist? Fine. You wanna see where this thing could go? A'ight. You know where I stand, so now it's your turn to make a move." I say and turn to open the door.

I stop with my hand on the knob and turn back. "Oh, and about my offering to help with your mom…" I trail off

Happy was watching me with a confused and thoughtful expression on his face, but at the mention of his mom his whole body tensed.

I sigh and tuck some hair behind my ear. "I get that it's a sore subject, and I'm not offering to help because I think you take shitty care of her or anything. And I'm not offering because you're a Son, and this is just some clubly duty type of thing for me. Or because you have a ton of stuff going on right now, although I wanna help you, don't get me wrong." I say strongly but softly

"Then why are you offerin?" he asks curiously

I look at the ceiling and take a deep breath, before meeting his eyes. "I know how tough it is to see your mom hurting. To think about the woman who gave birth and took care of you, in pain. It's…" I trail off and walk up to Hap, and put my hand on his arm. "It's a tough situation that people think they can imagine, and that they think they can handle. But…" I trail off again, this time feeling tears in my eyes and looking down.

Hap lifts my chin, so I can meet his eyes. "But…?"

"But it's harder than it seems. Because we put our parents in that 'can't be touched, can't be hurt' category in our minds, even if we don't realize it. So when something happens, and we're faced with the truth, that no one's untouchable..." I shake my head as I feel tears stream down my cheeks. "It's just hard. You wanna be alone, because that's your mom and no one else gets exactly what it's like for you. Yet you don't wanna be alone, because being alone makes you feel that absence and pain that much more."

I stop talking as Happy wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"Just… Just if you need someone, you can come to me, and I'll be there. Even if you decide that you want nothing to do with me otherwise." I say

Happy looks shocked that I said I'd be there for him, so I get up on my tippy toes, and kiss his cheek. I don't pull away quickly; I linger for a minute, before pulling back. "I promise I'll be there." I say and turn away from him, before walking out the door, leaving him speechless.

**-BIA-**

After making it back to my desk without running into any of the guys, I breathe a sigh of relief. If they would have seen the tears that still are lingering my eyes it wouldn't have been good. Here I just poured my heart out to Hap, and then they would have threatened him, or worse.

I pick up an invoice, only to put it back down when I look at the information, and it blends together. I put my head down on my arms, on top of my desk and relax. I feel pretty good, I mean Happy could tell me to fuck off, but it's a chance I have to take, so that the mind games and misunderstandings will stop.

Sometime later, as I'm being chased by human sized numbers, a loud voice disturbs me.

"Come on Pip, wake the fuck up." Tig says

I groan something unintelligible at him, not appreciating being interrupted from my nap and weird dream. I feel my chair move back, and then feel an arm around my waist.

"Just a word of advice," Tig says, his voice close. "Sex in a bathroom is for quickies. If you're gonna fuck in there, be more logical with your time, so people don't get suspicious." He say picking me up completely

"We weren't" I mumble, weakly.

"Sure ya weren't. Work with me here, put your arm around my neck." He says adjusting my body in his arms.

I don't move, as human sized number start to close in on me, then I feel my body swing around and I land on something solid and groan. I hear voices that I recognize as my dream tries to pull me under.

"Tig, why the fuck ya carryin Mac like that?" Chibs asks

"You try carryin her lately? She's fuckin heavy." Tig says

"Why ya carryin her at all?" Chibs asks his voice closer this time.

Tig sighs, "She was asleep on her desk, so I'm takin her to the clubhouse."

I feel a hand on my back and jump, "Relax darlin, it's just me." Chibs says. "Hand her over, I'll carry her."

I groan as I'm flipped and swung around, before landing on something else solid.

"Better not have drooled on my cut." Tig says "Hap's an asshole."

"Aye, he is. Fuck what Clay'll do to him when he finds out. I'm gonna beat his ass." Chibs says roughly

"I'm not sure it's all on Hap though." Tig says

"She hasn't been sleepin good for weeks Tig, but it got worse when Happy got here." Chibs says, as my body's jostled.

"After everything with Abel, and lets not forget Koz kissin her. That's enough to give anyone sleepin issues." Tig says disgustedly, as I hear a door squeak.

"Aye, I'll give ye that. But don't rule out Hap in any of this." Chibs says

"Yo Hap!" Tig yells. "C'mere a second."

"What happened to her?" Hap asks as I feel a slightly rough texture, glide across my cheek softly. I turn my head towards the touch and voice. He sounds concerned but I can't be sure if my brain's playing tricks on me or not.

"Ye happened to her, ya dumbass. Don't wake her up." Chibs spits, as the caress disappears

"The fuck you talkin bout?" Hap asks roughly

"I'm talk-." Chibs says

"Take Mac down to a dorm room so she can sleep." Tig says "You keep fuckin with her, and shit's gonna get rough for you man." He says His words a warning, a threat, and advice.

As Tig talks, his voice is getting farther and farther away.

"I won't be fuckin with her much longer, I'm callin Quinn..." I hear Happy say.

I can still hear his voice, but I can't hear his words as I'm too far away. I struggle weakly in Chibs' arms, but there's no point as sleep has me in a headlock.

"Sleep Sweetheart." Chibs says, as I feel something soft at my back. Before feeling something soft on my forehead, as I pass out completely.

**-BIA-**

When I woke up, I was in a shit-taculiar mood, because my Dad woke me up by yelling at me. He had a fucking fit because 'I wasn't taking care of myself'; he ranted and raved for a while, before telling me that I wasn't working today. And if I tried to, he'd forcibly remove me.

I had huffed at him, but hadn't fought back. I felt like I didn't sleep at all, and I was worried. Because I remember Hap clearly saying that he was calling Quinn. So when I forced myself out of bed, I looked around for him. When I didn't find him I asked a couple guys if they'd seen him, but they hadn't.

It wasn't until I asked Tig, that I found out where Hap was. Well not so much found out where he was, but found out he wasn't here, and hadn't been here since after he talked to Tig, and called Quinn, yesterday. As my worry quickly turned into depression, I hurried up and left the clubhouse, grabbing a fresh bottle of Jack, from the bar, on my way out.

The whole drive to my house, I just kept thinking that he left me without saying anything again. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't want anything to do with me, but I didn't think he'd go nomad, I really didn't. Because if he didn't want me, then I would be hurt, sure, but I would back off, and give him space. I just didn't think he'd leave.

After taking a bath, and wondering what I was supposed to do since I have nothing to do, since laundry and cleaning is all caught up, and I'm not really good company at the moment, I decided to go see Abel.

I spent the day reading and talking to him, by myself, since Gemma was filling in at the garage. I told him how loved he is, and how much fun we'll have when he gets out of here. I told him stories about Jax, the clean good ones like when he was younger. I told him all about the guys, and what it's like when your Dad's SAMCRO, explaining what MC life is like.

Some time around six pm, I left and headed home. I didn't want to leave the little guy, but the doctors said he needed peaceful sleep. I wanted to bitch and complain to them that I wasn't annoying my nephew, but I held it in knowing that I'd be making a huge scene and I'd probably get banned from seeing him. I knew what I was really angry about, it was the fact that I had to go home, and be alone. I knew damn well that I wouldn't be able to push Hap out of my head if I'm alone.

I grabbed the bottle of Jack off my kitchen counter with a wince at the memory of what happened there, and headed upstairs. I spent the whole night listening to music, drinking, and trying to avoid how horrible I felt. Because Happy really didn't need to be a nomad right now, he should have some place stable to call home or at least rest. The thought of him out there alone, preoccupied with everything that's going on with Rose, scares the shit out of me. Hell, to be honest, the thought of him out there, period, scares the shit out of me.

**-BIA-**

As I'm sleeping I roll over, only to fall with a gasp. I groan and open my eyes, to see the floor beneath me. I sit up and wince when I see that I'm running late for work. When I stand up I stub my toe on the half empty bottle of Jack, and curse.

"Good fuckin' Mornin." I mumble as I hobble into the bathroom.

The shower relaxes my muscles, but not my mind. While drying off I decide to talk to my Dad, and get him to stop Hap from going nomad. It's a long shot since Happy isn't the type of guy anyone can control, but maybe my Dad can talk some sense into him. Because even if I have to beg and fucking plead, no matter what, I'm not going to just let Hap endanger himself, because he can't stand me.

I get dressed in a pair of blue denim shorts, and a gray shirt that has a bunch of sneakers with purple, pink and blue on it, and then pull on a pair of light blue flats with little white doodles on them. I head down stairs and despite my stomach churning with worry; I force myself to eat some breakfast, before leaving for work.

As I'm standing in the garage and unlocking the driver's door, I see a pink bag in the passenger seat. I open the door cautiously, as if something in the bag is going to jump out and bite me, before slowly sitting in the driver's seat. I leave the door open as I stare at the bag, with my head cocked.

I slowly reach my hand out and grab the handles, before pulling the bag closer to me. I figure with the way the last few days and my morning have gone, it's not unlikely to be something bad. I pull down one side of the bag and peer inside. I smile at the sight that greets me, before pulling the items out and biting my lip.

In my hands is a blue lace bra and panties set, identical to the one's Happy ripped. My first instinct is to laugh, because he didn't have to replace these and I told him as much, but I quickly frown. It could be that he's telling me that it's like he was never here, and he's replacing what he ripped. As I switch back and forth trying to figure out what this means, I notice a little box in the bottom of the bag. I carefully pull it out, and put the bra and panties back inside.

I regard the box warily, it could be anything, and mean anything. It's just a plain black box, no lettering or indication of what could be inside, but it feels like everything hangs in the balance with this box being important. I slowly lift the lid, only to jump when my cell phone goes off.

"Yeah?" I answer the phone, after digging around in my bag for it without letting go of the box.

"Hey Mac? It's Kip."

"Oh hey Kip, what's up?" I ask confused

"I umm… I'm just calling to see if you're comin in today?" he asks hesitantly

"Why wouldn't I be comin in?" I ask not really paying attention to him, but watching the black box in my hand.

"Well I know Clay gave you yesterday off. But I wasn't sure about today, since you're late, and you're never late…." He trails off and I hear an odd noise muffled in the background. "Not that I take notice of what you do, or anything." He says quickly

"Ok? Is there a reason why you're wondering if I'm working?" I ask as the phone takes up all my attention.

"Well, Tig's in a rush to go somewhere, and he said you were going with him. Said you have an old standing date or someth-…. Damn why you gotta hit me? Shit sorry, sorry!" Kip pleads

I frown at the phone, "Look tell Tig to stop hittin you and that I said not to get his panties in a bunch. I'm leaving now, so I'll be there soon. Ok?"

"It's not Tig that's hittin-… FUCK!" Kip hisses

I don't hear anything else, so I look at my phone and sure enough he hung up on me. I shake my head, because they're always so mean to the Prospects and sometimes it's just uncalled for, like now. With a sigh I put the black box in my purse before taking the pink bag into the house and leaving it on the counter, and then locking up all over again.

As I back out of my garage and down the drive way, a bunch of questions hit me. How did Hap get into my locked garage? And into my locked car? Was he replacing the panties because he said he would? Or was he replacing them so it'd be like he never was there to rip them? What's in the box? Will I see Happy again? How soon? Does he seriously, fucking hate me? What's in the goddamn box? I bite my lip and glance down at my purse.

It literally could be anything. I may not know much about Happy, but I've heard things, all them while he wasn't around because everyone seems to have a deep seated respect for him, and a bit of fear, although they'd deny it. I've heard him called 'Killah' to his face multiple times by different guys, but mostly by Tig and Koz, and if two guys who's job it is, is to hand out punishment in the physical variety call you Killah, you must have earned it.

I know the strong and powerful vibe Hap gives off, how when his tone of voice changes people take notice, and tend to stay clear. Hell even if he's just blank faced and not saying anything, a lot of people stay clear. None of that shit scares me though. I've had Happy in my face growling, and pissed, yet I wasn't scared, I didn't back down. No, what did I do? I matched him growl for growl and let him know I felt.

_Maybe that's why he wants nothing to do with me?_ I think to myself, before shaking my head. _No, I don't know that. Don't jump to conclusions again._ I nod at myself, before frowning. I have no way of knowing how the bag of goodies is to be taken. That's when it hits me all over again; Hap called Quinn.

So the panties and bra, and whatever's in the box must be goodbye gifts. He's made his choice, and I said I'd be fine with whatever he choose. It doesn't matter what I thought, or didn't think would happen, I gave options and he picked one. It doesn't mean I feel ok, or good about the choice, just that I have to live with it.

I feel my lip tremble, but quickly bite it to make it stop. It doesn't stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks and splattering onto my shirt though. I take deep breaths to get myself under control, as I pull into the TM lot.

After parking, I put my head on the steering wheel and sigh. _Go to work, see what Tig's problem is, and cry later at home with the half bottle of Jack. _Well if that isn't the best pep talk a girl can ask for, I don't know what is. I shake my head at myself before getting out of the car, and heading to the office. _Maybe if I lock myself in, no one will bother me._ I would laugh at myself, if I wasn't feeling so utterly stupid.

As I'm a few feet from the garage, I completely freeze. Standing there with his head under the roof of a red car is Happy. I run a hand threw my hair, and bite my lip as I try to decide what I should do. I want to smack him, because we could have at least had sex a few more times with no strings attached. I want to hug him because he could be leaving me and going nomad, so he's not disrespecting my Dad or the club. _Fuck it_, I think before walking over to him.

He doesn't see me, so I lean against the huge standing tool box, and watch him for a minute. Staring at him makes me uncomfortably wistful, like I want him but I can never have him because he doesn't want me, and who wants someone who doesn't want them.

"Hey Hap." I say like my heart isn't broken

He doesn't move his head, just glances up at me quickly with his eyes, "Hey." His voice tells me nothing and I grit my teeth.

"So, how was your morning?" I ask as if it's just idle chit chat.

Hap shrugs, "Just another mornin." He says glancing up at me again, before frowning

_He's frowning, so he probably thinks I'm insane and stalking him after he didn't choose to be with me_. I think to myself. _He could be frowning because he hates mornings._ I counter, before shaking my head at myself.

"Mine was a little odd." I tell him, to see his reaction

Happy grunts but doesn't really say anything. He seems a little tense, but I can't be sure, so I shrug and figure I'll just keep going.

"I fell outta bed this morning."

No reaction from him.

"Then I stubbed my toe."

Nothing.

"I got shampoo in my eyes."

I think he's listening but I have no clue, so I walk up next to him and peer under the hood too.

"But then the strangest thing happened…" I trail off as Hap tenses, and I'm sure of it this time.

"What?" Hap asks, but doesn't sound like he cares as he keeps focused under the hood.

"Hmm?" I ask faking interest in car's guts

"What was strange?" Happy asks

"Strange? Oh… my morning was a strange one." I say as I point at the air filter. "So damn dirty." I say

Hap grunts, "Why?"

I shake my head. "I don't know why people don't take better care of their cars." I say just to see if he actually cares about my morning

"Why was your mornin strange?" he asks roughly

I bite my lip to hold my smile back. "Because I kept having all this bad luck, and then I go out to my car, only to find that someone broke into it and my garage." I say with a pout

Happy turns and looks at me with both eyebrows raised.

"What made it strange is that they left something behind." I say casually, still peering under the hood.

Hap grunts and turns back to focusing on the car.

I narrow my eyes and step back, before leaning my hip against the headlight watching him. "There was an empty pink bag laying on my garage floor." I lie

"Shit!" Happy hisses as oil squirts out from under the hood and gets all over his shirt. He shrugs off his borrowed TM workshirt that says mechanic instead of his name, before pulling his wifebeater off and throwing them aside.

I was going to apologize for distracting him, but don't bother since I don't feel sorry when he pulls his shirts off. I feel a moan on my lips as I admire his chiseled chest and abs, but quickly bite my lip.

Hap looks at me, "Empty pink bag…?" he questions

I don't move my eyes from his body. "Hmmm… it wasn't empty." I say completely distracted.

After a minute of silence, I realize that I messed up and blew my cover. I glance up at Hap, and he's looking at my chest with his brows furrowed. "Why you lookin at my boobs like that?"

"Why aren't you wearin it?" he asks without looking up

I cock my head, "Well I was running late, and I wasn't gonna change my bra and panties in the car."

Hap looks up at me, his face blank. "What was in the bag?"

"The blue bra and panties, like you ripped before. Oh and a black box tha-."

"I thought you didn't wanna play fuckin games." He growls before focusing back under the hood

"I don't, what are you talking about?" I ask genuinely confused

"I'm talkin about you tellin me to pick somethin and then actin like I didn't." Happy says roughly without looking at me.

I frown, "I'm not sure what you picked."

"It should be fuckin obvious." Hap says angrily

"How can I be sure? Replacing a set of bra and panties could be taken a couple different ways. Maybe your sayin 'sorry I ripped 'em, here's another set like I said I give you.' Or you could be sayin 'Here's another pair, act like it never happened.' I mean really, how am I supposed to know?" I say stepping back from the car.

Happy looks up at me and cocks his head. "Anything else in that bag?"

"Well yeah, a black box that I didn't open." I say touching my purse

He narrows his eyes, "Why didn't you open it?"

"I was about to, but Kip called and someone was hittin… You were hittin him?" I ask when I see Hap's hand clench into a fist

"He was just supposed to do one fuckin thing, and he got all chatty." He says shaking his head. "Open the damn box." He says roughly

I stare at him wondering why he's so aggressive about me seeing whatever's in the box, before pulling it out of my purse. After sitting my purse on the ground, and just before lifting the lid, I glance at Happy again. His whole body is tense, but his face blank. "If you're gonna be all weird about it, I don't have to-."

"Just open the fuckin box." He growls

I shake my head at him, "Why so grouchy…"I ask but trail off as I take the lid off the box and see what's inside. I blink and look up at Hap questioningly, before looking back down. I feel tears in my eyes, but don't bother to try and hide them. _He really fuckin picked_, I think to myself.

I hear something slam shut and jump, clutching the box to my chest. "You gonna put it on?" Happy asks, as I see him with both his palms flat on top of the now closed roof of the car.

I cock my head at him. "You goin nomad?"

Happy shakes his head, and walks over to stand in front of me. "You g-."

"But you called Quinn." I point out, cutting him off

He sighs, "Yeah."

"So then you _are_ goin nomad. Why would you give me this, if you're leaving?" I ask as I still clutch the box to my body

"I'm not leavin'." Hap says quietly

I cock my head and meet his eyes, "Then why would you call Quinn?" I ask, not wanting to get my hopes up if he's messing with me

Happy runs a hand over his bald head, "'Cause I had to tell him I was stayin."

"Staying where?" I know I'm being stupid, but I'm pretty sure I'm in shock.

"Here in Charming." He says and I can tell he's trying not to yell at me.

"Why would you-."

Hap looks my body up and down, "Because I like it here." he says cutting me off. "You gonna put that on?" he asks tilting his head at the box

"Huh? You're really gonna stay? Like stay here?" I ask waving my free hand around.

He nods, "You gonna put that on?" he asks again, roughly this time.

I ignore him. "So let me see if I got this straight… You called Quinn to tell him you weren't going nomad. Then disappeared for like a day and a half, to hit up a mall I assume, since you couldn't have got the stuff in the bag from here. And then at some point you broke into my garage and car, to leave me presents to tell me you're staying?"

"Yes." Hap growls

"So you replacing the panties, was just you keeping your word, not you trying to act like it didn't happen?"

Happy grabs the box from my hand, before spinning me around so my back's to his bare chest. "The fuck would I wanna act like that shit didn't happen?"

"Well you put your hand over my mouth so no one could hear me. Maybe you were embarrassed or…" I trail off as I feel his fingers on my neck, sweeping my hair to the side

"I covered your mouth, because I couldn't hear over your moanin." He whispers in my ear, making me shiver, before pulling back and spinning me around. Hap looks me over then nods his approval.

I reach my hand up and run my fingers over the silver revolver charm and matching silver necklace with little pink pearls. "And you bought me jewelry?" I ask as I realize what this means

Hap nods but scowls, "If you don't like it-."

"I fuckin love it!" I exclaim as I jump at him. I kiss his cheek as he easily catches me, before wrapping my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. I hug him as he holds me tightly to him.

"Yeah?" he asks in my ear, sounding uncertain

"Fuck yeah." I say before pulling back to look at him. "But just for the record, you didn't have to buy me anything; you could have just walked up and said you were stayin. Or if you wanted to buy me something you could have gotten me something simple as a nice gesture, like a bottle of soda or something. A necklace, I mean seriously this is awesome and so sweet." I say smiling at him

"A bottle of soda?" Hap asks confused

I roll my eyes at him, "Yeah, well you know, just something that said you didn't hate me and we're on friendly terms. But jewelry means more than friends, you know that right?"

Happy nods, "I can't promise anything though, so don't get your hopes up."

I nod back at him. "I only ask one thing… no wait two things."

He narrows his eyes at me, as he sits me down. "What?"

I look down to see that he sat me on top of the red car, and cross my legs, blocking him from being to close before looking up at him. He looks wary and almost has a pout on his lips. I bite my lip to keep from laughing at him, as he puts his hand on my bare knee.

"What are the two things?" he asks quietly, rubbing my leg

"I'm not dumb, I know shit happens, and what happens on a run stays on a run." Hap nods that he understands so I continue. "So one, I don't want that shit coming back in my face."

"I'd kill the bitch myself. Two…?" he says hooking his hand under my knee and tugging slightly

I keep my legs tightly crossed, with a smile, acting as if I don't notice what he wants. "_You_ won't need to, Honey. Two," I pause to take a deep breath, unsure of how he'll take this. "Two, your tongue…" I trail off as Hap furrows his brows at me, so I smirk at him. "Your tongue is exclusively mine. No -."

I'm cut off when Happy pushes his body against my legs and leans in to my face. "My tongue…" he trails off and licks across my cheek to my ear. "Only wants your pussy." He whispers in my ear.

I whimper and open my legs a little bit, but not enough for him to get between them. "No kis-."

I'm cut off this time by Hap pulling back and kissing me. My legs part fully at the same time my lips do, and he doesn't hesitate to press himself fully against me, as our tongues meet. Happy grabs my hips to pull me closer and I wrap my arms around his shoulders to help keep us tightly together.

Hap pops the button on my shorts before pulling back. "The fuck can't you ever wear a skirt when it's helpful?" he says mostly out of breath

"I'll remember…." I trail off and moan as Happy works his hand into my shorts. "I'll, ummm…fuck Hap... future reference….So fuckin good." I mumble incoherently as Hap pushes two fingers into me

He chuckles lightly, before kissing me and pushing me back farther. I easily lay back, but pull him with me when he tries to stay standing up. Hap pulls his fingers out of me, and pushes my shirt up a little bit. He doesn't get far because I wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him tighter to me, while grinding on him. Happy stops trying to do whatever he was going to, probably to get me naked, and just focuses on kissing me.

I feel totally, well fucking happy. Not only is he staying here, but he wants me. I'm not his Old Lady, because that isn't something you just jump into, it takes time. But he wants something with me; he wants to try this whole thing out. And who wouldn't be happy? I have a smoking hot, badass tattooed biker, _my_ biker, making out with me, with his hands all over my body. Happy, isn't even the right word to describe how awesome I feel.

"In the fuckin garage?" I hear Tig say.

Hap doesn't give any indication that he heard him, but I tense right up and pull back. Happy just kisses and licks down my neck. I gasp as I open my eyes and look around; we're in the garage, on top of the car he was working on earlier, with Tig and Bobby as an audience. Tig looks amused and slightly pissed off, while Bobby is shaking his head and looking disgusted yet casually accepting.

"Umm… Hap?" I say breathlessly

"Hmm?" he asks into my collar bone, before biting down

"Fuck, Happy." I moan, arching my back and throwing my head back.

I hear a throat clear and snap my head back up. "Any other time, I'd be glad to stand here and watch you two dry hump like teenagers. But-." Tig says

Hap pulls his mouth off my throat and cuts him off. "We were interruptin your weekly hooker beating?"

I laugh and Tig glares at me, I glare back and flip him off, still laughing.

"I don't have time for either of you and your shit. Mac let's roll already." Tig says

Happy kisses my neck one last time before turning around to face the guys. "Roll where?" he asks Tig, as he sits between my legs facing them, with his arms over my legs.

I sit up, lean into him and wrap my arms around his neck. "Markin your territory, huh?" I whisper in his ear, letting the smile on my lips skim across his lobe.

Hap shrugs, as it occurs to me that he may not like public displays of affection, aside from him groping and or making it known that I'm off limits. I pull my arms back, but he pulls them back around his neck fully. I smile and kiss the side of his neck, as I lean into him fully again.

"Me and Mac have a tradition to continue, get your dick under control already, so we can go." Tig says sounding annoyed

I cock my head at Tig and study him. He seems anxious as well as annoyed, and pretty damn serious. "A tradition to continue? What the hell you talkin… Oh, no shit?" I ask excitedly

"Yeah, no shit." Tig says with a smirk, clearly glad I'm on the same page.

"Yeah, so can we get there already? Jax, Clay and Gemma are already there, and Tig won't calm the fuck down." Bobby says, then laughs when Tig scowls at him

"What about Chibs?" I ask them

"Nah, he's out on business." Bobby says, and I frown.

"Yeah so he's out and so is the prospect, but the retard's comin." Tig says with a shrug, before smirking at me and Happy. "You wanna come too Hap? Make sure he doesn't get to close?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Fuck off Tig." I say before turning my head into Hap's. "I'm not gonna flirt with Juice anymore, we're still friends but it's not right since I'm with you." I whisper.

Happy turns his head and nods. "What's the tradition?" he asks curiously

"Well when I was younger, we'd always go to Funtown. Tig's got this huge obsession with carnivals and fairs, so me and him usually run around the place enjoyin everything." I say smiling at him, but then frown. "He still owes me a trip to Disneyland." I say looking over at Tig, only to find him and Bobby gone.

"Tig's got a thing for amusement parks?" Hap asks and I look at him.

I nod, "Oh, yeah. He always acted more like a kid there than I did. But it's one of those things that's uniquely Tig." I say with a shrug, not knowing how to explain it.

Happy nods, "Tig's fuckin weird." He says shaking his head as he stands up and turns around to face me.

I laugh, "Hello, Captain Obvious. So you wanna come to Funtown? I'll share my cotton candy with you." I say wagging my eyebrows at him

Hap raises his eyebrows, "Actual cotton candy, or something sexual?" he asks with a smile

"Hmm…" I say and put my finger on my chin as if in thought. "Well it's sweet, addicting, pink, and no matter how full you are, there's always that urge to have a mouthful more… So cotton candy of course." I say with an innocent smile

Happy steps in close to me. "I'll go to Funtown, but _only_ for the cotton candy." He says pressing the palm of my hand firmly against my pussy through my shorts.

I gasp, "Hap! Such a dirty mind." I say shaking my head, but smiling, before pulling him in for another kiss.

"Jesus Christ! Break it the fuck up!" Tig yells at us a few minutes later

I pull back and laugh, as Happy turns and scowls at him. "Cock blockin asshole." He says to Tig and I laugh harder.

Tig scoffs, "Calm the fuck down, Killah. You'll get some later, since all she can talk about is your dick."

Happy turns and looks at me with raised eyebrows.

I clear my throat as I smooth my shirt down. "I may have mentioned something about how skilled you were." I say with a shrug, looking at him.

"Don't forget the other part." Tig says to me.

Hap smirks and cocks an eyebrow, "Other part?" he asks as he picks me up off the car hood, and sets me on my feet.

I bite my lip, "Mmm, and that if you were fuckin me all night, I wouldn't be able to walk." I say with a smile

Happy raises both eyebrows as he grabs my hip. "You really wanna go to Funtown?" he asks, his voice very deep and raspy, as he licks his lips

I shake my head, "Not reall-."

"Yes, she does. Stop tryin to sway her with dick promises." Tig says cutting me off.

Hap sighs, "A'ight, I'll go get a shirt." He says smacking me on the ass, and walking away.

"About fuckin time." Tig mumbles

I pout, "Why's he gotta wear a shirt."

Tig shrugs, "You might wanna zip up your shorts too." He says pointing at them

I furrow my brows before looking down. I'm in too good of a mood to feel awkward about this whole situation, so I laugh and bite my lip, as I zip and button myself back up. After I'm done I look up to see Tig watching me with his head cocked and eyes narrowed. "What?" I ask as I walk towards him.

"It's gonna take a while to get use to." He says, turning and walking with me out of the garage.

I look over at him. "Which part? Me touchin Hap, and him touchin me?" I ask

Tig shakes his head. "You talking about his dick. Seeing Happy openly touch you and shit, is just weird. The thought that little Pippi's fuckin him." He says slinging his arm around my shoulders. "All of it really."

"Why's it weird that Hap's openly touchin me?" I ask confused. "Oh you mean because he's not tryin to hide it from my Dad? I keep telling him that he won't be cool with it, but he says he can take care of himself."

Tig looks down at me as he shakes his head. "It's weird because he's a private guy with everything. When it comes to women, he doesn't show any signs of givin a shit about them; usually he'll just walk out the door with the chick following him. So seeing him all over you is just odd." he says with a shrug

I bite my lip and close my hand over the revolver charm on the necklace Hap gave me. I realize that he seems to be doing a lot of things he isn't use to. Like blurting out that he thinks about me all the time, he isn't the type of guy to have a sharing, caring heart to heart talk about feelings, and his reaction proved that. And buying me jewelry? That shocked the shit out of me. I smile and rub the little pendent between my fingers.

"What do ya got there?" Tig asks, squinting down at my hand as he leans against his bike, releasing me from under his arm.

"I…" I trail off unsure of how to explain it

"I'm ready for Funtown." Juice says walking over, and I sigh. "Hey Mac." He says putting his arm around me in a half hug.

"Hey Juice." I say and pat his hand before ducking out from under his arm and stepping a few feet away.

Juice frowns at me, clearly confused. Tig laughs and I glare at him.

"What's funny?" Bobby asks as he walks over from the clubhouse with Happy.

"Mac's being weird." Juice says pointing at me

"Tig's being a douche." I say at the same time, without pointing.

Hap scowls at Juice, but Juice doesn't notice since he's watching me, while Tig just keeps laughing, and I still glare at him

Bobby clears his throat. "So Mac, you drivin your car, or ridin-."

"She'll ride with me." Happy says cutting him off and pushing past Juice, getting on his bike, and holding out a helmet to me.

I smile at Hap, as I walk over and take the helmet before pulling it on. "Why so aggressive?" I ask as I stand in front of him, with my hand on his shoulder.

Happy sighs. "I believe you that nothin's going on. He's just always focused on you." He says roughly while looking at me.

I put my leg over the back of his bike but don't sit down, so I'm level with him, and lean in so our faces almost touch. "How about you store up that aggression and we can _focus_ on it later?" I say licking my lips, and since I'm so close to him, my tongue slides against his lips too.

Hap growls. "Keep that shit up and you won't be goin anywhere." He says roughly

I smirk and kiss his cheek, before sitting down. "Sounds good to me." I say as I wrap my arms around his waist.

"Mac, I mean it." He growls as he starts his bike.

I lean against him. "I mean it too." I say back

Happy doesn't say anything back, but I can feel the rumble in his chest, as he backs out of his spot, and tares down the lot toward Funtown.

**A/N- SO i'm at like 188 reviews right now so can we make it past 200? Let me know what you think about this chapter and what you like...**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N- Hello All! I know it's been forever, and I'm sorry! Family drama happened, and then some more drama on top of that. **

**I was blocked from this fic, so I started a new one, if you haven't checked it out, please do! I took a break from that early on because I needed to get this chap out.**

** So I pushed through, and got un-blocked, but this chapter is HUGE! So it took me a while. Add in that I have two other fics that are swirling around in my brain and won't stop talking to me, and the future events of BIA here were making me think and dwell on them. **

**My usual shout out to Lauren (Bad Company) has to be elevated. She literally has read every part of this chapter like 50 times, listened to and answered my rambling obsessive dumbass questions about it all, and some how found it within herself to encourage me to keep going!**

**It's really fucking awesome to me that we met over at TN, and I just needed a beta and someone willing to listen to me and all my bullshity ideas. But we have quickly become friends, who talk damn near every day, whether it's about music, random TV shows, making inside jokes, my fic, her fic, (CHECK OUT HER FICS IF YOU HAVEN'T!) or just life in general. Oooh and don't forget Sons Of Anarchy! **

**So this I say to Lauren; You are the_ fucking_ best! And that's putting it mildly! I seriously don't know where I'd be without you and your wonderful guidance, probably crying in a gutter somewhere rambling about Hap and his sexiness, and his cell phone, lol. But seriously, you truly are my soul mated SOA-Brownie obsessive, home girl, BFF! Luv ya Chica! You are totally the Christina to my Meredith! Fist pound for the dark and twisty!**

**Check out the link on my profile for pics related to this chapter. And yes, I changed my pen name on here, but it's still the same chick with the same dirty mind and mouth!**

**Ooooh and speaking of pictures… If anyone knows how to make a banner and is willing to help my lame ass out, PM me, and let me know!**

**Also, thanks to everyone who PMed me asking what was going on, and worrying about BIA as well as me.  
**

**I own nothing you recognize. Just Mac and a whole hell of a lot of personal drama and bullshit stress!**

**This chap has a bit of everything, and it's a long bitch.**

**So anyway, I'm back, feel free to rejoice! Cheers bitches!**

***~*Chapter 17*~***

As soon as we all pull into the parking lot at Funtown, Tig jumps off his bike and comes up to me and Happy. He looks really excited, but serious. I cock my head at him as Hap turns his bike off, while pulling my helmet off.

"Look, whatever you two had planned for today, cancel that shit," Tig says grabbing me by the arm and pulling me off Hap's bike.

"Goddamn it, Tig." I say when I trip over my own feet, pulling my arm out of his grasp as he tries dragging me with him to the gate. "My arm's attached to my body, asshole." I spit, wincing when I move my arm.

"What the fuck, man?" Hap asks Tig, as he comes up to us. "You good?" he asks me as he touches my shoulder.

I nod as Tig sighs and captures Happy's attention again.

"The fuck's the problem?" Hap asks him with a cocked eyebrow

Tig points up at the 'Funtown' sign while looking at the two of us. "This is Funtown, as in I'd like to have _fun_."

"We can read, and who said you couldn't have fun?" I ask

He scoffs. "If you two pull all that touchy feely dry humping making out bullshit here, then I'm gonna have to pull Clay and Jax off Hap. And as much as I love a good fight, I'd like for that fight to wait a bit. At least until _after _Funtown."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "You mean to tell me, I can't pull Hap behind a game tent and blow him?"

"I can't fuck her on the Ferris wheel?" Hap asks confused.

Happy and I look at each other, I smile and he smirks, before we both turn to Tig only to laugh when we see him grimacing.

Tig looks back and forth between the two of us before focusing on Hap and shaking his head. "Killah, c'mon man, just for the afternoon and then you can fuck her later."

Hap sighs and shrugs with a single slow nod.

I scoff at them both. "I have no say in this shit? Hmm?" I ask looking between the two of them.

"No, you just get to get fucked later, _without_ ruining my day." Tig says

I scoff again and fold my arms over my chest. "But you get to ruin _my_ day?" I ask cocking my head at him.

Tig frowns at me. "You don't get to be pissy with me at funtown."

I cock my eyebrow. "Oh no? Hmm well look at that," I say unfolding my arms and motioning to myself. "I'm pissy." I point at him. "With you."

Tig's frown deepens and he sighs. "C'mon Pip, like you want your dad and brother to attack Hap? You really want them to find out in a public place? They'll probably get arrested."

I frown at him and look away, and see Bobby chatting with Juice a few feet away. I shake my head and look back at Tig. "Fine." I say with a rough sigh.

Tig smirks at me, "I knew you'd see it my way." He says throwing an arm across my shoulders.

Happy pushes Tig's arm off me just as I was about to shrug it off. "Fuck off, Tigger." I say to him before smiling up at Hap. "So later then?" I ask biting my lip.

Hap smiles, his dimples appearing as he leans in closer to me. "Yeah, but you won't be able to walk." He says as he uses his thumb to pull my bottom lip from between my teeth and rubs it gently

I feel a huge naughty smile stretch my face. "Oh yeah, and why is that?"

His eyes seem to sparkle. "'Cause I can't keep my hands to myself."

I pout, "Just your hands?" I ask faking sadness, when actually I don't care what he uses with me; his tongue, his hands, his dick, all of them are fucking amazing.

He runs his hand down my neck and towards my boobs, "Course not." He says with a devilishly sexy smirk.

Tig smacks Hap's hand away and gets a scowl from me and a glare with a growl from Happy.

Tig shrugs, "Not here" he says with a sigh, clearly exasperated with us.

I sigh as well and nod reluctantly. "Fine, whatever, let's go inside already, I have plans tonight." I say with a scowl at Tig, then a smile at Hap.

"Hey Bobby, Retard… Let's go!" Tig yells over to Bobby and Juice.

I shake my head at him calling Juice a retard, as the two of them join us.

Juice smiles at me. "Where should we start first? Roller coaster? Bumper cars? Fun house? Oooh how 'bout the Fire Ball?"

I smile at his excitement. _Wait, is smiling considered flirting? _I think to myself with a frown. I shake my head. "I dunno, ask Tig." I say with a shrug, before turning to walk into Funtown.

I'm trying to figure out what the line is with flirting, because everyone has their own definition, and I have no clue what Hap's is. But at the same time I don't want to over react and risk losing Juice as my good friend. Yet I don't want to piss Hap off with this and have him go after Juice, or give up on this thing we've just started.

"Yo, Mac!" I hear behind me as I reach the gate.

I stop and turn, to see all the guys only a few feet away. "Yeah?"

"We're gonna find Clay, Jax and Gemma, before we tear this place up." Tig says.

I nod before turning back around and walking up to the guy at the gate. Just as I go to hand him some money so I can enter, an arm lands on top of my shoulders. I look up with a frown. "What are you doin'?" I ask Tig

He ignores me. "You better stop lookin' at her tits." Tig warns the guy at the gate.

I turn to look at the guy with my frown still in place, and sure enough he's checking me out, and he doesn't even look embarrassed or nervous about being caught. I turn to look back at Tig, when I see the rest of the guys, with Happy glaring at the guy fiercely.

"Sure, she's got a great rack that I bet is fun to motor boat. And a sweet ass that's gotta be fun to smack." Tig says loudly before leaning in close to the guy. "But if you don't stop lookin' at her, my boy over there," he says with a slight tilt of his head to indicate Hap. "Is gonna rip your hands off, beat you with them, force you to eat them and then rip your eyes out."

I think this is a bit harsh, but I look over to Hap, and he looks like he just might do that even if the guy stops staring at me, and then some. I pat Tig on the chest, before slipping out from underneath his arm, but he doesn't let me go, just tightens his arm, pulling me closer.

The guy at the gate looks at Happy and the color drains from his face. He looks back to Tig and nods, before waving us inside without taking any money.

After we get a few feet inside Funtown, Tig's arm hasn't lightened up any so I elbow him in his side lightly and slip away from him. "I thought you wanted to have fun today." I say to Tig as I move to walk between him and Happy.

Tig looks at me with a smile. "I do, and that was a lot of fun."

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Can't take you boys anywhere." I say with a smile

Tig raises his eyebrows with his smile still in place. "Us? You're the one who can't go two seconds without some random asshole checkin' you out."

I sigh, exasperated. "So what, let them fuckin' look, and be jealous, they ain't gettin' shit from me."

Tig walks closer to me. "They aren't the only ones who are jealous." He says nodding over at Happy again.

I look up at Hap; he's stone faced, and grinding his teeth. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do to make it better. I'd like to jump on him and hug him, maybe start kissing him but I don't know if that's a welcome thing to him when he's pissed.

"Where the fuck have you all been?" I hear my Dad ask, and I whip my head around to look at him instead of Happy.

"We'd have been here sooner, but Hap's hands were… full" Tig says with a leer.

I elbow him in the ribs again, but harder this time, as I walk up to my dad. "Hey Dad." I say hugging and kissing him on the cheek.

"Princess." He says returning the embrace and kiss on the cheek.

"You been waiting long?" I ask as I pull back

He nods, "Always waitin'-."

"Don't listen to him, we haven't even been here an hour." Gemma says giving my dad a light smack on the arm before she comes up and hugs me.

"Always trying to create some drama." I say shaking my head with a laugh as I return Gemma's hug.

"You seem better, even… _Happy_?" She whispers in my ear before pulling back a little bit so she can look at me while smiling.

I smile and my hand goes to the charm on my necklace, automatically. "Things are good." I say, downplaying how excited I really am.

Gemma looks at my hand around the necklace and raises her eyebrows, before looking at my face again. "Good?" she questions as she puts her arm around my shoulders and guides me away from the guys. "What does 'Good' mean?" she asks when we're away from the guys

"It means that, he doesn't hate me, and I don't hate him. We like each other, so we're seeing where that leads us." I say with a smile before looking over to Happy, who's scowling at Tig, but watching me.

"But what are you two, to each other?" Gemma asks

I look at her and shrug. "We didn't talk much, I opened the necklace and I was excited, so-."

"So the guys walked in on you two? And that's why you're all late; Hap's hands were full of you?" She asks with a smirk

My smile stretches. "Guilty!" I say throwing my hands up in the surrender pose.

Gemma laughs, "So all the guys know, except your dad and Jax?"

I shake my head. "Opie doesn't know, and I'm not sure about Piney. Since he was at dinner the other night I think he might have put it together too, since everyone else did." I say with a shrug. "Except Juice, he doesn't have a clue."

She cocks her eyebrow. "Yeah, what was going on during dinner?"

I raise my eyebrows at her. "Well if someone wouldn't have sat me between Hap and Juice, then it would have been fine."

"What was the problem with sittin' between your two brown boys?" Gemma asks with a slight smile.

I snort. "It wouldn't have been a problem, if me and Hap weren't pissed at each other then, and if me and Juice we're such flirty friends."

She smiles unapologetically and clearly amused. "How hot was the sex that night?"

"There was no sex. But if there was it would have been fuckin' amazing just like any sex with him. I mean have you seen the man." I say and look over at Happy.

He's standing with the guys, but isn't really paying any attention to them, instead he's focused on me, and it's really making me wish I would have stayed at the garage with him. Making that red car look all the better by the second, and who cares who was watching.

An arm wraps around my shoulders and I jump, having forgotten that I was with Gemma.

She smiles at me, no doubt knowing where my thoughts were. "You'll learn that with a Son, jealousy is a good thing." Gemma laughs. "These boys _love_ to prove that you're theirs." She says touching her crow on her chest.

I laugh as I shake my head at her. "Gem, we're not in the Old Lady stage, so a tat isn't gonna happen just so guys will know I'm with him."

Gemma furrows her eyebrows and cocks her head. "I'm not talking about him putting a crow on you, Sweetheart. Although I think it'll happen, that boy is hooked on your Irish ass." she says tilting her head over at Hap, who's still watching me all stoically.

I smile at Hap, before turning back to Gemma. "So what are you talking about 'proving what's theirs'?"

Gemma shakes her head at me. "Babygirl," she says tightening her arm around my shoulders. "You get that boy over there jealous, and he'll fuck you stupid and senseless."

I blink, before smiling like a mad women, and then laughing loudly. Gemma looks at me like I've lost my mind, so I shake my head. "I totally forgot what we were talking about." I say waving my hand in the air as thoughts of a jealous Happy washing my hands before fingering me on the bar come to mind.

"You look a little flushed." She says teasingly.

I cock my eyebrow, "Again, have you seen the man?"

Gemma smiles, "I have, and he likes to buy jewelry?"

I look down at my necklace and smile. "I gu-."

"Hey, girl talk on your own time!" My dad yells over to us, cutting me off.

"Yeah, we got shit to do here. I thought you had plans later, unless you wanna cancel them for _me_?" Tig yells

"Never!" I yell to Tig, before turning to look at Gemma. "Should we go and watch the boys play?"

She nods, and we start to walk over to them. "Might as well, you know how cranky they get when denied recess."

I nod and laugh. "Think they'll ever act their age?"

Gemma snorts. "Not a chance!" She says and we both start cracking up.

"What's with the daisy dukes?" Jax asks me when we reach them.

I roll my eyes. "Hi to you too, ass-face!" I say with a smile.

Jax smirks at me. "Hi Daisy Duke, will Bo and Luke be joining you today?"

Juice frowns. "Daisy Duke is blonde, and her tits are _way_ smaller than Mac's."

Juice gets smacked on the head by Jax, he smiles sheepishly and shrugs.

"Actually, the original Daisy was a brunette." Bobby says.

Tig laughs. "I always wondered what a red headed Daisy would look like… Sexy" he says looking me up and down.

I make a gagging noise. "Gross. Can we get to the rides or whatever, before I puke from Tig exposure?"

Gemma laughs as she slips her arm off my shoulders. "Well you kids have fun." She taps my arm. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she says with a wink before turning to my dad. "Let's go, you promised me alone time today."

He nods, before coming over and kissing my forehead. "Have fun, Princess." He says before turning to look at the guys. "Keep an eye on her, and don't let her wander off alone." He says to them all before slipping his arm around Gemma and walking off.

I sigh loudly. "What am I, three? 'Don't let her wander off alone', who says that shit to an adult?"

Bobby shrugs. "You know how he gets. I just don't get why he reminds us every time, like we'd let something bad happen to you." He says looking at Happy, with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Jax asks, as he looks between Bobby and Happy, before looking at me. "What happened?"

I sigh, "I love you guys, but you're all too damn protective. No one did anything to me, nothing bad happened, no panic attacks, I'm good, I swear!"

Tig nods and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Mac's good, let's hit up some rides already!"

I pout, "I don't wanna get on rides."

"What do you wanna do, then?" Tig asks with a raised eyebrow and squeezing my shoulder.

"Shut it, and get off me." I say as I shrug him off and step away from him. "I want caramel corn." Tig looks at me disbelievingly and I shrug. "What? It sounds really good!"

He shakes his head at me. "I'm disappointed in you Pip, this is our thing, and you're just abandoning ship for what, Caramel corn?" Tig says sadly, before laughing. "Look you want that shit, go get some, do what you want, I know you're a big girl." He says to me before turning to Happy. "Can you keep her company, Killah?"

Hap is glaring at Tig, but nods. "I got her." He says roughly

Tig cocks his head at Hap, and takes a step closer. "What the fuck is your-."

I step in between the two, and put my hand on Happy's chest, feeling the rumble of a growl that's forming at Tig's words. "Hap, you like caramel corn?" I ask cheerfully as I look up at him.

He blinks and looks down at me, only to shrug.

I cock my head up at him. "Well you can try some of mine if you want." I say as if I'm not confused by his shitty mood. I turn to the guys, "Have fun, and call me if you need anything." I turn back to Happy, and grab his arm, "C'mon." I say as I start to lead him away.

"Hey!" I hear Tig yell and turn back to face the guys with a raised eyebrow. "Don't have too much _fuckin'_ fun!"

I go to flip him off but realize there are kids around, so I shake my head at him. As I go to turn back around, I see Juice looking up from his cell phone and frowning, looking confused and lost. I wave at him and then turn back to Hap. "So what's the problem?" I ask him as we start walking again.

He doesn't say anything, just shakes his head while his teeth continue to grind together a little bit, but less than before.

I shrug and keep walking, ignoring the sights and sounds of the carnival.

"Hey, how did you get into my garage and then my car?" I ask after a few minutes of wondering what his problem is.

"I have my ways." Happy says.

I stop walking because I hadn't expected him to answer me. Hap stops too and I walk in front of him with my eyebrows raised. "What does that mean?"

He sighs, "It means I stole the extra garage opener that Juice had layin' in his pile of techie shit."

I nod, knowing Juice had that. "But what about my car?" I ask curiously with my head cocked

Hap makes a rough noise, not quite a growl not quite a word. "I had your keys the other day," he shrugs. "I made a copy."

I smile at him. "Stealthy." I say as a compliment with a nod. "Now why the bad mood?" I ask again

"Let's just get this dumb shit over with already." He says as he starts walking again, but I stop him with my hand on his chest as he reaches where I'm standing.

I look up at him with a sexy smile. "What do I gotta do to make you happy, Cupcake?"

Happy just looks down at me, his face blank yet I can see the anger simmering beneath the surface.

"What makes you happy, hmmm?" I ask as I walk a slow circle around him while trailing my hand over his body; from his chest, to his arm, across his back, over his other arm and then back to his chest.

He doesn't respond, so I lick my lips. "Do I need to get down on my knees and blow you? Will that make you feel better?"

Hap starts grinding his teeth again.

I sigh, "Fine, let's just find some caramel corn and then we can leave." I say with a huff before turning around and walking away from him.

As we're walking around Funtown, not saying a word, not acknowledging each other; I only knew he was still with me when he started walking beside me, instead of behind me. Hap suddenly pulls me off to the side.

"What are you doin'?" I ask, taken aback by his sudden interest in anything.

He shrugs as he pulls his hand out of his pocket and pulls out money before handing it over to some guy. I look around, completely confused; I guess that's what happens when you walk around a carnival without paying attention to anything but the upset man beside/behind you.

I cock my head as I see where Happy pulled me to, a row of game tents. The game in front of us is the game where there are the fake rifles and the targets you have to hit. I shake my head, because I know for sure that this shit is rigged. One year when me and Tig were running from game to ride to game and back, Tig tried this game, he lost and he's the Sgt. At Arms for SAMCRO, it's rigged up the ass.

"Hap these games are all rigged, you shouldn't even bother." I tell him with my hand on his arm.

He shakes his head at me. "I'm a good shot."

"I'm sure you are, it's just that I don't want you to get pissed if you miss, and then end up beatin' this guy's ass for riggin' the game." I say, remembering Tig's reaction to missing.

Happy shakes his head again, and turns his back to me as he walks up and takes hold of the game rifle.

I can't see anything, except Hap's back and ass, which is a great view. But I can hear the slight _click, click, click, click, click_ as Happy pulls the trigger on the rifle, about two seconds after having it in his hand. As the last click is fading, a bell goes off loudly.

"Damn, bro, how'd you do that!" the Carney guy says to Hap. "Hardly anyone hits the bull's-eye, but you hit that shit every time."

I cock my head confused, and walk to Happy's side just as the guy brings up the target, pointing at the five holes in the dead center.

"That was bad ass, man. You like didn't even look at the target before you shot, fuckin' bad ass!" The Carney guy continues. "Could you do that shit again, bro?"

Hap grabs the guy by the shirt and leans in, "I ain't your fuckin' bro, where's my prize?" he says roughly

"Uh, uh… Y-you can t-take any of the p-prizes h-here." He says waving his hand around behind him.

Happy lets go of the guy's shirt, and gives him a shove backwards. "Gimme the purple unicorn."

He staggers backwards before righting himself. "Dude, you can have any of the prizes and you want that small ass thing? Why not take the big ass monkey, bear, pig or dog?" The clearly dumb Carney asks confused and pointing up at the huge stuffed animals.

Happy goes to lean in again, and the guy flinches and steps back. "Give me the purple unicorn." He says through gritted teeth

"Right, right." The Carney says as he turns around quickly. "Purple unicorn coming up." He says before spinning back around and handing it to Hap, without getting too close, as if he'll bite. "Have a nice day, br- Sir!" he says loudly

Happy shakes his head and turns to face me; "Here" he says holding his hand out.

I look into his hand and see a purple unicorn, about twelve inches tall; the horn a darker shinier purple than the rest of the unicorn, with long hair around each hoof and on its head. I have no clue where they got this unicorn because it's seriously too cute for a traveling carnival prize.

"I thought purple was your favorite color." Happy says. "It was all over your room at Clay's, and your new bathroom's purple."

I look up at him with a smile. "It is my favorite color. Thanks." I say as I take the unicorn from his hand and hug it to my body. "This feels like a date." I bite my lip, not meaning to say that.

"A date?" Hap asks with raised eyebrows

"Well not a date exactly, more like date adjacent, since people who are dating each other go out on dates together. Not that we're dating, but we're together, well not together, but we're… Uh whatever we're doing." I say waving my hand between the two of us. "That doesn't sound right, because I know what we're doing. We're fucking, we're hanging out, and we like each other. I just don't know what that boils down to, ya know? Not that I'm asking for some sort of label or anything." I ramble before taking a break for breath.

"I knew what you meant." Happy says as he squeezes my side, right above my hip, before walking past me.

I stare at his back as he walks away, his walk isn't really a walk, it's more of a bad ass swagger. A, come-mess-with-me-and-mine-if-you-fuckin'-dare-I'll-fuck-you-up-without-blinking-an-eye, swagger. I shake my head and quickly run to catch up with him.

"So, do you wanna head back and find the guys, maybe go on a ride or something?" I ask when I reach him.

He shakes his head, as he scowls.

I sigh and step in front of him, blocking his path again. "Ok, what's the problem?"

Happy looks down at me, his scowl still in place, and I can see the anger still lingering in his eyes.

"Seriously, either tell me what the fuckin' problem is, or cheer up…" I trail off and narrow my eyes at him while cocking me head. "You weren't better at all, were you? You've been pissed this whole time, huh?"

He nods and shrugs.

"Maybe I could help if you tell me what's wrong." I say as I step up closer to him. "If you're hungry we can get some food."

Hap shakes his head.

I sigh, feeling exasperated and helpless in how to fix this. I look down at my cute unicorn, that he won me. It's such a sweet clichéd thing for couples to do; go to a carnival, the guy winning the girl a stuffed animal, the girl loving the shit out of the thing, regardless of what animal it is, because her man won it for her. He even picked this out for me because he remembered that it was my favorite color. I shake my head wishing I knew what to do to make Happy, happy.

As I'm still standing in front of Hap, looking at my adorable unicorn, I hear the familiar chime-y bubbly pop music drift out of a near by ride. I smile, as memories come back from the music video, and the all around cheesy catchy feel of the song wrap around me.

_Come on, come on._

I lift my head, and hand my unicorn over to Happy. "Hold him for a sec." I say before throwing my arms around his neck.

_Oh..._

Hap frowns at me, clearing wonder what the hell I'm doing, or going to do. So I smirk at him, and wink, before singing along and slowly moving my body with the music.

_I feel like I've been locked up tight  
For a century of lonely nights  
Waiting for someone  
To release me_

_You're licking your lips and blowing kisses my way  
But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away  
Baby, baby, baby (baby, baby, baby)  
_

I sing along; licking my lips and blowing him a kiss while singing those words.

_Oh whoa...  
My body's saying let's go  
Oh whoa...  
But my heart is saying no (no)  
_

I sing along, and fling my body back and away from his, separating the two of us by a few feet. Before dancing more and singing louder.

_If you wanna be with me, baby  
There's a price you pay  
I'm a genie in a bottle  
You gotta rub me the right way  
If you wanna be with me  
I can make your wish come true  
You gotta make a big impression  
I gotta like what you do_

_I'm a genie in a bottle, baby  
Gotta rub me the right way, honey  
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby  
Come, come, come and let me out_

_The music's playing and the lights' down low  
One more dance and then we're good to go  
Waiting for someone  
Who needs me_

_Hormones racing at the speed of light  
But that don't mean it's gonna be tonight  
Baby, baby, baby (baby, baby, baby)_

_Oh whoa...  
My body's saying let's go  
Oh whoa...  
But my heart is saying no (no) _

I had been doing my own thing, but at this point in the song, I remembered the dance moves from the video, and decided to bust them out, while singing this poppy song's chorus.

Waving my right arm up in the air while my left hand is on my hip and shaking my body along with the waving arm, before motioning with my right hand for him to come here, and then moving both hands as best as I could remember Christina Aguliera doing in the video. And then finally into the motion around my head, before putting both hands up and doing a little belly dance as a genie, while shimmying my hips along.

_If you wanna be with me  
Baby, there's a price you pay  
I'm a genie in a bottle  
You gotta rub me the right way  
If you wanna be with me  
I can make your wish come true  
Come and set me free, baby  
And I'll be with you  
_

Hap shakes his head, before laughing; A nice deep, purely masculine, raspy chuckle of amusement. But I'm not done, I walk up to Happy, and throw my arms around his neck again, while shaking my hips to the music; grinding the fronts of our bodies together, while still singing along with Christina.

_I'm a genie in a bottle, baby  
Gotta rub me the right way, honey  
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby  
Come, come, come and let me out _

_Oh whoa...  
My body's sayin' let's go  
Oh whoa...  
But my heart is saying no (no)  
_

Happy puts his hand on my hip as I still move them to the music. "You're heart's sayin' 'no'?" he asks

I smirk up at him, forgetting about the song. "Not a single thing in me, is sayin' no to you." I say and give him a chaste kiss on his lips while still grinding on him.

"This song is fuckin' dumb, and corny." He says while smiling at me, his dimples looking extremely lickable.

I nod. "I know, but you were diggin' my moves, don't lie." I say smiling so big it hurts

Hap laughs again, as he leans his head in closer to mine. "They'd be fuckin' stupid, if anyone else did 'em." He shakes his head. "That was hot as fuck." He says so lowly that his voice is rougher and raspier than usual.

I shiver. "What was so hot about it? The genie moves really turn you on?" I tease still smiling up a storm as 'Genie in a Bottle', fades out and 'Pon De Replay' by Rihanna starts, so I switch up my dancing slightly to a fast deeper grind to the reggae like beat._  
_

Happy pulls me closer to his body by my hip. "You turn me on. You dancin'." He shakes his head. "Fuckin' irresistible."

I cock my eyebrow, "Irresistible, huh?"

He nods. "You know, about earlier…?"

"What about earlier, when?" I ask never stalling in my movements.

"That whole date bullshit you were talkin' 'bout. Y-." Happy says and I stop dancing

I shake my head, cutting him off. "I was just rambling; don't even give it a second thought, Hap." I assure him, before looking down to see my little stuffed purple unicorn still in his hand, and squished between our bodies.

Happy sighs. "So you don't wanna know that you're my girl?"

I snap my head up to look at him. "What?" I ask, not sure if I was just hearing what I wanted to hear.

He smiles at me. "I thought you knew that shit, didn't know I had to spell it out for you." Hap teases

I nudge him with my body, like a shove, but he doesn't move an inch still solid and holding me to him. "Don't tease me with all this! I thought we agreed to try this thing, whatever it is, so I took that to mean that you like being with me, fucking me, and you know I already like those things." I say lightly, kind of joking but seriously wondering what the hell we are, and shrugging.

Happy shakes his head and leans in closer to me. "You're my girl." He says like it's the simplest and most obvious thing in the world.

I smile, "And you're my man?"

Hap tightens his hand on my hip and pulls our bodies so close it feels like we shouldn't be able to breathe. "Damn straight." He says before kissing me.

His tongue pries my lips apart, not like they were going to resist anyways, and seizes my mouth, as he moves his hand from my hip down to my ass before squeezing. All my attention is commanded on the feeling of our mouths merging. The strokes of his tongue, at first rough and possessing, but then soft and slow, as if massaging, before switching it back up. Happy, always does this thing where he circles my tongue with his, not touching but just close enough so I can feel his tongue's presence, before sucking on my tongue and then pulling back only to bite the end of my tongue ring barbell, and tug slightly.

If I had never had sex with him, and only kissed him, which is a ridiculous thought since what Son is going to wait to fuck the chick he likes? But if I hadn't experienced the immense pleasure of being treated to the fuck-awesome time that is sex with Happy, I would be able to tell that he's a sex god, just by his kiss. His kiss that makes me crave an orgasm like it's something I have never experienced before. I think if dedicated enough time, I could honestly cum by his kiss.

I hear a throat clear, but pay it no attention. It gets louder, and more persistent, and Hap tenses before pulling back.

"The fuck you want asshole?" he questions aggressively while pulling back.

"Whoa, calm the fuck down, Hap." I hear a familiar voice say, and I pop my eyes open.

I blink, "Bobby? What are you doing here?" I ask completely confused

He cocks his head at me. "I came here with you."

I furrow my brows. "Why would I bring you to my house, if Hap was-?" I cut myself off as I see flashing bright lights out of the corner of my eye, and it clicks that we're at Funtown, I shake my head, trying to snap out of it.

Bobby raises his eyebrows at me, before looking at Happy. "What the hell did you do to her?" he asks amused, instead of accusatory.

"Just a little makin' out." Hap says with a shrug while smiling, before throwing his arm around my shoulders.

Bobby laughs. "I've been standing here for ten minutes, that was no 'little making out', neither of you realized I was here and I was talking to you both." He says laughing harder and shaking his head.

I laugh, "So why did you interrupt us anyway?" I ask as I see a bunch of people gathered around, watching me and Happy. I cuddle into his body a bit, not embarrassed but hysterically happy, before grabbing my unicorn from him and hold it to my body.

Hap tightens his arm around me, holding me closer to him. "Yeah, somethin' happen?" he asks seriously.

I look up and see Bobby shake his head. "Chibs is back, with a clover." He tells Hap

I roll my eyes, "Yay, Chibs is home." I say truly happy about that. "Like you needed to interrupt our fun for that? You could have told us later."

Bobby nods. "Yeah I could've, but we gotta leave and head to TM."

"Oh" I say lifting my head from Hap's chest

He nods. "You can stay here with Gemma if you want; she said she was staying for a while." Bobby says

I bit my lip in thought, before shaking my head. "Nah, I should head to TM, and catch up on the pile of paper work I'm sure is on my desk."

Bobby nods. "Run it by Clay first, I don't know if he wants you there or not."

I nod in understanding. "Is everyone leaving now, or in a little bit?"

"As soon as we found Hap, we were gonna leave." He tells us. "So you both ready to go?"

I sigh, "I guess"

Happy chuckles so lightly you can barely hear it, but I can feel it in his chest. "This shit shouldn't take long." He says before stepping back from me.

I nod, "Well just encase, I have my new man to keep me company."

Hap cocks his eyebrow.

I lift up my unicorn. "He's so cute!" I say before kissing its head and hugging it again.

Happy shakes his head, before scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

I squeak, and clutch the unicorn harder so I don't drop it. "Hap, what-."

He cuts me off by smacking me on the ass. "After all that dancin', I'm giving your legs a break." He says while running his hand down my bare leg. "Until later."

I smile, all excited. "Such a fuckin' tease." I say before smacking him on the ass. "You know, if it wasn't such a good view, I'd protest being carried like this." I say as I grab his ass this time.

"My view's better." Hap says

I cock an eyebrow while looking at his ass. "I seriously doubt that."

"Better view, your tits pressed into my back, and a pillow if I need it." He says

"Pillow?" I question before feeling something on my ass. I look up to see Hap resting his head on my ass; his pillow.

"Soft, but firm, perfect." Happy says

I shiver as I feel his voice rumble on my ass, while feeling his muscles moving underneath my body as he walks. "How is my ass 'soft, but firm'?"

"'Cause there's enough to squeeze or hold on too and do what I want, but it's all tight and firm." He says while still laying his head on my ass before moving his head off his pillow.

"What exactly do you want to do to my ass?" I question almost breathlessly

As soon as the last word leaves my lips, I squeak and almost jump off his shoulder; I would have fallen had it not been for Hap's hold behind my knees. Happy pulls me off his shoulder, and let's my body slide down his until I'm standing in front of him.

I raise my eyebrows, "Did you just…?" I ask unable to voice what I think he did.

Happy smirks looking very mischievous.

I narrow my eyes at him, in mock anger, but only hold it for a second before busting out a huge smile. I push at his chest lightly. "You bit me!" I say incredulously. "Oh god, is there a mark?" I ask as I turn around and try to look at the back of my leg.

Hap bit me, on the back of my inner thigh right near my ass. Not a little nip, but a full on, sink your teeth in, bite. It wasn't expected, hence the jump and squeak, but it only hurt for a second and then felt _so_ good.

"Yeah." Happy answers sounding proud that there is a mark of his teeth on me.

I spin around to face him. "What the fuck do you think my Dad's gonna say, or do, when he sees a bite mark on the back of my thigh?"

Hap steps in closer to me and grabs my ass. "He isn't gonna see it."

I raise my eyebrows. "What are you psychic?"

He snorts. "The only way anyone will see it, is if they're lookin' at your ass."

I cock my head at him. "You're marking your territory." I shake my head as it all comes together now. "That's why you were pissed, because guys were lookin' at me?"

Happy makes a rough noise in his throat. "I almost threw you in the dirt and fucked you, before killin' them all." He says while squeezing my ass harder

"You could've." I say breathlessly.

I hear a throat clear. "You both know I'm standing right here, don't you?" Bobby says

I can't look away from Hap and his sexy promising dark eyes, so I smirk. "I forgot." I say to Bobby.

He laughs. "Story of my life, at least you're alright."

I blink, confused, and turn to look at Bobby. "Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be?"

Bobby looks a little sheepish, "It's just you know." He says motioning between me and Happy.

I cock my head and step back from Happy to stand in front of Bobby. "It's just, what?"

He shakes his head. "Nothin' forget it."

I raise my eyebrows. "No, you got something to say, fuckin' say it." I tell him, getting pissed off because I think I know what he's trying to imply.

Bobby sighs. "It's just Hap's not known for his people skills, and you're so _fragile_… I was worried." He says with a shrug

I furrow my brows, unsure of where to start with that statement.

Hap steps up close to me and Bobby. "The fuck Bobby? You think I'd hurt her?" he asks angrily with clenched fists.

Bobby shrugs. "You're not a nice guy, Hap. She's my fragile niece, who's been through a lot of shit-."

"First off," I say as I step up between the two and into Bobby's face. "I'm not fuckin' fragile." I poke him in his belly. "You got that?"

"Mac, you ar-." Bobby starts.

I shake my head, "No, I don't wanna hear shit from you. What the fuck Bobby? Huh? I mean you gave me the go ahead, just like all the other guys, and now you're gonna stand here and accuse Hap of hurting me and shit? Don't ever, _fuckin' ever_, say some shit about him like that, I mean it. Fuck you." I say before turning and walking away.

I'm shaking with how angry I am. I get that the guys all love me and see me as family, because I feel the exact same. But I thought they all said they knew I was a grown woman, not a little girl. I get that it has to be a difficult situation for them to see me all grown up to begin with, but then to see me with a Son has to be really odd for them. But then again, they all said they knew I'd be with a Son, so get the fuck over it already!

And accusing Hap of shit, what the fuck? That's his brother for god sakes! Shouldn't he; one, have faith in me that I'd be with a guy that wouldn't hurt me. Two, know that I wouldn't chance fucking anything up between brothers over something petty. Three, trust in his brother enough to not hurt me. I just don't get this shit, and it's really fucking annoying.

"Hey, Princess!" I hear my Dad say.

I stop and blink, before looking over to my left. My dad, Gemma, Jax, Tig, and Juice are all standing by the gate to Funtown, no doubt waiting on me, Hap and Bobby. I take a deep breath before walking over to them all.

"Why you walkin' around like you're 'bout to kill someone?" Jax asks.

I shake my head, and ignore his question. "Dad, I'm gonna ride back with you guys, catch up on some of the tower of paper work for TM. That alright?"

My Dad shakes his head, "Why don't you stay here with Gem, have fun, and then do the work tomorrow?"

I shrug. "I just don't want to." I say truthfully. I didn't even really want to come here with Tig, but I did because he wanted me too.

My Dad looks at Juice, Jax, and Tig in turn, before looking at me. "Fine, you can come back to TM with us, but I don't want you staying there working forever."

I nod. "I won't, I'm tired, and it's been a busy day."

He nods. "Plus we'll have a visitor, so I don't want you hangin' in the clubhouse. You can come in, get a drink and hang with us for a minute or two, but I don't want you there, got it?"

I nod again. "Just a drink with you boys after I organize the paper work or whatever, then I'll go home, promise." I look over at Gemma, "You good with hanging out here by yourself?"

She nods with a laugh. "Yeah, Babygirl, don't worry or feel bad, you go do what you want." She says, the double meaning clear to me, and Tig who laughs.

I glare at him. "So you have fun, asshole?"

He stops laughing and glares back. "I did, but I could've had more fun if I didn't have to wait for your ass to get it together before comin' here."

"I thought it was Hap's fault you guys were late." Jax says

Tig smirks at me evilly. "Oh it was."

"Where did you get that?" Juice asks as he points at my hands, having no clue he just helped to relax a tense situation.

I look down at my purple unicorn and smile. "Hap won it for me." I say as I look up.

Gemma smiles hugely, obviously happy for me. "What did he win it on?"

I smirk at Tig. "That shooting game with the rifle."

"That's fuckin' rigged, piece of shit Carnies." Tig says

I shrug still smirking. "Hap hit the dead center five times."

Tig scoffs. "Yeah right, if he did that then why do you have some corny ass small thing?"

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Don't hate on my prize just because you couldn't win before. And he's medium, not small." I defend my unicorn while hugging it tightly.

"Hey Killah, why's she lyin' and sayin' you won at that rifle bullshit game?" Tig asks looking behind me.

I look over my shoulder to see Hap and Bobby walking up; Happy walking more aggressively, while Bobby just leisurely strolls up to us.

Hap stops next to me. "She ain't lyin', I won her that." He says tilting his head at my unicorn. He sounds almost proud when he said he won me the prize, so I smile.

Tig narrows his eyes. "What'd you do, threaten the guy workin' the booth?"

I laugh. "That was afterwards. He won fair and square."

"Bullshit." Tig says as he goes to walk away from us, but my Dad grabs his arm.

"We gotta roll, we don't have time for this shit." He tells Tig.

Tig nods. "I'll come back for the fucker."

I roll my eyes at him. "Just get over it, it was eight years ago."

"Fuck that." Tig says with a scoff

"We do gotta go though, Chibs'll be back soon from his trip." Juice says looking at his cell phone.

The guys all nod, and my Dad turns to me. "Last chance, you sure you wanna come back with us?"

I nod. "Yeah I'm sure."

"Just think about it, you could stay and have more caramel corn, since it was so important to you that you abandoned us." Tig says

I shake my head. "Shit! I didn't even get any." I say when I realize I was so wrapped up in Happy that I forgot what I wanted from Funtown.

"Aw, too bad, guess you're stayin'." Tig says sarcastically.

I narrow my eyes at him.

"I'll get you some and bring it home for you." Gemma says. "Anything else you want, Mac?"

I smirk at Tig's scowl. "Some cotton candy and a Carmel apple would be great."

"You got it, Sweetie." Gemma says as she steps up and hugs me. "Have fun with Hap." She whispers in my ear.

I roll my eyes at her. "Have fun too." I whisper before pulling back.

Gemma laughs and nods. "You all get outta here already."

My Dad nods, and kisses Gemma, before pulling her into a hug. "Call if you need anything."

"What like more money?" She asks with a laugh as she pulls out of the embrace.

The guys all start walking out, giving the two some privacy so I walk with them.

"Your dad was cool with you comin' back?" Hap asks me

I nod. "Yeah, but there's a visitor so he doesn't want me to stay long, so I'll do some work, have a drink or two, and then head on home."

Happy nods. "I'll come over after."

I turn to look up at him, and walk backwards. "Promise?" I ask with a smile

Hap nods with smirk. "It might be late."

I shrug, smiling harder now. "Just use your key."

He cocks his head. "What key?"

I stop walking as we reach the bikes, and cock an eyebrow at him. "You had my keys, copied my car key, and mean to tell me you didn't copy my house key?"

Happy chuckles lightly. "A'ight, I'll use my key." He says before getting on his bike.

I laugh. "When you gonna stop being such a sneaky fucker?"

He turns his head to look at me from his bike, with a huge smirk. "You like me bein' a sneaky fucker."

I bite my lip. "You know I do." I answer even though it wasn't a question.

He nods. "Thought so." He says as he hands me a helmet.

I smirk at him as I grab the helmet, before pulling it on. "Smart ass." I say before climbing on the back of his bike, only to wince slightly when I sit down.

Hap shakes his head as I wrap my arms around his waist. "Obsessed with my ass." he says with a smile in his voice.

I scoff and lean in closer to his back. "If by 'your ass', you mean all of you, then you're right." I say. "But, your ass is really nice and… bitable." I say in his ear.

"Why you always start shit when we get on the bike?" He asks as he turns his head to look at me.

I smirk at him. "'Cause I'm hoping that you'll fuck me on your bike."

Hap growls, and I can both feel it and hear it. "You're lucky I don't lean you-."

"Alright, let's get the fuck outta here already." My dad says loudly, cutting off Happy's, no doubt, dirty suggestive panty dampening threat.

Instead of nodding the guys all start their bikes at the same time, in agreement. I laugh, because you really can't plan the shit that these guys do sometimes.

Tig looks over at me from his bike, with a huge smirk on his face. "Nice bite mark."

I smirk back at Tig and tighten my arms around Happy, before turning my face into the back of his cut. Who knew that a bite mark could feel like such a huge victory?

**-BIA-**

The paperwork was horrendous. Not the actual documents, but the shear amount of them. To look at the piles of papers, you'd think no one had set a hand to any of the forms in over a month. Piles and piles of papers covered the desk, not neat piles, but piles with papers turned this way and that way. Add to that the chicken scratch that most of these guys call hand writing, and I _almost_ wish I had stayed at Funtown.

If it hadn't been for riding bitch with Happy, and then the sexy smirk, wink and slight pinch he gave my side as he smacked my ass, before going with the rest of the guys into the clubhouse, then I would have wished I stayed with Gemma at that damn carnival. But since I wouldn't give up a chance to be near Hap, I could seriously be locked in this office with nothing but piles of paperwork at every turn and be cool with it.

I made dents in the stacks of paperwork, filing them into the filing cabinet, typing order forms into the computer, and organizing the remaining documents into piles to be dealt with tomorrow. I did all this while my cute purple unicorn sat on top of the computer monitor, watching me work and reminding me of the sexy man that I'll be alone with soon.

As I'm waiting for the computer to shut down fully, I look out the window just as the darkness swallows up the TM lot. I can see the guys coming out of the clubhouse, before they settle in to stand around their bikes.

The computer gives a final flash of light before turning off completely. I suppress my squeal of delight at being free to go home, and go into the arms of the sexiest biker ever. I shake myself out of the giddy girl mode, and sigh as I pull myself together before walking out of the office and locking up.

As I make my way across the lot toward all the guys at the bikes, I hear a noise behind me and look over my shoulder. I smirk and shake my head as I see Kip sweeping out the garage.

"Princess." I turn my head to look back at the bikes, to find my Dad sitting on his. "Remember what I said."

I nod. "I'm only gonna grab a quick drink, and then I'll head home." I say, fighting to keep my eyes of Happy.

My Dad nods, "Good, now go get in the clubhouse. We'll be in, in a minute."

I furrow my brows at him, confused by him rushing me. But then I see the lights sweep across the lot, and nod, knowing that their business is about to take place, before walking to the clubhouse.

Having already finished my beer, and wiped down the bar, I'm at a total loss as to what to do. I can't leave and head home, because they're all doing business out in the lot, and there is really nothing to do in here by myself; Other than clean, which I am _not _doing.

Just as I sit down at the bar and open my sketch pad, the door opens and the guys all come in. I see Chibs out of the corner of my eye as I'm putting my sketch pad back into my purse. I get up off my stool and head over and give him a hug.

"Have fun on your trip?" I ask

Chibs snorts. "Aye, barrels and barrels of fun."

I pull back and roll my eyes at him. "How 'bout a drink to turn that frown upside down?"

He raises his eyebrows at me. "Someone sure is _happy_."

I smile at him. "Of course I am! We were just at Funtown."

His eyebrows climb even higher on his forehead. "And jus' how much _fun_ did ye have?"

I scoff at him. "I'm not that type of girl!" I go for serious, but end up laughing my ass off. "It was all PG, wait no, maybe PG-13." I say once my laughing fit subsides

Chibs laughs and slings an arm around my shoulders. "I'm sure darlin'."

"No, seriously, it was all innocent fun." I say even though my dancing and then the making out with Hap, probably doesn't pass for innocent.

"Jesus Christ! Is that Mackenzi?" I hear a rough Irish voice say and freeze.

I slowly turn around, and look over to the bar to see someone I haven't seen in forever. He looks exactly the same only a little older and huskier.

He shakes his head. "Jesus, she looks just like Alana."

I shake my head and take a deep breath, before moving out from Chibs' hold on my shoulders, and make my way over to the bar. "What's everyone drinkin'?" I ask as I look around, only to see Happy watching me curiously.

"Whatever's on tap's good, Princess." My dad says and the guys all nod.

As I start filling the glass mugs with beer, and handing them out, I can feel McKeevy's eyes on me; Making me want to scream and eager to leave.

"We talkin' business tonight?" I hear McKeevy ask my dad.

I turn just in time to see him nod. "Yeah we are." He says before turning to me. "Head home and I'll see you tomorrow."

I sigh extremely relieved to be able to get away from the eyes of the Irishman. I nod as I make my way around the bar. "Night dad." I say as I kiss his cheek.

"Night, Princess." He says as he returns the gesture.

I turn to face the guys and smile. "See you boys tomorrow." I say to them all.

As I make my way towards the door, Chibs stops me and gives me a hug. "Ya want me to kick his ass?" he asks in my ear.

I laugh quietly. "Sure, start some sort of war with the IRA because he mentioned my mom." I shake my head. "I'm fine, it just threw me." I say and pull back.

Chibs nods with a frown. "If ye change yer mind…" he trails off raising his eyebrows.

I shake my head and laugh again. "Not gonna happen, sorry."

Chibs frowns at me and then tilts his head at the door. "Fine, move yer ass then." He says with a chuckle.

I roll my eyes at him and then kiss his scarred cheek. "Night Chibby."

He gives my cheek a kiss too. "See ya in the mornin', Sweetheart."

As I nod, and pull back, I see Happy standing right behind Chibs. I cock my eyebrow at him as a huge smile spreads across my face.

"I take it, that smile ain't meant for me." Chibs says before looking behind him. He shakes his head, and angles his body so it looks like the three of us are talking.

I shake my head, not even removing my eyes from Happy.

Hap looks at Chibs, before looking at me. "I'll be over after he's gone." He says tilting his head toward the bar.

I smile at him. "I'll be waiting."

He smirks. "Don't start without me."

I laugh, and walk closer to the door, but pausing when I'm next to him. "Where's the fun in that?" I ask before opening the door and heading to my car.

I make my way home, and curl up on the couch, cuddling my unicorn, while waiting for my man to show up.

-**BIA-**

I'm so cozily comfortable asleep, that when I hear a phone ringing I just groan and try to burrow my way deeper into the bed. I don't get far, as instead of a mattress and pillows; I'm snuggled up to a hard and warmly masculine body that vibrates with a sexy sleepy chuckle.

I open my eyes, and see Happy's snake tattoo on his chest. I smile before tilting my head up to look at him. "Hi."

Instead of answering in words, Hap tightens his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his body, puts his hand on my ass and tugs me up his body to kiss me.

I climb on top of him while we kiss, and he keeps his hand on my ass, that I realize is bare as he starts rubbing the cheek with his fingers. Hap puts his other hand on my ass, and then grinds his very hard dick into me. We pull apart, our lips making a smacking sound, and I moan.

"Someone's a morning person." I say as I try to catch my breath. I put my hands on his chest as I sit up a little bit, I moan again as my actions just push our lower bodies together more.

Happy shrugs slightly, and flexes his hands on my ass, squeezing it.

I cock my head. "Did you fuck me so stupid last night that I can't remember?"

He shakes his head a bit, while looking at my bare tits. "Nah, you were asleep on the couch, so I carried you to bed." He smirks. "You'd remember."

I shiver. "How come you didn't wake me up?" I ask before biting my lip to stop the girlie giggle that is dying to escape.

Hap shrugs without looking away from my bare chest. "You needed sleep, so I let you."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Then how -." I stop and clear my throat, and Hap blinks before looking up at me. I smile. "So what happened to my clothes?"

He licks his sexy luscious lips. "As far as I know, you like to sleep naked."

I raise my eyebrows. "And you just thought you'd be helpful and strip me?"

Happy shrugs and I laugh. "What's funny?" he asks.

"You know you could have woken me up, right?" I ask as I force my hands off his pecs, and hold them in the air. "Sleep deprivation," I say holding one hand higher than the other. "Sex with you." I say making a juggling motion with my hands, I roll my eyes and lift the hand for sex with him, as high as I can and the other as low as possible, as I sigh dramatically. "Duh!" I say before I lean down and kiss his lips lightly.

Hap smiles naughtily. "I'll remember that for next time." He says as he tries to pull me closer.

I pull back and bite my lip, "Do you have any idea how…" I trail off, not knowing which word to use to describe him.

His smile stretches, and he starts running his fingers up my ass cheeks to my hips and back. "Are you actually…" he trails off and raises his eyebrows. "Speechless?" he finishes with mock shock.

I narrow my eyes into a fierce glare and lean down so my mouth is at his ear. "You have no _fucking_ idea." I whisper, feeling his cock twitch against my stomach, before pulling back and licking his dimple, and then sitting up a little to see his face.

Hap blinks, shakes his head a little bit, and then cocks his head at me. "Did you just lick… my face?" he asks confused.

I scoff, "Of course not! I licked that sexy dimple that's been constantly calling out to my tongue." I say with a smirk, but then I frown.

"Wh-?" Hap starts but stops when I lean down and lick his other dimple.

I kiss his lips slightly again, and then lick the seam of them. As he opens his mouth I lean away from his mouth, and shake my head. "The other one was feeling left out."

Happy chuckles lowly, and shakes his head. "You're weird."

I nod and lean back down. "I know, Cupcake, I know." I say before licking from where his shoulder and neck meet all the way up to his jaw. I lick across his jaw, loving the raspy feeling of his day old stubble against my tongue. When I get near his ear I lick down his neck, to his shoulder, before licking across and stopping at his Adam's apple, to lick and suck on it.

"Strawberry…" Hap says his voice vibrating against my mouth, only to trail off on a groan when I stop sucking and nibble lightly.

I lick down his chest and stop above his nipple. "What is it, Hap?" I ask making my breath fan across this nipple, which tightens and I swoop down and suck it into my mouth. I pull back up, nibbling, and then licking.

He's looking at me, unsure of what I'm doing, so I smirk and give him a wink, before kissing my way to his other nipple, and giving it the same treatment. As I finish with that nipple, I brace my knees against the bed more firmly, popping my ass into the air, before continuing on a lick-suck-nibble journey down and across his ribs.

As I reach his belly button, and before I even touch it in anyway, Hap makes a growlie-groaning noise, as he gets a very naughty shine to his eyes. I cock my eyebrow at him in question.

"Your ass…I…FUCK!" Hap says loudly when I lick across his navel, and then press my tongue inside and swirl it around.

Happy sits up and grabs my arm, trying to tug me up to him, but I resist. He gives me a disbelieving look, and I give him a sultry smile while wagging my finger no at him, before biting at the skin next to his belly button.

He hisses and tightens his hand on my arm before releasing it, and then leans back down onto the pillows when I don't let up on my licks, nips, and kisses on him.

I switch it up, instead of focusing in and around his navel; I flatten my tongue and lick up the center of his tight six pack, before following the outside outline of his abs down toward his hips.

I pull back up, and kiss each dip, curve, and ridge along his abs, and then run my tongue over the top of the kisses. I turn my attention to each individual pack; first a wet open mouthed kiss, then a light nip, soft kiss, and then a hard bite.

Hap's lean into the pillows has turned into a full on lounge; His head tilted back, eyes blazing with intensity, and his body tense.

"Mac… Baby… I need…" he says as his breathing becomes strained and his hands clench and unclench at his sides.

I smile at him, and place a kiss in the dead center of his glorious six pack. "Don't worry, Baby, I got you." I say before I pick up where I left off, kissing his navel and then moving over to some of his smiley face tattoos, licking and biting at them, before doing the same on his other side.

Just as I'm finishing with the smiley faces, Hap breaks the silence again. "What are you up to?" his voice deeper than usual.

I ignore his question and ask one of my own. "What is this called?" I ask, as I lick down the V indent near his right hip. "I mean, it's not your hip, and it's not your abs, so what is it?" I pepper little kisses up and down it, before switching to the left one.

After my lick up the indent, "I think it should be called the victory trail." I say before placing the same small kisses all over it.

"Victory trail?" Hap asks, and it sounds really rough.

I smile and nod at him, my hair brushing against his thigh and hip. "Well, there's already a 'Happy trail', and it's a victory if your man has one, and a victory if you get to see it, touch it, lick it, bite it…" I trail off to bite at it and Hap hisses.

I go to pull back but I realize that his head is kicked back, his breathing erratic, and I smirk before biting again.

"I wanna try something with you." I say to him since his reactions are spurring me on, as I let my breath wash over my little nibble marks with each word.

Happy's head snaps back up from the mountain of pillows and he raises his eyebrows. "What?"

I lick my lips. "You'll see." I say as I move back slowly.

"Tell me." Hap says from gritted teeth. I just shake my head and he gets pissed off. "The fu…FUCK!" He had started to sit up more, but as I licked the head of his dick, he dropped back down with a shout.

I smirk, and slowly lick down his dick, and then back up. I swirl my tongue around him, until I reach the head again, I grasp the base of his cock in my hand as I treat it like an ice cream cone on a hot day. Licking, and then curling my tongue around the head slowly, savoring the flavor of his skin.

I pull back and lightly blow on his dick, it twitches and Hap makes a quiet rough noise in his throat, as he keeps his eyes on mine. I smile innocently at him, and lean down, opening my mouth to take him inside. A drop of pre cum lands on my tongue and I moan around his hard cock.

Another sound comes from him, still quiet but not as much as before. I bob up and down for a few minutes, setting a rhythm. Hap's hips starts to buck up a tiny bit, telling me he wants faster. I go faster for a bob up and down, before pulling my mouth off him with a pop.

"The fuck…?" Happy asks trailing off as lower my head to his dick again but I don't touch it with anything but my hand that's already there and my breath. I put my forehead down right above his cock, and then shake my head lightly, letting my long hair fan across his abs.

Hap groans, just loud enough to be able to make out what the sound is. I smile, and then move my head and kiss up and down his dick lightly, not letting my lips linger for more than a second. I pull back again, and run my hand up and down him, stroking my saliva into him more.

He's watching me, clearly interested and entertained, but with a bit of anger underneath, but it's barely peaking out from under the desire all over his face. I kiss his hip, and down his thigh, watching him as he gets angrier.

At about mid thigh, I lean up and while still stroking him, lick his balls. Gently, as if unsure, but then I lick harder, letting the ball on my tongue ring press into his sack. Yet another groan escapes him, and I see his hands doing that clenching-unclenching thing again.

I smile, and place open mouth kisses on his balls, before sucking one into my mouth. This time, I don't do gentle, I suck with a bit of force, and then lap my tongue onto it soothingly. I rain more kisses onto his balls, still while stroking his dick, and then nibble at one ball.

Hap's body arches off the bed, his hips thrusting his dick into my hand, as he moans. I can't help myself and release a full on, loud and long moan around one of his balls.

An excited smirk settles over my lips, and I nibble at his balls some more. Nipping forcefully, stroking him, and then digging my nails into his stomach some.

Happy groan-moans words at me, something completely unrecognizable, and I whimper around his ball in my mouth in response. I see his hands both fisted onto the bed, his beautifully sexy, brown skin decimating the sea green sheets. I whimper again, and his fists twist the fabric.

This whole thing was suppose to be _all_ about him, with me allowing myself the greedy indulgence of worshiping at the Temple of Happy. Which, to be completely honest, I've been eager to do since first meeting him, but hadn't allowed myself such a luxury.

I had wanted, hell _craved_, this; His warm brown sugary tattooed skin under my tongue, his hard as steel muscles yielding to my teeth, marking him externally as he had marked me internally, and hoping to leave my own mark inside. Maybe not even a mark, but a smudge right up there near his ribs.

He had said once, while I was falling asleep, that I deserved better than him. He had been so very wrong about that. He deserved the worshiping, the pleasure, anything and everything I could offer him, he deserved that and then some.

My free hand lazily traces his sexy tattoos while the other keeps up a firm and slow stroke on his cock. My teeth, tongue and mouth still focused on his balls with erotic caresses.

What I wasn't expecting was the thrill that ran though me; because not only was I worshiping Happy's powerful body, but he was fucking loving every single second of it; the look in his eyes, the way his hands were clenching and unclenching, fisting the sheets. But what really sent my desire into orbit, was the noises he was making; Groans, growls, and moans.

I'm so turned on that I'm surprised that I'm not crying from how badly I want some sort of release. Leaving my hands and mouth to continue their adoration of my man, I lift one leg, and shift my lower body so I'm straddling Happy's leg. I push myself down, until my pussy meets with his knee. I moan as I get some very excellent friction, and start grinding myself onto his knee matching the strokes of my hand on his dick.

I pull my mouth off his balls; kiss them some more before going back up and taking his cock into my mouth, deep throating him, and shifting my hips down harder. I let out a long moan, as Hap groans, and grabs a fist full of my hair. As he pulls me up by it, he shocks me by not pushing my head back down, but pulling me off his wonderful dick completely.

Happy tilts his head, "Get on."

"Huh?" I ask as my hips still grind down on his knee.

He makes a rough noise. "You're so fuckin' wet, you gotta be achin'."

I bite my lip, and shake my head, before putting my mouth back on his dick, even though I really am aching. All I do is lick the head, before Hap pulls me back up by my hair.

"Hop the fuck on." He orders through clenched teeth, as I see a muscle flexing in his jaw.

I whimper, and unwrap my legs from around his, taking my pussy off his knee. I crawl up on my knees, still keeping my hand around his cock and stroking him. I swing my leg over his hips, and lower my body, but not completely. Just enough for his cock to slip between my folds, and then I start rocking back and forth.

After guide-riding him for a few minutes, Hap makes a rough noise and grabs my hips. He lines my opening up with his cock, and starts to push me down. I resist his hold, pulling up as he pushes down, which just makes the head of his dick enter me and exit me repeatedly.

I moan, surprised by how fucking amazing it feels to just have part of his dick inside me. As I keep up my resistance of Hap pulling me down to seat me on his cock fully, I start to rock my body back and forth more, and he narrows his eyes at me.

I lean down and kiss his lips and then bite the bottom one, before pulling back. Hap's hands tighten on my hips, trying to pull me down harder, but I brace myself of my knees and pull up. I don't get far since I'm not anywhere near as strong as he is, so I lean my body down on top of his before rubbing my tits against his chest.

Happy makes a groaning noise, which makes me smirk since now he doesn't seem to be able to stop with the noises, and squeezes my hips before sliding his hands up my ribs to my boobs; cupping them and rubbing his fingers across my nipples.

Rebelling against my body's intense desire, I take the opportunity to get my pussy away from his cock, and shimmy my way back down between his legs as he goes to flick my nipple.

He goes to protest, and probably yell at me, but as his mouth opens so does mine. I place open wet kisses slowly down his shaft, lingering and sucking each spot as I go. Hap snaps his mouth shut, his teeth connecting audibly.

I had avoided the head of his cock, sort of teasing him, but I kiss my way back up, licking and scraping my teeth lightly as I go. When I reach the head, I pause, letting my breath fan across him as I stare at up into his face, with what I'm pretty sure is a desperately horny expression.

His teeth grind together "Get up here and fuckin' ride me already." He says his voice rougher and more commanding than I've ever heard it before.

I shiver and moan, pressing my thighs together to try and contain my wetness to my pussy, which just gives me friction and I whimper.

Hap smirks, "I'm gonna fuck you into the mattress." He states promisingly, as he sits up and extends his arm and hand to grab me.

I smile, hopefully the picture of pure innocence, though it's doubtful since I don't think I've even been hornier. As he's leaning toward me, I open my mouth and lick his cock head with just the very tip of my tongue, before letting my whole tongue circle around it and sucking.

Happy stops moving, his body tensing at my actions, with rough noises coming from him. He narrows his eyes at me, no doubt angry from me not listening to him.

His apparent anger at me only spurs me on, and I moan as I slip the head of his dick into my mouth fully. I can taste myself on him, which surprisingly only makes me hotter, and I suck on him harder.

Hap falls back onto the pillows with a groan, as I put my hand back at the base of him, and then take him deeper. I wanted to drag this whole thing out, me exploring his sexy body more in a full on worshiping blow job, but I can't take it anymore.

I want my prize, so I start setting a rhythm with my mouth and hands working in tandem; Up and down my head bobs on him, while I let my teeth scrape him again a tiny bit, letting my tongue lave at him as he's in my mouth, and increasing the speed and force of my sucking. I grab his balls in my other hand, massaging and tugging them down.

His ragged breaths, seeing his eyes almost rolling into the back of his skull, with his head tilted back as he watches me, while his fists grip my sheets hard enough that his knuckles are white, only make me more eager to complete this. I continue with what I'm already doing, adding more force to it all, and arch my back so my ass is in the air more, and then wiggling it for him, while moaning.

Hap moans loudly as his body tenses and he thrusts his hips up. I meet his wanton thrust, speeding up my stroking hand and mouth, and then adding some more teeth, since I know how much he loves biting. He groans, and shudders, as his cum splashes into my mouth in a warm rush.

I moan at his taste, tangy and spicy with a bitter bite to it. Cum is admittedly not the best taste on the planet, but it's definitely the best reward, and Hap's actually tastes like fucking heaven to me. I keep up with my stroking and sucking, desperate for every last drop I can get of him.

Once I get the last drop from him, I pull my mouth off and give his cock a lingering wet lick, and kiss the head passionately. Happy's hand fists in my hair, and I open my eyes that I didn't realize I had shut, to find him with a sexy satisfied smirk on his lips.

He pulls me up his body, and as soon as I'm within reach, his arm slings around my waist tightening on the opposite hip before he pulls me down onto his body and kissing me. His tongue plunging past my lips, and dominating every part of the inside of my mouth; his tongue lashing at mine, his teeth knocking against my own in his fervor. I moan and immediately try to get closer to him; pressing my chest to his, straddling his waist, my arm around his neck, trying to hold him in place.

Hap pulls back, biting my lip before taking it into his mouth to suck on. I'm grinding down on him while he does this, moaning and groaning for more and loving that he's already hard again, when he flips me over onto my back.

My head tilts back and I whimper as he releases my lips and starts kissing at my neck. I'm literally panting as he gets to my collar bone. When he bites down onto it, I moan ridiculously loud and low as I arch my back and hold his head there for more.

He shakes his head and comes back up and kisses me again, while grinding his hips into mine. Happy pulls back and looks at me, his eyes so dark you can't tell his pupil from his iris. But not so dark that I don't see the emotion in them. I'm not sure which emotion it is, but it sure as shit is a good one that I hope to see often.

"I'm surprised." I say through my uneven breaths.

Happy's eyebrows lift, "You?" he asks incredulously.

I nod, "You're kissing me after I just had my mouth on your cock and balls, and swallowed your cum."

He smiles down at me, "Yeah, I know, I was there."

I smile back at him, "I can go brush my teeth." I suggest, not moving.

It's odd that I'd even think of that, let alone suggest it, but it just makes me realize that I really just want to do anything I can, no matter how big or small, to please him. Not that I'm not my own person or anything, but I really just want him to stay with me. Not in the desperate-can't-lose-you sort of way, although to be honest I think I'm getting there fast, But in the, I-seriously-don't-think-I-can-ever-be-with-anyone-else-but-you, kind of way.

Hap puts more of his weight down on me, with a mischievous glint to his eye and twist to his lips. "You aren't goin' anywhere." He growls

I raise my eyebrows and scoff at him. "Like there's anywhere else I wanna be."

He smirks before kissing me, and then taking his own lick, nibble, suck, bite journey down my neck to my chest. He doesn't give my poor hard nipple any attention, instead kissing across the swell of my boob and around it, while letting his breath hit my nipple like a torturous caress.

I arch my back hoping that it will gain some much needed attention and affection for my lonely nipple. "You…Like weird?" I ask, my question breaking up on a shuddering breath as he bites my nipple out of no where.

Hap swirls his tongue around my throbbing nipple, before sucking it into his mouth and then pulling back, letting the wet popping sound float and linger in the air for a few minutes. He smiles, a genuine heart wrenching panty dropping smile. "I'm…" he trails off to blow across my nipple and I arch my back. "All about the weird."

As I return his smile and my heart is practically singing with joy like some fucking fairy tale, he makes his way across my chest to my other boob; licking, biting, sucking, as he goes. Once he gets there, he does the same thing; nipple avoidance. It still has the same effect; me straining my back to try to get his mouth on me at all costs.

Just as Hap opens his mouth and his pink tongue licks across his lips, my phone goes off. Happy breaks eye contact for probably only the third of forth time since our whole body worshiping started. He looks over at the night stand, before reaching his arm out for the phone.

I put my hand on his arm, stopping him and shaking my head. "If…If it was important… someone would have…called you." I say between breaths.

Hap nods, and puts his hand back on my hip, and turns his attention back to my nipple. I was expecting the feeling of his breath on me, but instead he swirls his tongue around, bites down and then tugs on my nipple.

My back arches so much that I'm completely off the bed, except for my hips which are pinned down by his. Hap doesn't stop, but slips his tongue under the chain on my nipple ring, adding more force to the tugs of his teeth.

I moan and whimper at him as I claw at his back, wanting it to continue but wanting his mouth else where at the same time. He stops the tugging, and sucks on my nipple lightly. I start panting again, and try to grind my hips into him for some friction, but it doesn't work since he's pinning me down so much.

"Hap…" I trail off groaning as he sucks harder and then pops his mouth off me audibly again, making me realize just how quiet all this is, and wonder if he enjoyed the noise my mouth was making on his body as much as I'm enjoying the noises his mouth is making on mine.

"What is it, Baby?" he asks with concern as he blows across my wet nipple.

I arch further than I thought possible. "Mor-…Please?" I say on a moan as I realize I'm really not capable of words right now.

"Please what?" he asks seriously as his lips fight to keep his smile at bay.

I narrow my eyes at him. I try to talk, but no words come to me, so I run my hand down his back, and when I reach his ass, I dig my nails in before pulling him tighter to me.

Happy moans, his head drops to my chest automatically, as his hips flex, and he starts making aggressive swipes with his tongue and bites on my chest.

I'm moaning, pretty sure that I sound like some sort of porn star but unable to care or stop it, as I shake with desire for Hap, while loving that he seems to have lost control, and stopped teasing me.

He bites at my ribs, actually sinking his teeth in, and then turns it into an open mouth wet kiss, I whimper at him, needing more desperately. He looks up at me, looking like some sort of wild animal that got lose, and I fucking love it. I bite my lip, to save myself from saying something totally retarded, and Hap cocks an eyebrow while smirking at me.

His smirk is pure evil, but sexy-fuck-your-brains-out evil, and he leans back down to kiss, lick and bite me some more. This time, his fingers start rubbing against my hips, making slow passes toward my pussy, before retreating back to my hips again.

Just as I'm at my whit's end, ready to yell at him or try to overpower him so I'm on top and can ride him like I should have earlier, the phone goes off again. I take my hand off Hap's back, and flip off my bed stand and the offending phone, and Happy chuckles as he pulls back.

I shake my head, "No…What…?" I ask brokenly my brain seriously clouded over with so much lust that I can't function properly.

His smirk still in place, Hap kisses my lips lightly and then pulls back. "It'll be just a second sweetheart." He says before grabbing the phone and flipping with open without looking at who is calling.

As he presses the phone to his ear, he lays his body down on mine so his face his hovering just above mine, his breath on my lips. I blink then, realizing it's his phone that rang and not mine this time. But I glare at his phone, since the fucker always likes to ring when we're busy.

"What?" Hap barks into the phone, but he's still smirking at me. His body tenses, so I immediately tense too, worry weaving its way in amongst the tingles and heat in my stomach.

I put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly, hoping nothing bad happened. Happy laughs suddenly, a fully amused unstoppable laugh, before holding the phone out to me.

I furrow my brows, confused, and take the phone from him. "H-Hello?" I ask stuttering since my brain is still finding it hard to function, and my heart is pounding with the left over dread that took hold of it.

"About fucking time!" Gemma says exasperated. "Jesus Christ, I've been flipping the fuck out over here."

"What?" I ask confused still. "What's wrong?" I ask as I look up at Hap uncertain.

He shrugs and shakes his head, clearly not knowing, but he's still got that sexy smirk on his lips so I guess it's nothing club related.

Gemma sighs. "Everyone's fine." She takes a deep breath, no doubt taking a drag off a cigarette. "Well not everyone, but the guys are all good, drunk and passed out as usual."

I cock my head. "You're at the clubhouse? Isn't it a bit early for that?" I ask even though I have no clue what time it is.

"It's always too early to find Tig pants-less. You need to get here, its important." She says switching gears from joking to serious in an instant.

The thought of Tig in any way naked puts a big damper on my arousal, and making my brain function again, I sigh. "Gem, seriously, I'm really busy right now. You know I love family dinners and all, but it's not so important for me to rush out and grab something to cook for the night." As I say this, Hap relaxes more and returns to kissing my neck, and I moan as my brain short circuits again.

She clears her throat. "Tell Hap he's just gonna have to wait to get off." Gem says with anger, before switching gears again. "I'm sorry Babygirl, I really am, but I need you to come to the shop, it's _important_."

The way she stresses 'important' gets me back to functioning and I tense, which Hap feels and pulls his head up and puts his face close to mine.

"The fuck is it?" he asks rubbing his thumb against my cheek. "What do I gotta kill?" he asks as he tucks some of my hair behind my ear; His aggressive words at odds with his gentle caring touch.

I shrug, "I don't know, but Gem needs… Important?" I say to them both.

Hap frowns, "I'm sure it can wait."

"The sooner you know, the better." She says with bite. "You know I wouldn't interrupt your Happy time if I didn't need too!"

I sigh and nod. "Yeah, I'll be there."

"Not in a half hour, now." She says the words angry but gentle.

"Sure, soon." I say with a sadly defeated sigh as I hang up and hand Hap his phone back. I sit up, and Happy moves with me instead of away.

"Hey." He says, pulling my face up to look at his by my chin. "We'll see what she wants, then we'll continue." He says as our eyes meet.

For some reason, I'm not convinced, Gemma's words and tone giving me a foreboding feeling, and I think it shows on my face.

Hap leans in closer, his forehead touching mine. "I meant what I said, I'll kill whatever it is." He says solemnly, his face so serious that I feel the urge to cry suddenly.

I hold the random tears at bay, and hug him; burying my face in his neck. "Thank you." I say shakily.

He rubs my back. "Don't worry." He says into my hair, no doubt thinking I'm worrying about him killing someone or something for me, but what he doesn't realize is that he already killed something for me.

"Hap." I say as I squeeze him tighter with gratitude. Unknowingly, he's single handedly killed my urge to scream and cringe when people try to get too close to me; both physically and emotionally.

He pulls back, a hand in my hair holding me close to him still. "I got you, a'ight?" he says looking in my eyes.

I nod, and feel a tear slowly roll down my cheek. Hap catches it on his finger and rubs it away. I lean in and kiss his lips and then pull back shaking. "We should get moving; she said it should be sooner rather than later."

Happy nods and pulls back reluctantly. He gives me a look I can't read, "What's goin' on?" he asks quietly

I look down at my bare legs, ashamed that I'm worrying him with a random dumb ass feeling that there is really no reason to feel. I shake my head, still not looking at him.

Hap sighs, as I feel the bed shift. I look up and see him walk over to a pile of clothes on my bedroom floor before crouching down.

I sit up on my knees and watch him. "You don't have to come if-." I cut myself off as he looks over his shoulder and gives me a look that's clearly daring me to continue, and try to keep him here. I nod and get off the bed.

I grab a pair of jeans from my closet blindly, and come up with tight black skinny jeans. I shrug and grab for a top, ending up with a Johnny Cash shirt. I lean down and grab my high heeled leather boots with the tie up the front that Gemma got for me. I turn to my dresser and grab a bra and panties, before getting dressed.

After pulling my boots on, and as I button my jeans, I see a fully dressed Happy watching me and cock my eyebrow in question, before pulling my shirt over my head.

He licks his lips. "You're really fuckin' hot."

I smile, his words easing some of my dread, and walk up to him. "You're pretty fuckin' hot yourself, Cupcake." I say as I put my hand on his arm.

"Yeah?" Hap asks, as he wraps his arm around my waist pulling me into him.

I nod as I smile up at him still. "Total inferno hot, like a fevered volcano with sizzling…" I look down at his denim cover dick. "Lava."

He makes a rough noise, "I thought we were leavin', but if you wanna stay…" he trails off as he pushes his hips into mine.

I moan and pull him down for a searing kiss. I pull back after a few minutes of our tongues connecting, and sigh. "I don't wanna go, but I gotta." I say and pull away.

Happy nods and turns around, before facing me again. "Here, I'll be behind you the whole way." He says as he hands me my purse.

I smile at him, and kiss his lips before grabbing my purse, digging around inside for my keys, and then slinging it over my shoulder when I find them.

Hap nods once he sees my keys in hand, and turns to walk out of the room, but I put my hand on his arm, stopping him. "I think I should lead the way, since looking at your ass would be too much of a turn on, and I don't think I can take much more."

He shakes his head, "So what happens when I tackle you, and we fall down the stairs, because your ass is swayin' and tauntin' me?" he asks with a smirk.

I cock my head, "Hospital sex? You think it'd work out ok, I mean assuming neither of us have broken legs or something that renders us immobile."

Hap chuckles and shakes his head, "You better get movin' or we won't be leavin' this room for a while."

I smirk at him. "Ok, ok, I'm goin'!" I say before giving him a kiss and walking out of the room.

**-BIA-**

After pulling into the TM parking lot, I shut the car off, turning the already quiet car into deafening silence since I opted for no music this morning. I put my head down on the steering wheel, and close my eyes as I take a deep breath.

My door opens suddenly, I jump surprised and accidentally honk the horn, before pulling back and seeing Happy crouching down at my door.

He brushes my hair away from my face, and hooks it behind my ear, giving a little tug to bring our faces together. "Just relax." He says as he brushes his lips against mine.

"I trying too." I say as I look in his dark unreadable eyes searching for a calm to pull me out of my storm of emotions.

"I'm here, a'ight?" he says gently his deep rasp more pronounced for some reason and squeezes my thigh.

I nod and close my eyes, savoring the feel of his breath bathing my face in warmth, and the heat that swarms my chilled body from his hand on my leg, the combination actually calming me. I blindly reach my hand up and around his head, before pulling him closer and kissing him in thanks.

As I pull back and look at him, I feel bad that I'm being so ridiculous that he has to worry about me instead of being able to go about his usual business. I shake my head. "Sorry, Hap."

His brows furrow, "For what?"

I shrug and pull back from him so I can wave my hand around. "You know, being needy."

Hap smirks, "It sorta comes with the job, don't it?" he asks as he grabs the charm on my necklace.

I smile at him. "I'm not-."

"You ready to do that job?" I hear and snap my head up to see Gemma standing there with one hand on her hip and a cigarette in the other. "If you aren't then you need to stop all this shit right now."

I frown at her wondering why she's being like this, when she's been nothing but supportive of me and Hap getting together.

Happy pulls back and stands up while offering me a hand out of my car, which I accept. He turns to Gemma with a scowl on his face. "Stop what shit?"

Gemma raises her eyebrows as she tosses her cigarette to the pavement and grinds it out under her boot. She stares at Happy for a long moment, before turning her gaze to me, and then looking the two of us up and down. "I take it that this mornin' was a good one."

I huff, "It was, until you called with whatever this important thing is."

"Good isn't the word I'd use." Hap says with a smirk.

Gemma narrows her eyes at Happy, and then glares. "You can cut all knight in shining armor bullshit."

"Gem what the fu-." I start.

Hap's scowl deepens before he cuts me off. "I'm not a knight in shinin' armor, just an asshole in a cut, but I got her."

"You're not an asshole." I say, and they both give me disbelieving looks. "To me." I tack on and Hap puts his arm around my waist and gives a little squeeze.

Gemma gives an exasperated huff. "Yeah you got her; she's sprung off your dick. You can't just help her with whatever issue she has with sex. You have to actually talk to Mac, listen to her, be there-."

Happy's grip on my waist tightens more as his body tenses up. "I am there, and I'm gonna be there, I fuckin' got her." He says from gritted teeth cutting Gemma off, and it's obvious that he wants to say more but is holding it back.

Luckily for me, I refuse to hold my words back when it comes to him. I turn to Gemma and glare at her. "What the fuck? Why are you being a bitch to Hap?" I ask with narrowed eyes. "Wait, is this because I refuse to talk about what's going on with us to you? If so, that's some fucked up petty high school bullshit, Gem, even for you."

She starts to return my glare but puts a stop to it. "It's because I need to know if he actually gives a fuck." She says to me before turning to Hap. "I hope you know what you're getting' into. If this is about pussy, club rank, or some sort of clout then now would be the time to bow out, sweetheart. 'Cause Mac don't need a bunch of shit. Not today."

"That's fuckin' ridiculous!" I say and throw my hands in the air.

Hap tenses further and pulls me further into his side by his grip on my waist. "I do give a fuck, actually I give lots and lots of fucks, and I don't mean with my dick. Mac's my girlfriend, period."

I look up at him surprised because I didn't think he'd ever call me his girlfriend, let alone do so with such anger in his voice to defend me, hell to defend _us_.

"Why the fuck would I put my neck on the line for some sort of braggin' rights that aren't even close to existin'?" Hap continues. "All the guys love her, even Koz and he doesn't even know her. I'm not doin' this to get in good with Clay. And it sure as shit ain't for braggin' rights, 'cause I wouldn't live to fuckin' brag 'bout it for a second."

"You co-." Gemma starts.

But Happy cuts her off again, since he's apparently not done. "It's not an almost anything. It's an actual relationship that's fuckin' happenin', if you don't like it, then I don't give a fuck. Mac might, but I sure as shit don't care what you think about it. I respect you as Clay's Old Lady, and as Jax's mom, but you better watch what you do to Mac." He pauses to cock an eyebrow. "I won't see her hurtin' 'cause of anyone."

I can't control the shocked gasp that escapes me, because I knew Hap wanted me and cared, but I didn't think he'd openly threaten Gemma, because he does have such respect for her. Let alone that he'd have the threat be open to anyone.

"Good, you better stick to that." Gemma says with a smile in her voice. I turn to look at her and she's smiling ecstatically. "What? Mac deserves someone to go to bat for her, regardless of what might happen. I'm glad you're steppin' up. But I need you to step back so I can talk to her about something."

Happy shakes his head, "I ain't goin' no where. Now tell me what the fuck is so important, already." He says as he braces his feet farther apart.

Gemma looks to me, and I nod as I sling my arm around Hap's waist. "Just spill already."

She shrugs with a frown as she runs a hand through her hair. "After you guys all left the carnival last night, Tristan Oswald went missing."

I frown as I vaguely remember seeing the young girl with her father, Elliot Oswald, talking to my dad and Jax handing her something from his pocket, as I was walking around pissed at Bobby.

I cock my head, "Why didn't someone call in the guys to search for her?" I ask confused.

Gemma sighs, and I notice that she looks very tired. "Because we found her…"

I straighten up and lean forward, "and…?"

"Someone kill her, here in Charmin'?" Hap asks

She shakes her head and looks down at her boots, clearly stalling.

As the tense silence wraps around us, my heart starts to beat faster in my chest, and my lungs seem starved for air, as my stomach sinks to my toes, and my eyes burn. "She was raped." I say quietly.

Gemma's head snaps up, and she has tears in her eyes. "Yeah, she was, baby." She says as she reaches a hand out and touches my arm. "I figured it'd be best if I told you before you heard it with everyone else around."

I nod numbly, unsure if it really would have mattered who was around since the sting of the situation would still be there.

"You use to babysit her or somethin'?" Hap asks as he looks down at me.

I look up and him, and the tears in my eyes flood down onto my cheeks. "N-." my words won't come out, so I settle for shaking my head.

Happy furrows his eyebrows as muscles tick in his cheek, before he pulls me to him and hugs me, with one arm. "I'll find him." He says as he tightens his arm around my shoulder.

I nod, and sniffle as I turn fully into his body, my head against his chest as I wrap my arms around him. I'm not sure how long he was holding me like that for, but at the sound of a motorcycle I turn my head to the side and look into the parking lot, just in time to see my dad parking his bike.

More tears assault my already burning watery eyes and my lip quivers uncontrollably. I turn back into Hap and squeeze him, as I shake my head.

"What's wrong? What the fuck happened?" My dad demands as his voice gets closer with each word.

"Tristan Oswald was raped at Funtown last night." Gemma answers him softly.

"Fuck!" My dad says.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch as I burrow into Happy further, and the hand disappears from me.

"Princess, it's ok. It'll be alright." My dad says close by.

I push my face further into Hap's chest, until I can feel his heart beat against my cheek.

"Hap, take her into a dorm room and have her lay down for a while." My dad says.

"I got her." Happy says before his hands slip down to my waist and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders and I bury my face into his neck.

**-BIA-**

Happy lay me down on the bed and pulls back as soon as we get to the dorm. I can feel him looking at me, but I stay focused on the ceiling, trying to keep myself from breaking down.

"You need anythin'?" He asks.

I shake my head, not even willing to attempt to speak.

"A drink or some shit?"

As I shake my head again, the bed dips suddenly, and then Hap's face is in mine.

"You a'ight?" He asks but then shakes his head, and leans back.

I feel the bed dip again, and then feel his body next to mine, with his arm brushing mine.

"You're gonna have to tell me what to do here."

"Just…" I trail off with a wince as my voice cracks with emotion. "Just be."

"The fu- do you mean?" he asks

I feel the pull of a smile at my lips, at him stopping mid 'fuck', but it never forms. I turn on my side, lift his arm, and slip underneath, putting my head on his chest, and Hap wraps his arm around my shoulder firmly. "Just be." I say again as I press my face into the side of his cut.

"This is day two for these clo-." Hap starts

I cut him off by shaking my head and putting my hand on his chest and fisting it into his shirt, "Don't leave."

"I'm not." He says with a squeeze to my shoulder.

I sigh, relieved, but don't unclench my fist in his shirt.

I lay there, my head on his heart, hearing the strong beat even through his shirt and cut; my hand on his chest, raising and falling with each of his breaths; Tears lingering and burning in my eyes, but not falling for some unknown reason.

I'm not sure how long we laid there in silence except for our breaths and the occasional sniffle from me, but slowly I became aware of the noises of the clubhouse; Doors shutting too loudly, but not loud enough to be a slam; Heavy boot clad footsteps, loud voices, and the unmistakable sound of beer bottles connecting with each other.

I tilt my head, and look up at Happy. He's staring at the ceiling with his arm still wrapped around me. He'd be the picture of complete relaxation, except for the tension in his body. I realized then that Hap doesn't really like cuddling according to himself, even though I know he loves it. But maybe cuddling during the day is pushing it.

I lean back and sit up, pulling his arm off me. "Let's get outta here."

Hap sits up too. "A'ight, where you wanna go?"

I shake my head. "No, I can't leave."

He looks at me confused. "Why not?"

I rub my forehead where a headache is taking root. "I just gotta get some air." I say as I get off the bed and head for the door.

Happy grabs my arm as I reach for the door knob, and turns me to face him. "I'm lost here, give me somethin'." He says studying my face.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and take a deep breath before opening them, and meeting his curious brown eyes. "Memories…" I trail off and clear my throat. "They're swampin' me."

He narrows his eyes in thought, and nods slowly. "Don't do that whole 'can't breathe' thing on me again, a'ight?"

I cock my head at him confused. "You, you mean a panic attack?" I ask when I realize what he means.

He nods again. "That shit… it's…" he trails off and shakes his head, not even trying to finish.

I study him; his eyes are roaming all over my face more watchful than normal, but keep going back to my eyes, as if he's keeping tabs on my sanity. He's worried, I realize. That's why he was tense, and he isn't sure what to do. It's not that he's uncomfortable helping me out, he's just unsure of how to go about it, and he's been good at everything I've seen him do.

"Hap…" I trail off and hug him. "You're awesome, thank you." I say before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, and then pulling back.

"I didn't do anythin'." He says clearly confused.

I shake my head. "You help more than either of us realizes." I say before grabbing his hand and giving it a tug. "Now c'mon, we need some fresh air." I say as I pull him out the dorm door, meeting no resistance from him.

"Hey Mac, Hap." I hear Juice say as we walk into the main room of the clubhouse.

I turn to him, "Hey Ju- You're not wearing any pants." I say surprised when I see him wearing a shirt, his cut, and his boots, while laying on the couch.

"No he isn't." Hap says roughly as he puts a hand on my lower back and pushes me firmly toward the door.

I walk with him, while looking up at his face, only to see that the stoic mask is back, and the ticking muscle in his cheek as well.

I pat his chest with my hand as he opens the door and light shines inside the dark room. "Cupcake, I told you, noth-."

He nods, cutting me off. "I know. But the fucker could at least put some goddamn pants on."

I look away from his angry face, across the lot, with a light chuckle escaping me. My chuckle dies on my tongue as I see none other than Elliot Oswald walking out of the TM office, and getting in his car.

I blink; completely confused as to why he would be here when he doesn't like to associate with the outlaws. But then I see my Dad and Jax walk out of the office, both looking a bit grim.

I cock my head, but then quickly narrow my eyes, before turning them to Oswald's retreating car, and then back to my dad and brother, and then back to Oswald's car again; my head whipping back and forth between the three men several times until Oswald's car is no longer visible, and my dad and Jax are stepping up to me and Happy.

"You ok, Princess?" my Dad asks immediately.

I nod, "Was Oswald here for-."

"Club business." He answers too quickly cutting me off and shutting me down.

"I'm s-." I start only to get cut off again.

"You gonna work today?" Jax asks.

I turn a disbelieving expression toward him, as my dad shakes his head.

"What?" Jax asks as he pulls a cigarette out of his inside cut pocket. "There's all those invoices and order forms and shit in there." He says with a tilt of his head at the office.

My dad turns toward him fully. "You really think she's gonna work _today_, with all that's goin' on."

Jax shrugs, but then looks at me as he takes a puff off his smoke. "How the hell can you already know, when _I _just found… Gemma." He says answering his unfinished question.

I nod, and look at the two of them. "What's the plan?" I ask

They both shake their heads. "No plan, but we got a meetin'. Hap." My dad says with a tilt of his head toward the clubhouse.

Happy nods and then looks down at me. I wave my hand at him, silently telling him I'm fine, and to go with them.

He narrows his eyes as he does the whole searching my face thing again.

I sigh. "Go." I say with a shake of my head.

Hap cocks his head at me, searches some more, and then gives a single nod, before turning on his heel and walking toward the clubhouse with Jax and my dad.

When they're a few feet away Jax turns around and looks at me with narrowed eyes. I flip him off, and he shakes his head. "She's fine." He says confidently as he turns back around.

I roll my eyes. _Yeah, I'm completely fine._ I think as I slowly walk in their wake toward the clubhouse. I walk inside, just in time to see and hear the chapel doors shut, leaving the main room empty.

I stare at the doors that the guys have all disappeared through, and nod, knowing this is the best course of action on my part. I walk backwards, still keeping my eyes on the door, and blindly sit on a bar stool to wait.

Roughly twenty minutes passed in relative silence, except for the occasional voice that floated out from the chapel, mumbled and warped, an unrecognizable speaker or words. Until I heard the thing I was hoping for.

"I'm in." Chibs voice rang out, no doubt a yell inside the room to be heard so clearly by me out here, and some smacking of hands on the table.

I feel giddy, but not in a girlie skippy way, But with adrenaline flooding my system, making me extremely eager and jittery way.

As soon as the chapel doors open, I slide off my stool, and brace my feet apart, knowing this won't be easy.

The guys all look a mixture of sad, angry, and eager. They slow, and then stop, when they see me standing there waiting for them.

"Everythin' alright, darlin'?" Chibs asks

I ignore it. "I want in." I say raising my voice a bit and keeping my words clear so there's no misunderstanding.

Silence. Deep, worried silence greets my words, and lingers, making the air feel heavy and oppressive.

"The poker game's not 'til next week, Pip." Tig says recovering first.

I shake my head. "I'm not stupid, so don't try to play me." I tell the whole room. "Oswald was here, and-."

"He was lookin' for a new mechanic, and wondered if we knew of anyone who was interested." My Dad says cutting me off.

I had waited to hear his whole bullshit excuse, but narrowed my eyes at him now. "Bullshit! He was here to enlist you guys for help with the asshole that raped his daughter."

All the guys kept their expressions the same, carefully blank, except Juice. He looked down at his boots, but then quickly snapped his head back up when he realized his mistake.

"Oswald's a straight shooter, Princess. He wouldn't-."

"Stop!" I say to my dad. "Can't you just fuckin' stop and be honest? I already know what he was here for; it was all over his face when he was leaving." I raise my eyebrows at him. "Don't you think I know a look of a father hell bent on revenge for his daughter?"

My dad frowns. "That doesn't mean-."

"Oh it means everything!" I say cutting him off. "I want in on this revenge, justice, ass-beating, killing, whatever the fuck the plan is, I'm in."

"Not even a possibility." My dad says shaking his head, his voice serious and adamant.

"No, you're not." Happy's deep rasp seems to vibrate off the floorboards, at the same time as my dad's.

Jax turns and gives Hap a curious look, but then turns back to me. "Absolutely not, you're staying here."

I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, before popping them open and looking straight at my dad. "You don't understand. I _need_ this. I never got my chance or anything close to my chance, for closure. Do you… Do you know what it's like?" I ask rhetorically and then look at every guy in the room, before focusing back on my dad.

"Sitting back and being kept occupied, because you're a burden? To have no control? That's what that shit feels like, ya know! To be sitting back and know everyone, every single person you love, is out there, risking their own asses just for you. Just one mistake, one tiny ass mistake, could ruin your family even worse than the one you made." I could feel the hot tears streak down my face as my words turned personal.

"You were _never_ a burden." My dad says as he takes a step forward

I step back quickly and hold my hand up. "I need my chance, to see justice happen, to watch it with my own two eyes. I fuckin' _need_ it!" I say stressing the word so much it sounds like a screech

My Dad shuts his eyes, and shakes his head, as his whole body sags. He opens his eyes and looks at me, letting the sadness settle over his face and blaze out of his eyes. "Only for the act itself, not the hunt." He points his finger at me. "Take it easy all day, then you're with us tonight."

My lip quivers, and my vision blurs as so many tears assault my eyes at once, before streaming down my face. "Thank… you." I say through my sniffles and tears.

"Chibs, help her out." Tig says

"It ain't me anymore." Chibs says.

"Hap, you stay here with her. Keep her…Her." My dad orders

I don't hear a reply, but I feel a pair of solid arms slide around me and pull me into a warm strong nook. Hap's smell that my brain can't identify as anything other than man incases me, and my body instantly relaxes.

I bring my hands up, and fist both of them in his shirt, holding me to him. Happy's arms tighten across my lower back in response, echoing his words from earlier; _'I got you, a'ight'._

I nod into his chest, knowing he has me, and pull back slowly.

"Better?" He asks

I nod, as I do a quick glance around the room only to frown when I see that everyone left. "When…?" I ask waving my hand around the empty room.

Hap follows the hand movement and then looks back at me with a shrug. "'Bout an hour ago."

I cock my head, confused how an hour could have passed, before looking at the clock, which does no good because I have no clue what time it's been all morning.

"Let's get you somethin' to eat." Happy says

I shake my head. "I'm not hungry."

He narrows his eyes at me. "You didn't eat anythin' yet today. You're gonna eat."

I sigh. "Maybe something small would be ok." I say even though my stomach twists with nausea just at the thought of food.

"You'll eat what I bring you. All of it." He says before walking to the clubhouse kitchen.

I shake my head at his reaper covered back, and try to engage my missing appetite. With no success, I look around and my eyes are drawn to the 'Wall Of Fame". John Teller's mug shot snaps out and seems to pull me into focusing on it. I feel the tears prick at my eyes again and my lip do that pathetic quivering thing. I shake my head, but it doesn't stop the tears, so I turn my back and start pacing.

"There ain't shit for food here." Hap says and I stop pacing and look up at him.

He sits down a plate and cup on the bar, before walking over to me. He lifts my face up by my chin. "What is it?" he asks softly.

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head.

Happy cups my chin in his hand firmly. "You know how to talk, I know ya do." He says with a smile in his voice.

My eyes open and I see a small smile on his lips.

"Just talk. It doesn't have to be anythin', just say somethin' that let's me know you're here." He says, his smile long gone.

"Sorry." I say shaking my head.

Hap stops my head from shaking and then shakes his own sharply. "Nah, Try again."

"I'm tryin', it's hard." I say weakly.

He makes a rough noise in his throat. "That doesn't sound like my girl."

My mind and heart race when he uses those words; _my girl_, and I gasp. "Where's my unicorn?"

Hap smirks. "Welcome back, baby."

"Where is he?" I ask again.

He shrugs. "At the house, now come eat." He says pulling me to the bar as he speaks. "Grape juice, string cheese, crackers, a slice of pizza, and an apple."

I look up at him, raising my eyebrows.

Hap shakes his head. "C'mon and eat." He says as he pushes me down onto a stool.

"What about you?" I ask as he sits next to me.

He waves his hand in the air dismissively. "Later."

I sigh and shake my head, seeing the determination in his face. "I'm really not hungry."

"Doesn't matter, you're eatin'."

"But I'm na-." I start but get cut off when he sticks the end of the pizza in my mouth. I bite down instinctively and groan at how good it tastes even though my stomach gives another unhappy twist.

"See how easy it is? You wanna try it on your own now?" he asks sarcastically.

I glare at him as I take the slice of pizza and bite into it again. Hap chuckles and I elbow him lightly in the ribs. "Smushhh!" I tell him.

He raises his eyebrows. "What was that? What's 'smushhh'?" he asks imitating me

"Sushh!" I say after swallowing my mouthful.

"Ah." He nods with a smile. "Foods good, huh?"

"Maybe." I say as I bite into the apple now. I lean my head against his shoulder, enjoying the silence and comfort he brings while eating my apple.

I can feel Hap shift and I look up at him, only to find him looking down at me. "No one's gonna take your food. You can slow down."

I sigh as I put the apple core down on the plate. "Geez, eat, don't eat. Make up my mind already!"

He shakes his head. "When I told you to talk, I didn't mean…" he shakes his head again. "It's a'ight to be pissed, sad, or whatever, just don't hide from it."

My eyelids slowly flutter, before closing and I nod. I open my eyes, and feel my stomach start to rebel as I see my plate in front of me, so I quickly push it away.

Hap nods. "Pizza, apple, and juice; Good." He says before picking the plate up and taking it into the kitchen.

I squint at his retreating form, wondering how I got so goddamn lucky to have such a strong man, in every aspect, as my boyfriend.

"_Look here, hermano, look what I found._"

I jump out of my seat so fast that the stool hits the floor with a loud crash. I whirl around, paying no attention to the room, but looking for the source of the voice. I see no one, until Happy comes running into the room, gun in hand, finger trained on the trigger.

"The fuck happened?" he asks when he sees no threat.

"I…I-I…" I say shaking my head as I quickly look around the room, still finding nothing. "H-he… he said…"

Hap comes up to me, "Who?" he asks, but I keep looking around. "Who said what?" he asks again as he touches my shoulder.

"_Mr. Morrow, this isn't a good idea. She could sabotage herself, and everyone around her."_

I launch myself backwards as if his touch burned me at the words. I look around again, still nothing, but it doesn't stop my heart from thundering in my chest.

Happy's hands cup my shoulders roughly as he pulls me around to focus on him. "Mac, look at me."

_Safe, I'm safe._ Floats through my head as soon as I see his dark eyes.

"I'm alright." I say, as I break away from him and start pacing.

His touch was nice, but it was those eyes, those eyes that are darker and richer than any dark chocolate known to man. The searching, had been accompanied by some sort of knowledge, but he can't know. If he knew…

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head while pacing and arguing with myself.

I can't let him in. Bad… wrong…horrible…unspeakable... yes unspeakable- unspeakable things happened. And he can't know, he can't_ ever_ know.

But if he knows, he can help. Just look at how much he's helped with the panic attacks. Those pathetic things don't stand a chance with Hap around.

And who do you think Hap'll be around when he knows what happened to us? That's right chickadee, _not_ us. We need to keep the walls up, stand guard-.

"_Stand guard over there, Emilio, no one gets through, no one sees our little red crows." Forced laughter, "Two birds with one stone, a big and little crow."_

I look around frantically, seeing Happy on the couch. "You need to go."

He stands up from the couch. "I ain't leavin' you, not like this."

"…_Abandonment issues, trouble forming relationships, and connections…"_

I grit my teeth to hold in my frustrations, as I dig down deep. "Hap, you should be helping -."

"Tell me what to do." He says taking a step away from the couch and closer to me.

"_Imagine pouring poison into an open wound, that's what this is going to do to your daughter. DON'T let her tell you what to do."_

I shake my head, and step back. "Go out and help look for the asshole that hurt her. I _know_ you're good at your job, I need you to go and do it."

"Nah, I'm stayin' with you." Happy says firmly.

"You don't get it. The best way to help is to find this guy." I tell him while still pacing

Happy searches my face again, for what has to be the thousandth time today, before slowly nodding. "Don't leave here, and if you need anything call me."

Focus on pacing, just keep moving and the past won't catch up; I tell myself.

"Hey, you hear me?" he says when I don't answer

"Yeah, stay, call." I say waving my hand

Hap grabs me by my arms, stopping my movements, and bends down into my face. "I'll be back, stay calm, that shit can't get you. Be strong and hold on."

"I-I'll try." I say my voice wobbly

"_DO_ it." He says pressing his forehead to mine firmly before turning and walking away.

I stand frozen to the spot, watching him go, seeing the door open, light spilling in, the door shutting, closing me alone in the darkness as I try to pace the memories away.

"_Chirp, chirp as loud as you can little birdie, no one can hear you."_

"No, no, no, no." I chant as I put my head in my hands, pacing faster.

"_Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp…"_

**-BIA-**

"Jesus, you been pacin' this whole time?"

"Mac?MAC?"

"No, don't touch-…." I feel a hand on my shoulder; I spin around, striking out. "Her"

Not satisfied with one hit, or the "oof" I heard when I connected, I pull back my fist for another hit, only for a warm calloused hand to wrap around my fist and hold it back.

I blink, looking at the hand stopping me from protecting myself, and then blink again before running my eyes up the heavily tattooed arm and up to Happy's face, as he pulls me into the safety of his body.

My eyes focus on my surroundings; the dark clubhouse, the bar, Chibs looking concerned, and Tig holding his hand to a fresh bloody cut on his cheek.

I shake my head, "W-what, did I do?" I say hating how weak and thready my voice is, but hating the fact that I attacked one of the guys because I couldn't get a grip, even more.

Hap tightens his hand on my fist before letting go and rubbing my arm, "It's a'ight."

My breaths gasp out of me, at the realization that it is alright, perfectly alright, when Happy's with me. The strings that have been holding me upright snap, causing my whole body to sag, seemingly in slow motion to me, I grab onto Happy's shirt and cut; Trying to keep a hold on my sanity, as raw sobs rip up my throat and my knees give out.

Happy's arms wrap around my waist and lift me up, but I can't make myself cooperate with him; my legs unwilling to listen to my brain's command to wrap around his waist, and my hands defiantly clutching onto his shirt not willing to part with it.

"Relax, baby, I gotchu." Happy whispers in my ear.

I whimper, as his voice seems to send an electrical shockwave thru my ear and body, finally making my brain function semi normally. I lift my legs, wrap them around his waist, and Hap starts walking. Then with painful slowness, I unclench each finger from his shirt. Once one hand is free, I slide it up his chest and around his neck without removing my hand from him, before doing the same with my other hand.

Happy sits down, with me in his lap and my arms locked around his neck. I put my face into his chest, and shake my head. "I'm pathetic." I say, sniffling as the last of my tears dry.

"Nah, just-." Hap starts as he rubs my back.

"Princess, you need anything?" My dad asks from behind me.

"Food, drink…Alcohol?" Bobby asks.

"Why don'tcha go lay down, Darlin'." Chibs says

"Clay, I'm not sure she should go with us tonight." Tig says.

"I don't like it, but you heard her, she needs this." My dad says to him.

"She's not dealin' well with this shit now, how you think she's gonna be when she sees the fucker?" Tig asks

"She'll be fine, Happy'll be there." Bobby says. "And he won't let shit go too far for her, right Hap?"

As an awkward and tense silence descends after Bobby's question, I want nothing more than to turn my head and see how he looks, to see how he meant that. Because it sounded like he's trying to make up for his comments at Funtown, and like he's more accepting of my and Hap's relationship now. But I'm completely powerless to anything other than holding on to Happy.

"Have your silent conversation later." My dad says slicing through the silence. "How 'bout it Hap? You gonna be able to stay with her, and keep her from losin' it tonight?"

I tighten my arms around Hap's neck, and push my face deeper into his chest. "I'll be fi-."

Happy leans forward, bringing us closer together, and no doubt capturing the full attention of the guys and my dad. "Nothin' bad's gettin' at her, or thru me."

"We need ta find tha piece a shite." Chibs says as I feel new tears in my eyes. "But first, we should leave Mac ta get some rest."

I shake my head against Happy. "I wanna stay right here, just like this, with them here." I say.

Hap nods, and then leans back. "She wants everyone to stay here."

"No problem, Princess." My Dad says.

I sigh, relieved, and snuggle into Happy to get more comfortable.

He squeezes my hip. "Stop wigglin'."

"I'm just tryin' to-." I stop moving and laugh lightly. "I didn't mean to." I say biting my lip and tilting my head so I can still keep it on his chest, then look up at him.

Happy smiles at me. "Neither did I."

I return his smile, "You're kinda flirty."

He snorts, "Not really."

I shrug and turn my face back into his shirt. "Well I like it."

**-BIA-**

I hear a loud bang and jump into consciousness, and feel Happy's arms tighten around me.

"Jax." Hap grunts clearly unhappy. "It's a'ight." he says to me.

"Gemma got Tristan to talk. It was that Carney clown that raped her." Jax says a little winded. "Hale was there talkin' to the Oswalds, we need to move."

My heart starts racing not only from being woken up so abruptly, but from the news that they have a name, and a face to go with the scumbag.

I let go of Happy, and climb off his lap, stepping back from the couch, I turn to face all the guys. "Let's go."

The guys all stop and study me, no doubt unsure of how to take the calm and steady tone of my voice.

My dad nods. "You're ridin' in the van with Chibs; the rest of us'll be on our bikes."

I turn my head and look at Happy, wondering how I'll be without him near me. I take a deep breath and clench my hands into fists, before turning back to my dad with a slow nod.

"I can ride in the van." Hap offers as he stands up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

My dad shakes his head. "I want her outta there right after it's over, so you're on your bike."

Hap sighs, "A'ight." he squeezes my shoulder.

I nod, and walk thru the room, pulling my hair up into a messy bun as I head toward the door.

"She ain't all there, man." I hear Jax say as I walk out into the night toward the van.

When I get to the van, I hop in the passenger seat and look out at the TM lot. As soon as I see all the guys emerge from the clubhouse, I take a deep breath and track Happy as he steps up to his bike, puts his helmet on and glances over at the van. I can't read the expression on his face. But he nods and then turns before climbing onto his bikes and waiting for the rest of the guys to do the same.

"Ya ready darlin'?" Chibs asks and I jump since I didn't hear the door open or him get in.

I nod as I pull my eyes away from Hap and focus them out the windshield to the pavement.

I hear the engine start, and see the parking lot turn into the road.

The yellow lines in the middle turn to white.

A tree catches my eye.

The taillights of the guy's bikes in front of us, as they dip and curve with the road.

Bright colorful lights disrupting the darkness.

The engine turning off.

"Mac, this could get-." Chibs says

I shake my head and he stops talking. I see him nod out of the corner of my eye as the guys in front of us get off their bikes, and pull their helmets off.

"Stay in yer seat." He tells me before I hear a door open and shut.

I see the guys all start walking off, their steps predatory, eager, thrilled, purposeful. I'm a good distance away, but I see another group of guys come from behind something, meeting my family head on and fighting them.

Deep down I know that any other time I'd be itching to be out there and part of the action. Helping my family, cheering them on, it doesn't matter, just to feel included. But I don't feel that.

Instead I feel impatient, jittery and worried. Not about them getting hurt, but about not finding the sick bastard who hurt Tristan.

I feel the anxiety swell in me suddenly, and look down at my hands. Focusing on clenching and unclenching them into fists as I take deep breaths. As I finally get the feeling to recede, I hear a yell and snap my head up, only to come face to face with some guy that I don't know.

I can feel the realization settle over me like a warm blanket, seeping into me and sparking something deep inside me that's never known the light of day.

I feel the slight rock of the van as the back door slides open rather than hear it. I can't take my eyes of the clown. The van rocks again when the door slams shut.

And then we're driving along, it only registers because the maggot in the back that's bound and gagged keeps sliding around and bumping into the walls of the van.

The van rocks again, this time harder. And then there are arms reaching into the van, grabbing and pulling him outside roughly.

I swing my door open and step out, walking at a fast clip to keep up with them. I trip, but feel a strong arm catch me around the waist before I can even stumble completely. I continue on walking, not stopping for an instant.

The guys have all stopped, but I keep walking, trying to get closer, until that arm settles on my shoulder and pulls me back.

"They need room." I hear Happy say.

Too caught up in keeping focused on the reason we're here, I don't answer. I can't hear anything, see anything, or feel anything, not one damn thing. My sole focus, my mission, is to watch this worthless son of a bitch.

My view is cut off suddenly.

A flash of light glinting on steel.

A knife.

The play of light across the blade as it drops to the ground.

I start moving.

Two steps brings me up next to my father, and I grab his gloves out of his hand.

I pull them on as I continue moving.

I bend down and grab the knife.

I stand, and come face to face with him.

I don't blink.

I don't think.

I act.

I take what's most precious to every man, and cut it off.

I drop the knife.

I look down at him.

The pain etched on his face.

Muffled screams and whimpers reach me.

I smile.

Someone pulls the gloves off me.

Crickets chirp.

Strong arms pick me up.

Carry me away.

Putting me down, and kneeling down.

Happy touches my cheek and nods. He sits in front of me, and pulls my arms around him; giving them a firm squeeze, before the familiar rumble of a motorcycle engine fires up, and I bury my face in his back

Hap pats my hands, and then pries them apart, before standing up.

I look up confused, only to see my house and driveway.

He picks me up off his bike, and carries me to the door. I can hear the jingle of keys but don't see them, before he opens the door and flicks a light on.

Happy doesn't pause for an instant, he walks in, shuts the door behind us, and then I hear the click of the lock. He starts walking again, this time heading straight for the stairs.

We get to my room, and he sits me on the bed before kneeling. I can feel the air hitting my skin, and my clothes coming off, but am completely unable to do anything to help.

He leans back and keeps his eyes on me, his face doing that whole blank thing that he does so well. Hap pulls his shirt over his head, before standing up and undoing his belt, then pulling his pants and boxers down.

I don't even have a chance to blink, let alone admire him, before he picks me up again and starts walking

When he turns on the light in the bathroom, I want nothing more than to ask him what he's doing, but my brain can't even form the commend, let alone deliver it.

Hap sits me down, and then leans over and away from me. I hear water start up and follow the tattooed line of his arm into the shower to see him adjusting the temperature.

He steps back, and looks down at me before kneeling again. His hand makes its way up my neck and into my hair, before coming back down on an avalanche of red.

Happy takes my hand and pulls me up to my feet slowly, before guiding me to the shower and then getting in behind me.

His hands rub my shoulders slightly, before he turns me to face him. "Close your eyes."

My eyes shut immediately, my brain not even questioning him for a second.

I feel one of his hands go to my head and the other slide down my back. He dips me back, and I feel the warm water cascade down over me, before Hap pulls me back upright and removes his hands.

I open my eyes and see him squirting shampoo into his hand. He turns back to me and puts his hands together, before bringing them back to my hair.

A moan escapes my lips, as his hands massage the shampoo into my hair, gently, firmly, thoroughly. His face very serious and focused on the task at hand.

"Close yo-." He says but stops as I shut my eyes again.

He dips me back under the spray, but this time supports me with one hand on my back as the other rubs and scratches at my scalp getting all the shampoo out.

Hap pulls me back up, and into a hug, holding me tightly.

My hands lay useless by my sides, before my brain finally starts to function again. I gasp, before bringing my arms up and clutching him to me tighter, feeling my nails dig into his back. "Hap."

"Shh, it's a'ight." He whispers into my ear as he takes a step forward putting us both under the spray of the showerhead.

I shake my head against his chest.

We stand there, both naked, with him holding me together, under the rapidly cooling water, neither of us speaking or doing anything except holding the other tighly.

Happy bends forward suddenly, bending me backwards a bit with him, and the water stops. "C'mon." he says as he stands back up before stepping out of the shower and pulling me with him.

He pulls a towel out and dries my body before pulling another towel out and drying my hair.

I reach my hand up and place it on his, stopping him and taking the towel to dry my hair myself. He lets it go and grabs another towel to sling around his waist, before grabbing my hand and pulling me into my room.

Hap stops and looks around the room, before turning to me. "What'd ya wanna wear?"

I look up at him confused as I still fluff my hair with my towel to dry it.

"I don't know where your shit is." He says waving his free hand around the room.

I nod, and walk over to my dresser and pull of a random pair of sleep shorts and cami, not paying any attention to it. I throw my towel into the hamper before pulling the shorts and cami on, not even bothering with a bra and panties.

"C'mon." Hap says with a tilt of his head at the door.

"Where?" I ask my voice hoarse

"You're gonna eat somethin', at least drink somethin', then we're goin' to bed." He says

I sigh. "Can't we just go to bed now?" I ask hating how pathetic I sound

He shakes his head. "Nah, food, drink, then bed." Hap says before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room.

I watch the swing of the lavender towel as Hap walks down the stairs ahead of me. The contrast of his brown skin against the pale purple, is truly striking, making his tattoos seem to pop off his skin

"Sit." He says as he pulls me toward the kitchen.

I half sit, half stand as he walks into the kitchen. I watch as he opens the cupboards one by one until he pulls a cup down and then heads to the fridge. He pulls out orange juice and fills the cup before bringing it to me.

"Drink." He orders before turning back and looking thru the cupboards. "What'd ya feel like eatin'?" he asks while his head's in the refrigerator.

I shrug while taking a sip of my juice. It tastes so good, and I realize that I'm thirsty, so I guzzle it all down, before smack the cup down on the counter.

Hap turns around quickly and looks at me. "More?"

I nod. "Please?"

He smiles at me and brings the carton of orange juice over. "Anythin' sound good?" he asks as he fills my cup.

I shake my head. "Just b-." I stop cutting myself off as I spot something in the living room.

"What's wrong?" Happy asks

I shake my head again as I stand up fully, before walking into the living room. I crouch down in front of the picture, feeling the tears pool in my eyes. "I'm sorry." I mumble to it.

"What?" Hap asks from behind me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling that this is the right thing to do. I open my eyes and pick up the picture before turning around to face him. I pull the picture to my body, hugging it, before holding it out to Happy.

He takes the picture and looks at it. I step closer to him, and lean in while pointing at the picture. "See how happy my dad is there? I ruined that. I ruined it all…"

**A/N- So there you have it! It's a cliffie, and the next chapter will be sad hard to write, so i need your reviews to keep me going! I'd like to know what everybody thinks and what you all like! **


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